Alex in Spankingland

Regarding Baring

Published January 28, 2013

I know I haven’t been posting as often as I usually do, recently. This is largely due to the fact that I’ve been going out of town (but still in my general area) nearly every day and it’s been throwing off my usual schedule. Still, I know I’ve been a bad blogger, so please forgive me!

I’ve had a few things happen recently that have made me think about baring. The thought process started when I was filming for Real Spankings recently. It was up to me if I wanted to take my caning and paddling on the bare or over my jeans. It was one of those choices that wasn’t hard to make, but was hard to admit to myself. I knew that I wanted both of them to be on the bare from the moment that I was given the choice. I just spent a long time stewing over this before finally admitting it.

It is a counter intuitive thing to want, really. Why would I rather be spanked in a way that offers less protection? It got me thinking. The truth is, baring is a very important part of the ritual of a spanking for me, and it is one of the things that makes a spanking feel “real” to me.

Me being paddled by Danny for “School Swats” on Realspankings.com

At home, when Malignus is going to spank me, I’m usually expected to get into position without being directly told. At this point in our D/s relationship, a considerable amount can be communicated silently, and hesitation is usually met with just “the look.” Part of getting into position involves baring. It’s not something we ever talk about. It just happens. A couple of times, he’s started spontaneously spanking me and has sort of pulled me into position and pulled my panties down rather roughly before continuing, but that’s certainly the exception. This works for me, especially in our relationship. I think that part of the reason why I like baring is because it makes me more vulnerable and it’s usually something which I do myself. This makes it part of my active submission, and helps a great deal towards my acceptance of a spanking.

In other scenes, though, I can really enjoy having my panties pulled down for me. In a scene that was recently released on Northern Spanking, there are a few shots of Stephen Lewis pulling my panties up to expose my sit spots first, and then down to spank me entirely bare. They’re some of my favorite spanking photos of myself now. Something about the way in which he’s pulling the fabric puts me right back into that headspace, and I can feel the sudden rush of vulnerability that comes from realizing that my panties are coming down. Every time I look at these, I shiver with delightful fear:

Me being spanked by Stephen Lewis, from Northernspanking.

At parties, I often play with my panties still on, especially with people that I don’t know. This is because I don’t necessarily want a spanking to hit all my buttons when I’m just getting to know someone. I need to have trust in order to have vulnerability. I need to have a reason to feel safe with a spanking that feels very real and intense. It’s not a rule that I always want it this way all the time.

It’s funny: despite all the things I’ve written about on this blog, all the videos I’ve done and all the experiences I’ve had, this is the post that has been the hardest for me to write. It makes me squirm a little. It makes my tummy feel a bit funny. It hits on something very key to my spanking experience, and makes me blush a little, sort of the way that I still have trouble saying the phrase “bare bottom spanking” aloud sometimes. There’s something a bit cute about that shyness, I guess, but it does make me a little bit awkward. As a result, this post will be shorter than usual, but will have taken me over twice as long to write. C’est la vie.

What are your thoughts on baring? Is it an integral part of your kink? Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you associate it with intimacy? Am I the only one who finds it slightly embarrassing to talk about? I want to know. ♥

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Baring, Northern Spanking, Questions, Real Spankings, spanking pictures | 10 Comments

The Cane: Not Exactly a Love Story

Published January 18, 2013

Since I recently shot my School Strokes interview at Real Spankings, I uploaded a couple of the photos to my Fetlife profile. I tend to do this: I like to show off what I’ve been up to, and I get to direct attention towards the awesome companies that I’m lucky enough to work with.

The inclusion of these caning photos sparked a small conversation: do I like being caned or not? I gave the shortest answer I could possibly give, since this conversation was being conducted via photo comments: “I have a love/hate relationship with the cane.” I guess this didn’t answer people’s questions. I got several private messages asking me to explain what, exactly, that means. I’m choosing to do so here. 🙂

For one thing, caning is a lower proximity activity than an OTK spanking and is therefore less comforting to me. This is not to say that it is uncomfortable. It just doesn’t carry the same warm, safe feeling that being OTK gives me. Caning also has trouble escaping its formal roots, and it doesn’t lend itself to being relaxing because of this. These things place caning farther away from the circle of comfort for me and therefore, for more intense caning scenes, requires a greater amount of trust in my partner.

There’s also the fact that caning lends itself well to intensity and, even when not done severely, it is usually paced in a way that feels concentrated and deliberate. The pacing does a lot for me. It makes each stroke very significant. It slows the world down, and can make a time frame of less than a minute in which six strokes are delivered feel like a very long time.

Canes hurt in a very unique way. They tend to build. A few seconds after the initial impact, there’s that second, deeper pain. Individual strokes feel like pinching or biting combined with a bit of a punch instead of the traditional stinging, swatting, burning feeling of small headed implements like hairbrushes or wooden spoons (the implements that I favor) or the “knocks the wind out of you,” full bodied pain which accompanies a thuddy implement like a frat paddle. Cane strokes often create welts, which may take longer to heal and which hold in the pain for a while in a way that is different than other spankings.

Is all this good or bad? Why can’t you just answer the question, Alex?
It’s both. I feel my heart in my chest when someone that I enjoy being spanked by instructs me to get a cane, or when he holds one menacingly between his hands, flexing it and taunting me. I’ve been brought to tears simply by the sound of a cane being whooshed back and forth or colliding with the mattress as a demonstration. It scares me. It intimidates me. With someone I know and trust, I like that. I like how much I don’t like the way a caning feels. I like being instructed to get into position for an implement that I’d never in a thousand years select for myself if I was given a set of choices. I like it when it pleases Malignus to cane me. He went on a “kick” for a particular cane at one point, and would grab me and bring me into the bedroom for it multiple times a day, just arbitrarily, because he liked hitting me with it. As much as I didn’t actually enjoy the caning (it often brought tears to my eyes), I loved how much he was enjoying doing it. Getting something which sort of scares me, which sort of pushes boundaries, which wouldn’t be my first choice makes me feel wonderfully submissive. The afterglow of a caning is always filled with adrenaline, some level of endorphines and pride.

