I bet you’re pretty surprised to see me updating my blog, aren’t you? It’s been…well, over a year. Something like 18 months, I guess. Blogging is something that I’ve had an increasing amount of difficulty finding time to do, but I miss it, and I’d like to start putting in the effort to make it happen again. It’s a bit odd, though. Since I stopped blogging very often several years ago, I kind of feel like you guys don’t know me that well anymore. Hopefully, you’re still following me on Twitter and Tumblr, although Tumblr has become kind of a lost cause these days, and maybe you follow me on Instagram when my account isn’t being deleted. But I’d like to catch up with you all here, in this space that belongs entirely to me.
To start things off, I went through and updated all my pages. There’s a new travel schedule, new answers and some new questions in the FAQ, new credits on my Resume/links list, and some updated information about booking a session with me. Please don’t think that just because sometimes life gets out of control with regards to my ability to blog that I’m not available for sessions, custom videos, or shoots anymore: I am still accepting new people to play with and love working on new artistic projects!
I obviously can’t tell you every single thing that happened in the past 18 months, but I’m just going to give you some bullet points.
– Working on Northern Spanking has become a huge part of my life. I love that site so much, and I’m passionately dedicated to making the best possible spanking content, as well as being the kind of producer that I would ideally want to work with as a model. I do not like to brag, but I’m very proud of the work that we’ve done, and I think that it’s only getting better. Here are a few favorite scenes I’ve worked on recently:
– In fact, at the end of last year, we launched a completely redesigned version of the website, which is much more technologically advanced as well as more visually pleasing than the old site. You can save favorites, search tags, stream video in addition to downloading it, create a queue, see your recently watched films…and do all of it from mobile, as well. Let me tell you, being able to use my own website from my phone has greatly improved the quality of my life. Anyway, if you’ve never joined the site before, you probably should give it a try, because I love it and I think it’s amazing.
– Also last year, we launched a new brand: Spanked and Diapered. I don’t know if I’ve ever really blogged about my exploration of ABDL, but it began when I first got to know Adriana. It’s something that had always been a low-key interest of mine. I can remember early “startles” the same way that I can about spanking, but the interest was more of a curiosity and not a pressing need the way that my spanking obsession was. So, it went on the backburner, because my spanking interest was very powerful and it took up all my fantasy time.
When Adriana and I first started playing together and she helped me to explore that interest, it immediately worked for me. I don’t identify as an ABDL. I’m very careful about this, because I know that there’s a huge difference between someone who likes spanking but can get by fine without it and a dyed-in-the-wool spanko, and I’ve been known to be a little bit touchy about the language there. So, it’s important for me to be respectful. That said, a lot of ABDLs love to include spanking in their play, the same way that I love to include ageplay, babyspace, regression, and of course, diapers in some of mine.
Anyway, we decided to create a site dedicated to this intersection of my fetish and my kink. Last year, we launched a Clips Store featuring a bunch of my favorite models doing some very hot stuff. Now, we’re working on getting a membership site up and running, which I’ll be telling you all about very soon. It’s so exciting to me. This is the first time that I’ve seen something go from an idea to an actual, full-fledged website, and it’s delightful.
– My cat, Gizmo, who I often called “the baby monster” on this site back when I gave my cats scene names as if that was ever going to matter, passed away just over a year ago. I’m honestly still incredibly sad. He was an old man, and even older for his breed, but he had spent so much of my life by my side and he was one of the sweetest animals that I ever knew. I honestly think I’ll be sad about it forever.
After he passed away, my other cat, Senor (“the punk”) got very depressed and anxious. He’s like me– prone to a lot of big emotions. Everyone recommended that we get another cat, and it seemed like it would be easier to introduce him to a kitten, so my new little boy, FBI Special Agent Dale Cooper the Cat (aka Cooper most of the time) came into our lives. Tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of us getting Coop.
Honestly, it took Senor a long time to warm up to him. Cooper has A LOT of energy, and it seemed like the day that we got the kitten was the day that Senor decided that he was a senior cat! But now, I can safely say that they love each other. They spend a lot of time play wrestling, but also will sleep next to each other and lick each other’s fur. Heckin’ cute.
