I want to start tonight’s post by saying thank you to everyone who reached out to me regarding last night’s post, either in comments, via email or by way of fetlife message. It turns out that I’m not the only girl who feels too big sometimes. Having a problem to which there is no solution but to change one’s attitude isn’t actually improved upon by knowing that one is not the only individual struggling with said issue, but there’s still something incredibly wonderful about knowing that you aren’t alone. When these moments come up, when I get vulnerable and explain something which I believe makes me odd and I’m met with the support of my friends and the understanding of others who struggle with similar issues, I’m reminded of why I got into the community in the first place. I remember the first day that I realized that other people were into spanking and I wasn’t some kind of bizarre weirdo. It’s such a good feeling that it makes me tear up a little bit. I can’t say enough times how thankful I am for the family that I’ve made in the scene. It seems to be constantly growing, too, and I’m grateful for that, as well. One can never have too many friends, and that’s a scientific fact because Hello Kitty said so.
This weekend, I got to spend a little time with a girl who was meeting other spankos in real life for the very first time. We didn’t really talk about things very much, because we haven’t gotten to know each other well yet and I think that we both felt some level of shyness, but it made me really happy in the heart-bits. Aside from people who I met in the Vanilla world who later turned out to be spankos (like V. and Peachy Keane), I don’t think I’ve ever been one of the first people that someone met in the community. I’m glad that I got to be part of that. 😀
Well, now that I’ve gotten all the heartwarming stuff out of the way, it’s time to talk about all sorts of cool developments that have been happening for me as a spanking model and spanking writer. I also want to add that I hate the word “heartwarming” because it sounds like “heart worming” to me and makes me think of diseased dogs. (I swear I haven’t been drinking. It’s just 90 degrees in the middle of the night and we don’t have air conditioning in my bedroom. -_-)
You may have noticed that I was interviewed by The Cameraman over on The Spanking View recently! Here’s a snippit from the interview:
|It’s me, giving Clare Fonda her last spanking from a female!|
Anyway, you should check out the rest of the interview if you haven’t already, and keep up with The Spanking View. I’m very fond of The Cameraman, and I’m looking forward to working with him again this fall. 😀
Next, there’s the fact that a snippet from one of my posts about TASSP was featured on Spanking Blog! This was tremendously exciting for me because I’ve read Spanking Blog for a long time: the site is actually how I discovered what a “blog” was, and I read it before I had even received my first spanking. So, that was pretty cool and exciting for me. It made me feel very “legit” when I looked at my top traffic sources and saw that one of them was from them. “Huh? People are getting to my site from there? This isn’t a list of places that I’ve been looking at?” If you don’t already follow them, you absolutely should. I like the way that they feature snippits from other people’s posts and stories, and I’ve followed their crumbs to lots of great stuff.
Next, I’m very pleased to announce that my essay “Sex and Spanking: A Personal Perspective” was published in Wellred Weekly’s issue 9. Wellred Weekly is a great spanking publication. Real care and effort goes into the selection of the pieces, the presentation on their site and keeping a balance between the various sorts of writing and features that they include. I was really honored when I was approached to be included, and I hope that you enjoy reading issue 9. 😀
Last but most certainly not least, I’ve got my Clips 4 Sale store up and running after months and months of it…not happening for various reasons. I have more content that I’ll be uploading weekly, and I have plans to shoot plenty of brand new, exclusive content. I’ll be introducing a brand new, never before seen spanking model sometime soon, too.
Now that I’m producing my own clips, I’m open to suggestions. Just drop me a line at email@example.com. 🙂
Well, that’s all for tonight! I need to go take an ice-cold shower before I try to get myself to pass out in order to avoid heat-exhaustion.
The morning of my second day at TASSP, I had planned with Pandora Blake to shoot some videos for our respective sites. This was very exciting indeed– I had developed a bit of an internet crush on Pandora, and I was really looking forward to spending more time around her. We’d gotten to chat in Ten’s room the night before, during which time she assisted me in drawing a cat on the bottom of IMLX’s foot. I knew we were going to be good friends.
