The story of some of the ridiculous things that have happened recently and which have prevented me from attending to my blog as thoroughly as I would like to shall be appearing soon. It’s more important to me to get this post up, first, and then chatter on about myself. Not like I won’t be chattering on in this post, but, you know!

I love underpants. I love them far too much. I like plain ones and lacy ones, cute ones and crazy ones and everything in between. One thing I had never had, however, were spanking related panties. The closest thing that I had were my “GUILTY” panties from my shoot with Spanking Court, which I absolutely love.


When I was given these at Spanking Court, I asked Katerina where they came from. She directed me to her site, Paddles and Panties, where I proceeded to oogle over just about everything. The idea of selling implements and underpants in the same place is so perfect. I’m far too fond of obtaining both of those things.

Paddles and Panties is great for several reasons, besides basically being one-stop-shopping for spankos. They offer a series of underpants with cute, spanking related sayings on the butt, and I’m happy to report that they don’t discriminate. They are available for men and in female plus sizes as well as standard female sizing. The panties themselves are well made and fit comfortably, and the text is screen-printed on in a way that looks great and holds up well to washing. I can’t say anything about dryers, though, since I hang all my underwear to dry.


The phrases available are cute and witty, and since they’re made up by a spanko, they’re things that many of us will relate to. 🙂

“Paddled to Perfection”

The phrases are in a variety of fonts and colors, which mixes things up quite a bit.

I’m personally very into wearing these panties to work under my regular clothes. It makes me feel the same sort of “getting away with something secret” feeling that I get when I’m hiding bruises under my skirt!

“Seat of Education”

These are also sure to be hits at spanking parties, and make for a fun “reveal” when you pull your pants down or raise your skirt to reveal the message!

“100% Spankable” (I’ll replace this with a better photo once I get some help: taking photos of your own butt is hard!)

I have had a chance to be spanked with several of the implements sold on their site, as well, and they’re quality stuff. I’m most familiar with their wooden pieces, and they really sting a lot! I also discovered that the horrible black spoon which Dana Kane spanked us Sternwood Girls with comes from them! That was an unforgettable implement. It was one of the worst spoons ever (pretty much only topped by “Ben”). You can pick that up if you really want to teach someone a lesson or eight!

They also have this fun thing called “Spanko Lotto” which is basically a scratch off lottery card for spanking! You pick a box and it tells you how many swats and with what implement you are to be spanked. It’s a fun little thing and really adorable.

I recommend that you check their site out and pick up one or two items that catch your eye. They’re run by awesome people who are offering a unique and well made product. I give them my highest “marks.” 😛

Hello, my dear, sweet internet!I’m so sorry that I’ve been neglecting you recently! Things in my vanilla life have continued to be over-the-top busy. I’ve got posts lined up for the next few days with lots of good stuff, though.
Today, I have another interview. This time it’s with spanking blogger Latte. Go ahead and check out her blog; Spanking Latte. I was lucky enough to meet her at my first spanking party. She’s extremely sweet and a great writer.

Latte! Such a cutie!




Spankingland: How long have you been interested in spanking?
Latte: That is a hard question to me because I’m not really sure. I think spanking has always interested me, but I really started looking into the BDSM/spanking world when I was about 18 years old.

Spankingland: I had a pretty similar experience– I kinda ran into things right when I was old enough to, because I’d been thinking about it for so long! How did you *find* the BDSM/spanking community?
Latte: It is an interesting story how I found the community. I had a psychology paper for school about childhood spanking. When I went to go research the material for the report, I found spankingtube along with various of other sites for spanking stories

Spankingland: That’s really interesting! Were you excited when you first discovered it?
Latte: I was very excited when I discovered it. I also was nervous because I didn’t know what to expect when I first started chatting with other spankos.

Spankingland: When you first became interested in spanking, did you know that you were a switch, or were you originally drawn to one of the roles and then branched out into the other as well?
Latte: Actually I started out as a bottom only. I first thought I would never like to spank. I had a close spanko friend of mine ask if I would want to try it on him and I agreed. After I spanked him, I became a switch. I fell in love with getting to spank just as receive.

Spankingland: So, at this point, do you have a preference between spanking or being spanked?
Latte: I don’t have a preference of either being spanked or spanking.I enjoy both of them 50/50.

