So, my blog is officially 200 posts old. Realistically, that’s a very small number of posts per year, but it’s what I’ve been able to do. Here’s to getting through the next 200 posts much more quickly!
Realizing just how many posts I’ve written made me want to go back and skim some of the old ones. There were lots of milestones and adventures recorded, changes in my writing style as time has gone by and a drastic improvement in my skin quality, makeup ability, hair and eyebrows as I’ve grown into myself a little bit.
In case you haven’t read all 200 posts (and really, who has?!) here are a few memorable ones to look at:
My First Adventure in Spanking Modeling: a post describing my first ever spanking shoot with Assume the Position Studios three years ago.
A Spanko on Folsom Street: in which I visit the Folsom Street Fair with friends, take oral history from aging Old Guard leathermen and question how I fit into the BDSM community as a spanking fetishist.
My First Spanking: in which I describe my first spanking experience, which had happened several years before this was written.
Curious About…: this post includes my original spanking bucket list. I still have not sat down in the snow after being spanked, but I have done everything else!
Limits: in which I describe what I saw as my limits at the time of writing. This list has nothing to do with my limits today, and shows what a different headspace I was in back then. Some aspects of it are influenced by the preferences of my partner at the time. Others are because I didn’t really feel comfortable with aspects of myself yet. Others aren’t made into a hard enough limit because damn, for no reason is someone going to do these things to me these days. Interesting how one develops.
Where Has Alex Been: Part 1: in which I first announce that I’m planning on moving to South Dakota, dress as a slutty Pikachu and get shot in the ass with an airsoft gun on purpose.
Adventures: Part 1: in which I actually begin the process of moving to South Dakota, try wax play and needle play and have the worst skin I’ve ever had, my god, why was I allowed out of the house? Although not mentioned in the post, this was written when my brother first entered the hospital for the last time before passing away.
International AIDS Day: in which I come out to the public about the fact that my brother’s life had recently come to an end due to an opportunistic infection caused by AIDS.
Shit Spanko Girls Say: This was pretty funny.
Fetlife Comments Most People Don’t Enjoy: this was sort of a first draft of what would, over a year later, become pretty much the most popular thing I ever wrote.
Zeldagony: Part 2: This was my first post ever to be Chrossed. I felt like such a boss when this happened. The post itself is about how Malignus made me play Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and punished me when I was not good at video games. Parts of this experience were actually super fun. Other parts of it were signs that our relationship was quickly spiraling to an extremely unhealthy place. I didn’t re-read this post so I don’t know how much of that can actually be picked up by reading it.
The Care and Keeping of a Frequently Spanked Bottom: I really need to write an updated version of this, as I have learned a lot of new things, but this is still a good guide and I think that I’m funny.
On Being Spanked to Tears: I explore what makes me cry and why. Another topic I should probably revisit sometime soon!
Happy Face: In which I finally got my driver’s license. I can’t believe it was that recently!
A Blog Post About Sex: In which my views on sex, kink and how they interact are entirely different than they are today.
First Party: Chapter 1: In which I went to my first overnight spanking gathering at a cabin. At the time I was very focused on having met a couple of people who became very close to me for a while and then ended up not staying in my life, but I also first met Joe and Ten there, who are some of the people in the scene who have remained (without fail) the most loving and supportive. I’m seriously thankful that I met them.
First Party: Final Chapter: In which I talk about the first scene that Joe and I had together and feel pretty confused about what those “positive feelings” I was having were!
The Struggle: In which I try to talk about entirely unreasonable expectations that my ex set for me as if they were reasonable, and in the comments section, Pandora Blake first suggests that this is actually unreasonable and I first start to consider this idea.
Shamrocks and Sjamboks: Where I got in trouble in a most hilarious way. Also included: videos of me and Heather Green (then Michaels) spanking each other and Malignus caning us.
Submission Topic: Polyamory and Submission: I try to take apart why it’s traditionally seen as acceptable for a Dom to have two subs but not the other away around, and I try to explain how serving two or more different people works.
Vacation: In Which I Meet Erica Scott: Exactly as it says on the tin (as Paul would say)! I went back to Los Angeles and met Erica Scott for the first time. It’s hard to imagine my life before she was a part of it, now. She means so much to me.
In and Out of Spankingland: Following my return from vacation, Malignus broke up with me for the first time. We then lived in a weird situation where all our relationships were “on hold” for a while, until he finally gave me a list of things I had to change about myself (which included some things fundamental to my personality and other things like the sounds that I make when drinking). Malignus always asked me not to post about anything negative involving our lives (a habit that has made it very hard for me to open up publicly, but I’ve been getting better at it over the past year) and so I did not announce that my life had basically fallen apart, but I did write this post. I went for three months without getting spanked during this time. None of this is really included in the post, but it’s important background.