Another think which I actually like about caning is its ability to overwhelm me. This is something I’ve talked about before. I like it, in certain contexts, when a spanking can overwhelm me and push me beyond my usual level of resistance. I like feeling all my energy used up. I like feeling the fight go out of me. Especially when used after other implements, hard cane strokes can really do this to me. In fact, two of my most significant subspace experiences involved caning, and I’m forever appreciative towards cane-kind for that.

So, in summary, it’s both. Yes, I’ve stomped my foot and thrown a big protest at the announcement that I was going to be caned, and no, I can’t think of a time when I said “You know what I’d like? The cane!” but at the same time, I have nothing but warm feelings… especially those coming in the form of lines.

Head over to Real Spankings to see my interview for more cane-conversation. ♥

Posted in Photoshoots | Tagged Caning, Photos, Real Spankings, Subspace | 22 Comments

I’m a Winner!

Published January 17, 2013

Last night, I sat down to work on a blog post, since I haven’t written anything since I got back from Denver. I got partially through a conceptual post, but my mind was a little bored so I decided to take a look at a few things. I checked the other blogs that I look at regularly to see what had been going on there and I pulled up The Spanking Spot. I didn’t know that today was the day that they announced the winner of the Creative Spanking Blog of the Year Award, for which I was nominated. What I saw was this:

I sat there slack-jawed for a while before I realized that it meant this:

I’m really overwhelmed with happiness to have won this award. I’m also feeling extremely grateful at the moment. There are some people I’d like to thank.

To start out with, I’d like to thank everyone who voted for me and encouraged others to do so. Obviously, I would not have won if so many wonderful people had not done this. The fact that you guys all cared enough to do so really makes me extremely happy.

I’d like to thank Brushstrokes at The Spanking Spot for running the contest to begin with, for I’d have no way to win an award if it wasn’t being offered. I think that having The Spanking Awards gives us something to be excited about as a community and allows recognition for great work. Thanks for that.

I’d also like to offer my thanks to people who nominated me for this award: my friend Amoni, the wonderful Pandora Blake (whose own blog has been an inspiration to me for a long time) and some people whose names I don’t recognize but who I infinitely appreciate: Mr Allen and J.

There are, of course, more people who I feel appreciative towards. I appreciate Malignus’ constant love and support in every area of my life. I appreciate YS for, among many other wonderful things he does for me, creating a rules structure which requires me to stick with my blog. Since these rules were implemented, my posting has been very regular and my traffic statistics have been better than ever before. I’m thankful for PTL for her intrest and investment in the blog, as well, and for her never-failing ability to point out my ocassional gramaticle errorrs. 😛 I appreciate Amoni again, this time for providing me with the wonderful photograph of me which is on my main page. I appreciate my boyfriend Rafa and my recently-ex girlfriend but still very beloved friend, L, for being the most supportive and understanding vanilla partners that a spanko girl could ask for. I appreciate the myriad of people with whom I get to have my adventures for giving me amazing things to write about. I appreciate SF, who, besides giving me my first spanking and introducing me to this whole crazy world, taught me both the value and means of producing proper grammar and good writing. I’m an extremely lucky girl with many wonderful people in my life, and I’m glad for all of them. Thank you.

I appreciate the people who have supported me in my efforts as a blogger. The first name that comes to mind when I think of this will always be Erica Scott, who has always been around to answer my questions and inspire me with her own excellent writing. Erica is very precious to me, and the help that she’s given me means an infinite amount. Others who helped me get my start include my friend and now-retired blogger, Sophie Grey and Todd and Suzy over at American Spanking Society.

Finally, I’d like to thank my fellow bloggers whose links and mentions of me have driven me the greatest amount of traffic. At the very top of this list, by leaps and bounds is Chross, whose list I’ve been lucky enough to be featured on a number of times. Bonnie at My Bottom Smarts has also been a huge contributor of traffic (and support!) since the very start of my blog. All Things Spanking and Spanking Blog have been a huge help, as well.

Finally, thank you. Whoever you are, reading this, since without your readership, my blog is pretty pointless. You make my day. 🙂

I can’t stop stressing how happy this makes me. Back over the summer, Malignus and I were driving somewhere and we our conversation got on the subject of these awards. I kept talking about how much I’d like it if my blog were to win an award. “Of course I’d like to win an award as a model, but that doesn’t matter as much to me as winning one for my blog would,” I remember saying. “My blog is really my pride and joy, and it represents the parts of me that I care the most about.” I ended that conversation with “Of course, that would never happen, but it’s nice to think about.” HA! Take that, past self! I showed you!

I’ve been wanting to use this photo for a long time but it never really fits in, so I’m going to use it RIGHT NOW to congratulate myself:

That’s me. I’m a happy kitty, tapping away at my keys excessively loudly and making Malignus have to go into the other room to do anything while I’m blogging. TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP. (Note: I am not actually a kitty, nor am I a “kitty-person” who’ll get down on the floor and rub against your leg. You’re safe here.)

Hopefully in the next couple of days, some celebration will be in order and I’ll be able to share that with you in my next post.

I love you, internet. I really do. ♥

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged 2012 Creative Spanking Blog of the Year, Gratitude, Spanking Awards | 23 Comments

Second Real Spankings Shoot!

Published January 10, 2013

Note: I wrote this last night, scheduled it, then didn’t like parts of it so I went back and redid them. It’s later than I originally promised because of that. You’ll probably live.

A few days ago, I finally hit the road again after having spent all of November and December in South Dakota (except for the brief trips that I took to Omaha to fetch and return Heather, but that really doesn’t count). I headed to Denver on Sunday in order to visit Amoni and to shoot with Real Spankings again. I had such a wonderful time when I last shot for them, and I was really looking forward to this second shoot. Betty Blaze is incredibly fun and friendly, and last time we shot, she really put me at ease.