Spankingland: Awesome. What are some of the most exciting things that you’ve gotten to do as part of the spanking community?
Latte: I haven’t been able to do a whole lot at the moment. School is currently my number one priority. I have gotten to attend some private parties here in Indiana which I have enjoyed. Also meeting my fellow kinksters I talk to is very exciting.
Spankingland: Are there things that you’d eventually like to do? Any goals, dreams or plans relating to spanking?
Latte: When life slows down I would like to go to the major spanking parties like BBW and Shadowlane. I also would like to start doing spanking shoots once my name gets out there.

Spankingland: Besides school and work, do you have anything else in your vanilla life which keeps you busy?
Latte: I do. I have partial custody of my niece and I play mom to her. She keeps me pretty busy with her extra curricular activities. I also work with 2 rescues and do various jobs for them.

Spankingland: Do you have any advice for people, especially young adults, who are just getting into the spanking scene?
Latte: Yes. I would encourage joining groups around your area so you can get to know kinksters around your specific area. I would also just be cautious. Most of the community is very nice and very welcoming, but you just want to be safe!!Hope you guys enjoyed this! 

I’m going to be starting a new series of posts on my blog in which I interview various persons from within the spanking community: bloggers, models, writers, producers, party organizers, pro Tops and bottoms, implement makers, you name it! Our community is rich and diverse and I’d love to share the stories of some of the awesome people in it. If you’re interested in being interviewed, please drop me an email.

Today, the series begins with an interview with up-and-coming spanking model, Alexis Steele. I’m very fond of Alexis: she has a warm, inviting personality, is a true-blue spanko and has a really hot ass (I had to say it! I can’t only fawn over people’s personality traits!) Furthermore, she’s one of the people who really encouraged me to move forward when I became interested in starting spanking modeling way back in September: something I’ve tried to pay forward and help other friends who are just trying to get their feet in the water as models. 

Pixie Wells spanking Alexis, courtesy of Punished Brats

Q: How long have you known that you were into spanking? 
A: I had funny little fantasies develop around the age of 7. I remember watching TV shows, like “Charlie’s Angels” and imagined getting spanked by the lead characters. 
Q: At what point did you realize that this was something that you actually wanted to do?
A: By the time I entered my twenties, I knew I had to explore hard spankings as part of my personal happiness. I contacted personal ads in the back of the local papers and had some pay for play sessions. I did the paying.
Q: How often were you able to get together with a spanking partner when you first started? 
A:  I had three paid for sessions with a local male top in my mid twenties, but I stopped right after those that because he was looking more for a slave rather than a spankee. I was getting physical gratification, but was learning I craved emotional connection, too. Then I entered a VERRYYYY long dry spell after that-until my mid 30’s.
Q: That must have been really difficult! How did you keep sane?
A: I actually became obsessed with mental scenarios as to what my perfect spankings would entail. I started reading tons of spanking literature and fine tuning my genuine dynamics. I eventually found a good male friend who was willing to deliver some righteous bare bottomed spankings to me from time to time. I also couldn’t shake the growing desire of wanting to get non sexually spanked by other women.
Q: Was that something that was part of your original fantasies, or did it come up later on? 
A: Those were my original fantasies, based on my early childhood TV fantasies! Also I was very rebellious in school and gave a lot of attitude to female teachers in particular. I was looking for attention and they didn’t provide it at the time! 

Q: So you were originally more interested in being spanked by women than men, but then men were the ones who were available? 
A: You nailed it RIGHT on THE money! And I think this is why I had so many dry spells in early adulthood. They were nice spankings, but something was lacking mentally from the men’s spankings.I thought long and hard about this and the complex truth is I prefer male sex partners to females, but prefer female spankers to males. I wonder how common or uncommon this is with other women.
Q: It isn’t something I’ve heard of many examples of, but it makes a lot of sense to me. Our sexual and kink orientations aren’t necessarily the same. I find the details of this pretty fascinating.
A: I actually do get very mentally stimulated while getting a hard spanking and a great scolding. My mind gets very turned on! Like I’m in a competition of sorts.
Q:  A competition against whom? 
A: Honestly, myself. Not the spanker like you’d figure. I go to a spanking knowing “it’s going to HURT!” But I like to accept “physical challenges” such as these. So I do my best to take what’s coming without “too” much protest. I would love to see videos featuring spanking contests.

