I’m going to reasume my narrative tomorrow (I have my next post written, too) but I’ve decided I’m going to share this here. I wrote this post on tumblr, in response to a fellow tumblr user who posted a piece of original writing content talking about how sad the lives of people who make pornography are and expressing a lot of judgements that are based on facts that just aren’t true.
I don’t often respond to poking like that with a rant. In fact, I basically forced myself not to get involved in the comment threads on several posts on similar topics recently because I knew that I’d get impassioned and angry and get less work done because I’ll be constantly refreshing the thread. But this one just got me between the ribs and I HAD to write this. It just happened.
Because this is a repost from a different forum, it’s much more generically written than my usual prose. There’s no cast page on my tumblr. There’s no expectation that people who read it when it’s been reblogged will even have any idea who I am. So I sound a little different than I usually do here. It’s still me, though.
Posting here will also allow people who aren’t tumblr users to comment on this post if they want to.
Today was the third time recently that I saw a post that was made by someone who was involved in a porn sharing community but was not involved in the professional production of pornography who had negative things to say about people who create porn.
While I don’t do traditional pornography, I personally identify spanking videos, bondage pictures, other fetish films and even a lot of the more erotic art nudes that I do as porn. It’s explicit. It’s designed to make you horny. A lot of people don’t want to admit that, but I don’t mind saying so. Porn doesn’t have to be a bad word. Porn can, and probably should be, happily produced, positive, artistic stuff that makes you want to touch yourself.
I love making porn. I want to clear up some myths about it for you:
- I don’t do porn because I have to. I chose to out of my free will.
- I have an amazing education. The details of this aren’t important to this argument, nor do they need to be public knowledge, and I’m not going to tell you how smart I think I am, because no one wants to hear that, but I have a very respectable degree from an excellent school. I choose to do porn in addition to working freelance in a creative field. This combination makes me happy. I’m not an anomaly here. I actually know more girls who do porn that have degrees than who don’t.This is what we chose to do with our lives for our happiness.
- I’ve never met someone who felt that they had to engage in this profession, or even who didn’t enjoy what they did. I’ve met people who stopped having fun with it and so they quit, but I’ve never met someone who felt “stuck” doing this. The number of people with “regular jobs” who hate what they do but feel that they are stuck in it and can’t change their lives is pretty high.
- I really enjoy the people and companies that I work with. While I sometimes work with producers who aren’t respectful or enjoyable to work with, there’s enough work out there that I just stop working with them and find other people who I do like.
- I have fun at my job. Sure, there’s a TON of real work that goes into making videos. A lot of days I sit at home answering email for 8 hours. Other days I have traveling hell. Other days I’m tired and cranky and have my period and don’t want to get pretty and naked, but that’s my job so I do it. That’s because this is my job. Jobs are never always fun. But I can safely say that some of the most enjoyable moments of my ENTIRE LIFE have involved filming spanking videos, and I met several of my best friends, play partners and the man I’m in love withthrough this job.
- I make enough money to support myself, pay off my student loans, save some and occasionally do or get nice things that I don’t need. Having a life that I enjoy and that lets me do those things seems pretty damn ideal.
- I don’t lead a double life. My family (both of origin and the family I’ve chosen for myself) know what I do. I had a wonderful relationship with my eldest brother until he passed away, and continue to have one with my other brother and he’s no less successful at his life because his baby sister takes her clothes off on the internet for living. My mother and I are currently having the most positive relationship that we’ve ever had in my entire life (since she’s emotionally unstable for reasons unrelated to my pornography). I don’t have a dad. I’m pretty sure that’s not why I do porn, though.
- Being poly, I have two stable and loving relationships with men that I adore and respect and who reciprocate those feelings. Neither of these relationships has been negatively affected in the tiniest bit by my internet nudity. Like I said above, I met one of my partners through the industry.
- I’m a very ambitious person. I work hard and I am constantly continuing to educate myself. Part of my ambition is to be a happy person, and my job helps me to fulfill that goal.
- People often say that girls who do porn have no self respect. I beg to differ on this. It takes a TREMENDOUS amount of self respect, positive self image, confidence and even amore propre to be sufficiently comfortable with yourself to get undressed in front of a crew of people, put yourself into a vulnerable position (in my case, getting hit with stuff, in other cases, engaging in sexual intercourse or indulging another fetish) and have the poise to perform, roleplay and do your appropriate part. When I was younger, I was ashamed of myself. I was ashamed of my sexuality, my fetish, my body, my desires. I couldn’t stand anyone else knowing about these things, seeing my body, being intimate with me. I do porn because I love myself. Because my body, my fetish and my sexuality are beautiful and I want to share these things with others.
- Porn, especially fetish porn, is actually important. Fetish porn allows people to realize that they aren’t the only people who are interested in what they are, to visualize their fantasies when they can’t connect with people in their personal lives and to be validated that what they like is okay. Despite how deeply involved I am in the creation of porn, I’m still a consumer of spanking pornography. I have subscriptions to five sites, and I watch them for my personal enjoyment, especially when I am unable to play for periods of time. There are lots of people for whom videos are the only way that they interact with their fetish. This is very important to them. Even when it’s not something so near and dear to someone’s heart, porn makes people happy. It doesn’t save anyone’s life. This is true. Neither does art. Neither does working in sales. Neither does designing roller coasters. The amount of people I know whose jobs are actually “necessary” when you really get down to it can be counted on the fingers of one hand. I have a job that makes other people AND me happy. That’s a win.
- In the past twelve months, I traveled to over fifteen cities in three countries, had “perfect attendance” at the complete roster of national spanking parties and got to visit tons and tons of my friends who live all around the world. I choose my own hours and often do my administrative work from my bed, while wearing a t-shirt and panties and dancing in place to Joy Division. This lifestyle suits me far better than sitting at a desk all day.
- Just because you watched a documentary about porn doesn’t mean that you know more about it than people who do this for a living. I watched a documentary about being transgendered. This doesn’t mean that I can go up to a transperson and tell them how they feel. If I did that, I’d hope I’d get punched in the teeth. Furthermore, I bet I could make a documentary about your life that makes you look exploited and unhappy if it served my purposes.
- Doing porn doesn’t make me a loser. It doesn’t make me a failure. It makes me a happy, independent woman who respects herself, supports herself and has adventures. Fuck yes.
Porn is valid. It isn’t disgusting. I’m not disgusting. I’m not a fuck up. Neither are my friends.
If you do porn and you aren’t happy with your life, feel free to call me out and tell me about how your experience is different than mine. Then stop doing porn and find something that does make you happy. Just like if sitting at your desk all day doesn’t make you happy you should stop sitting at your desk and do something else.