Betty Blaze strapping me during my first RS shoot.

I was especially excited about doing this second shoot because the Top this time was Danny Creighton. I like him a lot. I got to have a very nice, long scene with him when we first met at a Scarlet Moons (a small, local party in Denver) party in October and I was really looking forward to being spanked by him again!

I arrived to my shoot on Tuesday a little bit early (I feel that it’s never a good idea to show up late to something spanking related. Don’t need to give anyone more excuses, right?) and was feeling jittery and excited. When I got there, I found that Betty had a cold and wouldn’t actually be filming any scenes with me that day, which was a little disappointing since we had talked about the prospect of being spanked together, which is always fun. Still, the show must go on, and I was more than capable of taking everyone’s spankings myself. 🙂

Betty Blaze and me. Aren’t we cute?!

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this before, but I find it very exciting to be on the set where Real Spankings is filmed. I’ve looked at their content for many years and certainly had more than a few fantasies where I imagine taking the place of one of the girls in the pictures or videos I was watching. There’s really nothing more exciting than actually doing that!

The first scene which we filmed that day was an all hand spanking scene. Really, a nice, long hand spanking is the ideal way to start any work day! The positioning was a little different, as I was bent over a railing at the end of a staircase, so it was kind of close to a standing-up style spanking. That’s not usually my preference, but I liked the impromptu feeling of the location and position. The spanking built perfectly and eased me into the perfect mood while warming me up to take the rest of the spankings I’d be getting that day. I had to remember to act like I wasn’t enjoying it.

Right after that, we filmed our second scene, this one involving a strap. I was asked to select which strap I’d want to be hit with from what was essentially a dresser full of implements. I’m going to go on a tangent for a moment to point out that I think that selecting an implement is one of the hardest things to do, period. Occasionally, Malignus sends me to “go find something for him to hit me with” and I inevitably spend way too long obsessing over making the choice. At home, picking something out to be hit with involves trying to find the perfect balance. If I pick something that isn’t “mean” enough, I’ll feel disappointed if the spanking isn’t as hard as I’d prefer. All my instincts are against picking something “too mean.” I usually end up finding whatever seems like the right middle ground for the situation and then bumping it up one level of meanness, just in case. In this case, though, I had only been spanked with two of the implements in the dresser of doom, and I couldn’t even identify which ones they were at this point. I ended up seeking Betty’s advice, and we selected a strap which she told me she enjoyed being spanked with.

The strapping scene involved me being a little bitch and having an attitude, which is something that I’ve been trying to get more practice with in play and for cinematic value recently (that is, however, something which comes with a big “WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME” label for me :P). I think that I pulled it off pretty well. At one point, Danny asked me a question to which I really didn’t have an answer. I tried to come up with some sort of clever line, but kept drawing blanks so instead of waisting time I simply let out the most pathetic whining noise I’ve ever made while giving the best scowl I could muster. This lead to me getting put rather firmly back into positon and spanked quite a bit more, so I suppose it worked out properly. ^_^

After the first two scenes, I went to change and snuck a few phone photos in the bathroom because that’s what I do and who I am: I’m a girl who takes pictures of her ass in bathrooms across the country.

The second two scenes that we filmed were “School Strokes” and “School Swats.” If you don’t already know, these are series that Real Spankings does where they interview girls about their experiences and thoughts regarding both canes and paddles and then give them “traditional” chastisement with the implement in question. I always get a little nervous when being interviewed on camera (I actually opted not to watch my Punishment Profile after the last shoot, because I feel like I always look and sound a bit silly when speaking candidly) but I do think that my blushing while talking about the subject matter at hand was probably cute. Danny interviewed me regarding caning, first, and then showed me three thicknesses of canes. I then got 4 strokes with each. The last cane was a thicker rattan cane than we have at home, and it hit with a level of density and firmness behind each stroke like nothing I’d ever felt from a natural material cane. I will probably need to buy one.

When we were discussing these last two sets, it was up to me whether I wanted to do them with my jeans on or not. For the first one, I decided to do it on the bare because cane lines always look great, and because at this point in my life, it feels kind of unnatural to get spanked over clothing since baring is nearly always a part of my spanking ritual, unless it’s something extremely impromptu or it’s part of a mind-game. Shortly after we finished filming the caning sequence, I went to get changed to do the paddling one. I had originally said that I would take the paddle swats over my jeans, but I changed my mind at the last minute. My butt was sore, sure, but I wasn’t dying. I was really enjoying getting spanked, and I really wanted to feel the spanking I’d be getting that day.

After the interview, when it came time to actually take my jeans down, I felt a little apprehensive about my decision. It’s funny how the closer a spanking gets, the scarier it becomes. But I reminded myself that this was all my choice and I wanted it to be hard and got them down.

It was hard.

I got ten swats with the paddle, and each of them made me rise up on my toes, cry out, and contort my face in pain. After the seventh, I asked for a moment to catch my breath. I took a second to just breathe as Danny gently rubbed my bottom. I felt safe and secure, and relaxed myself again, stuck my bottom back out and took the final three swats. When it was done, I had quite a mix of adrenaline and endorphins and a very sore bottom. That, my friends, is the ideal way to end a work day. 🙂

Sore!

After we took care of paperwork, I hugged everyone and said my goodbyes, I got picked up and headed back to Amoni’s where we hung out more. My bottom hurt for the rest of the day, and around bedtime I still had some bruising (which is rare and kind of exciting for me ^_^). I went to bed with a sore bottom and woke up with one still in the morning. In fact, as I’m preparing this at bedtime on the second night, I can still sort of feel it. That’s a win in my books.

See my bruise?! See it?!

I can’t wait until these scenes come out so I can be excited about them all over the internet. You probably should be, too!

