Cleverness

Well, I’m back to writing about happy spanking related things! Yay!
The first thing on my list of things that I need to tell you about is a very big deal indeed: my first national spanking party!

I wasn’t originally planning to go to the Texas All State Spanking Party. I hadn’t been to a big party before, and I figured that money would be too tight, so I was going to look past it with a sigh like I had previously done with all parties until Heather told me that she was going to be going to attending and invited Malignus and I to come as well. I looked into how much plane tickets would cost and was surprised that I actually had enough money to afford them. Heather and her boyfriend, Taylor, shared a room with Malignus and I, and the party fees and hotel rooms were really well priced. So, at close to the last minute, we made our plans to go. I booked a few shoots to help with the costs and Malignus and I made plans to have a booth at the vendor fair for the Malex Modeling Agency. That’s our new business that we’ve been working furiously on for a while now: a spanking modeling agency that works with spanking video producers and spanking models. We planned to go public with this at the TASSP vendor fair and spent lots of time getting our promotional materials in order. You’ll hear lots more about the agency later on.

We were flying out of Omaha, so the plan for getting to the party involved waking up at midnight to leave Sioux Falls at 1 AM to get to Omaha by 4 AM to make our flight, and it put us in Dallas around 8 AM on Friday. This meant that I was supposed to go to bed as soon as I got home from work, but I couldn’t sleep a wink. I was just too excited about the party. I packed and did chores around the house and cleaned out my car in order to kill time, but when I woke Malignus up around 9 PM, he insisted that I force myself to sleep. I don’t know if I ever actually did drop off. I planned to sleep during his turn driving to the airport. I didn’t really sleep then, either. On the plane, I had to share a seat with strangers who kept rubbing up against me in ways that woke me up, so I didn’t really get any rest there, either. I was somehow still bouncy and full of energy when I was picked up at the airport by a couple of friends.

We drove to the hotel, but stopped on the way to eat breakfast at a diner. I was very surprised that you can apparently smoke indoors in some parts of Texas. I don’t usually smoke, but I had fun doing that. Whee!

We got to the hotel, dropped our stuff off at our friends’ room (since we couldn’t check in for a few more hours and didn’t want to until we met up with Heather anyway) and then went to register. I was very nervous at this point, because I was about to meet lots of people who I’d never met before all at once. As soon as I opened up the door to the registration suite, though, I was greeted by Pandora Blake, who shouted “ALEX!” and hugged me. I was very relieved to run into her right away, since we’ve been friends online for a while now. We read each others blogs and tweet back and forth and were excited about meeting each other, and just seeing her really put me at ease. We got all checked in and then headed back to our friends’ room for a much needed nap.

We got up for our nap in time for me to meet up with Heather and give her a huge hug. I’ve really missed having her around, and we got to reconnect and spend lots of time together during TASSP. We got checked into our room and I proceeded to throw my things all over the floor in search of school girl clothing, because it was time for Sarah Gregory’s Naughty School Girl Party. First, I asked Malignus to give me a warmup spanking, because I hadn’t been spanked for a few days leading up to the party and didn’t want to be spanked cold during the event! He gladly did this, although his idea of a warmup was very hard and fast. Still, I felt both warm and loved when he finished, and I was ready for the party. This event was lots of fun: female bottoms dressed up in their school day best and were taught lessons by a host of tops who were dressed as priests and nuns. I would have preferred for them to be dressed in suits (more like the way Dana Kane looked when we were shooting for Sternwood Academy) because I’m squicked by religious figures. It’s mostly because of my philsophical views, but I don’t fetishize them at all, and I’m just not at ease around them. That said, I let that go and focused on being bratty with Heather, Christy Cutie and a new friend I’d just met named Zoe. First, we had to line up to have our skirts measured by Dana Spect. The skirt I was wearing was a real school skirt, and it came down nearly to my knees, unlike many of the sexy skirts other girls had on. After holding a ruler up to me, Dana lead me to the front of the room and announced that I was an example of a good girl and that my skirt was what the other girls should aim to look like. I was beaming with pride. Praised in front of everyone? Yes please!

I did quickly realize that being a goody-goody-Hermione-Granger type wasn’t going to get me very much attention with everyone else throwing pieces of paper, launching darts and sneaking beer into the classroom, though, so I figured I had to do something at least a little naughty at a naughty school girl party. I had a package of Fun Dip in my purse which Malignus had won for me the last time we’d gone to the arcade together, so we started eating that very obviously while we were supposed to be learning. Heather, Zoe and I were quickly pulled aside and given OTK spankings and warned not to eat any more candy in class. It was the first time I’ve ever been spanked in front of a live audience before, since a group of other guests were gathered in the back of the room watching the proceedings. I kept myself in the “performer” part of my brain that I use when doing videos and made sure to kick and squirm! It was lots of fun.
Heather and I had to scoot out of the event before it ended because Heather hadn’t eaten and we needed to hunt down some food before she went to her shoot with Amateur Spankings, so we missed having the entire “school” lined up to be spanked, but we had tons of fun anyway.

