I’m back from approximately 11,587 adventures that have left me away from home and mostly off the internet for a long time. Paul is in England and I’m back in Los Angeles, so for the time being, we aren’t shooting anything for Northern Spanking or our other forthcoming projects, which means that I have a little bit more free time than I usually do. I spent the morning catching up on email, and I have my House Boy coming to do chores this afternoon. I decided that it would be really nice to get back into blogging, if I can. Blogging used to be such a habit for me, but when I start again, it never sticks. It makes sense. My life is full to the brim with travel, producing and appearing in videos, doing sessions, going to events and spending time with partners and friends. It gets overwhelming pretty often, and during times when it isn’t, I feel the need to unplug and just enjoy being with people. At the same time, I love being able to share my stories and come home from my trips with something that all of you can enjoy, too.
So, let’s try again. Maybe this will be an isolated post, or maybe it won’t. We’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?
Working backwards in terms of places I’ve been recently, I arrived home from Denver the other night. Denver, of course, is where I go to shoot for the Real Spankings sites, and to visit my BFF, Amoni, who lives out there.
I shoot for Real Spankings a couple of times a year, generally speaking. It used to be more often than that when I lived in the midwest and had a life that it was easier to sneak away from. Real Spankings was one of the first spanking websites that I ever looked at when I was starting to explore what the internet had to offer– I think this is the case for many people. I remember being totally enamored with it, and I know that lots of aspects of it made an imprint on the way that my fetish developed.
The first times that I went out and shot for their site were nerve wracking but extremely exciting. I was such a fan girl, having watched these videos for years and years at this point. Real Spankings has a very particular aesthetic, and even though the location where they shoot has moved a lot of times, they’ve kept the look of the spaces consistent with the same furniture, wardrobe et cetera. It was a really immersive experience to then be able to walk directly into that world and be a part of it. The first time I wore the Real Spankings Institute uniform I felt like I was going to die from excitement.
Besides all the giddiness I had about participating in something that I’ve loved for a long time, there was a huge level of apprehension surrounding those first couple of shoots because, uh, the spankings on those sites are really hard. I remember wondering if I was going to be able to take it. It felt kind of like an ultimate test to me. At the time, I was playing really hard on a regular basis though, so I had a lot of confidence in my ability to endure. I was right– it was a painful experience, of course, but a very positive one and I was eager to repeat it.
The first two or even three times that I shot for Real Spankings, Michael Masterson wasn’t there. He was on a hiatus from appearing on film. The first time that I went out and met him was a really, really big deal for me. He was one of the first video Tops that I really fixated on, and I was both worried about making myself look stupid in front of him and I had more than a little healthy fear of getting spanked by him.
One of the ways that I’ve been most fortunate in my adventures exploring the world of spanking is the fact that the majority of the people that I was a fan of before meeting turned out to be genuinely amazing in real life. Sometimes I take a step back from my life and think about how surprised the younger version of myself would be by the adventures that I’m having and the wonderful people I get to spend time with. While I was in Denver, I had a moment like this. I realized that I was texting my partner, Paul Kennedy, to tell him about the great day that I had with my friend, Michael Masterson. I can’t imagine how badly it would have blown my mind to have known that this was going to end up being my life.
Anyway, in the present, I have become really close friends with Michael, and shooting for RS has remained something really special for me. It’s a space where I enjoy pushing myself, and Michael is one of the people who I trust the most to push me.
The idea of limits within a spanking scene is something that can be tricky. The more calloused side of myself sometimes hears someone (or even myself) say “I can’t take that” and thinks “well, what’s going to happen? Are you going to burst into flames?” For a long time, I thought that setting limits was a weakness and I did very little of that. There were things that I wasn’t going to seek out, but I was generally happy to take what I was given.