♥

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Betty Blaze, Canes, Danny Creighton, Marks, Paddles, Real Spankings, Shoot stories, spanking pictures | 16 Comments

New Work

Published January 9, 2013

Hi, everyone!
Today, I shot for Real Spankings again and had an amazing time. There’s a longer post about that coming tomorrow (I know it actually is, because I wrote it tonight and scheduled it. Ha!)

Before I share that, though, I wanted to let you all know that my first set of images was released on Northern Spanking. I had a wonderful time working with them at Shadowlane, and I’m looking forward to doing so again when I visit the UK in March.

I’m really fond of the way that this set turned out. It’s a photo-story between me and Stephen Lewis, and I think that images really capture a lot of the feelings that I often have associated with spankings.

Here are my favorites from the set:

Please head over to Northern Spanking to check out the rest of the set, and for more forthcoming scenes.
I hope everyone is having a great week. 🙂

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Northern Spanking, spanking pictures, Stephen Lewis | 6 Comments

Curious About: Revisted

Published January 8, 2013

Over a year ago, I made a post detailing my spanking related bucket list. I’ve had an incredible variety of experiences since then, and I think it’s a good time to look back on the things that I was previously curious about. I haven’t done everything on this list yet, but I’ve been able to cross of a large number of the items. 😀

Getting spanked with a bath brush
Check.

Not the best photo in terms of capturing the color, but still nice, right?

“Bath brushes are a nice thing to get spanked with,” said no one, ever.
Still, I’m glad to have added them to my repertoire of things that I get hit with. There’s a certain comfort that comes from being hit with something you really don’t like by someone that you trust. It’s also a great implement for the times when I want to feel overwhelmed by a spanking. It certainly gets that job done. Scale is important to me: it’s good to have implements in our collection that are somewhat comfortable on either an emotional level or which just aren’t that physically awful and to have things on the other end of that spectrum. Still, it’s not something I’m going to let just anyone hit me with. 🙂

Being co-topped
Semi-check

I’ve certainly had a few experiences with cotopping, but it’s still something I’d like to explore more. One method of this which I’ve done quite a few times is a round-robin style spanking, where I moved from one Top to another getting spanked by each one. Another that I tried a few times, especially at the Cabin Party is the method where I was positioned across both Tops’ laps and shifted forward so that the second one could spank me after the first finished (see photo above). Cotopping is something that I’d like to do more with, though. I’d ideally like to have two Tops, particularly people who I already felt close to, take turns between strokes, especially with one Top standing on either side of me. I’ve seen people do scenes like this at parties, and it’s something I remain curious about.

Getting spanked on a wet bottom
Check!

Swimsuit spanking!

This is another thing which I’m glad I’ve tried, but which certainly isn’t high on my list of preferences. I experienced this for the first time during a video with Lily Starr where she dragged me out of the shower in order to put me over the bed and spank me with a bathbrush. Later, at TASSP, Malignus spanked me directly after we’d gotten out of the pool. I was a bit more dry then, but it still was extra stingy. At the Cabin Party, YS spanked me while we were in the hot tub outdoors, which was an assortment of interesting sensations: cold air, warm body, wet bottom. Later at that same party, the Tops all assembled to gang up on girls who were coming in from the hot tub and I got spanked by about six people in a row on my wet bottom. Lots and lots of adventures in wet bottom spanking!

Attending spanking parties
Huge check.
In the past year, I went from having never been to any kind of spanking party to having attended two cabin parties, one local party in Denver, TASSP, two Crimson Moons and Shadowlane. I’m now basically addicted to them, and plan to go to all the parties, ever. 😀

Sitting down in the snow after a hard spanking
Still curious.
There was no snow when we were in Colorado and that was the only time when I really got spanked outside very much. I did a little bit of it during my first Cabin Party, but there was very limited snow available at the time. I still think it’s a good idea. 🙂

Getting spanked on the beach
Still curious.
I don’t know where exactly I’d find a beach where I felt comfortable enough to do this, but the idea continues to tickle me. I think it could either be lots of fun or extremely relaxing, depending on how it was done.

Getting spanked in my car
Semi-check.

Taken after Amoni spanked me in her car.

I’ve actually never been spanked in my personal car, although Amoni spanked me in the back of her car once. It was actually fairly comfortable, although obviously not the ideal set up. This scene was pretty light hearded, considering the fact that she’s my friend and we were in the backseat of her car in front of her house in the middle of the woods at night. She handed me a hairbrush and said “think about what a naughty person you are.”
I’ve also been hit on my thigh while Malignus was driving basically every day that we’ve ever ridden in the same car, although that’s not exactly the same thing. I plan on buying an actually new car (instead of just a “new to me” car) in the next year or so, and I’m sure that I’d be able to convince Malignus to spank me in it to celebrate its procurement. 😀

Getting an extremely long spanking
Check!

Danny Creighton spanking me for a really long time at a Scarlet Moons party.

I’ve had two experiences which I think fall into this category, although there’s certainly a lot more to explore here. I’ll start by saying that I had received a couple of fairly long spankings before I made this post. One of these was probably my favorite spanking ever, where I fell into subspace for the first time and I really have no idea how long it lasted. Because of the spacing out, it never seemed extremely long, but in retrospect (and after talking to Malignus about it) I realize that it was somewhat epic. Another very long spanking was a hand spanking which YS gave me during the Cabin Party (a lot of noteworthy things happened during that party). That was really lovely indeed: he spanked me with his hand for at least 45 minutes, varying speed and intensity so that it was never “easy” but never overwhelming either. I just snuggled against him and felt very safe and cozy.

The most recent of my spankings of epic proportions took place at the Scarlet Moons party which I attended with Amoni in Denver. This was the first time I actually got to meet Danny Creighton (who, by the way, I am seeing and getting spanked by in less than 12 hours) and after Amoni and I hung out with him and Sophie for a while, we decided that the only right thing in the world would be for him to spank me. 🙂 He did so quite thoroughly and for quite an extended period of time, making me positively blissed out despite the constant group of people coming and going. He mostly used his hand, but occasionally threw in swats with a wooden paddle, which really confused my brain because I was not paying very careful attention to what, exactly was going on behind me, just the fact that I felt lovely and relaxed. He finished the whole thing up quite a bit later with some belting, which was much more energizing than relaxing, but was done with a presence and tone that made me turn to putty inside. (Oh hey, I can’t wait for tomorrow! This is like, Christmas Eve or something!)

