Last week on Fetlife, I responded to a comment on a Fetlife photo letting someone know that I didn’t appreciate the way that he had spoken to me. One of my friends wrote back saying that maybe I could do a guide regarding what kind of comments are and aren’t okay, since some people are genuinely not sure. I don’t expect that this guide is going to make a difference in the way that people comment on photos, but it will make me feel like I did my best to share my thoughts on what is and isn’t okay. So here it goes!
Note: ALL the comments I use as examples in this are based on real shit that I got. As always, these thoughts are my feelings, and I’m sure that there are many people who don’t agree with me. Take them as such, not as the Holy Gospel of Spanking Truth (because that’s not the name of this blog, is it?)
1) Rule one: respect.
On Fetlife, tumblr, blogs and other social media used for kink, people share photos with strangers that are of a kinky and or sexual nature. Just because someone is showing themselves off sexually it doesn’t mean that they are inviting you to talk about them in explicit, objectifying ways. This is an idea which is very hard for a lot of people. Recently, there was a high profile piece of writing on Fetlife in which a girl said (I’m paraphrasing, but these are the real ideas) “If you’re a smart girl, you won’t wear slutty clothes in a dark alley at night because you know that makes you likely to be raped. Likewise, if you’re a smart girl you won’t post slutty photos online, because you know that makes you likely to be talked about in a way that makes you uncomfortable.”
I was in a horrible rage after I read that. I had to quit the internet, go cuddle my cats and then take a walk before I could get back to work. The idea that if you show yourself off and get attention that you don’t want, it’s your own damn fault for tempting others with your body is one of the biggest problems with our culture. A girl can want to look sexy and be treated with respect. These are not mutually exclusive. A girl can put her photos out there because she wants attention. This is not a bad thing. It is okay to want attention. Wanting attention doesn’t mean wanting every kind of attention. Throw the attitude of “If you didn’t want me to say xyz, then you shouldn’t have posted naked photos to the internet” in the trash, now. The guiding rule to commenting on kinky photos anywhere on the internet is to treat the people in the pictures with respect. They’re making themselves vulnerable, whether they are professional fetish models like me or “amateur” exhibitionists doing it for a thrill or anything in between. You get the reap the benefits of an internet which is stuffed to the gills with every kind of sexy, kinky photos you can imagine. Treat them with respect. Unsure how to do that? Read on!
2) Don’t say anything in a comment on someone’s photo that you wouldn’t say to their face. Sometimes, the anonymity of the internet makes us feel braver than we actually are. Imagine yourself at a party and the person whose photo it is walks in. Chances are, you’re a total stranger to this person. Would you really lean in and say “Wow, what a butt, I’d love to be balls deep in it”?
3) There are some thoughts that are best kept to yourself.
As a fetish model, it’s my job to make people horny. I’m under no illusion as to what many people do when they look at my photos and videos. It’s the same exact thing that I’ve been doing while looking at spanking photos and videos for the past ten years. You don’t have to tell me about it, and if you do want to, there are right and wrong ways to do it. Here’s a list of examples, ranging from nicest to most awful:
^_^ Wow, I really enjoyed this photo. Thanks for sharing, it made my day.
😀 This is a really erotic shot. So hot!
🙂 You’re super sexy and it’s so working for me.
: / This made me incredibly horny to look at.
-_- Yikes, I need to keep tissues by my desk when looking at your profile.
>_< When I saw this, my dick got hard and I stroked it while thinking about you until I came all over my pants.
>_< *Emails or uploads a photo of having printed out stranger’s photo and ejaculated all over it*
How come certain comments about being made horny by photos are okay and others aren’t? For one thing, comments that come from a friend, play partner or lover are going to be greeted with more excitement than those that come from a total stranger. If you don’t know a person or know who he or she is involved with, don’t take the fact that the poster responded positively to one such comment as an invitation to add a similar one of your own. Another thing: being funny about it, especially in a self deprecating way, makes it less uncomfortable, although again, this works better with people who you know. As a general rule, the more language relating to your genitalia and the fluids that come out of it when you’re aroused that you include, the less likely it is to go over well.
