Note: This post is really long. I hope you enjoy it anyway. I tend to be a bit verbose, especially when writing recollections. Also, I’m posting this right at the end of Erica Scott’s birthday. Erica is one of my all time favorite people in the scene, and I’ve long admired her writing style, her wit, her perfect butt and, most importantly, her confidence and sense of self. I think the world would be a much better place if it had more women, or people in general, like her in it. She’s the kind of woman that I aspire to be, and I hope she had an awesome birthday and many happy returns <3. 

Ok, on to the story! 

The day after my shoot with Assume the Position, I felt very sore. My butt was visually healing extremely quickly, but it still had a lot of deep ache from all of the larger wooden implements I was spanked with, and I was a bit swollen and very tender. I was lying on my stomach in bed reading in the early evening when I heard someone coming into the apartment to see my boyfriend, R. Within a few seconds I was pleasantly surprised to recognize who was there: it was my favorite local play partner, J. 
J. works with R. and is one of my spanko friends that I met through vanilla channels. While drinking one night, he confided in me that he liked to spank girls and I was more than willing to tell him that I was fond of receiving! Since then, we’ve been getting together for scenes whenever we’re able to. He was out of town for a few months, and since he got back, I’ve had two chances to see him. Both times he spanked me, and both were mild, pleasant hand spankings. 
I’ve always called J. my “nice spanker”: we’ve always had a very fun, light hearted energy and he’s more likely to make me laugh and giggle than cry from a spanking. He’s good at what he does, but we rarely play so hard as to leave me feeling sore the next morning. I truly appreciate this variety: sometimes, I just want to have fun. Plus, he’s charming and sweet and he makes me feel mushy inside. My heart went aflutter just hearing his voice in the hallway.
I sort of scampered out into the living room to greet him. After he finished talking to my boyfriend about some work related materials he was dropping off, he pulled me into a hug and lifted me off my feet. 
“Let’s go into your bedroom, Alex,” he said. “I wanna see what your bottom looks like after your big shoot.” I agreed. There was no reason I couldn’t show him my bottom in the hallway, but I would gladly head alone into a room with him any time. We walked in and he sat down on the edge of my bed very purposefully. I felt my stomach do the little flip-flop that it always does when I realize or confirm that I’m about to be spanked. Sometimes it’s excitement, sometimes it’s nervousness or fear, but most of the time, it’s a mixture of the two. Generally, I feel nothing but happiness when I have the chance to be over J.’s lap: he’s never disciplined me or given me particularly challenging spankings. Today, though, something felt a little different. My bottom was very sore, and he seemed far more determined than usual. In many situations, that would be called a “bad combination”. 
Still standing a bit of a distance from him, I turned around and lifted my skirt, then pulled down my panties. I had told him what implements I was spanked with via email, when I shared my photos with him. He poked the most bruised area of my bottom very firmly, making me give off a sharp “OW!” 

See that bruise? That’s what he was poking!