Q: That’s another idea that I can get behind! That makes a lot of sense to me.At what point did your spanking life start to get more fruitful? 

A: The last 3 years have been incredible for me in Spanking Land. I connected with fantastic website producers, Chelsea Pfeiffer and Pixie Wells. I spent a lot of time exchanging emails with these lovely women as well as others in the spanking community. I’ve been blessed to participate in two video shoots to date. Chelsea broke my video cherry if you will. Punished Brats was my second on camera adventure.

Q: What was your first video experience like?!
A: Every bit as wonderful as I hoped! I did a reality spanking shoot called Chelsea Spanks!  Thirty minutes of unedited, no cut spanking. It’s a terrific way to debut on camera because you get to act as yourself. I really enjoyed the shoot. I actually forgot the camera was there. I was too busy thinking about my ever reddening bottom! 

“I wasn’t to proud to shout ‘THIS HURTS!'”

Q: Did a half hour seem like a long time to you? I know I was pretty surprised when Chelsea said that my shoot was done!
A: Initially no. But the last tem minutes in particular were exceptionally challenging. Chelsea used some of her heavier implements and really let me know she was in charge. I wasn’t too proud to shout  “This hurts!” I felt the “love” for three or four days after! 
Q: Awesome! The shoots that you’ve done with Punished Brats have been with you as a Top, right? 
A: So far the first shoot was me in Switch mode. I played an irresponsible nanny who spanked the daylights out of my college aged charge. But then I got a spanking from my younger than me boss for negligent performance. Ha! Ha! It was a blast working with the PB crew. David Pierson is exceptionally hospitable and very knowledgeable about scene distribution. And Pixie…I love her to pieces.
Q: That’s so excellent! Is switching something that you’re interested in naturally, or is it one of those things that you just aren’t opposed to and would do for the camera? 
A: Total honesty here…I would have never considered topping or switching a few years ago. I feel my heart belongs in my bottom so to speak. But my dominant personality came out very effectively on camera. I will always prefer getting the spankings but will Switch on camera on a sporadic basis.
Q: That’s sort of how I feel, too! I do get a bit Toppy towards certain girls sometimes, when they have a certain personality. It looks like you did a great job with it, though!
A: Thank you Alex! My “brat” Audrey was such a sweetie in person. She changed into the ultimate brat. And the feisty ones are THE ones I want to spank. I feel less “guilty” if they’re asking for it as opposed to pleading to NOT get spanked.

“I feel my heart belongs in my bottom… but my dominant personality came out very effectively on camera!”


Q: Do you have any plans to do more videos in the future? 
A: I would love to do more videos I have a few possible shoots in the future. They’re such fun because we get to play act and explore parts of our personalities we want to expand or didn’t even know was there.
Q: At this point in your development, what would your perfect spanking be? 
A: I so much love role plays. I really identify with the student/teacher or student/principal scenes. I would love to get spanked by Miranda Marx as my principal and I’m either her defiant student or errant teacher requiring a “lesson” of my own. As for physical sensations, I love bare hand, and many implements across my bare bottom.
Q: Do you have a favorite or least favorite implement? 
A: My favorites are wooden paddles, hand and straps. So far I haven’t met an implement I hated, But I’d be leery of inexperienced caners or those using whips.
Q: Finally: do you have any advice for those who are just getting involved in the spanking scene?
A: Do your research folks! Think out your own fantasies. Join groups like Fetlife because you’ll find so many people who are compatible for your own needs. Develop strong email bonds with people you admire. It pays off in many ways! If possible attend the national parties like Shadow Lane and Boardwalk Badness.
Alexis’ videos can be seen at Good Spanking and Punished Brats. Her video premier in the Chelsea Spanks! series is available to purchase on DVD. 

For the past several months, one of my all-time best friends (and fellow spanking model), Heather Michaels, has lived with Malignus and I. There have been a lot of awesome times and adventures during that time. My sisters in my family of origin are both considerably older than me and also suffer from a condition known as “being total bitches” so I never had a close relationship with them, but Heather has always been exactly like what I imagine a sister is supposed to be. It doesn’t matter what we’re supposed to be– she’s part of the family that I chose for myself.

