I get asked a lot of questions, either in comments, in the “Ask” box on my Tumblr page, in my Fetlife inbox or in my email. While I welcome messages of any sort and I attempt to respond to every one I receive, I have decided to reintroduce the FAQ page to answer the questions that I get most frequently. If there’s a question you think should be on this page and isn’t, feel free to leave it in the comments section!
Spanking FAQ:
Q: Were you spanked as a child?
A: I was not spanked as a child. I received my first spanking when I was eighteen years old. This was done consensually and from the man who became my first Top: SF.
Q: Is spanking something that you just do for work, or do you do it in your personal life?
A: Spanking is at the center of my personal life. While it is also my job, there is nothing more personal and intimate to me than my private spanking play. Most of my friends come from the spanking community, and almost all my relationships are based around my kink. When I can, I play in my private life on a regular basis.
Q: Have you always been into spanking, or did that interest develop later in life?
A: I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t interested in or fascinated by spanking. My older brother reported that he saw me playing spanking games with my stuffed animals when I was still in a playpen.
Q: How often do you like to be spanked?
A: Pretty much every day, unless I’m not feeling well (either emotionally or physically). I don’t necessarily like to be spanked HARD every day, but at least a moderate bedtime spanking keeps me in good spirits! I don’t *require* spanking that often, though, and don’t really begin to get antsy without it until a week or two has passed. Going without spankings is easier when I’m not around anyone who I’m usually spanked by!
In actuality, it isn’t uncommon for me to be spanked daily when Paul and I are together, although life does sometimes get in the way and prevent that from happening. Most days see me with at least a pinkened bottom, though, and it’s a sign that all is right with the world!
Q: Do you switch?
A: I do! I love giving spankings just as much as I love receiving them at this point. Along with that, I love to scold and lecture, and to make my spankee feel truly naughty and small. Headspace is the most important thing to me in a scene!
Q: Is spanking sexual for you?
A: While once upon a time, I felt strongly that spanking was not sexual for me, I’ve developed to a point where it can be. It clearly isn’t always: I only play this way with a handful of people (hint: the ones that I have sex with) but I’m not embarrassed to admit that I often find spanking extremely arousing. I’ve branched out to shoot some very erotic scenes, and my first book, The Doctor’s Little Girl, is chock full of sexy business.
Q: Are you a little? Do you do ageplay?
A: I identify most strongly as a “middle”– I like ageplaying as a teen, basically. I like this whether or not it’s connected to a spanking scene: just chatting, painting nails, doing hair, going shopping, and messing around with my other middlespace friends is one of my favorite things.
I do also have a little side that I love being able to explore. I used to feel very embarassed about this, but now I’ve fully embraced the fact that sometimes, I just want to feel like a small little girl and get taken care of.
On the flipside of this, I’ve discovered that I love the caregiver space and that I really enjoy taking care of a little or reigning in a wild middle. 🙂
Q: What are your favorite kinds of scenes?
A: This answer seems to change from time to time. Right now, the kinds of scenes that I’m most interested are scenes which have a theme of loving discipline given because the Top cares about the bottom. This holds true for me whether we’re talking about real life discipline, play punishment, or roleplay (all of which I enjoy!) as well as whether I’m Topping or bottoming. I also enjoy a huge variety of other kinds of scenes: scenes with strong D/s elements, wickedly unfair scenes where one is punished in a way that isn’t deserved, bullying type scenes, off-the-wall, wild roleplays which devolve into everyone laughing hysterically…all sorts of things. But at the end of the day, my kink is that discipline more than anything else.
Q: Do you get spanking as a punishment? How does that work if you enjoy spanking so much?
A: I do receive disciplinary spankings. Even though I love to be spanked, punishment spankings are definitely not fun because of the atmosphere in which they are conducted. I hate letting Paul down, but I also need to be reassured that if I mess up, he’ll be there to correct me. Being punished reminds me to behave better in the future and makes me feel less guilty about my mistakes, removing the feedback loop that I can get stuck in where I feel bad about myself for messing something up and set myself up to fail again by not having the proper confidence to try again.
Q: Do you prefer to be spanked by men or women?
A: I like both! It took me a long time to find women in the scene that I connected with this way, but I definitely have. I do tend to associate masculine energy with dominance, but that isn’t an exclusive thing.
Q: Do you prefer to spank men or women?
A: Again, both! There is something very powerful about being a woman in control of a man, and I love, love, love when a scene regresses a strong and resilient man into a vulnerable little boy. I also adore playing with women, though, and tend to have a very easy time reading their body language and understanding what they need from a scene.
Q: Does your family of origin know what you do for a living?
A: My family and I do not talk directly about any of this, although certain family members know different amounts of information about it. I personally just prefer not to talk about it with them, or to talk to much about them with you.
Q: What’s your favorite spanking position?
A: OTK all the way! I like to feel like I’m being held while I’m being spanked, and it’s also physically comfortable for me. Extra points if my hand is held behind my back or a leg lock is involved. This is also my favorite position for giving a spanking. It makes me feel powerful and in control of the situation, and I know from experience how small and helpless it can make the spankee feel.