On a related note, nothing gets a stern “No” or a comment deletion from me more quickly than describing what sort of sexual acts you’d like to do with me. I post a photo of myself posing nude on the sofa with my bottom out and someone responds with “That ass is just calling for me to stick my thick cock in it and make you squirm with pleasure.” I promptly delete that, because who the fuck are you?! I don’t want your dick. Remember this, strangers, unless you happen to have the proverbial chocolate penis which shoots money, I don’t want your dick (and even then, I mostly only want it for entertainment/money collecting purposes, because chocolate is probably not a good thing to put in your vag). I have five sexual partners. All of them use Fetlife. All of them manage to keep their internet comments about my body classy, 100 percent of the time. So can you. So, go ahead and have that fantasy. Spend so much time thinking about how my curvy bottom must feel to touch that you miss the bus and end up late for work. Just don’t comment saying “I spent so much time thinking about how your curvy bottom must feel to touch that I missed the bus and was late for work.” I don’t find it offensive at all if you fantasize about having hardcore, D/s sex with me. I just don’t want you to write me a two page long poem about how you fantasize about having hardcore, D/s sex with me.
4) Watch the language you use to talk about someone’s body.
Don’t tell a girl that her tits are small, even if they’re small. She knows. Don’t tell someone that she’s chubby, even if she is. She knows. You think that really tall girl looks weird OTK? Don’t point it out. Don’t call body parts “fat,” “wide,” “huge,” “chunky” et cetera, even if it feels like a compliment in your mind. I have a friend who has really big breasts. I think they’re gorgeous, but I don’t comment on her photos saying “You have really big breasts.” Why? Because I don’t know how she feels about it. Maybe she hates her chest, since it developed when she was in middle school and subjected her to teasing from her peers, makes finding appropriately fitting tops difficult, causes her buttons to pull uncomfortably during professional settings and draws unavoidable attention to one of the most sexual parts of her body wherever she goes. Sure, maybe she loves it. Maybe in her mind, it’s her best feature, and she loves the way her shape accents her femininity and she feels empowered by the fact that she can make even a baggy, old men’s shirt look sexy as fuck. The point is, I don’t know how she feels about her body. Besides, I can compliment her breasts without having to talk about the size of them: “You have a gorgeous chest” works just fine. I much prefer “I love the shape of your bottom, it’s delightful” to “Wonderful plump rump!”
If you’re in doubt, compliment the entire thing instead of just a single body part. “You have such a great figure” goes over much better than “I love your tits.” On that note, try to find words to describe body parts that are somewhere between ridiculously childish and offensively crude. Guys, would you like it if girls referred to your “peepee” when you upload a sexy, nude photo of yourself? That’s how I feel when guys use words like “tatas” or “hooha” to talk about my body. It’s embarrassingly uncomfortable. On the other end of the spectrum, I don’t want you talking about my twat or cunt. No. Do not do. Someone once referred to my butt as a “sexy shitter.” Worst. Ever. Can’t come up with a word that doesn’t seem uncomfortable? Don’t make the comment, easy as that.
5) This is not your scene.
“That’s a well spanked bottom, but why are your panties still up? I only spank on the bare.” “Sexy lingerie, but I don’t like the heels. I prefer a woman barefoot.” “Great outdoor nude, but you could use some cane stripes on that bottom.” “What a fun day, but you’re wearing too much clothing! You look so much sexier with less on!” “Needs more color, that’s just a warmup!” “Woah, that’s way too severe for me! Redness only, no bruises here!” “Just corner time? I give my subs corner time with a butt plug and vaginal dildo in place and tell them not to touch themselves. Your way is lame.” “If I did that to a woman, I’d report myself to the police.” “The front of the thighs? That’s not a spanking. Yuck.” “If someone treated me like a little girl like that, I’d punch him in the face.” “I would never go out of the house wearing that, it’s way too short!” “You call that a caning? I’d make you bleed!” “Why are you wearing clothes in the bath, idiot?” “Stop smiling! It’s supposed to hurt!” “Wet and messy is fucking disgusting.” “He missed a spot! Go back and get her thighs!” “What a tame photo, not sexy at all.” “You have too much stuff on your walls, it’s distracting me from your tits.” “Those socks suck, take them off so I can see your feet.” “I hate the cane, it’s too brutal. I’d give you a nice hand spanking instead.” “Granny panties? Where’s your sexy thong?” “I don’t want to see anymore pictures of your ass looking like hamburger meat.” “Why aren’t you nude?” “Flashing your panties in public should earn you another spanking!”