“Is that from the wrap on the belt?” he asked. I nodded. “What did you think of it?” 
The scene I shot was the first time I’ve played with leather implements in a long time. I’d had a few spankings from Serious_Face with a strap, but that was back in England, over a year ago. The day before was also my first belt spanking. “I liked it a lot!” I told him. “It was sort of… just right. It was an enjoyable mix of sting and a very light thud.”
“Good,” he said. “I’ll have to give you a belting someday. Not today, though.” 
Oh! I thought. Maybe he’s *not* going to spank me today. 
“How does your bottom feel right now, girl?” he asked. He calls me “girl” fairly often. I wouldn’t like it from most people, but the way he says it with his Texas accent just makes me all swoony. 
“It’s very sore,” I said, honestly. J. smiled.
“I’ve never had a chance to spank you when you already had a sore bottom, you know.” Usually, in this situation, I’d jump at the chance to ask for a spanking. I had stopped pretending that I didn’t want to be spanked a long time ago. Yet this time, for some reason, even though I very much wanted to be over his lap, I felt the need to stall and to play the game of trying to get out of it a little bit. Maybe it was because I knew I could get away with it. Maybe it was because I’d been thinking about how to be bratty in roleplaying in case it ever came up for a video. Whatever it was, instead of jumping into my favorite position, I pulled my panties back up and turned around slowly.
“The last time you spanked me I was still a little bit sore from visiting Malignus,” I said hesitantly. 
He shook his head. “Oh come on, Alex. You weren’t really sore anymore, then.” He smiled, and then said in a fun, playful way (not in a domly, “do what I say” kind of voice): “Come here: I’m gonna give you a spanking.” I shivered a little.
“But my bottom really hurts!” I complained, putting my hands back protectively. It sounded strange and alien to hear that sort of protest in my own voice. I felt very slightly embarrassed by it, but J. was smiling and I knew that he enjoyed this sort of play. 
“I know it does. That’s the point.” He beckoned me with one finger. “Come here.” 
I backed away a little more and shook my head “no.” 
“No?” he asked, sounding surprised. “Alex says ‘no’ to a spanking? That’s gotta be one for the books right there.” I made a scrunchy face. “Alright,” he said, standing up, clearly playing the game. “If you don’t want a spanking, then I’ll go say goodbye to your boyfriend and head home.” He started to walk toward the door.
“Wait!” I cried, worried that he might actually leave. He looked at me expectantly. I suddenly realized that he’d backed me into a corner: I now had to ask for my spanking directly. Usually, asking wasn’t much of a deal anymore. Asking to be disciplined was still incredibly hard (I’ve still only managed to do it a few times) and asking for something like a thigh spanking was never going to become particularly easy, but in general, just admitting I wanted to be spanked had gotten to be fairly routine: during my second visit to Malignus’ place, I asked to be spanked at least once every day. Still, there was something that seemed particularly bitter about asking for something that one had just denied wanting. I swallowed my pride as quickly as I could. “Would you please spank me, J.?” I asked in as confident of a voice as I could muster. 
“Oh, you changed your mind?” he teased. I nodded. “Did your bottom stop hurting all the sudden?” I made another scrunchy face. 
“I do want you to spank me,” I reiterated. 
“You’re sure?” he asked, laughing at me a little. I gave a vigorous “yes!” “Alright,” he said, sitting back down on the bed. “Go get me the spoon you brought back from South Dakota.” 
I made this face: 0_0. “WARREN?” I asked with genuine concern in my voice. “Oh, J., you don’t want to spank me with Warren!” For those who are not familiar, Warren is a good sized, weight bearing, sturdy, wooden spatula with a fairly large spanking surface that Malignus insisted I take home with me. It became my sole property after I bled on it, but I tried very hard to get it to remain at Malignus’ house instead of coming home with me. In the end, I lost that battle (as one would expect) and it was sitting in my closet with my other spanking toys. Warren is not a nice implement. It has mostly been used for discipline or for particularly challenging, submission driven spankings: the exact opposite of the kind of spanking I expected to receive from J. 

Warren, like his sister, Jenny, is horrible in every way and will never be loved by anyone. 