Welcome to Sternwood Academy: In which we did one of the most fun shoots that ever happened, ever.
TASSP, TASSP Part Two and Other Things TASSP Part Three and TASSP: Final Part, : In which I go to my first national spanking party!
Out of the Bag: In which my mom found out what it is I do, and it didn’t go so well.
Drink Me: A post where I describe my distress at being tall and not petite. This is usually not an issue in my life anymore, I’m happy to say.
Crimson Moon: I attended my first Crimson Moon party.
Shadowlane Highlights: My first Shadowlane! Lots of adventures. Although not discussed directly in this post, I also met Paul for the first time this weekend. I did do a bunch of fangirling about my Northern Spanking shoot, but I didn’t straight up say “Then I met Paul Kennedy, on who I have had a crush since always” because no one announces their secret crushes to the internet. But I will never, ever forget that day.
My 100th Post: It took me A LOT LONGER to do the next 100.
A Real Vacation: I planned a cabin party in the woods and had many spanking related adventures there!
Obnoxious Comments Revisited: My second attempt at talking about how we should and shouldn’t comment on photos.
Happy Spanksgiving: Let’s all just remember that I’m the one who invented the concept and name “Thigh Turkey” (not Malignus, or anyone else! Harrumph! Give me credit! *foot stomp*)
Be Here, Now: A post I’m very proud of where I talk about focusing one’s mind on the moment.
Surprise and MOAR SURPRISES: When I secretly flew in three girls from places around the country to visit Malignus for his 30th birthday.
I’m a Winner: In which I won the Creative Blog of the Year Award. The Cane: Not Exactly a Love Story: I describe my (then) feelings towards the cane. Regarding Baring: Where I talk about why I love bare bottom spanking (although some of my feelings on this have evolved, too). The Adventure Continues: Roleplaying: At the first 50 Freaks, before it was called 50 Freaks. In this, I recount the story as to why the party got that name, and do other fun stuff. The Little Bitch Saga: Probably the most entertaining thing that has ever happened to me in the spanking world. A Rocky Start: In which my arrival to the UK was rather traumatic. Spanked in Uniform Shoot (and Day 2): In which I visit Holland and get lots of spankings! There’s a little part I love at the end of the second post where I talk about Paul picking me up at the airport and feeling a sudden sense of security and relief. I still feel that way every time I see him, whether I’m getting him from the airport after he’s been in England or I’m finding him in the grocery store after I wandered off to look at candy. Derbyshire Shoot Parts 1 and 2 and 3: In which I first meet my now longtime friend John Osborne, get spanked by Paul for the first time, learn about PE kit, get spanked by a teddy bear and everyone has a lot to drink. I would say I have very warm memories about this time, but it was fucking freezing there, so that language would not be appropriate. Shoot Report: Dreams of Spanking: My second DoS shoot involved a lot of fun and antics, plus serious spankings and my favorite ever photo of Pandora Blake’s cat. The Camden Pancake Incident, More Filming and Alex Buys too Much Stuff: Basically, this title does a good job of summing up my trip to England. I am very fond of the “Camden Pancake Incident” story. “The Awful Stuff” and Goodbyes: I talk about my fondness for more cruel scenes and then have to leave England to go back home. This Post Makes My Hands Hurt: Probably one of my favorite posts ever, I talk about my first hand tawsing experience.Size, Shape, Spanking: My attitude about my body shifts towards the positive.Real Spankings Shoot Three: Meeting Masterson: I meet and get spanked by one of my favorite tops for the first time!
Together: In which Paul visits me for the first time and I am the happiest little girl in all the lands.
Pornography Rant: One of my most serious and important posts. More of a manifesto than a rant.
Compatibility: On the nature of compatibility between spanking partners, and how lucky I am to have someone who fits me just right.
Turn and Face the Strange: In which I talk about the changes that had happened in my life, including the fact that Malignus and I had broken up pretty much as soon as I got back from England but I had a hard time talking about that on the blog, and I announce that I’m returning to Los Angeles.
Protocol: Accepting the Concept, Enjoying the Reality: My first Kink of the Week Post, and a damn good one!
A Very Long Walk: Another post I find super entertaining, in which I get in trouble for doing something silly.
KOTW: Punishment: The Real Kind: Where I describe the ins and out of what real punishment means to me.