Shut up. Just shut up. It is not your scene. It is my scene. I enjoyed this scene, so I took a photo of it and put them on the internet to share with you. I can’t please everyone. I do a huge variety of things, and post a variety of pictures. If this one doesn’t satisfy you, look at some others. If none of mine do, find another person whose pictures do. Don’t want to play the way I do? You don’t have to. No one is asking you to. If for some reason you feel the need to share the fact that you don’t like to play a particular way that someone else does, there’s a nice way to do this. For example: “That’s a bit too intense for me, personally, but I’m glad that you got what you needed!” or “I prefer to only be spanked on the bottom, but if you liked this thigh caning, more power to you!” Or, have your own damn scene.
6) Singling one person out for a compliment is a passive insult at the rest of the people in the photo.
“I like the bottom on the far right,” said one commenter on the group shot I posted of all the ladies following our spankings for Sternwood Academy. He was talking about Cheyenne Jewel’s gorgeous bottom. The problem is that there are seven girls in the shot, each with their own, uniquely gorgeous bottom. Everyone who is into girls and is looking at a group of girls can pick out the one which they think is the most attractive. When you comment to let us know which one it is, you’re telling everyone else in the group that they aren’t your favorite, especially uncomfortable when the picture was posted by someone who you didn’t choose. My ex used to say “When girls aren’t having pillow fights in their pajamas, they’re comparing themselves to each other.” While this attitude on women is a bit dismissive and problematic, there is a twinkle of truth to part of it. Girls compare themselves to each other. Chances are, if you have seven girls in a photo, every single one of them thinks that they look the worst out of the bunch. One girl feels too tall. One girl feels too short. One girl worries that she has a fat butt. One girl worries that she doesn’t have enough of a butt. “Her thighs are thinner than mine.” “Her legs are longer than mine.” “Her feet are more dainty than mine.” “Her hair looks better than mine.” “Her butt reddens more than mine.” “She’s more spankable than I am.” “She’s cuter than me.” “She’s younger than me.” It goes on and on in our minds.
Don’t play into this. Either compliment the group or don’t comment.
7) Respect that your kink is not necessarily my kink.
There is one person who frequently comments on my photos who is really into enema play. I’m not really into enema play. On nearly every spanking photo, he comments with a description of how he imagined the scene went: “After a long hard spanking, she got a big, cold water enema to clean her out, leaving her feeling really punished!” I always end up either deleting the comment or responding saying “No, that’s not what happened, or what will happen.” This is sort of a combination of keeping your fantasy to yourself and understanding that this is not your scene, but it’s a particular thing which happens an awful lot, so I figured it needed it’s own note. I especially notice that there are a lot of spankos commenting on pictures of girls who have the (in their mind, unfortunate) combination of an attractive bottom and a different fetish than spanking. They tell these girls that they have very spankable bottoms, and that they’d love to turn them over their knees for a good bottom reddening. If someone told me that, I’d smile. If this person’s kink is decorative rope bondage, or service oriented submission, or feet, or anything else that isn’t spanking related, then this comment is putting your fetish on someone else who doesn’t have that kink, and that’s an uncomfortable feeling. Don’t know if someone is into your kink? Check their profile for signs that they are before you comment to such an effect.