Unfortunately for me, but on a very exciting note for her, Heather left Sioux Falls on Friday to move to Texas with her boyfriend, who had been out of the country for work since before they started dating. Malignus and I took her to the airport to pick him up and got to meet him for the first time. He’s a really awesome guy and I’m very happy for them. Unfortunately, pretty much as soon as we got to the airport, I started to get a fairly severe migraine, so I sort of shook his hand, went home, threw up a bunch and then curled up in the bed and died for the rest of the night.

The next day, I was supposed to go to work and then the four of us were supposed to go to the other side of the state to visit various sites including Bear Country USA. The list of the happiest days of my life include when I got spanked for the first time, when I entered University (I find this to be happier than my graduation because the fact that I had to leave the college after graduating was pretty tragically heartbreaking for me so that was very bittersweet) and the day that I spent at Bear Country in August with Malignus. We also went there recently for the Cub Festival, where they didn’t actually let me hold the cubs but they did let me pet them and I kissed one when no one was looking.


Anyway, I was so sick that I decided out of my own free will that I needed to stay home for the weekend instead of driving out to see all these awesome things (read- baby and adult bears). It’s no wonder that originally, Malignus wanted me to stay with friends who live closer to the hospital before I convinced him that I was going to be alright!

EVEN MORE sad than the fact that this meant I didn’t get to see bears is the fact that this meant that I didn’t get to have a weekend to say goodbye to Heather. I spent last weekend at Sternwood with her, but without the idea that she’d be leaving soon at the front of my brain. I already miss her like crazy and it’s only been a day and a half since she left.

I wanted to take a moment to celebrate this very special woman who I’ve been very fortunate to have in my life.

Heather is very sweet and she cares about the people in her life with a sense of devotion that is rare and beautiful.

She’s energetic and can really get behind having a good adventure. I love hearing her say “YES! Let’s do that!” when we’re brainstorming ideas for ways that we can have fun or do something cool.

 Our minds are very in-tune when it comes to our spanko nature, and we can’t go anywhere without finding things that could be used as implements.

Heather is strong without being threatening. I’ve never felt like she was going to punch someone in the face, but she carries herself with a sense of confidence which makes it undeniable that you shouldn’t fuck with her. (She did tell a hippy to shut up on a plane once, though. That was for the win.)

Heather is fun to very nearly get into trouble with in real life (oh look! We somehow got everything done at the last minute!) and to get into lots of “for fun” trouble with during shoots.

Heather is fun to get spanked with and her reactions are very powerful and genuine and also kind of cute. She’s a fun Top when we play that way, even if she hasn’t developed a great sense of rhythm yet. 😛

I think that she could probably run from South Dakota to Texas and be just fine, because she’s crazy athletic.

Heather is a really beautiful woman. It’s clear to everyone that looks at her that physically, she’s a knock out, but to me, the more important beauty comes from her positive energy and the fact that she can’t hide what a good person she is.

I know we’ll be seeing each other before too long, and we’ll be in each other’s lives forever. My love and affections for her could not be more genuine and I know that distance won’t diminish them.

*NOTE* This is a very photos-of-my-butt heavy post. If you don’t like photos of my butt, you should probably not read my blog or hang out with me.

During my very brief hiatus (in which I struggled with new work hours, health issues and chronic insomnia to the point where I think I was bordering on having the actual medical condition of exhaustion) I wasn’t keeping track of who was paying attention to me on the internet. This is very unlike me and yet another sign that things weren’t going well for me. Fortunately, despite the fact that I had a 15 hour status migranous earlier and the fact that the “L” key on my laptop is headed the way of the comma and period (that is to say, the land of malfunction) and that’s a huge bother because I have to type L every time I write my fricken name, I’m in a good mood today and I’m ready to sort through where I’ve been in my own absence. I also have this giant bowl of ice cream to help:

Ok- it’s mostly fruit. Still remarkable.

Clare Fonda uploaded the content from our awesome shoot when I was visiting LA to Girl Spanks Girl, which is very exciting indeed! This shoot brought me my very first galleries of free spanking photos, which is pretty cool, and therefore, lots of people have been posting about it.

Spanking.su posted a blog post about it with a link to two galleries of me. Apparently the fact that I got my mouth washed out with soap was rather noteworthy and enjoyed by a number of people (one of those people was not me, but I suppose that’s the point.) It’s not something I do in my personal life, but it certainly lent itself well to the theme of the story and I had no problem doing it for the video.