So, that morning, I arrived at Ten’s room rather bright and early, considering that we’d been up late partying. Amelia was there, as well, and the two of them were already quite put together and perky. Ten and drlectr had a beautiful suite, where we did all of our filming that weekend. Pandora and I filmed two scenes, which will be released later on both my site and Dreams of Spanking, during which time I’ll be making my international debut. Amelia was very helpful in creating the scenes, and I really enjoyed both girls’ abilities to think on their feet and role play. This is something I’ve been trying to get my skills up in, and I think I did a fairly good job. I’ll save the story lines of both videos for when they are released, but Pandora spanked me thoroughly in both of them, and we had a ball filming.
There was a funny moment when Pandora needed to put on a garter belt (in England, a “suspender belt,” which happens to be the word that I usually use as well, because it’s a concept that I was introduced to by SF’s wife) to go with some stockings, but she only had cute, cotton panties with aliens on them. The look was kind of epic win. It had to be documented.
After we finished filming, Malignus was waiting for me to meet up with him for something that we’d been waiting for for a while now: the Vendor Fair. I like vendor fairs in general, because I love looking at implements and kink related things, and this was my first spanking only vendor fair. It was a much bigger deal than that: we were running a booth.
For a while now, Malignus and I have been working on a business project: a modeling agency for spanking models, run by real spankos who are familiar with the business. We’d worked hard on the behind the scenes things for some time, and had agreed that we were going to unveil for the first time at TASSP. We made up flyers and business cards, and we had everything ready to go. Zoey Wicks, who we had met on the first day and who had been talking to Malignus for a while beforehand, had helped Malignus staple a bunch of packets together while I was shooting with Pandora, and she and Heather helped Malignus and I man the booth.
There will be lots of posting about the Agency later on, but for now, I’ll say this: we’re working with some great models thus far and are building awesome connections in terms of production companies. Starting something like this from the ground up has been a tremendous amount of work, and it’s part of the reason that you have seen a decreased amount of posting from me before Scotchgrove got on my case about working on posts every day. There’s literally an infinite amount of things that need to be done, but it’s rewarding work. Having our table at the vendor fair and giving out our information was very, very rewarding.
If you want more information about being represented or have questions about what we do at the Agency, shoot us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please don’t email that address with questions concerning my blog or my personal modeling career– those still go to email@example.com.
Anyway, the vendor fair was a great success, even though I didn’t buy anything. I did get a few spankings from drlectr in order to draw attention over to my booth (which was right next to Ten’s). During the fair, there was a silent auction to benefit the American Cancer Society. Items had been donated and we all were able to go around and bid on them. I bid on two things: a set of implements including a vintage hairbrush (I don’t even remember what the others were because that was the one that I wanted) and a heart shaped wooden paddle. I’ve been trying to get a vintage hairbrush again ever since the one that S_F gave me ages ago was stolen out of my purse at a munch, but, probably because normal people also collect vintage toilet items, they are always expensive on eBay and they never show up at thrift stores because the idea of buying a “thrift” toilet item is gross. The heart shaped paddle was just adorable and I love cute things. I didn’t win either of my lots, but a friend bid on the heart paddle on my behalf and won it. He then gave it to me as a gift. How sweet is that ? 😀
Immediately after the vendor fair, Heather and I went to get ready to do a shoot with Paul “Tubaman” Rodgers for Spanking 101. It was a very fun shoot because Heather and I were both being spanked in it! As I’ve previously stated, I love working with Heather in videos. We give each other tips and tricks in the “backstage” and she has such a great energy on set. Besides, I’d imagine that the fact that we’re real-life best friends shows through pretty well on camera. In this video, though, we were pretending to be for-real sisters instead of just spanko-sisters, and we took turns getting pulled over Paul’s lap to be punished for staying out too late. It was a lot of excitement: first I was standing there, watching Heather get spanked and looking very worried indeed, then I was the one getting spanked! Then it was over, but only for a minute, and I had to watch Heather again and so on. I haven’t seen it yet, but I bet that video turned out really well, given everyone’s chemistry.