“Didn’t I just say I did?” he asked. He was still smiling and bantering. I decided to try one more time:
“But, you don’t understand! Warren is…”
J. cut me off. “One of the three worst things ever. Part of the Holy Trinity of Hurt. I remember, Alex. Go get it for me.” 
“What about a hairbrush? I have hairbrushes you never…” 
“Spoon!” he ordered, his voice suddenly filled with an authority that I’d never heard from him. In many situations, hearing someone say that word as a command would be simply ridiculous. In this one, my whole body felt like it was turned to jelly. The game was over: I’d lost. I was going to get a real spanking now.
J. is not my Dominant. We don’t have any sort of D/s dynamic. Still, the feeling of his sudden authority wasn’t threatening or uncomfortable. I didn’t feel pressured into something I didn’t want. I felt safe and submissive. I felt a tiny touch of the most wonderful feeling in the world: belonging. 
I went to the closet and got down Warren. I handed it to J., and he looked it over for a moment, then slapped it against his hand a few times to feel the weight and speed of it. 
“This does seem mean,” he said, friendliness returning to his voice, but with a serious undertone that did not remove my anticipation. He set it behind him on the bed. “Pull your panties down and get over my lap, now,” he ordered. I did as I was told without hesitation. “Good girl,” he said, praising me for my speed in obeying. Sometimes, it makes me feel awkward when someone other than Malignus or Serious_Face calls me that. Here, nothing could have felt more right. I got cozy in my position while he gently rubbed my bottom. Just his soft touch hurt a little bit. I tried to relax and accept instead of letting myself panic at the realization of just how sore I already was, but nervousness was mounting and I could already feel the prelude to tears building in my throat.
J. started spanking me with his hand. It was a nice warmup; firm, but not too painful. After a minute or so of spanking, he spoke to me: “So, you’re trying to get out of spankings now, huh?” he asked. “Where’d you pick that up?” 
“I dunno” I muttered, half into the blanket that I’d bunched up near my face. J. responded with a very firm smack to the back of my thigh. “HEY!” I cried. “Treaty line!” I was referring to The International Thigh Protection Treaty, a now extremely outdated document that just about everyone seems to disregard.
“Was that too forceful?” he asked. He sounded genuinely concerned that he might be pushing my limits. I thought about it for a moment. I could ask him not to spank my thighs at all. I had that right, and the part of me that would prefer him not to was no small section. Still, I was really enjoying the way this scene was playing out. 
“It’s okay. You can spank my thighs some if you want to.” He signaled his understanding by delivering a few fairly hard smacks there. 
“Where did your brattiness earlier come from, Alex?” he asked again, after a few more moments of firm, fairly slow paced smacks. 
“I guess I was just experimenting a little bit,” I told him. 
“It’s okay to play around sometimes, but you better not make a habit of that.” 
“I won’t!” I promised. “I’d only do it if I thought it was okay!” He kept spanking me for another minute. Suddenly, I felt genuine concern. Was I really being scolded? Had I actually been a bad girl? I turned that idea over in my head for at least another minute, all the while receiving firm but manageable smacks to my already sore bottom. 
“Hey J.?” I asked when I felt like I had a clear grasp on what my worries were. “Are you really mad?” 
“No,” he said. “I don’t want you to go around making backwards progress because it seems fun at the time, but I trust you to know what you’re doing. I’m not angry at you. I’m not trying to discipline you. It’s just a spanking.” There was a pause in the spanking. “Do you want me to stop?” he asked. 
I shook my head “no.” “Please don’t,” I told him.
“Do you not want me to spank you with the spoon? I’m not gonna do anything you don’t want.” 
“Are you okay with me crying today?” I asked. 
“I am. What I’m asking is what you want, though.” I thought for a moment. 
“Okay,” I said, attempting to accept my fate.
“Not good enough,” he scolded. “I’m only going to do it if you want me to. Not just if you’re gonna accept it. If you want it.” 
It was a hard place to be. Part of me did not want to be spanked with Warren for any reason, and certainly did not want to get an “unnecessary” spanking with it.  My instincts for immediate self preservation wanted nothing more than to say that I did not want him to use Warren on me. I knew, however, that was not the most honest part of me. I was frightened by the idea of how much the spanking would hurt, but waiting beyond that were wonderful feelings. Contentment. Stress release. Safety. Pride. I truly wanted to be brought to the place that I knew a spanking with this implement would bring me, and I knew I’d be horribly disappointed in myself if I backed away from it. 
“Please, J.,” I said with as much confidence as I could muster. “I want you to spank me with Warren.” I felt more relaxed as soon as the words were out of my mouth. J. stroked my face for a moment and I basked in the comfort of his touch.
“Okay,” he said firmly. “I’m gonna start now.” I put my face in the pile of blankets at the end of the bed, trying to relax my body into calm acceptance. It occurred to me for a second that maybe Warren was not always all that painful, that maybe it was just particularly well suited to Malignus’ fast, hard, ridiculously stingy spanking style. Maybe it wouldn’t be so…
My train of thought was interrupted by the first spank. Nope! I was wrong! Warren just hurt a lot. Each smack bordered on being intolerable. It couldn’t have been more than a dozen before I was whimpering and crying out. It hurt! Oh holy hell, it hurt. He went relatively slowly and nowhere near as hard as I was used to being spanked with the implement in the past, but each smack still made me feel a white-hot world of pain. Before I knew it, I was freely crying. I started to sob and sniffle. J. put his left hand on my back and rubbed it in a gentle, affectionate circle. “Good girl,” he said. “Whatever you’ve got, just cry it out.” Even though I’d just had a spanking that ended in tears the day before, I found myself deeply appreciative of the chance to cry. I felt safe and warm and emotionally comfortable. My sobs got more and more desperate as the spanking went on. I knew I probably seemed pretty pathetic, but I didn’t care. I stopped fighting it as well as I could and I accepted and appreciated the spanking that I was clearly getting because I was cared about. Still, when J. asked: “Are you ready for me to stop?” my answer was “yes!”
He gave me five more hard swats, then set the spoon down and focused on rubbing my back. “Shhhhhh,” he comforted me. “You’re such a good girl.” After a few minutes, my crying stopped and I climbed up onto his lap and snuggled for a little while, feeling peaceful and content. 