I might come back and add more to this post later, but for now, I think this covers the basics (and I’m hungry, so I think my writing quality is deteriorating). Thoughts? Please add yours in the comment section (respectfully, of course!) ♥
While the action of this story takes place in Vegas, it begins in a very different time and place.
It was one of those evenings where I was alone in my apartment in South Dakota and Malignus was working. Both my professional work and my chores were completed for the evening, so I was sitting on the computer chatting to people and using Fetlife.
Recently, my darling twinsie, ellee, had been to a party in New York where she had met and played with Richard Windsor. From the very onset of my experience on Fetlife, Richard had been one of my favorite people. I liked his sense of humor, his ability to start a good discussion and his attitude towards play. I had been aware of him and his blog for longer than I’d been active in the virtual community, and I was delighted by how lovely he seemed online. We had met for the first time during Shadowlane, but unfortunately I was super overbooked at that party and didn’t get to see half of the people that I wanted to. It also seemed to me that Rich was the kind of person who preferred pre-negotiated play over the “Hey, I’m here! Wanna spank me for the next ten minutes before I leave again?” sort of thing, which is really what most of my play at Shadowlane ended up being. After having our rather short meeting, though, my desire to actually get to scene with him had intensified, and listening to ellee talk about how amazing her experience had been brought this back to the front of my mind.
I wanted to engage, but more specifically, I wanted to show my interest in a bantery, fun, spank-flirty way. This is something that I’m not good at. My preference is to be a good girl, sometimes even doing so excessively to the point of being annoying to others around me. I know that in my regular home life, I’m never going to be intentionally bratty, but I also know that there’s a time and an audience for it and that it can be incredibly entertaining. The idea of having fun first and then getting spanked later sounded rather perfect for me. So I decided to wait for a window of opportunity and then try my hand at it.
It just so happened that the night in question, The Spanking World: Good vs. Bad was having a field day, and I happily joined in, joking and bantering. A few days/weeks before that, Rich had started a topic in the group, but when no one replied for a while, he took it down. He explained this in a post elsewhere in the group: “No one responded for 43 minutes, so I figured no one was going to and deleted it.” (this is paraphrased. I cannot find the actual post anymore). This lead to lots of teasing and hilarity Later that evening, I posted a new set of self-taken photos:
I was pretty pleased with the photo set, but despite the fact that lots of people were active on Fetlife, I wasn’t getting any comments. I then made the following post to the famous “Pet Peeves” thread:
And then there was…
To which I responded:
Rich then commented on my photo, and I waited for exactly 43 minutes before replying to his comment. I literally sat next to my computer with a timer and waited. I was on a roll, and I was quite sure that everyone thought I was hilarious.
Really, it should have stopped there, but I was drunk with the glory of my new-found ability to draw spankings to myself in a hilarious manner, so I kept referring to the 43 minute rule and calling Richard a little bitch whenever I got the chance, and it probably got legitimately annoying. This was something that I originally really didn’t want: I just wanted it to be funny and then for me to get beaten over it, and there were signs that I was actually becoming irritating (maybe even offensive?) later on, so I decided to lay low until the Vegas party, which I successfully did. My biggest fear in this whole out of character, behavior experiment was that I would actually hurt someone’s feelings, create a nuisance or make someone think less of me, and I did worry that I had pushed things too far at the end.
Still, whenever anyone asked me about the story, I was happy to tell the entire thing, and I was quite pleased with myself. Rich had made it quite clear to me what the consequences for my actions were to be by sending me a series of voice recordings that were specifically designed to make my heart pound and my stomach flutter, I think. I was going to get 12 strokes of the cane, and after each stroke, I would need to repeat my most inappropriate phrase before the next. I let myself get enjoyably worked up over this. The anticipation built and built, and when we arrived at the party, Richard told me that I would be getting my caning on Sunday so that I got the maximum time to wait and think about things.