KOTW: Punishment: The Fun Kind: Where I describe what play punishment is and why I love it.
Heavy Play: My Perspective: On why I no longer feel like I’m a hard player (warning, contains graphic images)
A New Project and Some Changes: About Kitchen Sink Spanking and my new(ish)ly found spanking sexuality.
How to Politely Comment on Kinky Photos: A Guide For the Genuinely Curious: After four years of attempting, I finally get out everything I want to say about this topic. Welcome Home: Paul comes back from England and everything is amazing.
Because You’re Mine: A loving Valentine’s Day scene.
Outdoor Adventures: The perks of being spanked in the woods.
A New Hairbrush: A sexy, F/F scene.
The Paddling Game: Why I couldn’t tell my vanilla BFF that I’m kinky.
Breaking Brushes: In which I break a hairbrush with my bottom at my first spanking of a party.
Every Day is a School Day: Discovering what, exactly, I like so much about school uniforms.
This post was a total clips show, but a good one I hope. AND I updated two days in a row. I deserve a cookie.
I’m posting this eleven days late. This potential “didn’t post to my blog as I should” punishment is probably growing. I’m going to take a moment to talk about the phenomenon of me not posting very often. In 2013, I rarely blogged as often as I wanted to, and my posts often had more than a month of lag between the event and the write-up. This has been a constant source of frustration for me, as I would like to be able to sit down and write and then post things. There are a couple of reasons why this became a trend. The first is that in 2013, I was away from home 66 percent of the year, and it wasn’t until I moved into my new house here in Los Angeles that I was ever home for more than two weeks straight without traveling. I have a hard time blogging when I’m on the road, as I often am either very busy with shoots or trying to squeeze in as much socializing as is possible. Because I was never home for very long, though, this meant that it became impossible for me to get caught up on things, which lead to me feeling frustrated and disappointed in myself, which actually isn’t a useful emotional place for me to be in and accomplish things.
The second reason is because there were parts of this year which were very difficult for me. It was the epitome of a transition period. I firmly believe that when it comes to putting things out there on the internet, if you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all. During these times of stress and instability (or the depression that I fell into when Malignus first broke up with me, for example) it was hard for me to have anything worth putting on the internet to say.
The final reason why blogging hasn’t happened as much is because I’m sometimes very naughty and play too much Pokemon instead of doing my writing like a good girl. This is the reason why I need beatings. ^_^!
The other circumstances will hopefully be mitigated in the coming year (and obviously my naughtiness will be totally and entirely corrected and never be a problem again, right? That’s how spanking works? :P). I intend to spend much more time close to home. I love everything about where I live: my house, my cats, my local friends, the people I get to work with, the places I get to go, the proximity to Disneyland and, of course, being at home (most of the time) with someone I love. I’ll still travel quite a bit, especially to national parties, and I’ll likely continue to visit Denver and Dallas as regularly as I can manage (they’re filled with some favorite friends, producers and clients!) but in general, the travel craziness will be toned down.
So, with this out of the way, it’s time to remember some fun things which happened in 2013! Onward! [Please note that some of these stories contain ellipses. These are real ellipses, showing that text has been omitted in between those words to keep each story brief and readable, not punk ass “I dunno how to finish a thought” type ellipses. Kthnx.
One of my fonder memories from January was visiting Amoni in Denver, where I did my second shoot for Real Spankings. I described the final scene I filmed that day like this:
When we were discussing these last two sets, it was up to me whether I wanted to do them with my jeans on or not. For the first one, I decided to do it on the bare because cane lines always look great, and because at this point in my life, it feels kind of unnatural to get spanked over clothing since baring is nearly always a part of my spanking ritual, unless it’s something extremely impromptu or it’s part of a mind-game. Shortly after we finished filming the caning sequence, I went to get changed to do the paddling one. I had originally said that I would take the paddle swats over my jeans, but I changed my mind at the last minute. My butt was sore, sure, but I wasn’t dying. I was really enjoying getting spanked, and I really wanted to feel the spanking I’d be getting that day.
After the interview, when it came time to actually take my jeans down, I felt a little apprehensive about my decision. It’s funny how the closer a spanking gets, the scarier it becomes. But I reminded myself that this was all my choice and I wanted it to be hard and got them down.
It was hard.
I got ten swats with the paddle, and each of them made me rise up on my toes, cry out, and contort my face in pain. After the seventh, I asked for a moment to catch my breath. I took a second to just breathe as Danny gently rubbed my bottom. I felt safe and secure, and relaxed myself again, stuck my bottom back out and took the final three swats.