– I did A LOT of traveling. Honestly, the main reason I never blogged is because I was basically never home, and I was often keeping myself so busy that I was going to bed as soon as I got to my hotel/airbnb/whatever. I’m trying to do a little bit less of that this year, but then I look at my travel schedule and I see that that’s probably unlikely. I do, however, hope to manage it a little bit better.
-Throughout the course of my blogging, I’ve referred back to several different health problems that were constantly popping up throughout my life. If I remember right, I’ve generally been pretty vague about them, but I have severe allergies, migraines, sinus and respiratory problems, some skin problems, digestive issues…and a few other things. Last year, I got diagnosed with a condition called Mast Cell Activation Syndrome. It turns out that all the various problems that I’ve been trying to treat separately all had one root cause. I’m taking medications and supplements, and I’m eating a kind of odd seeming restricted diet (for example, I can never eat chocolate again) but I’m doing much better. My energy levels are better, and as a general rule, the amount of days where I don’t feel well has gotten much lower.
I say “as a general rule” because I was sick for approximately all of the winter in one way or another. Extremes in temperature make my condition flare, and I was on the east coast when it was freezing and snowing in November and had a ton of symptoms that just wouldn’t quit. I was doing better for a couple of weeks and then I got sick right before Christmas…and I just stayed sick. I had a cold that began bronchitis that became a sinus infection, and that flared up the respiratory side of my MCAS…
Anyway, I’m finally feeling better now. I guess what I’m trying to say is that my new treatment plan isn’t a cure: I still have issues sometimes. But as a general rule, the number of days per year where I feel well has only been going up, and I’d say that most of the time, I feel great. I’m much much much better than I was. Plus, I’ve been losing a lot of weight since I got healthier, which has been a great bonus.
– My Top space has continued to develop. Over the past couple of years, my interest in Topping has gone from just being an interest into a full-fledged core part of my kink play. Sometimes, I’ll go to events and only end up playing as a Top and I’ll leave feeling happy and content. My needs as a bottom as still extremely core to me, of course, but so many of my fantasies these days are about things like being a teacher or professor and spanking naughty students, for example.
– In less uplifting news, my (real, biological) mom was diagnosed with cancer a couple months ago and has been inpatient in the hospital since early December. I got to visit her twice so far– difficult because she’s in New York and I’m in California, and she seems to be doing pretty well, but it’s just been a stressful time. Add on top of that the fact that a very important person to me here in LA who is only 25 also got a cancer diagnosis in May and is still undergoing treatment now…and it’s been a tough year. It gets very heavy to deal with sometimes, knowing that two people that I love are on opposite sides of the country and dealing with different forms of the same terrible illness. I do my best to be supportive of both of them while also taking care of myself.
Gifts of Airline and Hotel gift cards REALLY help me right now, by the way. They allow me to be able to travel and see my mom while she’s recovering!
-At the end of the day, I’m still just a naughty girl who loves spanking and enjoys participating in it whenever possible! The last year had challenges, for sure, but it also had great times: Paul and I took a long road trip to the PNW with just the two of us and had a wonderful time together, and I got a lot of chances to visit my favorite friends. There are many of those coming up soon, too. I’m heading to Denver soon, to shoot for Real Spankings and visit friends, and at the end of next month I’ll be headed to Vegas to meet up with a ton of my favorite humans.
– I have two new ways that you can get naughty business from me: I have an Only Fans now, which I update every single day with exclusive selfies, photosets, and video. It’s got a lot of my most intimate content on it. I also now have a Many Vids store where you can see me exploring various different fetishes! So far, that store has less emphasis on spanking, but it’s got a lot of sexy stuff.
Ok, friends. This post has been kind of a weird mix of exciting stuff, work stuff, very personal stuff, and sad things. But I’m glad to be back here, and I will do my very best to post again soon.
Look at me, continuing my post! Two posts in one month! This year is off to a good start…well, in terms of posts anyway.
Let’s get into it right away and look at scenes 6 – 10 in my top ten favorite scenes of 2016!
6) Sister Trouble from Momma Spankings
This scene was shot when I was in Vegas at an event with friends early in 2016. It was during this time when Adriana Evans and I were first starting to bond. Getting close to Adriana and building our special relationship (one part lovers, one part like sisters, one hundred percent normal, don’t worry about it) has really been one of the most special things that’s happened since 2016, and I hope that we get to spend a lot of time together in 2017. She’s very previous to me. *heart eyes*
Anyway, during this event, I was shooting for my friend Sarah Gregory and her sites and she asked if I wanted to do a scene with Adriana. Of course I said yes! The plot that she made up for us once again worked very, very well. Adriana was teasing me for being too babyish and always wearing overly cute things while she prefers to have a more grown up, sexy appearance. This is like, the core of a lot of our interactions in real life, to be honest, except it’s just playful teasing. In this video, we started really fighting, and our mom, played by Miss Anna, had to come and punish us for it.