Purchasing leather implements
Still curious.

Leather remains an area which I need to keep exploring. I’ve had scenes with leather implements which I’ve really enjoyed, and I know that if I had more leather choices in the implement bag I’d probably do more of it at home which would make me even more accustomed to the sensation.

Cutting a switch
Mostly check.

I’ve been switched a couple of times, most notably in a treehouse with ellee by Robert Wolf. Switches are stingy and kind of mean, but there continues to be something interesting about them to me. I’ve never done the sort of scene where a girl is sent out to select and cut her own switch and bring it back to be spanked with, though, and I think that’s something that I’d like to do. I like the idea of the ritualized experience there, and there’s something sort of intriguingly uncomfortable about selecting it on my own.

That covers my original list. I’ve been thinking about adding some new items to this, although those would mostly be focused around people I’d like to be spanked by or particular fantasy scenes that I have kicking around in my head and the idea of sharing those is always a little embarrassing.
Now goodnight, I need my beauty sleep so that I can get spanked tomorrow. 😀

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged bath brushes, curious about, Danny Creighton, long spankings, PTL, spanking pictures, switches, wet bottom spanking | 6 Comments

2012, Continued

Published January 4, 2013

I left off from my year-in-review after describing June and the excitement it contained. I shall now pick back up with:

July

While I didn’t blog about it, I had an amazing 25th birthday on July 6th, during which I visited with friends, got to go to Bear Country (my favorite of places!) got lovely birthday spankings and received my most beloved pets, Telsa and Newton the guinea piggies, from Malignus. It was seriously great.

Later that month, I started out on a series of adventures which would keep me away from home for most of the rest of the summer. This began with Chicago Crimson Moon. I had lots of fun and met many cool people for the first time, and I got to spend more quality time with some people I really care for. From Chicago, I flew to LA for another visit, which was fun and exciting.

August

August started out in Los Angeles, where I got to visit with friends and eat lots of delicious ethnic treats. Especially noteworthy was the time that I spent visiting with Erica Scott and the adventures that Lily Starr and I shared. While there, I celebrated my seventh “Spankoversary” which I discovered takes place on Consensual Spanking Day. From Los Angeles, I traveled to Texas to do more shooting and have more adventures. I stayed with WYO and LLB and got to get really close with them. They’ve become some of my favorite people, and I’m really thankful to have them in my life! Near the end of my visit with them, Heather joined us there for a night and then the next morning, the two of us took off on a road trip of epic proportions which would eventually land us at the Mother of All Spanking Parties: Shadow Lane. It was an epic party where I got to meet and hang out with lots of awesome people, and, because of the company I got to keep, was probably the best party I’ve been to at present.

My regret for the month of August is that Richard Windsor didn’t spank me when we met, but I’ve set things in motion to make my future spanking from him inevitable. 🙂

September

September started out as a recovery month for me. I landed back in Sioux Falls after having been gone for six weeks straight and was very glad to see Malignus again. I celebrated the completion of my first year as a spanking model and my 100th blog post. I did lots and lots of sleeping to make up for time lost while on the road. After I was caught up, I had a big event. I had organized my first spanking get together, a private cabin party in Colorado. It was amazing. Things came together extremely well, and everyone had a great time. I got to see a ton of people I care about and spent lots of quality time with them. There were lots of outdoor spankings, including outdoor switchings:

We traveled on and came across a series of small, young birch trees. The area that I chose to get a cabin in happened to, entirely by chance, be largely without deciduous trees, so this was a bit of a rarity. As we viewed them, the Tops pointed out that they were very supple and swishy looking and would make excellent switches.

“Oh darn!” I exclaimed. “No one has a knife with them. What a shame. I guess we can’t have any switches.”

Robert pulled a knife out of his pocket. If life was a comic book, there would have been a “SNIKT” sound effect. My face looked like this: -_-.

Shortly after a large number of switches had been cut, we climbed up to a small tree house. We got inside and ellee and I received treehouse switchings. The joy of being in a treehouse and being spanked while viewing an incredible landscape almost took away the sting. Key word: almost.

October

Photo © Amoni Jones

October was the month where I SUCKED at blogging. I did basically none of it, only banking two entires. I did, however, have lots of important things happen. For one, after returning home from the cabin party, I realized that not only did I feel naturally submissive towards YS, I really liked feeling submissive towards him. There were little moments during the party where I knew that things just felt right. After consulting with ellee to make sure she was alright with it (as she is my best friend, after all) I asked YS to take me under consideration and he agreed. I think that same day, or maybe the next, ellee asked Malignus to do the same thing for her. I really like the system that was created: ellee and I have always been sisterly and there’s something that makes the world feel like it is in its proper order that we both answer to the same pair of people. It was also in October that I went to Los Angeles for more epic adventures in modeling, visited Disneyland with Lily Starr and Robert Wolf, shot Sternwood Academy, Volume 2, went to Denver and shot a billion amazing pictures with Amoni, filmed with Real Spankings AND went to Crimson Moon’s Halloween party, where my Bad Counterpart (theBadAlex) and I discovered the horrors of eyebrow threading and were probably both traumatized for life. Busy. Month.