Paul is an awesome spanker, by the way. He spanked me on the first night because I’d lost my lanyard and name tag already and I asked him for a new one, and then sheepishly asked him to correct me for losing it (this may have been a very well played move on my part, since I avoided “actual” trouble for losing my name tag). He took me by the wrist and brought me over to the sofa, then put me over his lap and spanked me with his hand. I was really impressed with the strength of his hand spanking! Only a handful of other Tops had made that level of impression within a few swats with their hand. Anyway, I really enjoyed being spanked by him for the video, as well, and can’t wait to get a chance to work with him again.
I spent lots of time hanging out with friends, and then I had yet another shoot! I met up with Gary from Amateur Spankings earlier and asked him if I could work with him for his site and he said yes! I had already kind of assumed that I wasn’t the kind of girl that they were looking for since they state that their models “aren’t spanking models,” but he hired me for an interview and a quick spanking. I do have that “girl next door” kind of look. It was very fun getting interviewed on camera. I’ve been interviewed for blogs twice before, now, but I’d never been interviewed “live.” I told him the story of my first spanking, and about how I thought about spanking growing up, and about how I came to be part of “the scene” and do videos and have an amazing boyfriend who lovingly spanks the living daylights out of me on a regular basis.
I was finished with this shoot slightly after the start of dinner, so I snuck in to find that Malignus and company had not only saved me a spot, they had saved me my meal. It was sitting under one of those little metal domes for keeping food warm that I’d only seen in movies up until then. I ate happily as there were a series of entertainment acts performed. Sarah Gregory and Princess Kelley sang, Art Amiss did a hilarious standup comedy routine and BlackVelvet did a spanking themed parody song. It was a lot of fun, and the food was excellent.
The rest of the night was a blur of having fun with friends in various ways. I played with a lot of people, had some excellent private time with people that I love and spent lots of time chatting and making new friends.
By the time I got ready for bed, I was very happily red-bottomed and incredibly sleepy. I slept well throughout the night.
|Well spanked in pajamas! Bedtime!|
In the current world, I am also going to bed! What a coincidence! I’ll finish the story of TASSP and move on to other tales before the end of this week. <3
*NOTE* This is a very photos-of-my-butt heavy post. If you don’t like photos of my butt, you should probably not read my blog or hang out with me.
During my very brief hiatus (in which I struggled with new work hours, health issues and chronic insomnia to the point where I think I was bordering on having the actual medical condition of exhaustion) I wasn’t keeping track of who was paying attention to me on the internet. This is very unlike me and yet another sign that things weren’t going well for me. Fortunately, despite the fact that I had a 15 hour status migranous earlier and the fact that the “L” key on my laptop is headed the way of the comma and period (that is to say, the land of malfunction) and that’s a huge bother because I have to type L every time I write my fricken name, I’m in a good mood today and I’m ready to sort through where I’ve been in my own absence. I also have this giant bowl of ice cream to help:
|Ok- it’s mostly fruit. Still remarkable.|
Clare Fonda uploaded the content from our awesome shoot when I was visiting LA to Girl Spanks Girl, which is very exciting indeed! This shoot brought me my very first galleries of free spanking photos, which is pretty cool, and therefore, lots of people have been posting about it.
Spanking.su posted a blog post about it with a link to two galleries of me. Apparently the fact that I got my mouth washed out with soap was rather noteworthy and enjoyed by a number of people (one of those people was not me, but I suppose that’s the point.) It’s not something I do in my personal life, but it certainly lent itself well to the theme of the story and I had no problem doing it for the video.
Domestic Spanking Blog did a write up that featured similar mouth soaping photos. Again, I guess people like it!
|I like my concerned face and the socks best about this photo!|
Spank Badass had a couple of posts about me, as well. I enjoy hearing reviews which mention that I’m used to pain because I’m rather proud of/obsessed with my own tolerance. They posted this photo of me and Clare, which seems to be pretty popular. I’ve got this kind of wincing smile, probably because it “hurts so good.”