I was in a kind of emotional mood that day (I don’t remember the reason, probably because I was at the event without Paul since he was still in England at the time) and I started crying real tears right away, even during the hand spanking! Whyyyyy could those tears not have come when I was getting bathbrushed? There are no answers to these questions.
7) Up All Night from Kitchen Sink Spanking
Another thing which I really loved in 2016 was the fact that my friend Princess Kelley made her return to shooting spanking videos! I got to shoot with her a handful of times, mostly with me directing her for Northern Spanking (but a few of her topping me there, too) and also when we shot for Real Spankings as mentioned earlier, where she topped me for quite a few scenes.
Kelley moved to the East Coast at the end of the summer, after having been a good friend who I enjoyed spending a lot of time with in LA. Before she left, we got together at her house to do one last shoot together, where we shot scenes for both Northern and for my side project, Kitchen Sink Spanking. KSS is sort of a hodgepodge of things, often becoming a home for scenes that we film that don’t otherwise fit in with Northern’s themes. It was originally a place that was meant to be about me, personally, though, so we filmed a couple of scenes with Kelley that fit that original concept.
In this scene, I’m Kelley’s roommate and I’m horribly irresponsible with my sleep schedule (again, we’re getting a little too real here with the sleep thing). Kelley gets up early to go to the gym and discovers that I’m still awake and lounging on the sofa. She decides that I can’t make good choices on my own, and that she’s going to spank me for staying up all night. She does exactly that, then makes me change into very childish pajamas to emphasize what a naughty little girl I’m being before strapping me and sending me off to bed. I really love the sort of forced ageplay theme, and Kelley and I had very good energy together for that.
8) Busted for Blackmail from Cheerleader Spankings
Cheerleader Spankings just came out in 2016! It was (I think) the only new site this year and it was a very exciting launch. I had filmed some scenes for it before it was set up, and one of them is this scene, which features me and Maddy Marks.
Maddy is one of my favorite people to Top. I know her very well and we’ve been close friends for a long time, so I know how she likes to play. In fact, I think she was one of the very first people I ever topped, and she was definitely the first person I topped on camera. I was very excited to get to shoot this scene with her, since it was kind of darker, bullying scene, and that’s something that I really enjoy exploring. I like this when in both roles, but it’s something I’ve taken a strong interest in as a Top. I like the way that Maddy responds to having mean and unfair things done to her, and playing with her in this capacity has really let me learn how to let that side of myself loose.
In this scene, I’ve caught Maddy trying to blackmail me, and I’m going to really make her pay for it. I get to be quite bossy, and Maddy is caught in a bit of a pickle, since she can’t exactly protest against anything that I do to her, or else I’ll reveal her blackmailing scheme. She gets spanked, the hairbrush and a hard paddling, all of which I take great delight in dishing out.
Honestly, this is one of my favorite scenes I’ve done as a Top, period!
9) Three Girls Paddled After Gym from Real Spankings Institute (once again, this isn’t the real name, sorry)
Earlier in the day when I shot the “Rematch” scene I was talking about a few scenes ago, I got my customary school paddling that I always seem to get when I shoot for Real Spankings. School paddlings are tough. They’re a different kind of pain than most other spankings. It’s so much hurt coming down on you so suddenly. I don’t do these kinds of paddlings often, because there are few Tops who I feel comfortable taking them from (and at home, there’s a strong preferences for caning to fill the same kind of disciplinary niche).
The scene was planned so that Maddy, Harley and I were all going to be paddled and I was going to be the first one to go. In retrospect, that seems a little bit unfair to me: I probably should have volunteered to go to last, since sitting and waiting while you can hear your friends getting spanked is pretty intimidating, and I’m the only one of the three of us who had ever been paddled by Michael before, so that made me the senior girl out of us. I should have taken one for the team. But, at the time, no one thought of that (and I probably only thought of it now because it’s a theme that’s been coming up a lot in the erotica I’ve been reading, for full disclosure).
