LOL 7: Reaching Out

Well, today is LOL Day. It’s the 7th annual, and it’s my second.

For those of you who don’t know, LOL day is Love Our Lurkers day. It’s a spanking bloggers’ holiday focused around bloggers appreciating their readers and readers coming out of their shells and “de-lurking”: going ahead and hitting the “comment” button and letting us know a little bit about yourselves, why you enjoy reading et cetera.

I want to take a quick moment of your time to talk about reaching out.
For the first five years that I was getting spanked, I didn’t reach out to anyone besides my own, personal community. Having met SF and his wife in the vanilla world, and having one other vanilla friend come out to me as a spanko, I felt that I was “all set.” I had a wonderful Top, a strong, female bottom as a role model and a peer with whom to commiserate. I knew that there were other people out there who were into spanking. I read a few blogs and looked at videos from time to time, so I knew I wasn’t all alone in the world anymore. But the idea that these people could become a significant portion of my life never crossed my mind. I hid behind the computer screen, shy and afraid. When I first joined Fetlife, I would literally shake with nervousness every time that I posted to a group or commented on a photo. I worried that I would look stupid, or that my take on spanking was somehow wrong. I even tried to be bratty because that seemed to be the way that the girls online were connecting, even though that’s really not me. (Sarcastic? Yes. Ridiculous? Absolutely. Bratty? Very rarely, and only when it’s clever.)
Eventually, though, I found my niche. I gained confidence. I made friends. I began to explode out all over the internet, and then all over the real world. My life is now deeply intertwined with the spanking world, and I love it that way. I’m by no means suggesting that others get as involved as I did. That’s not for everyone. But taking that first step and not being afraid to reach out can be a turning point.

I’m very thankful for the people who helped me to make the transition from a lurker to a member of our community. My friend Al, who suggested that I sign up for Fetlife and who took me to my first munch, PrincessToy who was my first peer in “the scene,” the people on Fetlife who accepted me into their community, the first friend who encouraged me to reach out and build real relationships and, of course, Malignus, who, among countless other things, taught me how to safely navigate the scene, to make a place for myself there, and to fully accept and celebrate who and what I am.
So. Much. Love. ♥

It’s your turn, now! Go ahead and comment! Make my day. 🙂