November

November was another resting month, and the beginning of some winter time off. There was a drastic increase in my posting frequency during this month, due to YS’ new leadership: he implemented rules ensuring that I post frequently enough to keep everyone happy.
For Thanksgiving, Malignus and I traveled to Texas where we spent it with WYO, LLB and an assortment of other awesome spankos. It was a great time. I love being at their place: wonderful friendship, delicious food, nightly hot tubbing, hard spankings, cute puppy. What more could a girl ask for in life, really? I also spent lots of time working on plans for Malignus’ (then) upcoming birthday surprises. Near the end of the month, I got grounded from using the light on the stove for leaving it on too often. I’m including this because it still seems rather ridiculous to me, both that I would get such a simple thing wrong and that I’d end up getting so much grief for it.

December

December was, by leaps and bounds, the highest traffic month that my blog ever saw. This is probably largely owed to YS’ encouragement, an attempt that I started making to put more of my narrative writing skills into some of my posts and the fact that a couple of my posts ended up on Chross’ list. Certainly not without effect on this is the fact that I was nominated for Creative Spanking Blog of the Year over at The Spanking Spot, an honor which made me extremely proud. Early in the month I had kind of a break through scene with Malignus, which was also noteworthy because I feel it was one of the only times I’ve actually been able to successfully write up a scene-story in a way that could be meaningful to anyone other than myself.

The holidays descended on us! At first, our festivities began slowly, but as friends got involved, things picked up pace. We started out with one Christmas ornament: a tiny ornament of a wooden spoon with a red handle (like some awful thing that a lot of girls are familiar with). By the time New Years rolled around, we had lights, a small but beautiful tree with a bunch of great decorations on it, Christmas cookies, Christmas stockings, wrapped presents, candy and I even got Christmas pajamas. Malignus got me a Kitchenaid mixer, something I’d always dreamed about. I was a really freaking happy girl, and I had a very Merry Christmas indeed.

The highlight of the month, and possibly of the year, was Malignus’ birthday, though. I secretly planned a series of five surprises for him: first, ellee arrived at the house for a surprise visit. Then, I left the two of them alone to enjoy some time together while I snuck off and retrieved Heather Green. After their weekend ended, Malignus was pretty sure that was that was the end of his festivities. It was not. The next weekend, PTL ALSO arrived for ANOTHER secret visit! This also included his fourth surprise, a birthday cake with the words “It’s your birthday again” on it.

Malignus’ cakes from last year (left) and this year.

Needless to say, he loved it. His final surprise arrived a few days after his actual birthday: it was a book that I’d made for him. I asked as many people as I could think of who I knew were close to Malignus in some capacity to make a page for this book, expressing whatever sentiment they wanted to share. Because of time constraints and other situations, not everyone was able to participate, but I still got 20+ awesome pages, all of which brought a huge smile to Malignus’ face. Heather and I even designed a page from her dog, Lucy. Malignus likes Lucy so much he did not even think this was stupid.

Future

By the time that New Year’s Eve rolled around, I was supposed to be finishing this post, but I instead got goofy on the one glass of champagne that I had and didn’t get around to it, preferring NOT to write when tipsy and stupid. The first day of 2013 was great, the next two, not as much, but I know things will pick up. I’m looking forward to having a wonderful year!

Thanks to everyone who made 2012 one of the best years ever. Love you guys. ♥

Posted in Photoshoots | Tagged Holidays, New Years, Photos, Review | 9 Comments

Good bye, 2012!

Published December 31, 2012

2012 was a year in which a lot of things happened. In all, it was a good year, although it certainly had parts that were difficult and not enjoyable. That said, the good certainly outweighed the bad. I’m going to take a minute to reminisce about all the relevant things which happened, going month by month:

January

January in South Dakota was cold and bitter and it involved a lot of me staying indoors and playing Zelda, which, after considerable effort and lots of me getting hit with a cane, I beat it! I got lots of spankings and other enjoyable violence that night, including this lovely memory:

Malignus decided that he wanted to hit me on the thigh AGAIN and that this time, he wanted me to bring him the aforementioned spoon. I was hesitant to do so, but did not protest. Again, I bared my thigh, and this time I buried my face in a pillow. The pain of it made my head explode, pretty much. He hit me more than once, and I found myself rolling around and freaking out. I became so not concerned with my surroundings that I hit my head into the wall a bit, but I didn’t even care. Somehow, I found myself curled up in Malignus’ lap sobbing while he comforted me and reminded me that he loved me and that I’m a very good girl. I know it sounds horrible, and it was, but at the same time, I loved it. I loved how happy indulging his sadism made him. I love being pushed that far. I loved that I had (mostly) accepted something that I hate. Lying there while I regained my calm, I found myself in this sort of otherworldly state of comfort– entirely spent, but the vacant space where all the fight in me had been was filled with a warm and enjoyable sense of comfort.

My blog post about defeating it was the first time that I got a post included on Chross, which was full of excitement for me. In terms of blogging, I had a good month for other reasons as well. I posted a lot and wrote two posts that remain popular to this day: the post which WYO refers to as “Ass Care” and my post explaining my various motivations for crying from a spanking. I also stirred up a bit of controversy by complaining about the kind of comments which I hate. This post resulted in me actually losing a friend, which is kind of pathetic, if you ask me.

February

In February, my blog was named Blog of the Month at The Spanking Bloggers Network, of which I was very proud. I also got my driver’s license and became a real adult. 😛 Malignus and I had our first Valentine’s Day together as a couple and I got spanked lots and lots. Near the end of the month, I went to my first spanking related get together: a cabin party in Indiana. During this party, I met lots of people who would go on to become extremely important in my life for the first time: Ten, Drlectr, ellee and YS are at the top of that list. One of the nice things about blogging is having a documented record of events, so when something later turns out to have been a significant moment, I can look back at what I wrote about it at the time. Here’s the story of the first time YS spanked me:

We then went back up to the house and ellee and I got to work on our coloring. This was interrupted by YS giving ellee a strapping, and later, by him doing the same to me for the first time. Getting spanked by him was pretty exciting. It’s rare that I meet someone whose Dominance I immediately want to respect, but I felt that way about YS. I felt like calling him “Sir” almost immediately, making him only the fourth person I’ve habitually used an honorific with, ever. When I got in position for him to spank me, he told me to ask for it (I’d just seen the way that ellee had done this). In most circumstances, when someone other than Malignus gives me an order (outside of things we’d discussed for a scene) I get all scrunchy faced. I might even respond with “don’t you fucking tell me what to goddamn do!” But when YS told me to ask for my spanking, I didn’t even hesitate before saying “Please spank me, Sir.” It’s rare but lovely to find someone whose Dominance inspires me, and it made playing with him very enjoyable. He spanked me quite hard with a London Tanners’ strap. It was lovely.

