A Sort of Q and A

On a regular basis, I look at what search terms get me the most traffic. I’m not obsessed with search engine optimization or anything, but I do like to know what people are looking for when they come here. From time to time, though, I sort through the less popular search terms. I’ll go through the whole list! Some of them are laughably weird. Others are more of what I’d expect. There are quite a few people that reach my blog by typing a question into a search engine. This is a practice that makes me think of my friend and former blogger Sophie, who first discovered the internet spanking world by typing “How do I get a spanking” into a search engine.
I’ve decided that I’m going to go through and directly answer the questions that were posed to me indirectly through the form of my search terms. Sounds like fun to me. 🙂

Q: How do I care for a spanked bottom?
A: I recommend referring to this post for detailed information on the subject. In the immediate short term, I recommend ice, lotion and, if available, gentle butt massage. 🙂

Q: Are spankings really enjoyable?
A: My immediate answer to this would be “fuck yes!” because to me, there’s no question. There are a lot of intricacies to this, though. For example, disciplinary spankings are by no means enjoyable, even though they are important to me and an extremely effective tool in the process of my amelioration and growth. Other spankings are only enjoyable because of the feeling of submission which they conjure up in my heart and the satisfaction of knowing that it pleased my partner to spank me in such a manner. At the end of the day, though, being spanked by someone who loves me makes me feel loved, no matter the situation or atmosphere. There are always going to be spankings that are less enjoyable: the awkward ones when getting to know a play partner, the guy at a party whose style just doesn’t click with you at all, the Top you don’t really know who accidentally crosses some kind of line, et cetera. So, I can’t say that ALL spankings are enjoyable, but as a general rule, yes, spankings are awesome.
THAT SAID, I am speaking from the viewpoint of a true, hardwired spanko. I sometimes try to imagine what it would be like for someone who is not one such to experience a spanking. I would imagine that for someone with other interests in bottoming in the kink community, it could be anything from a nice change of pace to slightly humiliating to downright strange. Those who aren’t already interested in having painful things done to them would probably be extremely shaken. I can’t begin to fathom what it would be like for a vanilla person to experience the kinds of spankings that I do. I’ve talked to a number of Tops who really fetishize the idea of spanking a vanilla girl, but it just seems really, really awful to me (unless, of course, you only gave her a very symbolic spanking).
To finalize my excessively long answer to this, spankings are almost always enjoyable in some form, if you’re a spanko or a kinkster interested in spanking. Whew!

Q: Black nylon cane. Good?
A: I have a black nylon cane. It was a gift to me from SF. It’s one of the harshest implements I own, and it’s pretty scary. Malignus is impressive skilled at caning and he uses it well, but because it’s a very dynamic implement and has enormous flexibility, it’s very difficult to manage. If you’re a Top who is good with canes and looking for something whippy, flexible and capable of delivering a world of hurt, then yes, it’s good. If you’re a bottom, no, it’s not, unless you’re really looking to be sorry, want to be pushed to submit or are a crazy masochist.

Q: Capsaicin cream before or after spanking?
A: As a general rule, when capsaicin has been applied to me, it’s been after a spanking. I have had it applied and then been given additional swats to the area (this was on my inner thigh) and said additional swats felt horrible and made me roll around all over the floor. I suppose it could be used before, in order to make the entire spanking feel like that. Be careful to avoid getting it in eyes, nose et cetera, and not to get it on broken skin. Multiple reports suggest that this is actual torture.
Or, you know, you could be a nice person and not use it all unless you have arthritis and need to warm your joints. That’d be cool, too.

Q: Describe a spanking with an ebony hairbrush.
A: Heather W, in one of our first conversations, described it like this: “…then he spanked me with an ebony hairbrush, which, in case you weren’t aware, is no different than a ROCK.” The material which is closest in effect to an ebony hairbrush, in my opinion, is a small, thick lexan paddle. Ebony is just different than other wood, in a “oh holy mother of god, this hurts!” kind of way. It’s heavy, and hairbrushes have a small spanking surface, so they provide very concentrated pain. They’re also usually a pretty comfortable shape for the spanker to hold, so they can get a good grip and really get you with it. While I really hate being spanked with my ebony hairbrush, it’s something that I do appreciate, because it’s highly effective. It’s a formidable implement. That’s the best phrasing I have for it.