Domestic Spanking Blog did a write up that featured similar mouth soaping photos. Again, I guess people like it!

I like my concerned face and the socks best about this photo!

Spank Badass had a couple of posts about me, as well. I enjoy hearing reviews which mention that I’m used to pain because I’m rather proud of/obsessed with my own tolerance. They posted this photo of me and Clare, which seems to be pretty popular. I’ve got this kind of wincing smile, probably because it “hurts so good.”

Femdom Destiny features photos from another set that we did that day. I’m wearing a bow in my hair in these that was made for me by one of my all time best friends, ellee. ^_^

Again with the worried face!

OK! I had reason to be worried!

Amateur OTK Spanking Blog wrote about another set that I did– one that I particularly liked because it involved pajamas which are simply the coziest thing to be spanked while wearing.

SAD FACE! 

With good reason!

I’m now featured on the Clare Fonda Pass models page, and I’m kind of in love with my doe-eyed expression there. 

On a note unrelated to my shoot with Clare, Spanking Fetish Clips has a bit about my most recent shoot with Assume the Position Studios and my fun, Hunger Games Spanking Fan Fiction video that I filmed along with Christy Cutie. If you haven’t checked that out, you should!

Christy and I being adorable friendsies pre-spanking

My lovely bottom in its most natural of states!

Finally, I only recently became aware of the fact that my Chelsea Spanks… shoot is available on DVD now! I’m partnered with Mei Mara. In case you’ve forgotten how awesome that shoot was, here’s a refresher:

If I were you, I would buy that.

Finally, my friend over at The Spanking Resource has a piece about the Spankingtube preview of my newest video with Lily Starr Spanking. I really appreciate the attention! I’ll be posting a lot more about that video soon.

That’s all I could track down about myself! I hope you guys are as excited as I was about all the new content! 

I haven’t had a whole lot going on recently (as mentioned in my previous post). This is largely due to some health issues and other personal stressors that have been present in my life recently. Bit by bit, those things have been getting squared away and I’m back to feeling like myself on a daily basis and doing those cool human things like eating, sleeping and not feeling sick. w00t.

The level of excitement rose rather greatly, though, because Heather and I left for Northern California to do a shoot for Spanking Court’s new project: Sternwood Academy. The traveling wasn’t entirely easy: we weren’t able to get any sort of direct flight from South Dakota to NorCal so we ended up zigzagging around the country a bit, but I was very glad to have Heather with me on my three flights. As is often the case, having her around made something that might be a bit of a drag into a good time.
We arrived in Reno and got picked up and driven to studio in Lake Tahoe. I met two of the other models that I was working with this weekend, Cheyenne Jewel and Ela Darling in the car. They’re both super sweet and a lot of fun to hang out with. I knew that Ela and were a good match when we were talking about how to cry on command and she said that she just needed to think about Snape and Lily.

I honesty don’t think/talk about this very much because it chokes me up so much.

Then she showed me this video and I was smitten. 😀 I could really go on about how I think that everything about Ela’s brain is sexy, but I think you guys get it.

Getting into my uniform for the shoot was one of the most exciting moments of my life. I know it sounds stupid, but a world which combines formality, academia, cuteness and spanking is pretty much a world that was built for me. It’s true: when I got dressed, Dana Kane told me that I was born to wear the uniform.

Heather and I in our messy dorm room!

I’ve worn lots and lots of school uniforms before, mostly ones that I’ve assembled piece by piece from things I found online or at the thrift store, but being twinsies with a bunch of other smart, beautiful women was just over the top awesome.

The weekend was A LOT of shooting. This isn’t a problem for me because the point at which I get burned out from being spanked too much is something that scientists can only theorize about. I actually ended up creating an extra scene in which I get spanked with Katerina of Spanking Ms. Cali after class because I’ve always wanted to be spanked with her ever since I first met her at Spanking Court. That was a ton of fun. Heather and I also did our first ever professional video together! That was extremely exciting!

I love this girl with my ENTIRE heart!

We also had several scenes in which all the Sternwood girls get spanked in a row, which was pretty intense and fun to shoot. Getting to pass notes and screw around in class was out of character for me, but something I could totally get behind.