I missed a couple of posts already! I was supposed to update on Saturday, but I was off shooting with Lily Starr Spanking, so I didn’t get one up that day. Then Tuesday brought a visit from a favorite play partner and by the time I was settling in for the evening, I entirely forgot my self-created responsibilities. Tisk, tisk! Certainly, things will be easier once I get more used to my posting schedule (and get extra content scheduled in advance :P). A bit over a week ago, I did my first spanking modeling shoot with Assume The Position Studios. I was extremely excited about it, and a little nervous, since I wasn’t sure what effect the camera would have on the atmosphere of the scene. I met Photodave at a coffee shop near the studio where we’d be shooting where I consumed a coke and a strawberry cupcake (I hadn’t eaten anything yet that day, and I find that I respond better to spankings when I have sugar in my system. Or maybe it’s just a positive emotional connection. Either way, it made me happy!) We walked over to the studio after chatting a bit and going over paperwork and then started going through my wardrobe. We hadn’t created any scenes in advance: it hadn’t really occurred to me that I should have been thinking about that. We ended up selecting a pair of panties and some knee socks for a few cute, glamourous, pre-spanking photos.

After that, I changed into a school girl dress and we got ready to do the scene. It’s fortunate for me that the appropriate way for me to be acting for the character I was meant to portray was nervous and unsure: since it was my first video, it took me a little bit to get “warmed up,” especially since a lot of the ways that I need to behave for a spanking video are different than the way that I’d act if I was just playing for my own purposes. The major thing is hiding my enthusiasm–– there have only been a few times in my life when I *haven’t* wanted a spanking, so playing a reluctant character requires quite a bit of acting on my part. What did not require acting, though, were my cries and squeals: the scene begins with me OTK (my favorite place to be!) and right away, the spanking was very firm and it certainly hurt. I don’t want to give away all the details (since I would, ideally, like you to buy the videos :P) but we moved through a considerable amount of implements: a hairbrush which met it’s untimely demise on my bottom, many beautiful, painful paddles from Kitty’s Exotic Paddles, the belt, a cane, a large and intimidating looking strap and finally a heavy wooden “ruler” that was very, very mean! During the final segment of the video I reached the point of sobbing: this is not particularly uncommon for me in any intense spanking situation with a “serious” atmosphere (even though it was a roleplay). My tears are never a sign of true distress, and I love sharing them. I was extremely excited that two photos (one posted by Dave and one by me) from this scene made Kinky and Popular on fetlife. 

I was especially pleased that the photo depicting my tears did: the fact that I cry frequently is still an area where I expect (or fear) that I will receive judgement, so it was really positive for me to be able to share that and get such a good response. I look forward to shooting with Assume The Position Studios again in the future: I felt extremely at-ease when on set, and the spanking was blissfully painful. It left me sore for several days, especially on my sit-spot. Even though the spanking didn’t carry any emotional significance for me (besides the pleasure of being my first spanking modeling shoot) I was left in a relaxed and cheerful mood for a while. It seems that while I didn’t have a *bad* attitude before, it was adjusted to be even more pleasant by participating in my favorite activity. 

Additionally, after the shoot we went to eat at a Ramen shop and it was for the win. Delicious food eaten while sitting gingerly is always a good thing! 

I’ll be posting again later “today” since it is already Midnight. Keep your eyes peeled! 

I started regular, vanilla modeling when I was in my junior year of college. It began with a gig that a lot of people wouldn’t have gone for, but which I totally adored: being photographed walking around Manhattan topless. For $25.00/hour. In February. In between shots, I put my coat back on, so I didn’t die of hypothermia, and New York State has a law saying that anywhere that a man can appear topless, a woman can as well, so I didn’t get arrested, either. What I did get were pretty cool photos, bragging rights and a whopping $75.00. For someone making minimum wage by shelving books in the school library, that was a big influx of cash. I started modeling whenever I could and worked my way up the ladder: I got better at it, worked with better photographers and developed a bit of a name for myself.

The oldest surviving photo of me as a model. Hot, right? 

I won’t say it never occurred to me to do spanking modeling: it did, from the very start of my vanilla modeling work. The idea was, however, incredibly unappealing. I wasn’t part of the community yet in any real way: I was in a disciplinary spanking relationship with Serious_Face, and I had told my five closest friends about either my activities or my interest therein. On campus, it was the general opinion that I was probably kinky, but to me, saying something so general as that was far less personal than saying that I was into spanking. I still had trouble saying or hearing the word aloud sometimes. No photos existed of my bottom after a spanking, and it seemed like the most logical thing to keep it this way. 