Femdom Destiny features photos from another set that we did that day. I’m wearing a bow in my hair in these that was made for me by one of my all time best friends, ellee. ^_^
|Again with the worried face!|
|OK! I had reason to be worried!|
Amateur OTK Spanking Blog wrote about another set that I did– one that I particularly liked because it involved pajamas which are simply the coziest thing to be spanked while wearing.
|With good reason!|
I’m now featured on the Clare Fonda Pass models page, and I’m kind of in love with my doe-eyed expression there.
On a note unrelated to my shoot with Clare, Spanking Fetish Clips has a bit about my most recent shoot with Assume the Position Studios and my fun, Hunger Games Spanking Fan Fiction video that I filmed along with Christy Cutie. If you haven’t checked that out, you should!
|Christy and I being adorable friendsies pre-spanking|
|My lovely bottom in its most natural of states!|
Finally, I only recently became aware of the fact that my Chelsea Spanks… shoot is available on DVD now! I’m partnered with Mei Mara. In case you’ve forgotten how awesome that shoot was, here’s a refresher:
If I were you, I would buy that.
Finally, my friend over at The Spanking Resource has a piece about the Spankingtube preview of my newest video with Lily Starr Spanking. I really appreciate the attention! I’ll be posting a lot more about that video soon.
That’s all I could track down about myself! I hope you guys are as excited as I was about all the new content!
I’ve been kind of a busy bee this past week, and I haven’t had a lot of chances to get blogging done. SAD FACE! Right now, I’m sitting in my car on a break from work, writing this while eating blackberries and almonds for lunch.
Heather and I got A LOT of positive response to our first few publicly available videos. It’s been really lovely to here that people now consider themselves our fans and that people are looking forward to more videos from us. We’ll certainly be working on that over the next few days: we have A LOT of great ideas for videos of all sorts. I was really excited to have this piece about me include on The Spanking Resource and to be listed on Barely Pink’s Tuesday Tingles.
I also received an awesome “Thank you” package from Cane-iac, thanking me for sharing some of my writing on their site. They sent me a Twisted Delrin Loop and three new items that aren’t available on their site yet. They’re all serious business implements, and two of the new ones are colorful and beautiful. All of them are excellently made. I haven’t done any hard play recently because I’m trying to remain unmarked for my trip to LA (I’m heading there primarily to do modeling and I thus far have seven shoots booked. Gotta keep that skin pristine!) but I’m looking forward to getting murdered with them when I get back. I’ll be doing a full post about these awesome new things next week.
Speaking of packages, I sent one to my bestie, ellee, because I found pretty much the best spoons ever in a kitchen store in Sioux Falls:
|Like this post, this photo comes from my car!|
They only had one puppy one, so I got it for myself because I am greedy, but I got ellee the kitty spoon! It’s kinda too bad they didn’t have a bunny one. 😛 The kitty spoon quickly spiraled into a full out care package because buying cute gifts for cute friends is just fun. I then decorated the box and sent it to her husband’s work address. I’m very proud of my coloring skillz so I am uploading some box photos:
I know this isn’t “Alex in Coloringland” so you probably don’t care that much, but I think that I’m awesome.
Finally, I recently purchased a whole pile of different types of bathbrushes to start a “battle of the bathbrushes” series of posts where I find out which ones are the best/worst. I haven’t started this yet because I haven’t had the right combination of bravery and free time. Malignus did, however, hit me on the inner thigh with one of them. He then used a wooden spoon to make “ears” because he was trying to make a Mickey Mouse shape (since the bathbrush mark was perfectly round). It then looked “too much like a kitty or other cute animal” so he “erased it” by hitting me a bunch more times with the bathbrush:
I realized that I left a very important announcement off my blog: Heather came back!