I ended up having to discuss practical concerns, which are my least favorite things when dealing with spanking play. I want to be able to just do whatever the fuck that I want, whenever I want. That’s the way the world works, right? Unfortunately, this is not always the case. I was leaving from Vegas to go to England and would be filming in just a few days after arriving, so I couldn’t leave the party all beaten and battered looking. This was also a concern in my play with YS: I had to ask him not to mark me during our last scene together, even though I really wanted him to. I wanted YS to spank me super hard and long and to leave me feeling sore and looking bruised so that I would continue to be enveloped in the safety and love of the time that we’d spent together. As it was, I wasn’t able to get that, exactly, although all of our play together over the weekend left me with very positive memories, and the combination of everyone’s efforts meant that I was very sore while flying to England. Anyway, I was worried that I would be in bad condition by Sunday and would not be able to be caned, and on Saturday night I was feeling a bit tired and emotionally stretched thin and I wasn’t going to be able to put my heart into the scene if we did it then. Richard and I talked about all this, and we decided that I would be fine to get caned on Sunday before I had to leave. I set aside more time than we would probably actually need for it, just in case, and to avoid rushing. I think because of my temporary anti-marking agenda I may not have been caned as hard as I possibly could have, but because this was our first real scene together, I was somewhat alright with that.
On Sunday morning I took my time getting up and getting dressed and then spent some final private time focusing on my D/s dynamic with YS. Then it was time to go to “Strick”Dave’s spanking court. When we left our room to talk down to the main suite, YS held his hand out for me to take and ended up feeling like I was in middle school or something. It was the sweetest gesture, and it made me feel a giddy, girly feeling inside. When we got to court, it had already started so we sort of snuck into the back. Court is always hilarious, and I have huge respect for (and probably a bit of a spanko-crush on) Dave: he seems to be knowledgable about everything, always quick to respond, makes me laugh lots and has just flat out impressive spanking skills. I was involved in one court case: in which Whooperine charged me with making fun of him for eating chicken wings with a fork. I did not even bother trying to defend myself against this, because several people had seen me say this, so I just argued that what I said wasn’t so much mockery as it was fact. I may have been found guilty and gotten ten strokes, but I think that I sufficiently was able to make court a venue for further Whooperine-teasing, which meant that everything was right with the world. Throughout all these proceedings, though, I had a funny feeling in my tummy. Richard had handed me a note when I first came in that instructed me to go to my room after court and stand in the corner and wait for him. He was dressed sharply and had a very serious look on his face all the way through the court proceedings. His unbudging nature made me get even more worked up over what was about to happen. I had the classic mixture of terror and excitement. It was an excellent state of being.
As soon as I finished my case, I told Richard that I was going to my room then, in the interest of time (or maybe he told me to? I don’t remember this part too well). What I do remember well is the walk down the hallway towards my suite. I had just walked this path with YS less than hour ago, practically skipping gleefully and then, it had seemed extremely short. Now, it stretched on and on in front of me. It was dizzyingly long! I found myself pausing to wipe my hands off on my skirt, because they were sweating. “How big is this hotel?” I wondered to myself. “I feel like I’ve been walking for an hour.”
I finally arrived in the room and I propped the door open so that Richard would be able to enter when he came in. I then went pretty directly into the corner and began to wait. I could hear my blood rushing around inside my ears and hear my heart beating. I was very detached from my regular self and simply existing in this moment. My world was a world where I’d been a badly behaved girl and I was going to be soundly, severely punished for it. Thump, Thump, Thump went my heart.
Finally, Richard appeared and called me out of the corner. I’m sure my face must have been pretty pathetic: I was literally quivering. His manner in addressing me was stern and unbending and it made all my other feelings even more intense. I didn’t protest against anything, just quietly submitted to getting into position for the cane. When he tested it in the air, I gasped at just the sound. From the time that the caning began until maybe ten minutes afterwards, I was in a liminal space on the verge of crying. Richard had said that he expected that I may cry, so I knew that was acceptable. For whatever reason, though, I never actually did: I think that I had too much nervous energy, too much anticipation and adrenaline to actually get to tears. Besides, I don’t think that I’ve ever cried the first time that someone gave me a serious spanking (with the exception of my very first spanking). I think it’s sort of an usual space for me, and my brain doesn’t know which part of the mixed set of emotions to respond to.
