Hi guys!
This post comes late in the day as I haven’t been feeling well today. I had horrible insomnia last night, then did too much day sleeping today, then woke up with a migraine. Definitely not the best. This post may be less coherent than my usual stuff because of this. Be warned.
But, I wanted to make sure I got to participate in Love Our Lurker’s Day! I have only done this once, since remembering a date and making a deadline aren’t entirely my blogging strong suits. >_<
But, I wanted to remember to do it this year. I wanted to thank all of you who read my blog, since I see how many of you there are. I want to thank you guys for sticking with me as my posting has become more sporadic, even though I regularly promise that it’s going to become regular again. I want to thank those of you who comment for making me smile, and encourage everyone else to consider doing so. I know that it’s hard: I have to tell myself to comment on the blogs that I read, since I don’t instinctively do it. I think that there isn’t a reason to comment unless I have something enlightening to say. But when I think with my writer side of my brain instead of my reader side, I remember that a comment that just says “I read this and enjoyed it!” makes me happy. So, when you’re reading, please keep that in mind!
From time to time, I get emails from people who are de-lurking for the very first time: it’s their first direct contact with a spanko ever. I can’t tell you how incredibly precious these are to me. It usually moves me to tears, because I remember feeling ashamed, afraid and alone because of my lifelong interest in spanking. It makes me feel so wonderful when people feel comfortable opening up about this side of themselves to me, and I’m always so excited to help introduce them to the wonderful world that is Spankingland.
I also want to thank the people who helped inspire me to start blogging: Erica Scott, Sophie (who is now retired from blogging but still a wonderful and cherished friend) and Pandora Blake. Their wonderful writing, openness to share and delightful insights into the world of spanking helped me greatly in my quest for self understanding and made me feel alright about opening myself up to the world in a similar way.
Anyway, if you’re feeling up to it, please leave a comment here! If you’ve never commented, introduce yourself and let’s start a conversation! I love talking to people, sharing ideas and getting to know them. Even if you have commented before, reminding me that you’re still here will bring a huge smile to my face.
Well, today is LOL Day. It’s the 7th annual, and it’s my second.
For those of you who don’t know, LOL day is Love Our Lurkers day. It’s a spanking bloggers’ holiday focused around bloggers appreciating their readers and readers coming out of their shells and “de-lurking”: going ahead and hitting the “comment” button and letting us know a little bit about yourselves, why you enjoy reading et cetera.
I want to take a quick moment of your time to talk about reaching out.
For the first five years that I was getting spanked, I didn’t reach out to anyone besides my own, personal community. Having met SF and his wife in the vanilla world, and having one other vanilla friend come out to me as a spanko, I felt that I was “all set.” I had a wonderful Top, a strong, female bottom as a role model and a peer with whom to commiserate. I knew that there were other people out there who were into spanking. I read a few blogs and looked at videos from time to time, so I knew I wasn’t all alone in the world anymore. But the idea that these people could become a significant portion of my life never crossed my mind. I hid behind the computer screen, shy and afraid. When I first joined Fetlife, I would literally shake with nervousness every time that I posted to a group or commented on a photo. I worried that I would look stupid, or that my take on spanking was somehow wrong. I even tried to be bratty because that seemed to be the way that the girls online were connecting, even though that’s really not me. (Sarcastic? Yes. Ridiculous? Absolutely. Bratty? Very rarely, and only when it’s clever.)
Eventually, though, I found my niche. I gained confidence. I made friends. I began to explode out all over the internet, and then all over the real world. My life is now deeply intertwined with the spanking world, and I love it that way. I’m by no means suggesting that others get as involved as I did. That’s not for everyone. But taking that first step and not being afraid to reach out can be a turning point.
I’m very thankful for the people who helped me to make the transition from a lurker to a member of our community. My friend Al, who suggested that I sign up for Fetlife and who took me to my first munch, PrincessToy who was my first peer in “the scene,” the people on Fetlife who accepted me into their community, the first friend who encouraged me to reach out and build real relationships and, of course, Malignus, who, among countless other things, taught me how to safely navigate the scene, to make a place for myself there, and to fully accept and celebrate who and what I am.
So. Much. Love. ♥
It’s your turn, now! Go ahead and comment! Make my day. 🙂
Oh, Hai!
Alex
Los Angeles, California, United States
First and foremost, I’m a girl who loves being spanked. It’s at the very center of my being. I’m also a professional spanking model, which means I get to do what I love for my job. I’m twenty six years old, and currently located in Los Angeles when I’m not traveling around on my adventures. My vanilla interests include poetry, film history, academia, Pokemon, indie music, baby animals, baking and cooking, collecting vintage clothes and lots of cuddling.
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