When it was done, I had quite a mix of adrenaline and endorphins and a very sore bottom. That, my friends, is the ideal way to end a work day. 🙂
In January I also spent a lot of time with a girl who I was involved with at the time (and still care greatly about) called Panda, I was in Sioux Falls, and it snowed. I hate the snow if I have to deal with it for more than about fifteen minutes. In retrospect, January was very much like the year before it, although the rest of 2013 was really not.
In February, I was a busy girl. I spent the first couple of weeks in Sioux Falls, but then took off for the start of a whirlwind adventure which changed my life forever! I left to go to Los Angeles, where I visited Rafa, Zeki, Christy Cutie and Maddy Marks, went to parties, did shoots, worked on projects and ate delicious food. From LA, I flew to Las Vegas for the private party now called “50 Freaks,” where I had a remarkable time and got spanked quite a bit! On the last day of the party, Robert Wolf and Lily Starr took me to the airport, where I departed for my month long adventure in England. I had one of my favorite scenes of all time while I was in Las Vegas, with Richard Windsor. We built the energy for the scene up over the course of months, with internet bratting and scolding voice recordings which left me a (happily!) quivering mess. Here’s the meat of that story:
Richard had positioned me over a barstool … I was given a piece of paper which read “MR. WINDSOR IS NOT A LITTLE BITCH” which I was to recite after each stroke. … The first stroke made me gasp and whimper. I had trouble getting my voice in order to speak to read the sentence. I think I may have actually moved my mouth without any sound coming out, like trying to bring myself to wake someone sleeping in a dark room when my mind believes that it is necessary to be entirely quiet.
“Mr. Windsor is not a little bitch,” I managed. The cane landed again, in a hot, stinging stroke. Again, I repeated the sentence. On the third stroke, I had a moment of fear when I realized that I was only a quarter of the way done with the caning. Just like the hallway had before, twelve strokes seemed impossibly long. The scene had gotten into some deep part of my brain and had twisted my senses of time and distance. It felt like a very long time before the next stroke.Sometimes, I would rush the sentence out quickly. Others, I would whimper and wail a bit, catch my breath, move my feet and then whisper. At one point, I apologized, but I was firmly reminded that it was not the time for that. When I finally read the sentence for the last time and received my final stroke, I felt like I had been in the scene for ages, when in reality, I can’t imagine that it took more than ten minutes between the first and last stroke. Each one had been memorable, though: they cut, they bit, they slashed, they buzzed and itched and chewed at me.
March was one of the most adventure filled months of my whole little life. I arrived in England on the first and returned the the US on the 30th. I had a disastrous start to my trip, but things quickly picked up and became delightful. After spending less than a day in country, I flew to Holland, where I did two days of shooting for Spanked in Uniform and Real Life Spanking. From there, I flew back to England where I was collected by Paul to go to location where we were joined by John Osborne (“The Chief”) for another two days of shooting: one for Northern Spanking and one for Triple A Spanking. This was the second time I ever met Paul, having shot for him briefly at Shadowlane the year before. I was stressed out beyond belief during my first few days of travel, and I was deeply afraid to be in places where I knew no one, and where I felt fundamentally alone. I don’t have an explanation for this, and it this isn’t something that I retroactively wrote onto my memory because I remember thinking it to be very strange at the time, but as soon as I saw Paul waiting for me from across the baggage claim, I felt secure. It turns out that wasn’t just a fleeting feeling and wasn’t just my relief at seeing a face that I recognized. It’s a feeling of security which, very soon after this, became a permanent part of my life.
We spent two days doing our shoots. I got spanked by Paul for the first time, and several times after that: despite my somewhat frazzled state at the time, I was very aware of just how well we connected, even when our scenes were for films. When shooting was done, due to difficulties (I was originally meant to stay with SF while in England, but his infant daughter passed away during my first week in the country which changed things a great deal) I ended up staying with Paul for two days, during which time we played as much as possible and pretty much spent the rest of the time cuddling. It was magical.
From there, I went to stay with Pandora Blake for over a week, where we had lots of fun spanking adventures, deep conversations and much more cuddling. I also spent about half the visit following around and harassing her cat, Fatface. Observe this passage describing my feelings:
Fatface is a big, beautiful cat. She’s fluffy and mostly white, and most of the time, she gives zero fucks about what those weird humans are doing around her. The characteristics that make me like her more than the average cat (which I already like a lot) are as follows:
1) Fluffiness. 2) Passivity. 3) Facial expressions suggesting dissatisfaction with human company. 4) Adorable cat food (or “biscuits” as they are referred to in England) seeking behavior. 5) Fat. 6) Everything.