Also at this party, Malignus uprooted a small tree and hit me with it. I also got hit with a Sjambok for the first time and lived to tell the tale.

March

In March, Heather came back to South Dakota to stay with us for a few more months and it was wonderful. It was also in this month that we received a sjambok of our very own and I was very stupid and got myself into a bunch of trouble of the day that it arrived. Near the end of the month, I headed to Los Angeles for my first visit since moving and shot with a couple of spanking video companies.

April

My trip to Los Angeles bridged into April and I really enjoyed the rest of it. After that, April was a pretty slow month for me. I had some health issues and took considerable downtime.

May

In May, I traveled to California again to shoot for Sternwood Academy Volume 1. It was an adventure full of epic win, and one of the best times I’ve ever had on a shoot. I got to meet awesome people there like Ela Darling and Cheyenne Jewel (Pictured above with me and Heather). Later that month, Heather left to go to Texas with her boyfriend who had returned from Korea. It was a sad time, and it took a lot of adjusting to not having her around.

June

The major highlight of June was the Texas All State Spanking Party, which Malignus and I attended. This was both of our first national spanking party, and we had an amazing time. During this party I first “got together” with Drlectr and Ten, although I was somewhat shy about this and didn’t blog about it at the time. I also got to meet Pandora Blake and Amelia Jane Rutherford for the first time at this party, and that was really wonderful. I can’t wait to see them again when I go to England next year. I participated in my first “Naughty Schoolgirl Party” at TASSP, described here:

First, we had to line up to have our skirts measured by Dana Spect. The skirt I was wearing was a real school skirt, and it came down nearly to my knees, unlike many of the sexy skirts other girls had on. After holding a ruler up to me, Dana lead me to the front of the room and announced that I was an example of a good girl and that my skirt was what the other girls should aim to look like. I was beaming with pride. Praised in front of everyone? Yes please!

I did quickly realize that being a goody-goody-Hermione-Granger type wasn’t going to get me very much attention with everyone else throwing pieces of paper, launching darts and sneaking beer into the classroom, though, so I figured I had to do something at least a little naughty at a naughty school girl party. I had a package of Fun Dip in my purse which Malignus had won for me the last time we’d gone to the arcade together, so we started eating that very obviously while we were supposed to be learning. Heather, Zoe and I were quickly pulled aside and given OTK spankings and warned not to eat any more candy in class. It was the first time I’ve ever been spanked in front of a live audience before, since a group of other guests were gathered in the back of the room watching the proceedings. I kept myself in the “performer” part of my brain that I use when doing videos and made sure to kick and squirm! It was lots of fun.

On a much less enjoyable note, June was also the month during which I was outed to my family of origin, something which created a struggle which is still somewhat in effect now, although things are much better than they were.

That’s the first six months! To make this post more manageable, the second half of the year will be described tomorrow.

Posted in Adventures | Tagged 2012, Adventures, Cabin Parties, Holidays, memories, Sternwood Academy, TASSP | 7 Comments

Post Christmas Catch Up

Published December 28, 2012

Well, Christmas happened and it was great.

It sort of snuck up on me because I had been so focused on Malignus’ birthday, since Christmas happens every year, but he only got to turn 30 once.

I had tossed the idea around of doing some Christmas themed photos for about a week before the holiday, but I ended up putting it off and ending up only taking a few in the poor, winter lighting on Christmas eve:

The “Spank Me” panties in the bottom left frame were a gift from the wonderful people at Paddles and Panties and the socks in the bottom right came from Heather W. and are the best socks ever.

I got lots of really nice presents from people both in the scene and in my vanilla life, which I shall not brag about because that’s just unseemly. I will, however, brag about one thing: Malignus got me a KitchenAid mixer.

I’ve wanted one of these since I was twelve years old and I first started to daydream about having a home of my own. I’ve been so fond of them that I’ve HUGGED Epipelagic and LilLawBrat’s mixers when I saw them. Now I have my own. I’m using it for the first time tonight, and I’m incredibly excited. It was pretty much the greatest gift! 😀

Due to the emphasis on family and on rekindling old bonds, Christmas tends to be a fairly vanilla time. Malignus did give me a very lovely spanking before bed that night, though. It was one of those nice, affectionate spankings which leave me feeling extremely loved. He gave me a long, gradually building warmup with his hand before moving on to spank me with some member of the Turner Family (that is to say, the collection of wooden turners/spoons, all of which have human names). This also started out more gently, but progressed to being fairly hard. After he finished with this, he returned to spanking me with his hand in a gradual decrescendo, which brought me from a little squirmy to very relaxed and snuggly feeling. I was so ready to go to sleep after the spanking that I nearly forgot to collect my post-spanking hug, which is pretty unheard of for me. Once I was reminded of this, I felt slightly embarrassed (who forgets hugs time?!) but I enjoyed the affection which followed. We said “Merry Christmas” to each other and then I fell promptly to sleep. It was the perfect end to a wonderful holiday. 🙂

Now that Christmas has been over for a couple of days, I really should have gotten caught up on blogging already. It would have been the perfect thing to do yesterday. Unfortunately, I’ve falled into a bit of a slump recently. This is largely caused by the fact that I hate winter. Christmas aside, I hate everything about winter. Now that Christmas is aside, well, I’m just left with snow, ice, dangerously slippery roads, fewer daylight hours and awful, bitter cold. In college, I was diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder, but the treatment for that involved me having to wake up at 6 AM and sit under an excessively bright light in the Health Services Office for an hour before my first class, which just served to make me grumpier than I already was, so I didn’t continue the practice. Recently, I’ve been struggling against both crankiness and laziness. I’ve managed to keep up with my chores and such things, but I haven’t been feeling particularly spunky. In fact, I feel more like this:

I promise to get myself more motivated for a more noteworthy post tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m off to spend some time with Malignus.