In case you haven’t been following along, Heather is one of my best friends and a fellow spanko bottom. I met her through Malignus over fetlife, and she was actually the first person outside of LA that I met from the internet when we visited her in Northern California on my way back from visiting a girlfriend up there. The two of us got along swimmingly, and a friendship that I hope I’ll have for the rest of my life was born. She came to LA to help me move to South Dakota, and because of changing situations in her life, she ended up staying out here with Malignus and I for two months. Now she’s back, and she’ll be with us for a few more months. It’s VERY nice having her here. We have a lot of fun together, she helps me with girl stuff, we get spanked together and we decided to start making videos together.
Long before I ever thought I’d be a spanking model, Heather and I made a video in which she spanked me with celery stalks. It was the first video of a spanking I was ever involved in. We did this because it was a weird train of connections and inside jokes and we’re just strange girls like that. We’ve since then talked quite a bit about other videos that we could make that included strange implements. You have to remember that the two of us go through pretty much any store and find things that we think could be used to spank someone. It’s like a hobby for us.
From these ideas, we created the idea for “Does This Hurt?!” It’s a mini-series of free spanking videos in which Heather and I will spank each other with strange pervertables to see which ones hurt and which ones don’t. We’ve only filmed the first episode thus far, but you can expect things ranging from the “almost normal” to the “0_0” (but nothing gross. Don’t worry!)
Our first video is entitled “Trout” and features a cutting board which was purchased at a Sioux Falls area thrift store. I can’t tell you why, but I think that it is the most freaking hilarious thing ever. I can’t stop saying the word “trout.”
Please enjoy the first video. We’re aiming to release one per week.
You know what a blog is great for? Shameless self promotion. I shall now direct you to two lovely things.
First, a piece of my writing (an edited version of this post) is now being included in the “Great Reads” section of Cane-iac’s website! I’m thrilled to be included here. I haven’t been asked to endorse them or anything, but I must say that the people who run the company and site are just lovely, that I’ve gotten the best customer service imaginable when ordering from them and that their implements are of the highest and most painful quality.
Additionally, I’m working on a few minor ways to improve this blog. Changes may be appearing as early as tonight, but I’m not making any promises. Thus far, the only visible differences appear to those who view my source code.
Those of you who follow me on fetlife know that I had a fairly rough day yesterday, and I’m still kind of recovering from that. I basically had insomnia the night before and didn’t sleep at all, and then had a few stressful things happen and then had stress induced insomnia until about 3 AM. I then got up and went to work, but I was able to come home early and get a refreshing nap in. It was seriously some of the best sleep I’ve ever had in my life.
|That’s my “I just woke up” face!|
I shall now be continuing on to Day Two of the Ten Day Journaling Meme!
9 Things About Myself:
1) My legal name is extremely long and includes two hyphens.
2) Before the onset of her Lupus, my mother was a professional ballerina. I was therefore forced into taking ballet for ten years. I was horrible at it and no one liked me there. I then took ballet in college to try to prove to myself that I could be good at it. I was horrible at it and no one liked me there. So I gave up.
3) I almost never wear a bra. The size and shape of my breasts don’t require it. I’m kind of enamored with my own boobs. Like, a lot.
4) I am pretty sure I will never stop wanting to buy more pervertables and underpants. Every store I go into, I look at them.
5)The longest time that I ever spent in a corner was two and a half hours.
6) That popular quote is wrong for me: my deepest fear IS that I am inadequate.
7) When I was sixteen, I could buy alcohol without being carded. Now, I frequently get mistaken for a minor. It makes me really uncomfortable to think that I’ve gotten younger looking in the last eight years.
8) There have been days that were more significant or “greater,” but the happiest day of my life was when Malignus took me to Bear Country USA. Looking at baby bears with a person who I’d recently realized I was in love with while I had a ridiculously sore bottom from having gotten a ton of spankings the week before is pretty hard to top. That was the day that I truly understood what it meant to allow myself to feel and focus on only good things for a little while. Also, the baby bears chewed each other’s ears and smelled like puppies.
9) I love being in school. I wish that being a professional student was practical/possible.