I don’t want to go to deeply into what, exactly, we shot (because I want you to buy the DVD when it gets released!) but it’s all very fun stuff that’s made by spankos and for spankos. I personally don’t usually enjoy watching my content, but I’m excited to see how the classroom looked through the camera. It’s got to be pretty freaking awesome.

From left to right: Cheyenne Jewel, Ela Darling, Alex Reynolds (THAT’S ME!) and Heather Michaels

In the evenings and other spare time, I got a lot of chances to talk to Miss Dana Kane (because we were staying in the same apartment) and this is something that I’m really glad that I got to do. She’s a really remarkable woman. She’s incredibly smart, talented at what she does, clever, hilarious, fun and amazingly kind. She’s also hella beautiful and she carries herself with an amount of confidence I’ve rarely seen a woman pull off. She’s one of the few people I’ve interacted with who presents herself with no apologies or shame regarding her femininity. In other words, she’s simultaneously a woman and a total badass and is entirely unapologetic for that, despite what our society teaches us about what we should be. I really aspire to be as awesome as she is.

On the second day, once I was feeling very in my element indeed, I asked Dana if she would spank me harder during our scenes and she happily agreed to that. Spanking videos are easier for me to film if I’m actually getting the hell smacked out of me because that’s my most pure and natural state of being. I got genuine tears going a couple of times during the weekend, but a lot of that was motivated by the happiness of being around a whole bunch of people who were celebrating the stuff that I love that I’d been long taught by my external culture should make me ashamed.

That and the fact that I was getting hit pretty hard!

In one of our paired scenes, Dana broke a spoon somewhere between Heather and I. It was Heather’s first broken implement, and we each took a piece that fits together in a sort of spanko friendship heart.

At the end of the weekend, I had a pretty red and sore bottom:

I’m trying to edit photos in my phone now. Thanks, Japan, for Purikura Apps!

In all, the experience was epic! I’ve been exhausted recently, but I’ll hopefully be getting more blogging done in the next few days. I’ve got LOTS more news! 

It’s been a while since I’ve posted. I’m hardly seen online these days. My activity on fetlife is sporadic. My stats show that this has been my lowest traffic month this year, despite my attempts to draw more attention by using twitter and tumblr. I’ve had people express that my partial withdraw from the community worries them.

It isn’t something to worry about. I’m quite fine. Unfortunately, for various complex reasons, I am currently not being spanked regularly anymore. Because of this, I don’t have much to talk about. Furthermore, because I’d obviously rather be getting spanked than not getting spanked, I find it a bit saddening to hear about everyone else’s adventures, and I find myself not wanting to read blogs or look at photos. Still, with or without new stories, I know that Spankingland is the place where I belong. Frankly, being offline hasn’t helped to quell my desires, either. Everywhere I go, I find things that remind me of spanking. Hairbrushes, belts, wooden spoons and more are on display when I go shopping. The trees sway with switches. A male coworker rolls up his shirt sleeves and puts his hands on his hips. A vanilla friend talks smack about “Words With Friends” by saying he’s going to “give me an ass whuppin.” At this point in my life, I have more spanko friends than vanilla friends that I talk to on a regular basis. And I have to admit that even if I was in an empty room with nothing to remind me of spanking, my brain would go there anyway. It’s in my brain and it’s a part of me. There’s nothing I can do about those two things (not that I would want to in general. I just mean until things get back to normal).

The moral of this story is that I am going to try to return to my normal level of involvement in the community and that I apologize for my absence.

Fortunately, I was able to get spanked by a close friend in Sioux Falls on Friday night. He’s not a spanko (he’s a general kinkster) but he was a great Top and I really enjoy trying things that are a bit “different” than my usual comfort zone. I lay on the bed over a pillow while he sat next to me and spanked me with a variety of implements after giving me a nice, long (coveted) warmup. It was also a wonderfully long spanking: it lasted for about 45 minutes. It was enjoyable to have something nice and long instead of short and severe (of course I love that, too).

Heather and the Top’s wife (who is also my good friend) watched and sometimes bantered with us while I was being spanked, and then the four of us hung out while I “came down” from all the endorphins. I had a popsicle and cuddled my stuffed koala. It was a lovely night.

I greatly appreciated going to bed with a sore bottom that night, but waking up with one the next morning was even more lovely.

There will be more updates this week: I promise that much!
For now, I’ll live vicariously through you guys, so have lots of spanking adventures for me!