Richard had positioned me over a barstool, in basically the same position that YS had used, but while yesterday’s spanking had felt warm and close, this one felt austere and formal. It pushed a whole different (and much rarer to be pushed) set of buttons for. I was given a piece of paper which read “MR. WINDSOR IS NOT A LITTLE BITCH” which I was to recite after each stroke (this paper is currently tucked in my wallet behind my credit cards, which I suppose could prove awkward at some point, but I don’t want to lose it). The first stroke made me gasp and whimper. I had trouble getting my voice in order to speak to read the sentence. I think I may have actually moved my mouth without any sound coming out, like trying to bring myself to wake someone sleeping in a dark room when my mind believes that it is necessary to be entirely quiet.
“Mr. Windsor is not a little bitch,” I managed. The cane landed again, in a hot, stinging stroke. Again, I repeated the sentence. On the third stroke, I had a moment of fear when I realized that I was only a quarter of the way done with the caning. Just like the hallway had before, twelve strokes seemed impossibly long. The scene had gotten into some deep part of my brain and had twisted my senses of time and distance. It felt like a very long time before the next stroke.
Sometimes, I would rush the sentence out quickly. Others, I would whimper and wail a bit, catch my breath, move my feet and then whisper. At one point, I apologized, but I was firmly reminded that it was not the time for that. When I finally read the sentence for the last time and received my final stroke, I felt like I had been in the scene for ages, when in reality, I can’t imagine that it took more than ten minutes between the first and last stroke. Each one had been memorable, though: they cut, they bit, they slashed, they buzzed and itched and chewed at me. When it was done, I was suffering from “No bones syndrome” and sort of poured myself onto the couch in a snuggling position with Richard.
We talked a bit and I felt very relieved and relaxed. The whole thing had been such an intense and powerful situation that it took me a little bit to sort of “come to” from it, but when I did, I was very happy with the whole experience. We hugged and everything was forgiven.
I feel very certain that I will never call Richard a little bitch ever, ever again. ♥
In January I made this post detailing what kind of comments I frequently received on Fetlife that I did not appreciate. This post created some controversy, because people don’t like to be told that they are doing something that pisses others off. I actually lost a friend because he said that I was too picky about comments. -_-
Fetlife comments that are annoying, not appreciated or offensive continue to be a problem. I’ve branched out to notice several new types of annoying comments. Here is the updated list. Please note that this post isn’t exactly sweet and positive. If you don’t like this or you have some kind of delicate sensibilities and can’t deal with me using “harsh language” then I suggest that you skip this one.
1) Creepily sexual comments.
I’ve already pretty well established that excessively sexual comments from strangers make me, and NEARLY EVERY OTHER GIRL ON THE INTERNET at least somewhat uncomfortable. I do acknowledge that there are some girls who get off on the idea that a stranger wants to put his tongue in them for hours, but those girls really aren’t the majority. I’m moving on to include “creepily sexual” in this category, because those are even worse. Topping this list is the comment “I hope you are looking forward to me sneaking up on you to give you a good fuck.” I hope the commenter is looking forward to me stabbing him the throat in self defense. Strangers being sexually forceful isn’t actually hot. It’s just…rapey. In a bad way. In a “if this comment was a neighborhood that I was driving through, I would lock my doors” kind of way.
2) Sexualizing non-sexual pictures or trying to force a picture into a different fetish.