That all said, I know Michael Masterson very well, and he knows exactly how much I can take. When playing with him, that’s an awful lot. He didn’t know either of the other two girls, so I was probably in for the hardest spanking. We were to get ten swats total. The first five were from The Dean (that is to say, Michael) and the second set were from Miss Kelley. Kelley isn’t a soft paddler, either, but she and I have never played in such a limit pushing way, so I was less nervous about taking her swats, although I probably shouldn’t have been.
When we were all sitting outside the room listening to Michael and Kelley talk about how badly behaved we’d been and what they were going to do to us, I got very, very nervous. I hadn’t had a paddling like this in a long time and I knew that it was going to hurt, and a lot. The scene was very immersive, sitting in the chairs in the other room with the door open and listening to these authority figures talking about what was going to happen to us and knowing that it was going to happen soon. It was very, very, very my kink. I fell deep into the headspace of a naughty student awaiting discipline and in that moment, the whole thing became completely real for me. There’s no other way for me to say it. It didn’t feel like a fantasy at all. It just felt like I was in it, sitting in front of the Dean’s office awaiting an undeniable spanking. When I caught glances at my two friends, they looked very scared as well.
Honestly, it was one of the most immersive scene experiences I’ve ever had. I feel a feeling that I can only express as a love/hate relationship towards really intense and immersive scenes, but that’s not exactly accurate. I don’t feel this way about every scene, but in certain cases, when playing with people that I know well and know are able to bring me there, I want it to be really scary. I want to not like it. I want to truly wish that it was over, or that it wasn’t happening to me. I want to feel that scared and regretful “Why did I do such a dumb thing to get myself into trouble, I promise I’ll never misbehave again” feeling in my stomach. So, when a scene feels real, I don’t exactly like it while it’s happening. But I crave that headspace, and I love it pretty much the instant it’s finished. That headspace is rare for me, but it’s remarkable when it does come through, and it’s a memory that will remain gratifying for a long, long time.
It was my turn to come into the office and to bend over the desk to be paddled. The Dean told me to place my hands flat on the desk and to keep my feet on the floor. This is hard for me. I like to grip things and hold on for dear life, and I tend to kick my feet around a lot. He made it clear that if I moved in either way, I was going to get extra. In reality, I don’t know if he meant it or not, but I wasn’t in reality when this scene happened. I knew that I needed to be still, even though it was going to be hard to.
I had kind of stopped caring about being still and taking spankings “well” at some point. It generally looks more visually interesting on video if you move around a lot, so I had sorted of adopted that as a go-to. And I do like resisting. And I do like being overpowered. But I found in my head a space that I used to enjoy going to a lot, where I could overpower myself. I focused on that and told myself that I was not going to move.
The descriptions that I have for the first paddle swat are really, really cliche sounding. I feel like I saw stars, my whole mind alight with how hard the swat had been. I felt like I was physically moved forward by the force of it (which is kind of impressive because I’m not exactly a wisp of a girl). The air was practically knocked out of me, and I lingered in this very long second where I felt the impact before I felt the pain, and then everything went double fast in order to catch up. I made a truly pitiful noise and my knee buckled, but I didn’t take my hands or feet away from where they were supposed to be.
The second swat followed directly. It was still hard, but not as shockingly so. My wailing didn’t sound any less pathetic, though. The third swat brought me to tears, which was a relief. Crying felt right. It felt real. And it let some of the tension out of my body.
After the third swat, I knew I had two more to go before there was a break as the Tops switched. This meant that I was more than halfway to my first goal. I have a theory that I tell myself when I’m taking spankings and I get concerned that I can’t take what I’m getting: anyone can take ten swats with anything. This, of course, isn’t actually true, and the use of the word “anyone” can get a bit hairy if you think about it too hard, but it’s a useful thought to go to when things are (intentionally) overwhelming. But there is a sort of truth to it: a lot of “taking it” comes down to “letting it happen.” Accepting that this hurts. Not resisting or panicking. So I got myself to that point, and I cried a lot. The last two swats seemed close together in my mind.