Then, I went through a period of time where I became very emotionally vulnerable and I came to understand the limits that people set for themselves quite a lot more. I struggled to relax and let things happen to me because I was afraid of getting hurt. This was something that colored my life for a long time, and which I’ve only recently been able to fully shake off. Even during the time that I was most protective and concerned, I felt totally safe and happy to push myself when shooting for RS. I’ve always felt so safe and emotionally comfortable there. I know that the spankings I’m going to get are going to hurt and leave me feeling sore, but I also know that I’m going to be safe and secure while it’s happening and that no one is going to do me any harm. This allows me to just be the person that I am and enjoy what we’re doing.
Basically, they’ve created an environment that makes me want to give it my all, to keep pushing myself and to make something that I really love and value.
All this said, a side effect of this environment is that I can let my headspace be really…real. I can let myself get really worked up over the spankings that I’m going to get because I know just how much they’re going to hurt. I always plan these trips pretty far in advance, and there’s a slow building of anticipation as the date approaches. I’ll be talking about my upcoming plans and I’ll mention going to go shoot for Real Spankings with *just a twinge* of nervousness about what that means: it’s still really far off at this point.
As my trip to Denver was getting closer and closer, I started thinking more and more about what was looming in my future and I started building it up in my head. I started remembering particularly hard spankings that I got in the past. I started remembering them really vividly, and these memories made my heart pound. There were times when I got spanked really, really hard. I was crying and struggling and deep in the headspace of being punished. Remembering these things nervously and knowing that they’re in the future as well as the past is an intense headspace experience for me. It creates just the right kind of fear. I have to really trust someone to feel the right kind of fear before a scene, but when I do, it makes the whole experience feel so authentic and all encompassing for me. For a scene to be totally gratifying for me, it has to build up this way.
By the time that I flew into Denver, I had worked myself up over this quite a lot.
My girlfriend, Adriana Evans, was already in Denver. We were going to be shooting together the next day. I’ve gotten to see Adriana a lot recently and I’ve been totally spoiled by it. She’s one of my favorite people in the world and we always have so much fun together. Being with her makes me feel really young and lighthearted. We got to hang out with Michael before shoot day, and had lots of fun.
The next day was time to shoot, at which point I was full of (enjoyable) nervous energy. It was so much fun to get to share this experience with Adriana, who totally gets me and who was greatly contributing to my headspace. She’s also just the best. I love doing anything with her.
We shot six scenes this day, and they built up in terms of toughness. The first scene was hand only, and I got to be a pervy voyeur while Adriana got spanked, so that was lots of fun. The next two scenes were harder: we both got strapped in both of them. Michael got the tops of my thighs a little bit with the second strap and I was a very sorry girl indeed. Listening to Adriana get her punishment and holding her wrists while she did it was very headspacey for me, too. These two scenes left me crying out and squirming around a little bit, but I was able to take them fairly well.
We were halfway through, but I knew that the second half was going to be more than a bit harder to take.
That didn’t mean it wasn’t fun, though! We got to do a scene where we wore the famous Real Spankings dropseat pajamas: one of the only things that I really remember watching but never had a chance to actually wear.
We took our dress up games too far, and got the belt. (This scene includes something special and exciting, too, that is right up Adriana’s alley, haha). We got to cuddle each other afterwards and enjoy a nice, lovey moment:
Real talk: this scene was hard and I was really struggling to be good during it. Michael’s belt isn’t just a normal belt. It’s crazy thick and very serious business and it always makes me particularly sorry. We got belted standing and bending over, which is a position that I struggle to maintain. I have to pay attention to keeping myself upright, which makes it harder for me to get into my totally passive headspace and prevents me from blocking out the pain a little with this. My butt was hot and my skin felt swollen and sore by the time this was done. I was close to crying, but not exactly there. Fortunately, I had Adriana to give me a bunch of cuddles, because I knew what was coming next: paddling.