I know that Fetlife is about kink. It’s also basically where I hang out all day. I have more friends that I actually value, talk to and visit on Fetlife than any other place. Because of this, I sometimes post pretty vanilla stuff to my Fetlife page. I try not to post things that are excessively “Vanilla and Unpopular” like pictures of what I ate for dinner or a photo of some rocks, but I do post pictures of me just hanging out and doing regular-person stuff that have nothing to do with kink. It makes sense: I do stuff other than get spanked. I wear clothes most of the time. My whole life isn’t one big spanking video. Sometimes, commenters don’t understand this. Once, someone commented on a photo of me and a friend (I think Heather) at a mall or something with “Did you guys have sex in the foodcourt?” No! We walked around and looked at clothes, talked about whatever we were feeling insecure about, drank an Orange Julius, tried some dresses on and then went home.
Another time, I posted a photo of a cake and someone commented that he wanted to jizz all over it. Fuck you people.
Equally obnoxious to me is when people try to make up a story which fits my photo into a different fetish. For example, I uploaded a perfectly innocent photo of myself in the corner and someone commented with “Sent to the corner with a butt plug and vaginal dildo in place and told not to touch yourself.” No, just sent to the corner. End of story. You can think about whatever you want when you look at my pictures. Just don’t write those words down if they aren’t the kind of thing you share with everyone else.
Popular among my friends is the story of a comment that was placed on this photo:
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| This awesome photo is by Amoni Jones. I love her forever. |
This is a picture of me that my good friend, Amoni took during an Alex in Spankingland themed photo shoot. At some point, I’ll be re-doing my blog to include some of these photos in the layout. I feel like this picture is fairly straight forward, especially considering that the next photo in the series is of me bent over that rock behind me with my bare, spanked bottom on display. I’m about to be spanked and I’m petulant about it.
According to a commenter, this is a photo of “a young school girl pissing out of doors.”
Oh. Ok. I GUESS I can see where you could kind of get that idea from. Maybe just a little.
Anyway, this became hilarious because I was amused by the syntax “pissing out of doors” (when he clearly meant “outdoors”) and did a literal demonstration (without actually peeing, of course) of what that looks like in my head: a girl opens up a door, stands in the frame, then thrusts her crotch forward in an attempt to piss out of the door. I imitated this a lot at Chicago Crimson Moon this October. I also got spanked for doing so. 😛
3) Complaints about pantie placement/what I’m wearing/how I’m posed/other details
I personally like panties a lot. I buy lots of cute ones, and I want to take photos wearing them. I love the way that my red butt looks sticking out from my panties. Often times, when I take pictures, I’ll pull my panties back up after a bare bottom spanking because I like that look. So. Many. People. Complain. About. This. It’s almost enough to make me not want to post photos of my butt to the internet anymore when I post a picture and I get comments like “that should have been on the bare” or “why did he leave your panties up”? It isn’t like I never post bare bottom photos. I’d say it’s a pretty even split. If you don’t like a photo with my panties up, go look at one with them down. Bam. Problem solved. Once, maybe a week after a photo of me having been spanked in my swimsuit was uploaded, someone commented on it saying “Could you take one with the bottoms pulled down?” Oh, yes. Let me go back in time to when I got that spanking and take a picture to your exact specifications.
I get these complains about lots and lots of things. “I wish your pajamas were dropseats.” “Next time, take a photo where you’re bent over the couch.” “Take pictures during the spanking, not after.” -_-
I usually just delete the offending comments and then move on with my life. One that I found particularly annoying was left on this photo:
This is probably my favorite photo of all time, leaving aside a couple of pictures of me and my brother, and it’s certainly my favorite spanking related photo. Why do I like it so much? Because those moments when I’m worn out and crying after a long, hard spanking and Malignus is holding me and calming me down are some of the most special moments in my life, period. This is the only time when there was someone else there at that moment with a camera, so it’s the only photo that I currently have of this kind of moment. It’s also from the first time that I visited Malignus, before I was his girlfriend, before we moved in together and built the life that we have now. It just brings up a lot of positive memories. It always makes me smile.
Someone commented on it saying that it would be better if my socks were white.
dfghosdoghosiudghdfioughdiufghiusefhisuefgtsuygfidfgisufisufgisudfhisufhiosuediufgiuhijbdfsdfhs!!!!!!!HNUIU!
4) Comments not related to photo.