I have to go for now, but stories shall continue in the next post, and there will be pictures that time, I promise!

I’ve often daydreamed about a world where spankos took up enough of the market that pervertables marketed themselves towards us. Imagine a world where you could read the blurb on the back of the a hairbrush and have it point out that besides having high quality bristles for hair brushing, the spanking surface on the back is made of durable wood for an excellent combination of sting and thud.

Alas, this isn’t the case. No one seems to want to admit why, exactly, people prefer wooden spoons to the plastics and silicone coated one (I’m not even ALLOWED to use wooden spoons in the kitchen!) and the world seems to think that there are people who wash themselves with brushes in the shower (weird).

There is, however, some marketing being done to spanko bottoms in a very tricky way. The people who make pervertables are trying to sell more by subtly convincing us that they won’t be so bad. The first time I noticed this trend was when I saw a particular bathbrush show up on several people’s fetlife profiles. I recently purchased this for five dollars at Walmart:

The sticker reads “Soft and Cruelty Free!”

No. Incorrect. I haven’t been hit with it yet, but I know for a fact that bathbrushes are neither of those things. I don’t think someone could make a bathbrush spanking nice if they tried.

I noticed the next one in a local cooking store and made a very scrunchy face indeed at the false advertising:


The brand on this wooden turner is “SoftWorks.” This doesn’t even make sense. It doesn’t have a soft and cushy handle. It isn’t meant to be used on something soft. It’s wood, for the love of all that is reasonable! Wood isn’t soft. I suppose wood chips could be soft, the kind one would use to line a rabbit hutch or something, but that’s the only time that wood can ever be described as anything other than hard.

Finally, my spanko-sister, PeachyKeane, sent me this as part of a care package:


I understand that this is a plastic hairbrush, but that doesn’t make it ouchless. If I’ve learned one thing in my spankolife, it’s that anything with a handle can be used for spanking and anything that can be used for spanking can be made to hurt. Even things that technically can’t be used for spanking (like a dishtowel) can be made to hurt. Don’t fall for this trap. I bet it can still be ouchful.

It’s a pretty clever method of increasing sales, though. A female bottom in the market for a brush for her hair could very well want to pick one that can’t also be used on her poor, innocent bottom. In the past, I’ve avoided this by choosing pink and girly hairbrushes that Tops wouldn’t want to touch. I’ve heard that other girls enjoy those entirely round brushes that have no spanking surface at all. Now that I’ve purchased four bathbrushes, when I put them all next to each other, the one that tells me it’s cruelty free DOES seem a little less terrifying. I’m not buying the “soft” wood, though. Screw you, wooden spoons. I’ve had more than enough of you recently! (Does this attitude come from a recent experience that has left me with residual soreness? Why yes it does.)

Shortly after my sjamboking, ellee and YoggSothoth (who I shall now refer to as YS to save time on typing) got up and I started hanging out with them more. ellee and I were going to start coloring, something which we’d been looking forward to for a long time, when we heard that people were going outdoors to do outside spankings. This sounded like something that we wanted to participate in, so we found our shoes and jackets. Unfortunately, I had previously been wearing jeans. I packed them because I figured that jeans are a good thing to wear out in the woods. I forgot one key detail: this was a SPANKING party. (See also: my feelings on pants.) Because of this, I had decided that I was only going to wear panties on the lower half of my body for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, it’s winter and it was cold outside, so I had to put something on, so I settled for my Bambi fuzzypants. I also had the difficulty of having a long coat: Malignus says it makes me look like a crazy lady, but I argue that it’s warm and when you don’t wear pants, you need all the extra warmth you can get! When I reached the log which all the other bottoms were bent over (and some were already getting spanked!) I realized that I would have to leave my coat off.

Getting spanked while over a log in the woods was my first real interaction with a couple of the tops who were there. The swats hurt a little bit, even over my pants, especially because it was cold and the tops were using paddles and straps and such things, but mostly, my reaction was to laugh, because it was super fun to be getting spanked in a row with a bunch of other girls in the middle of the woods. I was also right next to ellee, and we were holding hands some of the time. Fun!

At some point while this was happening, Malignus started messing around with a little sapling that was growing in the ground near the fallen tree we were all bent over. He uprooted it (it still had a pretty complete root system) and directed me back into position. I was seriously cracking up about the idea of getting spanked with an entire tree. I was surprised when he hit me: I figured it was going to be a light and playful swat. I guess “light and playful” and “entire tree” don’t really go together. (Arguably, “light and playful” and “Malignus hitting Alex” don’t really go together most of the time, either.) Anyway, it hurt a lot. It was the thuddiest thing I’ve ever been hit with, which is really not surprising. He gave me four or five hard strokes while the other girls looked on in a combination of horror and amusement. I still have a bruise from that tree.