Yep, I’m still obsessed with Fatface: enough that I considered her enough of a highlight of my year to include in this post. Anyway, In addition to doing two more days of shooting during this portion of my visit (one for Dreams of Spanking and one for Nimue’s World) I spent a lot of time playing off-camera with Pandora:
That evening, Pandora and I somehow ended up in a competition to see who could finish posting to their blog first, which aided me quite a bit in actually getting this stuff done. Pandora, however, finished her post just slightly before I did. “I beat you to posting!” she said, “Now, I’m going to beat you in real life!”
The setting of additional rules to a competition after it’s already been completed like that is tremendously unfair. When I have a certain kind of energy with someone, though, I find unfairness delightful…
Pandora offered me a warmup, which I gladly accepted, and then put me over her lap and spanked me with her hand. It had been a long time since I was spanked by Pandora, and I was glad it was happening again. I don’t feel entirely submissive towards her, so to speak, but I do feel passive towards her in play, and I enjoy her receiving her Toppiness, and I was very comfortable with her occupying Boss-space for the moment … It felt sort of invigorating and exciting to be getting spanked by her. Once I was thoroughly warm, she directed me up onto her sofa for a whacking with a fairly big, leather paddle. I cuddled up to her stuffed dog, Fred, who is known as “Drop Dog” due to his ability to drop onto your head. “Comfort her well, Drop Dog!” Pandora instructed, “she’s going to need it!” (I liked that quite a bit, too). She gave me a spanking that was neither severe nor serious, but still hurt enough, and put me in a giggly, happy, nicely spanked mood.
Our visit was wonderful, I loved both of the shoots that we did, and I was happy to get to meet some additional awesome people like Nimue Allen, Thomas Cameron and D. When visiting time was over, Paul came to get me and I went and stayed with him for the rest of my visit. This time was laid back and extremely enjoyable. I did another day’s shooting for Northern Spanking and, just before I had to leave to go back, a day for Bars and Stripes.
Leaving to go back to America was incredibly hard for me. I had, sort of unbeknownst to me, fallen into a depression in Sioux Falls over the months leading up to my trip, and while I had been in England I realized this, because I felt like myself for the first time in a long time. I felt excitable and happy and vibrant. I didn’t want that feeling to be over. I had also grown very attached to Paul, and the thought of leaving him made my heart hurt. But all things end, and my trip ended just as the month did.
April was primarily spent trying to adapt back to my life at home in Sioux Falls, although I did steal away to NYC to visit friends and do a few shoots, and to Atlantic City for Boardwalk Badness Weekend. Boardwalk was an action-packed tour-de-force of spanking, including my first time getting spanked on a boat. Another significant “first” happened at that party: my first hand tawsing experience:
Mr. Allen instructed me regarding how to position my hands, then he said:
“This is going to hurt very, very much. Don’t move your hand.”
There’s nothing like telling me that something is going to hurt to get into my head. Such a simple thing, usually the honest truth, but I have almost no defense against it. It melts my toughness. My heart pounded and pounded. Then Mr. Allen raised the tawse and brought it down on my palm.
Then I exploded.
Or so I felt. I at least screamed a little. I had never, ever, ever felt something that hurt so much. Not the longest, hardest caning in my history. Not a heavy ebony hairbrush on my thighs. Not being smacked on the tender areas near the backs of my knees. Nothing hurt like this. It was nauseating. It was disorienting. I don’t remember moving, but I discovered that I had my hand clutched between my thighs, because it was the sort of pain that I simply had to apply pressure to. There was no other choice. Holy. Fuck. I trembled.
“Other hand,” Mr. Allen instructed. I looked up at him pleadingly, but he had a stern and serious face. That confidence and his unbending nature comforted me, pacifying me enough to stand up straight again and put my other hand out. I forced it as far away from my body as I could, looking away to avert my eyes from what was going to happen.
That’s what happened. I crumbled, sort of bent in half, rocking and rubbing my aching, burning, terribly sore hands together. I knew that there was a crowd of people around, that we were playing in a suite, but I wasn’t aware of anything around me. Just the hurting. It was all that my mind could process. I didn’t even feel entirely control of the parts of my body that I normally am, unsure of how to breathe or move my muscles.
“I can’t take two more,” I told Mr. Allen. This was huge. I’m horribly proud. It’s rare for me to beg, to protest, or try to get out of something. I am, after all, the kind of girl who intentionally gets herself into situations like this. But here, I felt that I had met my match. This hurt too much. I wasn’t tough enough for two more. I just couldn’t. There was no way. I shook my head, tears soaking down my face and gathering on my sweater.