This is the first spanking related photo of me ever taken. It’s from about five months ago, after a spanking given to me by my play partner, J.

Fast forward to the present day: an awful lot has changed. My attitude towards spanking has become entirely different. Instead of feeling embarrassed or ashamed to be a spanko, even in likeminded company, I celebrate it whenever possible in a variety of ways. I’m proud of my bruises and my tears. What’s most important, perhaps, is that I feel that I *get* something out of sharing my experiences with other spankos. Posting spanking related photos and getting a positive response is a wonderful reaffirmation for me: this is the very core of who I am. This is something I’ve struggled with for nearly my entire life. People get it. They don’t judge me. They think I’m awesome for what I do.

When I had some difficulties in the vanilla modeling world, I started to think about spanking modeling as an option for the first time. I’d gotten nearly obsessed with showing off post-spanking photos and telling stories of awesome scenes to my friends. I was flashing likeminded strangers my bruises at munches. I felt good about every aspect of my spanko life, and I wanted to share it wherever it was appropriate. Plus, I needed money. Money always helps. 

So, I scheduled my first three shoots: I shot with Assume The Position Studios on Monday, will be shooting with Lily Starr Spanking this weekend and will be shooting with a well known pay-site in about two weeks time (I’m not sure if I’m allowed to publicly announce where before the shoot, so I chose to err on the side of caution). A couple other production companies have contacted me about shooting with them, too, and I’m trying to hammer out details there. 

I hate to make a shameless plug, but if you’re looking for lovely models who can take one hell of a spanking, you know how to get ahold of me. 😉

To everyone else, I hope you look forward to seeing more content from me in the future, because there’ll be plenty! 

Hello, readers! My name is Alex. Welcome to my adventures in Spankingland! I’m a twenty-four year old girl living in Los Angeles. I’m a college graduate, a polyamorist, an atheist, a professional model, an obsessive domestic, a hopeless academic and a cat person. More relevantly, I’m a die-hard spanko. Some of my very first memories involve thinking about spanking, and I took my first trip across a lap just a month and two days after my 18th birthday. Having met my first Top in vanilla society, I remained fairly isolated from the rest of Spankingland for nearly five years. In the fall of 2010, a photographer I had worked with and I got close enough for me to tell him that I was “a little kinky” and he pointed me in the direction of I got drunk one night, created an account and moved through the process of lurking, to occasionally posting and then, eventually, blossoming into a full-fledged member of the online community. 

I’ve grown and changed an incredible amount in the past nine months that I’ve been exploring Spankingland, and I’ve already had my fair share of remarkable adventures. I’ve gone to all sorts of kinky events in Los Angeles, forged deep and honest friendships with spankos from all around the world and gotten some amazing bruises. I’ve also come to terms with myself as both a strong, powerful woman and a submissive: I’ve discovered that these things are by no means contradictory and instead feed each other in a seemingly endless cycle of growth, empowerment and happiness. My D/s dynamic is now one of my primary relationships and one of the most enjoyable ones I’ve ever had, of any flavor. 

There are so many things out there for me to explore still: I’ve never been to a spanking party, I haven’t met many of the wonderful friends I’ve made online and there are tons of implements and spanking atmospheres that I haven’t experienced yet. I recently did my first shoot as a spanking model, and I’m excited by all the opportunities that lie in that direction. My spanko life is only getting better and more exciting as I open up to new experiences.

I hope you take the time to keep up with this blog. I’m excited by the prospect of sharing my thoughts and experiences with the blogosphere and hopefully making some new connections. It is my intention to update each Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, so be sure to check back regularly. Welcome to my Adventures in Spankingland!

Oh, Hai!


Los Angeles, California, United States

First and foremost, I’m a girl who loves being spanked. It’s at the very center of my being. I’m also a professional spanking model, which means I get to do what I love for my job. I’m twenty six years old, and currently located in Los Angeles when I’m not traveling around on my adventures. My vanilla interests include poetry, film history, academia, Pokemon, indie music, baby animals, baking and cooking, collecting vintage clothes and lots of cuddling.

Follow Me


Please feel free to email me at
with questions, comments or conversations! I try to respond to everyone who writes to me, and I vastly appreciate feedback!

Never Miss A Post!

Enter your email address below to subscribe to my blog and receive an email of every post!

More of Alex

Sex Talk Tuesday

SexTalkTuesday Moderator Badge Blue