Q: What’s your favorite implement?
A: Most of the time, probably a good, old fashioned hairbrush. The way in which they hurt is a good way to push me to the place that I want to go from a more severe scene, and the domestic feeling fits with my core fantasies. Belts are a close second. I love using both these implements as well as receiving them.
Recently, I’ve been very focused on domestic scenes, but I do love school punishments: canes, tawses, and paddles and I will always have a strong love/hate relationship! I love yeilding paddles and straps and have finally gotten to the point where I feel confident giving out hard canings, which is delightful.
Q: I saw pictures or video of you doing bondage/ABDL/WAM/gags/other kinds of kink play that aren’t spanking. Are you into that?
A: Spanking is my fetish, but ABDL has become my biggest non-spanking kink interest. I really enjoy playing this way in my personal life, too, although it doesn’t have the same emotional investment attached to it that spanking does for me. I’ve also developed an interest in wedgies and some other kinds of play that I find embarrassing. I’ve gotten exposed to a lot of other kinds of kink activities that I find enjoyable through my work, but they aren’t things I generally seek out.
Vanilla FAQ
Q: How old are you?
A: I’m currently 31. My birthday is July 6th. You’re welcome to help me celebrate with presents!
Q: Where are you from originally?
A: I was born in Upstate New York but raised primarily in New Jersey. I still have family in both states and visit them fairly regularly.
Q: Why were you living in South Dakota?
A: I moved to South Dakota to be with my ex-boyfriend/Dominant. Honestly, this is a time of my life that I don’t want to spend much time talking about, so I ask that you refrain from inquiring about my ex or the end of that relationship and my move back to California. I’ve chosen to leave the posts from that part of my life up, but would rather not engage with them anymore.
Q: What’s your educational background?
A: I received a Bachelor’s of Fine Arts with honors from a private, East Coast university in 2009. I did not graduate high school and instead entered University when I was seventeen.
Q: What are some of your favorite things?
A:
- Favorite film director: David Lynch
- Favorite band: The Mountain Goats
- Favorite animal: Bears
- Favorite food: Japanese style curry
- Favorite video game: Metal Gear Solid III
- Favorite poet: Marie Howe
- Favorite fiction author: Kurt Vonnegut
- Favorite philosopher: Foucault
- Favorite car: Pontiac Trans-Am
- Favorite comic series: The X-Men
- Favorite person: Paul Kennedy ^_^
Q: What other hobbies do you have, besides getting spanked, writing and modeling?
A: I am kind of addicted to working, to be honest, and don’t take enough time for my hobbies, but I like reading, watching movies, reading books about movies, taking baths, learning about hair and makeup, looking at pictures and videos of cute animals, writing my own personal smut that MAYBE you will see someday, hanging out with my friends and poly family, cooking, baking and eating delicious things (especially sushi), going to Disneyland, going to the zoo, going to museums, thrift store shopping and collecting cute things.
Q: Do you have any pets?
A: I have two cats. One is a pale, sort of creamsicle colored ginger and white cat named Senor and the other is a black and white baby cat named Special Agent Dale Cooper the Cat (usually I just call him Cooper or Coop). I used to have a wonderful persian cat named Gizmo for most of the time that I kept this blog, but he passed away last year. He was 16, which is very old for his breed, and had a wonderful life.
Blogging FAQ
Q: When are you going to update your blog again? It has been months!
A: I know it. As I mentioned above, I’m kind of addicted to working, and I don’t leave myself a lot of free time. This has made it hard for me to create time for activities that live in the liminal space between doing required work and not working to instead do self care, such as blogging. I very much would like to continue to blog, and I update my Tumblr very regularly because it is easy to do from my phone and is much quicker than writing a full post on this blog. I cannot promise any kind of schedule regarding when I’ll update my blog again. I will do it again when I have time to!
Q: How long have you been blogging?
A: Since September, 2011.
Q: Will you trade links with me?
A: Sure! As long as your site is somehow spanking, D/s, DD or kink related and doesn’t contain content that I find unsavory (such as a focus on non-consensual spanking). Just email me or leave a comment with your link and I’ll check it out and add you.
Q: Will you feature me on your blog?
A: That depends on a lot of things. Send me an email explaining who you are and what you want to have featured. If it’s something I genuinely like and feel the people who read my blog would like, then I totally will! I’m much more likely to feature others’ work on my other blog: Spanking Wishes.
Q: Can I write about/link to you/reblog your posts/include your photos on my blog or site?
A: Absolutely! Just please credit me and link back to me.
Q: Will you write something for my site or be a guest blogger?
A: Probably. Send me a message explaining what you’d like and I will see if it’s something that sounds like a good fit for me.
Q: Will you test/review my spanking related products or content?
A: I’d love to. I write about things that I find on my own and enjoy, but if you are interested in sending me something (either digitally to view and write about or via postal mail) please contact me about it.
Q: Could you write a post about [this thing I want to know about]?
A: That depends on what it is. Email me about it and I might consider it.
Q: Will you post more explicit content here?
A: No, but you can join my Only Fans to see daily selfies, videos, and photosets that get verrrry explicit!