“You can and you will,” Mr. Allen told me. “You’re going to. Put your hand out.”
I wanted to protest more. I couldn’t. I might die. I might *actually* explode. My hands might come off. I was entirely beyond rationality. Instead, I felt comforted by his statement, and my panic started to fade. I felt the tranquility of being out of control, feelings of comfort in the inevitable that Malignus had taught me to embrace long ago. I could do this. I could.
I put my first hand out again. It already felt about twice it’s usual size. I closed my eyes and tried to relax into what was going to happen. I shrieked anyway, quickly devolving into sobs again.
Somehow, I got my other hand up without having to be coaxed, with Mr. Allen praised me for before bringing the tawse down the last time. This one felt like the worst one, both my hands swollen and red and sore, my world illuminated with a white strike of agony. I fell to my knees with both hands clutched between my thighs, trying to press the hurt out of them, trying to squeeze them back to feeling their normal size. I was concerned for a moment that I might throw up, but I recovered remarkably quickly as a powerful, almighty rush of endorphins came and took me over. Mr. Allen went away for a moment and returned with a bowl of ice. I buried my hands in it, and I felt infinitely better.
“You took that well,” he said as he comforted me. I laughed.
“No, I really didn’t.” I think it was the least well I had ever taken anything.
“Well, you took it. That’s something,” he said with a supportive smile.
This post is too long to begin with, so I shall break it into thirds. Next third coming tomorrow. ♥
I left off from my year-in-review after describing June and the excitement it contained. I shall now pick back up with:
While I didn’t blog about it, I had an amazing 25th birthday on July 6th, during which I visited with friends, got to go to Bear Country (my favorite of places!) got lovely birthday spankings and received my most beloved pets, Telsa and Newton the guinea piggies, from Malignus. It was seriously great.
Later that month, I started out on a series of adventures which would keep me away from home for most of the rest of the summer. This began with Chicago Crimson Moon. I had lots of fun and met many cool people for the first time, and I got to spend more quality time with some people I really care for. From Chicago, I flew to LA for another visit, which was fun and exciting.
August started out in Los Angeles, where I got to visit with friends and eat lots of delicious ethnic treats. Especially noteworthy was the time that I spent visiting with Erica Scott and the adventures that Lily Starr and I shared. While there, I celebrated my seventh “Spankoversary” which I discovered takes place on Consensual Spanking Day. From Los Angeles, I traveled to Texas to do more shooting and have more adventures. I stayed with WYO and LLB and got to get really close with them. They’ve become some of my favorite people, and I’m really thankful to have them in my life! Near the end of my visit with them, Heather joined us there for a night and then the next morning, the two of us took off on a road trip of epic proportions which would eventually land us at the Mother of All Spanking Parties: Shadow Lane. It was an epic party where I got to meet and hang out with lots of awesome people, and, because of the company I got to keep, was probably the best party I’ve been to at present.
My regret for the month of August is that Richard Windsor didn’t spank me when we met, but I’ve set things in motion to make my future spanking from him inevitable. 🙂
September started out as a recovery month for me. I landed back in Sioux Falls after having been gone for six weeks straight and was very glad to see Malignus again. I celebrated the completion of my first year as a spanking model and my 100th blog post. I did lots and lots of sleeping to make up for time lost while on the road. After I was caught up, I had a big event. I had organized my first spanking get together, a private cabin party in Colorado. It was amazing. Things came together extremely well, and everyone had a great time. I got to see a ton of people I care about and spent lots of quality time with them. There were lots of outdoor spankings, including outdoor switchings:
We traveled on and came across a series of small, young birch trees. The area that I chose to get a cabin in happened to, entirely by chance, be largely without deciduous trees, so this was a bit of a rarity. As we viewed them, the Tops pointed out that they were very supple and swishy looking and would make excellent switches.
“Oh darn!” I exclaimed. “No one has a knife with them. What a shame. I guess we can’t have any switches.”
Robert pulled a knife out of his pocket. If life was a comic book, there would have been a “SNIKT” sound effect. My face looked like this: -_-.
Shortly after a large number of switches had been cut, we climbed up to a small tree house. We got inside and ellee and I received treehouse switchings. The joy of being in a treehouse and being spanked while viewing an incredible landscape almost took away the sting. Key word: almost.