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

Posted in Daily Life | Tagged Christmas, Daily Life, Lazy | 4 Comments

Search Term Q and A: Part II

Published December 23, 2012

I recently did a post in which I went through the search terms which had lead people to my blog and pulled out those which were in the form of questions and then answered them. Upon recent inspection, this has lead to many more questions being asked me. I’ve decided to keep doing this. I find this fun. This is almost like formspring!

Can an adult punishment spanking produce tears?

Yes, it absolutely can. Will it? Not necessarily. Many people, however, even those who don’t often cry from spankings in other atmosphere, find that disciplinary spankings bring them to tears. I pretty much always cry if I’m being disciplined, even if it’s not with a spanking. I hate the feeling of being in trouble!

Can a mermaid be spanked?

If a mermaid was real, I’m certain she could be. It would just have to be above the surface, since I know from experience that it’s nearly impossible to spank underwater! 🙂

Can you spank yourself with a sjambok?

I think that a sjambok is probably the worst self spanking implement possible. It’s too long and rigid to actually properly reach your bottom with it. A very flexible leather implement such as a well worn belt might work, but hand held items like wooden spoons and hairbrushes are pretty much the best for self spanking, at least the way I’ve done it.

Do lexan paddles cause permanent harm?

Any implement can cause permanent harm if used improperly. A lexan paddle, at least a thick one, is very heavy and therefore carries a greater risk of injury than a lighter implement. It isn’t something I’d recommend a novice Top experiment with, and it’s not something to go into fearfully for the bottom. If you’re worried enough about it to google it, you should probably pass on it. There are plenty of other implements out there.

Do you feel more feminine after a spanking?

It’s not something I’ve ever thought about before, but I suppose I do in a certain way. I do feel very aware of my femininity when I’m having my skirt lifted up and my panties pulled down, and I like feeling like a domesticated woman, which spankings of a certain style lead me to feel. It isn’t the thing I’d ask for if I felt a need to be feminine, though. In that case, I’m more likely to put on a fancy dress and do my hair and makeup. 🙂

How much do spanking models get paid?

That depends on a lot of variables and is pretty unique from situation to situation. It’s not something that I discuss outwardly, as a general rule.

How do I accept a spanking?

I’m not entirely sure what this question means, but I think that it could be a request for advice on how to take a spanking well. For me, the answer to this comes from being passive, relaxing my body and giving up my willful feelings against the spanking. That’s what leads me to feeling like I’ve “accepted” a spanking instead of just had it happen to me. 🙂

How do I get my bottom spanked?

If you’re eighteen years old or older, I’d recommend checking out Spankfinder or Fetlife for Tops in your area, or consider going to a spanking party like Boardwalk Badness Weekend, Crimson Moon, Florida Moonshine or Shadowlane (to name a few!). There are also smaller spanking themed parties in many cities that just last for an evening but are still lots of fun. You can also try contacting a professional Top in or visiting your area if you’re having trouble getting exactly what you want.

How do I soothe a spanked bottom?

Ice. Lotion. Gentle rubbing. Sometimes, softer hand-spanking can help, too. If the pain is really severe, such as if it’s keeping you from falling asleep at night or waking you up when you roll over, I recommend taking some ibuprofen.

What are ways to make myself cry from a spanking?

The best way to make yourself cry is to focus on feeling vulnerable. I find it effective to just force myself to think about the position that I’m in and keep my mind on that. Malignus will sometimes lead me to this state by telling me to think about the fact that my bottom is bare and I am going to be spanked, or by stopping a spanking partway through and telling me to think about how much it has hurt so far. I also find that not reacting verbally for the beginning of the spanking and letting that build in my chest often brings me to actually crying instead of just wailing and yelping when I do start to react. Really, though, it’s all about being able to be vulnerable with your Top. Having that safety and trust can go a long, long way.

What should I put on my spanked bottom?

The lotion that I prefer is St. Ives with Colagen Elastin, but Lubriderm is also excellent. I’ve recently been using creams that are meant to get rid of callouses on feet, also, but not immediately after a spanking. They usually include some level of menthol, though, and I think that many people would find that to feel good on a spanked bottom. I personally don’t like to use anything that will get rid of too much of the sting, as I like feeling well spanked for as long as possible afterwards.

Why does your butt get hot when spanked?

Because more blood runs to the effected area. If a cold blooded humanoid was spanked (and, you know, if that was real), she would not experience this same sensation. Your body temperature is not actually affected by a spanking.

Why do spankings hurt?

Because you are getting hit, duh.

More scientifically speaking, the nociceptors in the buttocks receive the signal that there is damage and send this to the brain in the form of physical pain. The reason that spanking with certain implements like canes have a superficial pain at first and then a much stronger pain a few seconds after impact is because a second set of nociceptors are present deeper in the the tissues and are in place to detect injury there. It takes longer for these signals to get the brain in the form of pain.
I learned this stuff from Malignus, so I hope I remembered it properly. 🙂

Will arnica make my spanked butt heal faster?

In my experience, no, it doesn’t really do anything. A lot of people swear by it, though, but I’ve never seen an improvement in my bruises after using it.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged Advice, Questions, Search Terms | 9 Comments

Regarding Baring

The Cane: Not Exactly a Love Story

I’m a Winner!

Second Real Spankings Shoot!

New Work

Curious About: Revisted

2012, Continued

Good bye, 2012!

Post Christmas Catch Up

Search Term Q and A: Part II

Search Spankingland

Oh, Hai!

Alex

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