I use formspring to answer questions that are posed by friends, readers, fans, whoever. Today, I checked my inbox and among some sexual questions that I didn’t feel like answering was the following query:

Who are you really? 


At first glance, it’s the simplest question possible. I’m Alex, duh. But it came at a poignant moment for me, and it had a positive influence on my thought processes for a while. It’s one of the most important questions one can be asked or ask one’s self and it’s something that has been on my mind quite a bit recently. I’ve gone through a phase where I’ve been less than focused on being my best self. This isn’t to say that I’ve been something other than myself, or that I’ve been bad or awful or something. But when I read my older writing, there’s a difference. It isn’t that I lost something; more that I misplaced it. At worst, I’ve lost a sense of focus. I’ve been withdrawn and going through some things recently, and I’ve started to come out the other side. I know that this is vague, but I’m alright with that.

To answer this question, I could point to my fetlife profile, or post a photo, or do a bunch of other things, but I think what I’ll do is make a list of what I know to be true.

  • I’m a thinking human being.
  • I’m a woman.
  • I’m smart.
  • I enjoy writing, thinking, cooking, a variety of things that I find fun, submission, modeling and (of course) being spanked and I’m enhanced by these things.
  • I am (at my best) a person of my choices and volition.
  • I’m capable of doing a great many things.
  • I’m not my body.
  • I’m not other people’s perceptions of me.
  • I’m not who I used to be.
  • I’m not my past, or a product of it.
  • I’m not what society makes me.
  • I’m not the people that I love.
  • I am neither my feelings and emotions nor (at my best) a product of them.
  • I’m not just one of the sides of me. I can’t be shrunken down to being a cute girl or a bookish nerd or a spanko. I may present myself differently in different situations, but it doesn’t change who or what I am.
  • I’m a good person and a strong person, but these are not inherent traits. These are choices that I have to constantly make.
  • I am (again, at my best) a person that I like and who is worth liking.
[I did not post this to formspring because it bothered me to post it in two places. I can be like that sometimes.]WELL! Now that my deep stuff is out of the way, I’d like to direct your attention to my tumblr, where I post very not deep photos :P. Special thanks to The-Boss-of-Me, parttimelondoner, for teaching me basic Photoshop and for being the boss of me. <3

I’m finally getting around to posting about one of the most exciting parts of my vacation to Los Angeles for me. I got to meet Erica Scott.

I’m sure that my readers are familiar with who she is: she’s pretty much the best spanking blogger (in my opinion) and she has a wonderful mix of wit, insite and honesty in her writing. She’s also a fellow spanking model and has made some pretty awesome videos.

Erica was also, without her knowledge,  fairly influential to my choice to get actively involved in the spanking scene instead of keeping my spanking life a secret, hidden activity that I did not share with anyone but the few who were involved. It went like this: I got drunk one night and made a fetlife account and started trolling through spanking related groups and observing how people interacted with each other in them, trying to see if it was a place where I felt I could ever “fit in.” I noticed various people who seemed pretty awesome, and others who made me decidedly uncomfortable. I’ve always been a “no nonsense” kind of girl. I don’t take bullshit from people. If someone who hasn’t earned the right to tries to boss me around, they’re in for it. If someone makes a creepy sexual advance at me, I will make fun of them to all my friends. I had trouble figuring out how someone who enjoys taking a passive role and likes to be spanked (this was before the idea that I might have *gasp* submission in me had even been allowed to enter my mind) could present herself as both these things. The kind of woman that I ideally wanted to be was one who was outspoken, confident, even boisterous, who had no shame about what she wanted and knew that her choices, be they to be spanked, to be passive, to choose to submit, what have you, did not make her any less fierce and respectable. But I didn’t know if that was possible, or if the community could find that to be “okay.”

Then I discovered Erica and I knew not only was it possible to be the kind of woman that I wanted to be, but that there was someone setting a positive example for me in the community. Having Erica around, just on the internet, made me feel somehow safer and it made me like the Spanking World, hell, the world in general, more because she existed.

Then a sock puppet claiming to be a Mormon spanko started to freak out when “she” got called out on her socketry and attacked a whole group of people, including me, and I discovered that the spanking community was FULL of smart, strong, hilarious women like Munchkin, Lily Starr, The Famous Kat (who doesn’t seem to have a blog anymore), and Iggy, and that the male Tops were often awesomely fun individuals that I could truly respect anywhere, like Richard Windsor. And then suddenly, BAM, I felt like I was part of something. I grabbed that and ran and my life has been pretty fricken amazing ever since.