We switched over to Kelley paddling me, and I was honestly a bit surprised by how hard her first swat was. I had kind of had the idea that because, in the real world, Kelley is a close friend of mine, that meant that she wasn’t going to punish me so severely. I don’t know where I got that idea from: it was wrong. My bottom was already incredibly sore from the swats that had come before and I was already in tears when she started spanking me, but at least my resistance was pretty gone. I counted each swat so carefully in my head. I actually made a little puddle of tears on the desk, I think. My palms were tremendously sweaty as they pressed against the desk’s surface. But I didn’t move.
When the paddling was over, I was told to go sit back outside and listen to Maddy and Harley as they got their spankings. I kept crying for a little while as I sat there, but I was a little bit less immersed in the scene. I was out of it just enough to be sky high happy about what an intense experience I had just had.
I was so sore when this scene was over. My butt felt swollen and like it should be absolutely purple. But by the time that my friends had finished receiving their punishments and we all lined up to show off our marks, I was hardly even pink. I appreciate the fact that my body recovers quickly in terms of color, because it allows me to continue to shoot after doing tough scenes like this. But it drives me crazy that I don’t get the satisfaction and gratification of having people look at my butt and know exactly how sore I am.
10) By Order of the Court from Northern Spanking
It’s probably no surprise that my favorite scene that I shot this year was for my own site. It was REALLY hard to pick a favorite because I really pour my heart and soul into everything that we do for Northern. This scene was particularly fun because it was a group scene that involved a lot of people that I really like: my friends Cupcake SinClair and Harley Havik, plus Violet October, who I got to know and become friends with because of this shoot. Plus, Paul was the Top, and he’s my favorite Top!
By Order of the Court was a custom film. It took a lot of planning to do: we had to rent a location, Violet flew in from Vegas for the shoot, and there were a ton of schedules to coordinate. I particularly like doing customs. I really enjoy the directing side of making a spanking video, and it’s fun to direct from someone else’s script. It just so happened that the script for this scene was a fantasy that I really enjoy: a judicial punishment. The film has no explicit setting but it has a generically English feeling, especially because of the fact that in addition to caning, one of us got the birch. The one of us was me!
This was my first proper birching. Previous to this I had gotten a few strokes from Pandora Blake during a photoset we did for Dreams of Spanking and Paul had given we a couple of strokes over my leggings when we were in the Inveraray Jail Museum in Scotland. They had a birching bench and a birch on display with a sign that said “please try.” It was the kinkiest museum of all time.
So, I was very curious to discover what full force strokes of the birch on the bare felt. I could take a guess and say that they were going to hurt.
When we arrived at the house that we had rented in order to do this film, we immediately started to look for branches that might be suitable for making birches. We pulled into the driveway, opened the house up, checked the rooms and then got right to work stripping long, thing, flexible branches off the trees. There had been no appropriate ones near our house. I could imagine that to an outside observer who didn’t know what we were doing it would seem like very odd proceedings.
Eventually, we decided that we couldn’t find enough branches there, either, so we drove to a nearby park. I was somewhat embarrassed to be looking for appropriate birch making materials in a public park, but Paul assured me that there was nothing weird about it. When he started stripping them down in the parking lot (BECAUSE HE HAS NO CHILL), someone came up to us and asked what we were doing. Paul lightheartedly joked that we were going to make a wreath. I don’t know if he was convinced or not.
We filmed the scene the next day. It involved the first three girls each getting 25 strokes of the cane, followed by me receiving my birching. First, we all had to strip naked, and I ended up directing parts of the scene that didn’t involve me that way. Porn life!
I enjoyed watching as Paul thrashed each of the girls before me. I was fascinated by watching their different reactions to the punishment. I’m particularly fond of watching him Top other girls. I don’t get to see the way that his body moves or his facial expressions when I’m the one getting spanked by him, and I love these things.
After watching him deliver 75 cane strokes, it was time for me to get my birching. I was nervous, but mostly excited to see what it would be like.
What it was like was extremely stingy. Despite being bundled together, it still bore almost no weight. It was the whippiness of a switch but spread across a wider area of my bottom. It did have less bite because of that. It still left me whimpering and gasping. When it was finished, I was a little endorphin high and very sore. My friends were obviously in similar states.
In order to prevent this post from being EVEN LONGER THAN IT ALREADY IS I only included pictures from my segment of this scene. The full scene is over 40 minutes long, but the whole thing is extremely engaging to watch. I highly recommend it. It was, in fact, my favorite scene I did this year!