Q: Did God make the butt for spanking?
A: No. In my opinion, God didn’t make the butt for anything, because I entirely reject the belief in deities and in creationism. However, the evolutionary purpose of the human buttocks is not related to spanking, either. Rounded butts on female humans evolved for the purposes of showing off estrogen levels and healthy amounts of fat stores, and to emphasize the size and shape of pelvis and highlight the child-bearing capacity there of. Aside from protecting the tailbone, a fleshy butt seems to have no evolutionary purpose besides to look hot. The cultural evolution of the concept of spanking (both consensual and otherwise) is something that fascinates me, and which I’d like to learn more about in the future, especially as it links to the confusing nature of how, exactly, spankos came to exist.

Q: Do girls like to be spanked in tight jeans?
A: As a general rule, I wouldn’t even say “girls like to be spanked” at all, as I described in an earlier question. I’d personally rather be spanked on my bare bottom than on jeans, because of the increased vulnerability and the fact that this feels warmer and closer to the “ideal spanking” which is imprinted somewhere in my mind as a comfort zone. I do appreciate the protection that jeans can give me, and the nifty fact that when Malignus hits me really hard with a cane over my jeans, it leaves cane stripes on the denim!

Note, I have a crazy wedgie here because my ass was swollen from getting spanked all weekend long and didn’t fit properly in my jeans at the moment this was taken.

 Q: Does it make a spanked bottom feel better to rub it?
A: It won’t cure it, but rubs definitely feel nice on a spanked bottom. The appropriate amount of firmness depends on just how sore the bottom is, but I’ve never been spanked in such a way that at least light rubbing wasn’t soothing.

Q: How do you heal a bruise caused by spanking your wife?
A: Arnica is supposed to reduce bruising, but I don’t use it. I’ve never seen much of a difference whether I used it or not, and it often just dries my skin out. I find that the immediate application of ice followed by massaging and sometimes gentle hand-spanking is the best way to prevent and then get rid of bruising.

Q: Help me become a spanking model?
A: Email me at alexinspankingland@gmail.com if you want more information about this!

Q: How are cane-iac products labeled when shipping?
A: They arrive in a long, cardboard package with no spanking related words anywhere on the package. I can’t remember the name on the return address, but it’s just a kind of unusual sounding name.

Q: How old were you when you got your first spanking from your boyfriend?
A: I, personally, didn’t get a spanking from a boyfriend until I was 24 and Malignus became my boyfriend. I got spanked for the first time when I was 18, but I always had different Tops than boyfriends until Malignus. 🙂

Q: How do I hire a spanking model?
A: This is another more complex and business related question which I will answer if you email me. 🙂

Q: Is capzacin ok to use on a bruise butt for spankings? [sic]A: It is safe to apply capsaicin cream to a butt after a spanking whether or not bruising is present. It won’t decrease bruising, and anyone who is telling you so is just lying to you to try and trick you into accepting the cream. Capsaicin hurts a lot. Some people enjoy this kind of hurting, while others stand in front of a fan for hours while crying. I lean more to the side of “standing in front of a fan crying” but it’s different for everyone. 😀

Q: Should a punishment spanking cause crying and tears?
A: There really isn’t any “should” to spankings in my opinion, aside from the fact that I very firmly believe that only consenting adults should be spanked. In my case, disciplinary spankings pretty much always cause me to cry, and I wouldn’t feel properly chastised if it ended before the point of tears for some reason, and I’d probably ask to be spanked more and harder. It really depends on the person, though. Some people just can’t cry from a spanking.

Q: Should a spanking leave a woman’s bottom bruised?
A: Again, there’s no “should” here. It’s hard to bruise my bottom at this point, although Malignus did succeed at that this weekend. I used to bruise at basically a touch, so it was impossible for me not to be bruised after a spanking. Those physiological differences have to be accounted for, as do social reasons such as people who might see bruises or welts and not accept them and, of course, the preferences of both partners.

Q: What is a spanko?
A: A spanko is a person who fetishizes spanking, or a person involved in BDSM who has a strong preference for spanking related activities. A “hardwired spanko” is a person who has had an interest in or obsession with spanking since their early life and a “spanko purist” is someone who only fetishizes spanking and not other BDSM activities.

Q: Will my first spanking make me cry?
A: This really depends on you. Mine did, although not immediately. About half way into it, I started to cry, and I ended up really sobbing and bawling. This was mostly because it felt so goddamn good to be finally getting a spanking, and I was able to finally let go of all the anxiety that I’d built up around it from the time that I was a child. Some people do not cry the first time they are spanked, but later become comfortable enough with spanking, their Top, themselves et cetera to be able to cry. Some people never cry from a spanking. This is a frustration to some, but others don’t really have any interest in it. It depends on you. 🙂

For whatever reason, I had a lot of fun doing this. Hooray!