This is a practice that a lot of people are guilty of that I just find really rude: commenting on a photo to say something which is unrelated to the picture. One time, one of my friends uploaded a photo of her thighs after they were spanked and it turned into a giant discussion regarding whether or not thighs should be spanked. Another time, a different friend uploaded a picture of her being spanked by a play partner and several girls started using the comments there as a place to brat their Tops. People start having side conversations. Someone comments on a photo to say something that’s just about themselves and is only tangentially related to what’s being pictured. A girl uses someone else’s photo comment thread as a place to be disrespectful to someone who isn’t even included in the picture in order to get attention. All of this is just, in my opinion, unacceptable. If you want to talk about something like whether or not thighs should be spanked, start a thread. If you want to brat your Top, go write on his wall or IM him. If you want to talk about yourself, post your own goddamn picture. I’m not saying that my pictures are uploaded just so that people will talk about me and pay attention to me, but it’s still my photo, and that’s not the right place for your discussion. You can argue this with me if you don’t agree, but I really find that disrespectful to the person who posted the picture.
5) Your ass is too pale/Those marks are too much.
I don’t bruise like I used to. A really hard and severe spanking can leave me in a condition which photographs as “pink”. I’ve accepted this. Not bruising is convenient when doing lots of shooting: it means that I can do back to back shoots and never have to worry about asking Tops not to mark me. It just doesn’t always look as epic in the photos. People complain about this, or they diminish the intensity of the spanking that I received. “Nice warmup!” or “Off to a good start!” comments are always kind of snarky in a way that I don’t appreciate. On the other hand, when I *do* have noticeable bruises, there’s always someone who comments or otherwise points out to me that they think it’s “too much for their taste.” My spankings are tailored to me. I don’t upload photos from something that wasn’t a positive experience. If I’m bearing marks and I’ve photographed them, it’s because *I like them.* Aren’t you people ever satisfied?!
6) I like the one on the left.
In general, I don’t like it when I upload pictures of myself and people talk about me like I’m not involved. “I like that girl’s ass.” “She’s got nice tits.” Those aren’t enough of a peeve to warrant me including them as a category here. What really bugs me is when I upload a picture of me in a group of girls and someone comments saying which one of us they like the best. This happens a lot with my Sternwood Academy pictures, or pictures of me hanging out with friends at parties. Someone will comment and say “The third girl in is the hottest!” or “I like the one on the left.” Nothing makes a girl feel great like saying “Your friend is hotter than you, I just wanted to point that out!” It doesn’t matter if the girl that they are singling out as “the hot one” is me or not. It just isn’t nice. Not to mention that the language used in these comments is often really objectifying. Harumph.
-End of List of Things I Don’t Like-
Because for the fast few months I’ve been trying to focus on the positive in life, I’m going to do a quick positive affirmation to make up for all the negativity in this post.
I get LOTS AND LOTS of awesome comments that make me feel great about myself. I love it when people take the time to let me know that they enjoyed what I wrote or a photograph of me. I love it when people tell me that my cuteness made their day. I love it when I inspire people to to take their own photos or write their own blogs. I love it when my friends are concerned about me and want me to be happy. I love my readers. I love it when people reblog tumblr pictures of me and attach my name and link to them when someone just uploaded a promotional picture or whatever. I love it when people comment on my blog to just say “I read your post and liked it.” I love my friends. I love my boyfriends. I love my Bosses of Me. I love my sisters. I love spankings. I love my hair. I love my pajamas.
Also, I recently drew this as an assignment from YS. Pretty epic win, huh?
Oh, Hai!
Alex
Los Angeles, California, United States
First and foremost, I’m a girl who loves being spanked. It’s at the very center of my being. I’m also a professional spanking model, which means I get to do what I love for my job. I’m twenty six years old, and currently located in Los Angeles when I’m not traveling around on my adventures. My vanilla interests include poetry, film history, academia, Pokemon, indie music, baby animals, baking and cooking, collecting vintage clothes and lots of cuddling.
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