After beating me with an entire tree, he pulled a fairly thick and intimidating looking switch and gave me about ten strokes with that. The fact that I had my only switching experience on a cold bottom and thighs in the middle of the woods after being hit with a tree doesn’t really allow me to give a fair and balanced opinion of it, but I did get over some of my terror regarding getting longer switchings in the future. I did scream my head off into the woods, though.  He then gave another girl three strokes with it (which she later described as the most painful thing she had experienced in her life that far!) and then gave Megan a few. Megan might have even less of a sense of self preservation than I do: she opted to pull her jeans down to get the switch. 0_0

We then went back up to the house and ellee and I got to work on our coloring. This was interrupted by YS giving ellee a strapping, and later, by him doing the same to me for the first time. Getting spanked by him was pretty exciting. It’s rare that I meet someone whose Dominance I immediately want to respect, but I felt that way about YS. I felt like calling him “Sir” almost immediately, making him only the fourth person I’ve habitually used an honorific with, ever. When I got in position for him to spank me, he told me to ask for it (I’d just seen the way that ellee had done this). In most circumstances, when someone other than Malignus gives me an order (outside of things we’d discussed for a scene) I get all scrunchy faced. I might even respond with “don’t you fucking tell me what to goddamn do!” But when YS told me to ask for my spanking, I didn’t even hesitate before saying “Please spank me, Sir.” It’s rare but lovely to find someone whose Dominance inspires me, and it made playing with him very enjoyable. He spanked me quite hard with a London Tanners’ strap. It was lovely.

Later, Malignus took a nap, YS went off to smoke a cigar with another Top and ellee and I were left unsupervised with our coloring. As I previously mentioned, ellee is a doctor. One of the things that she brought with her was her prescription pad. Ever since I moved from Los Angeles, I’ve wanted a pet. Specifically, I want a bunny. I wanted a cat, but I knew that would never happen, so a bunny seemed like the next best thing. I was totally in love with Ami’s bunny, Tomato, until it died.

RIP Tomato 🙁

I happened to know that ellee had amazingly adorable bunnies that were full of love and cuddles, and that one of them licked her face and cuddled her and stuff. We’d been endeavoring to get me a bunny for a long time, and we’d come up with what seemed like a perfect plan. ellee would write me a prescription for one. She got out her prescription paper and filled it out so that it was super official. She prescribed me one mini-rex bunny rabbit (live) for cuddling, with one refill (so I could have two! Bunnies are best in pairs). She signed and dated it and everything.

Earlier in the day, ellee had her doctor stuff out and was looking at Malignus’ eye (which was adorable, because she kept jumping up and down with excitement about it) and had also tested some of my reflexes and found that some were hypersensitive. When Malignus got up from his nap and ellee and I presented him with the prescription, she started with this information. She said a few serious doctor things, and then said something about scientific accuracy and peer review. Then Malignus looked at what the prescription was for and got immediately grumpy. ellee and I were pretty much rolling around on the ground laughing. We couldn’t let it go and kept saying things about how I was going to get a bunny and it was going to cuddle and love me, and finally, Malignus grabbed ellee by the arm and lead her towards the bedroom. While he was arranging things on the bed so that he could give her a spanking, she hid in the closet. It was a mini, half sized closet, so Malignus didn’t even think to look there when he turned around and discovered that she wasn’t there. He advanced toward me with “the look” on his face and demanded that I tell him where she was, but all I could squeak out was “she’s not here!” He turned to go look for her upstairs, but ellee was laughing too hard in the closet and gave herself away (which is good, because I would have eventually had to tell on her, and that would have been sad!)

Artistic rendering of ellee hiding from Malignus in the closet

Anyway, he found her, pulled her over his lap and spanked her very thoroughly, until she was saying she was sorry and and apologizing for misusing her medical privileges and I’m not sure what else. For a second, it might have seemed that I had gotten off free, but Malignus informed me that he wanted to wait until I had healed from my earlier spankings (including the sjamboking, the tree-ing and switching) before he gave me mine. I was very 0_0 at that news.

I’m not even halfway through telling the stories of the first full day at the cabin! I haven’t even gotten to 4:00 PM yet! This is going to be a long series of posts. Stay tuned! More tomorrow!

Oh, Hai!

Alex

Los Angeles, California, United States

First and foremost, I’m a girl who loves being spanked. It’s at the very center of my being. I’m also a professional spanking model, which means I get to do what I love for my job. I’m twenty six years old, and currently located in Los Angeles when I’m not traveling around on my adventures. My vanilla interests include poetry, film history, academia, Pokemon, indie music, baby animals, baking and cooking, collecting vintage clothes and lots of cuddling.

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