October was the month where I SUCKED at blogging. I did basically none of it, only banking two entires. I did, however, have lots of important things happen. For one, after returning home from the cabin party, I realized that not only did I feel naturally submissive towards YS, I really liked feeling submissive towards him. There were little moments during the party where I knew that things just felt right. After consulting with ellee to make sure she was alright with it (as she is my best friend, after all) I asked YS to take me under consideration and he agreed. I think that same day, or maybe the next, ellee asked Malignus to do the same thing for her. I really like the system that was created: ellee and I have always been sisterly and there’s something that makes the world feel like it is in its proper order that we both answer to the same pair of people. It was also in October that I went to Los Angeles for more epic adventures in modeling, visited Disneyland with Lily Starr and Robert Wolf, shot Sternwood Academy, Volume 2, went to Denver and shot a billion amazing pictures with Amoni, filmed with Real Spankings AND went to Crimson Moon’s Halloween party, where my Bad Counterpart (theBadAlex) and I discovered the horrors of eyebrow threading and were probably both traumatized for life. Busy. Month.
November was another resting month, and the beginning of some winter time off. There was a drastic increase in my posting frequency during this month, due to YS’ new leadership: he implemented rules ensuring that I post frequently enough to keep everyone happy.
For Thanksgiving, Malignus and I traveled to Texas where we spent it with WYO, LLB and an assortment of other awesome spankos. It was a great time. I love being at their place: wonderful friendship, delicious food, nightly hot tubbing, hard spankings, cute puppy. What more could a girl ask for in life, really? I also spent lots of time working on plans for Malignus’ (then) upcoming birthday surprises. Near the end of the month, I got grounded from using the light on the stove for leaving it on too often. I’m including this because it still seems rather ridiculous to me, both that I would get such a simple thing wrong and that I’d end up getting so much grief for it.
December was, by leaps and bounds, the highest traffic month that my blog ever saw. This is probably largely owed to YS’ encouragement, an attempt that I started making to put more of my narrative writing skills into some of my posts and the fact that a couple of my posts ended up on Chross’ list. Certainly not without effect on this is the fact that I was nominated for Creative Spanking Blog of the Year over at The Spanking Spot, an honor which made me extremely proud. Early in the month I had kind of a break through scene with Malignus, which was also noteworthy because I feel it was one of the only times I’ve actually been able to successfully write up a scene-story in a way that could be meaningful to anyone other than myself.
The holidays descended on us! At first, our festivities began slowly, but as friends got involved, things picked up pace. We started out with one Christmas ornament: a tiny ornament of a wooden spoon with a red handle (like some awful thing that a lot of girls are familiar with). By the time New Years rolled around, we had lights, a small but beautiful tree with a bunch of great decorations on it, Christmas cookies, Christmas stockings, wrapped presents, candy and I even got Christmas pajamas. Malignus got me a Kitchenaid mixer, something I’d always dreamed about. I was a really freaking happy girl, and I had a very Merry Christmas indeed.
The highlight of the month, and possibly of the year, was Malignus’ birthday, though. I secretly planned a series of five surprises for him: first, ellee arrived at the house for a surprise visit. Then, I left the two of them alone to enjoy some time together while I snuck off and retrieved Heather Green. After their weekend ended, Malignus was pretty sure that was that was the end of his festivities. It was not. The next weekend, PTL ALSO arrived for ANOTHER secret visit! This also included his fourth surprise, a birthday cake with the words “It’s your birthday again” on it.
Needless to say, he loved it. His final surprise arrived a few days after his actual birthday: it was a book that I’d made for him. I asked as many people as I could think of who I knew were close to Malignus in some capacity to make a page for this book, expressing whatever sentiment they wanted to share. Because of time constraints and other situations, not everyone was able to participate, but I still got 20+ awesome pages, all of which brought a huge smile to Malignus’ face. Heather and I even designed a page from her dog, Lucy. Malignus likes Lucy so much he did not even think this was stupid.
By the time that New Year’s Eve rolled around, I was supposed to be finishing this post, but I instead got goofy on the one glass of champagne that I had and didn’t get around to it, preferring NOT to write when tipsy and stupid. The first day of 2013 was great, the next two, not as much, but I know things will pick up. I’m looking forward to having a wonderful year!
Thanks to everyone who made 2012 one of the best years ever. Love you guys. ♥
The story of some of the ridiculous things that have happened recently and which have prevented me from attending to my blog as thoroughly as I would like to shall be appearing soon. It’s more important to me to get this post up, first, and then chatter on about myself. Not like I won’t be chattering on in this post, but, you know!
I love underpants. I love them far too much. I like plain ones and lacy ones, cute ones and crazy ones and everything in between. One thing I had never had, however, were spanking related panties. The closest thing that I had were my “GUILTY” panties from my shoot with Spanking Court, which I absolutely love.