Anyway, needless to say, I like Erica a lot and was looking forward to meeting her. We met up at a Starbucks and she got us some comfy chairs (since I was taking the bus due to transportation failures, she got there first). And then we started talking: we talked about our favorite people to film with, what my shoots had been like recently, what her best and worst experiences shooting had been, what she enjoyed about parties she’d attended, what I get out of playing with sadists and why that’s awesome for me and a bunch of other stuff. She explained the way that some groups and organizations within the scene came to be and she laughed out loud when I told her a clever brattism that I’d said in a recent shoot. Hanging out with her made me feel great: she’s warm and welcoming in person and just as well spoken as she is online. She’s fun and sweet and awesome. And she’s beautiful. There’s something about her that’s undeniably stunning.

We sat and talked for two and a half hours. It was an awesome day.

The rest of my trip to LA was largely filled with vanilla adventures.  I went to the Sanrio Store


and to Knott’s Berry Farm


and I sang Japanese Karaoke with Zeki. MaskofNormality took me out to Indian food and we talked about all sorts of stuff. Then, in the end, I packed up all my stuff and headed back to South Dakota. Malignus and Heather picked me up from the airport and I came home, got a lovely spanking and then started to catch up on all the sleep I missed. The trip was excellent, and I can’t wait until I have a chance to go back!

I’ve had a hard time keeping up with my blogging recently. This is largely because I’ve been working very hard trying to get another spanking related internet project (which I will hopefully be finishing and launching before the end of this week) off the ground. I’ve had a lot of technical difficulty but I’m a very proud person and I’ve been insistant on doing all the work by myself instead of seeking help. I’ve done a lot of other great things recently that I can’t wait to share, but I have to slog through them one at a time.
Today, I will be telling you about my third time shooting with Lily Starr Spanking. I’m very fond of Lily and her boyfriend, Robert Wolf. They drove out to Los Angeles from their location in the desert in order to shoot with me and with Erica Scott the next day. Unfortunately, NOTHING went right about getting to the shoot. It’s a ridiculous list of things that became problematic. It would have been a night of wacky hijinxes if I hadn’t been tired and desperately wanting to arrive at my shoot so instead it was a night of sad problems that annoyed me and were almost funny, but not quite.
I eventually got to Lily and Robert’s hotel room in the middle of the night. They were quite happy to see me and we talked and joked for a little while. We then filmed our first scene. It was an F/F scene where Lily discovered some slutty underwear (given to me by Maddycake) in my drawer and got all irate about it. It was a lot of fun to film and I got to say some good, witty lines. 
After this, Robert and I decided to do the most serious scene that I’ve done with them. It’s actually the most serious and personal scene that I’ve done to date. It’s a real scene between us, in which Robert gives me a super hardcore spanking for showing up late and for messing up my plans that day and other irresponsibilities. This scene is pretty severe and has a lot of real crying in it, but it also highlights the excellent rapport that the two of us have, and it shows a lot of affection on his part afterwards. I should hope viewers will be able to tell that it was extremely relieving for me to be spanked in the way that I was during that video, and it was an experience I was really glad to share with Robert, because he’s awesome. 

Yep!


After shooting, Robert told me that there were a few times when he felt a little bad because he was hitting me so hard and almost laid off the intensity a little bit, but then he thought “Wait! This girl lives with Malignus!” and kept going. 😛 True. Story.  
When we were finished, my pillow was wet with tears and makeup: 

And so was my face!

I REALLY like this photo of my face. I think it captures a lot of the way I was feeling.

I can’t wait for Lily to post the clips and to share those with you! Stay tuned for more updates!

Oh, Hai!

Alex

Los Angeles, California, United States

First and foremost, I’m a girl who loves being spanked. It’s at the very center of my being. I’m also a professional spanking model, which means I get to do what I love for my job. I’m twenty six years old, and currently located in Los Angeles when I’m not traveling around on my adventures. My vanilla interests include poetry, film history, academia, Pokemon, indie music, baby animals, baking and cooking, collecting vintage clothes and lots of cuddling.

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