Blogging while on Vacation didn’t work out so well. This is largely because of two things: first of all, I was working quite a bit. I did more shoots in a week than I’ve ever done, and that was after I had to cancel one shoot due to illness resulting from exhaustion and another shoot cancelled on me. The second reason is because I was living in the moment as much as I possibly could: I tried to spend as much time as possible paying attention to the people I was with and the places that I was instead of being online or keeping my mind of what was going on in South Dakota. This was kind of hard for me, because I’m scatter brained and I missed my home a lot, but it ultimately was very rewarding. So I’ll now tell all the stories that I can remember from the past ten days and then wrap up with what I learned about how to be a traveling model. Onward!
One thing which Maddycake and I love doing is going to stores and trying on cute clothes. It’s one of the most girly things that I do. We go in and we shop for a long time, then we try a bunch of stuff on in different sizes and then we take photos of ourselves in the fitting rooms and in the end I almost never buy anything. It isn’t that I don’t INTEND to buy something- it’s just that nothing ever has the right combination of fitting my shape and being inexpensive.
So, we went to Hustler Hollywood and did that one of the first nights I was there.
|This didn’t fit, but it looked pretty good while not fitting!|
I found some pretty amazing booty shorts there, which were very nearly made for me:
I also tried on something that I used to be very opposed to, just for kicks:
|(It’s not the bird necklace: that’s mine)|
I have to admit: it’s a very pretty piece of neckwear. Playing dress up never stops being fun.
The next day, Maddy and I spent a while tracking down ingredients for some amazing cupcakes that we made and then making said cupcakes. They were strawberry margarita flavored, with vanilla cake with lime zest and strawberry frosting with lime juice and vest, topped with homemade pink sugar and strawberry and lime slices. They were so much epic win!
|Maddy and a new friend, Cassidy, did a lot of the work|
We had time to take some photos of my butt (because what day is complete without!?)
Then we got ready and went to a party thrown by the TNG group which I started when I lived here and handed off to Maddy when I moved. There was so much amazing food, people who I’ve missed very much, and me successfully drinking without breaking anything. MaskofNormality made the absolute best carne asada that I’ve ever eaten. It was so good that I seriously dreamed about it. Then again, everything MoN does is pretty amazing. 🙂
I spent most of the next day shooting with Omar, an old friend and the photographer who I’ve worked with the most times. We had kind of a rough patch in terms of our friendship and collaboration when I moved away, but we smoothed things out and had an amazing time. We went to one of his secret shooting spots and took some amazing outdoor stuff, then we went and had pancakes (they were awesome) and then went back to Siq’s place and took bedroom photos while Maddy got to learn about how shoots often go, since she’s just started modeling.
I’ll eventually be posting photos from that set once I get them back. 🙂
The next day, I shot with Clare Fonda. It was one of my highest profile shoots to date, and very, very exciting. Clare and her camera man were INCREDIBLY nice and easy to be around. They were fun and we laughed a lot during the shoot (when we were off camera of course!) and we did some awesome scenes that I look forward to sharing with you when they are released. Clare has about twelve pets and they’re all pretty adorable.
The shoot went well and I had a lot of fun. I’m looking forward to working with them again in the future. I don’t want to give away too many spoilers, but I will say that I got to wear monkey pajamas in one scene and my new plaid kilt style skirt in another and that was full of win.
That’s all for today! The story will continue tomorrow!
Sex is pretty much the one topic that I don’t post about. Why not? Because I don’t mix spanking and sex, and I feel like a lame-o posting about something that doesn’t have anything to do with the purpose of this blog. I know a few people who successfully write off-topic posts that are very enjoyable, but I don’t know that I’ve reached the point where I’m good enough to pull that off.
Still, sex has made itself relevant to the conversation recently. I’ll explain how in a moment. First, some background.
*I’m polyamorous. All my relationships are open.
*I’m a pansexual. A person’s genital configuration and gender identity aren’t a factor in whether or not I am attracted to them. Somehow, this does not make it easier for me to get laid in Sioux Falls, South Dakota.