When I was given these at Spanking Court, I asked Katerina where they came from. She directed me to her site, Paddles and Panties, where I proceeded to oogle over just about everything. The idea of selling implements and underpants in the same place is so perfect. I’m far too fond of obtaining both of those things.
Paddles and Panties is great for several reasons, besides basically being one-stop-shopping for spankos. They offer a series of underpants with cute, spanking related sayings on the butt, and I’m happy to report that they don’t discriminate. They are available for men and in female plus sizes as well as standard female sizing. The panties themselves are well made and fit comfortably, and the text is screen-printed on in a way that looks great and holds up well to washing. I can’t say anything about dryers, though, since I hang all my underwear to dry.
|“Paddled to Perfection”
The phrases are in a variety of fonts and colors, which mixes things up quite a bit.
I’m personally very into wearing these panties to work under my regular clothes. It makes me feel the same sort of “getting away with something secret” feeling that I get when I’m hiding bruises under my skirt!
|“Seat of Education”
These are also sure to be hits at spanking parties, and make for a fun “reveal” when you pull your pants down or raise your skirt to reveal the message!
|“100% Spankable” (I’ll replace this with a better photo once I get some help: taking photos of your own butt is hard!)
I have had a chance to be spanked with several of the implements sold on their site, as well, and they’re quality stuff. I’m most familiar with their wooden pieces, and they really sting a lot! I also discovered that the horrible black spoon which Dana Kane spanked us Sternwood Girls with comes from them! That was an unforgettable implement. It was one of the worst spoons ever (pretty much only topped by “Ben”). You can pick that up if you really want to teach someone a lesson or eight!
They also have this fun thing called “Spanko Lotto” which is basically a scratch off lottery card for spanking! You pick a box and it tells you how many swats and with what implement you are to be spanked. It’s a fun little thing and really adorable.
I recommend that you check their site out and pick up one or two items that catch your eye. They’re run by awesome people who are offering a unique and well made product. I give them my highest “marks.” 😛
When Heather, Malignus and I were in Los Angeles, we attended an event called Bizarre Bazar. There were a bunch of vendors and lots of fun, kinky events. At the vendor fair, Heather picked out her first personal implement: a green, acrylic cane made by Rods by Rane, an implement seller local to California.
|Photo from Rods by Rane’s site
The cane is very pretty, and it seems to vary intensities quite well. It’s also a good mid-length cane: a bit long for OTK, but easy to get locational accuracy and use in smaller spaces. Because it’s acrylic and not particularly long, it’s one of the most “stern” or rigid canes that we’ve used (aside from bamboo and thicker lexan canes). It has a deep, penetrating, straight-to-the-bone kind of cutting, thuddy pain when used with a lot of force. When the Top wants it to be, it can be one of more intimidating implements. When used lightly, it can be relaxingly percussive or fall into the area of “almost nice”.
Here’s a photo after 30 strokes I received from Malignus:
|The bruise on the left was caused by a paddling I received the day before.
As my good friend Maddy can attest, (since she has a rod from them as well, affectionately known as “the blue thing”) these canes are killer when used on thighs.
Heather’s original cane broke when Malignus was giving me a beating with it, but when I emailed Rane about it, he was extremely personable and friendly. He sent a replacement piece, along with a thin, more flexible, stingy cane in pink acrylic to make up for the trouble. The thinner cane is ridiculously stingy. It takes minimal effort for a Top to snap it back and forth in a way that makes it look like little is happening, but feels like you are being stung by a lot of bees.
|Photo from Rods by Rane’s Site
We used the green cane in our St. Patrick’s day caning video. I’d absolutely recommend the 1/2 inch canes for anyone who wants a nice, mid length, versatile acrylic cane. The color selection is great and you can find ones that fit various holidays or themes like we did in the video. The thinner, 3/8 inch cane needs to be used properly to be effective: using it like a heavier cane or with too much momentum would probably cause it to break. It doesn’t require much effort or force, but would be ideal for Tops with finesse in their spanking style.
Rods by Rane’s site also sells acrylic bundles to be used for sensation play and spiral canes. I’ve seen these “Unicorn Horn” style canes a few places and I’ve been curious about them, but I’ve yet to give them a try. They’re very pretty to look at, though! It’s a very specialized store: they only sell pieces made of acrylic and they only sell rods/canes/bundles. No paddles in their line up. It’s not exactly one-stop-shopping for all your beating needs, but if you’re looking for what they offer, it’s definitely a place to check out.