*My boyfriend/Dominant/primary Top/HoH/favorite person, Malignus, is an asexual. This means that he is not sexually attracted to anyone. We’re romantically involved. We don’t have sex with each other. We don’t talk about sex. I’m pretty sure he’s never seen me entirely naked (except in photos on the internetz). Because of my strict wiring against mixing sex and spanking, this makes for the ideal relationship of the sort that we have.
*I don’t want to have sex with Malignus. At all. Ever. The fact that we have no sexual interest in one and other is a point of huge comfort for both of us. I get really grossed out when people imply that we’re doing it.
*I am in two other romantic relationships, both with sexual components. My boyfriend is on the West Coast and my girlfriend is on the East Coast. I have not seen either since I left California.
*Compared to other people interested in sex, I have a pretty low sex drive. Compared to my spank drive, I have like, no sex drive. I’d be pretty happy with having sex once every week or two.
*I have not had sex with another person in four months.
Four months got to be a bit much for me, and sex got to be on my brain again. I decided to start looking into finding a sexual partner. This has proved extremely challenging.
Here’s the thing: I want to date outside of the BDSM community here, for two reasons. First of all, I’m really lame and vanilla in bed. I do not like to have sex that hurts, even a little bit. If someone smacks my ass during sex, well, they’ve ruined it. Any accouterments of “the scene” (even dumb, sex store versions of them) just don’t belong with sex for me. Sorrryyyyyy! The second reason is drama. The scene here is my primary social circle. Sex between friends can lead to drama. It is my goal to avoid that at all costs.
Due to the second reason that I’ve listed, I don’t want to date people that I work with. Unfortunately, that leaves me with no other people that I know. So, I did what I did every time I’ve moved to a new city: I started a page on okcupid. In New York and Los Angeles, that quickly produced matches in the 90 percent range with interesting, educated people. I uploaded a quick couple of cell phone photos and started to fill out my page.
|See the watermark? I left that there to prove I’m really on a dating site!|
My page here was kind of like my fetlife profile, only without mention of spanking and way more pretentious/geeky. I’m sure you’re wondering how both those things are possible. I’m not linking to my vanilla identity (even if it doesn’t include my real name at all) here, so you’ll have to use your imaginations. I then answered 75 of the “match questions” in hopes of making the things that are important to me clear.
The site didn’t fail to disappoint me: within 20 minutes of completing this, I got a message from a guy who seemed to be on the opposite side of the fence from me on every issue possible, including things like religion, politics, evolution and birth control. The message simply read “your sexy.” I’ve yet to find any person on there who seems to share any of my actual interests, besides an interest in wanting to have genital contact with another person. How hard is it to find someone who likes Foucault, Terrance Malick, The Mountain Goats, homemade bread or pandas?! I’m not saying I want them all, just one!
The extreme lack of eligible mates in the vanilla dating pool leads me to the main problem, and the reason that I brought the s-word up in the first place. How the hell am I going to find a person outside of the scene who is going to be comfortable with my lifestyle? There’s no way that I can hide it from them. On any given day, I’ve got bruises on my bottom. Furthermore, why would I want to be involved with someone with whom I cannot share this very base part of me? The problem is with finding someone who is willing to accept what I do without wanting to do it with me.
I guess, at the end of the day, I can’t look too hard. My current plan is to consider all my options and not limit myself so much, and be less afraid and more open about who I am with people that I meet. The idea of being more “out” has been pretty appealing to me once I got past the point where I was ashamed of myself as a spanko.
I know that a lot of people don’t have the same sort of arrangement as I do in terms of separating sexual partners and spanking partners, but still: how has dating worked for you, as a spanko? Did your current partner know about your spanko-nature when they got involved with you? How did you bring it up?
Well, talking about sex was awkward. I blushed. The best thing to do when things are awkward is to show the internet your boobs, right?
Today’s Valentine’s day. Both Malignus and I have to work, but we’ll be doing something special earlier in the day. It will probably involve A) romance and B) spanking. Win-win. Expect a more spanking-heavy post tomorrow. 😀