Every time I come to shoot for Real Spankings, I get a school paddling. It’s just a fact of life. It’s ten swats, and I’m always telling myself “anyone can take ten swats of anything” when I become nervous. But those swats count. The whole thing is such an experience…it really feels like I’m actually getting punished at school. It’s (almost always) over jeans, which gives a certain level of protection and creates verisimilitude, but it also means that the swats can be that much harder. I used to be scared of getting paddle swats because I didn’t know what it would feel like…and now I’m scared of them because I do. There’s nothing else in the world that feels the same way. It’s this sudden an inescapable pain that comes with so much *force*. It feels like I’m going to go flying across the room. The sound is so loud, too, and the louder something is, the scarier it is. But it isn’t just sound: these swats are the kind of thing that you feel for a long time after the scene.
I managed to keep myself from getting *too* worked up this time. Sometimes, I get so deeply into my headspace that I start feeling lightheaded (I love it). I was feeling a little sweaty though, and my heart was definitely pounding. To make matters worse, Adriana got paddled first. Which is fair to her, really, since I’ve been paddled way more often than she has and that’s the way it’s supposed to work, right? The more experienced friend is the one who has to listen and worry?
I was very worried. The swats sounded hard and loud and Adriana was practically yelling by the end.
I was very hesitant as I got up and got in position for my paddling. I felt like I could look over to Adriana for support but I was too focused on what was going on inside my head for that. It was just as hard as I was worried it would be. I *did* yell, and probably sounded truly pathetic, to be perfectly honest. I fell deep into the emotional space of having been punished (even though it obviously wasn’t real) and felt very sore and sorry by the time it was over. But I didn’t cry. I was close, but not exactly there.
I usually cry whenever I shoot for Real Spankings, but sometimes I don’t– it just depends. I was in a pretty good emotional space and not carrying around baggage that I needed to get out, and I was well rested and surrounded by friends, so any tears that were going to come would just be from headspace and, yep, pain, not from me letting go of things I was carrying around (which sometimes happens in my life, and is honestly a great thing for me).
The last scene of the day was a school girl one, and it started out lighthearted and fun but as soon as I got the first smack with a heavy wooden ruler, I realized just how sore and busted my butt was and I immediately felt tears building. It had been a long day and my butt was really feeling it. Even though it didn’t really fit the scene, I felt comfortable to just let go and fall into that and I started crying. I honestly would have been disappointed if I hadn’t. This was the final piece of making the whole thing truly intense.
At the end of the scene, I got six strokes with a heavy yard stick and six with the cane and I just sobbed the whole time. Because spankings hurt, and what else are you supposed to do? I felt a little hazy afterwards: that’s a lot of adrenaline and endorphins, but I felt good. My needs were met, and I knew that the videos we had filmed were going to be great. Plus, I had gotten to share all these intense scenes with Adriana and Michael, two people I just adore.
My job is hard and demanding, but damn, it’s great sometimes. :3
We finished off our visit with a quick trip to Red Rocks:
That night, I went to Amoni’s house, where I immediately went to her freezer and stole an ice pack. I was definitely bruised and marked and it really did hurt to sit. It was great.
I was only in Denver for a day and a half after that, and I spent most of the time just hanging out with Amoni (and petting her really cute dog):
I also got to go see the Mountain Goats the next night, but this is Alex in Spankingland, not Alex in Indie Music Land so I won’t go into it too much. Suffice to say, it was a brilliant show and I had an amazing time.
The next morning I had to get up early to head back to LA. I was still very tender as I sat on the flight home!
Look at me, continuing my post! Two posts in one month! This year is off to a good start…well, in terms of posts anyway.
Let’s get into it right away and look at scenes 6 – 10 in my top ten favorite scenes of 2016!
This scene was shot when I was in Vegas at an event with friends early in 2016. It was during this time when Adriana Evans and I were first starting to bond. Getting close to Adriana and building our special relationship (one part lovers, one part like sisters, one hundred percent normal, don’t worry about it) has really been one of the most special things that’s happened since 2016, and I hope that we get to spend a lot of time together in 2017. She’s very previous to me. *heart eyes*
Anyway, during this event, I was shooting for my friend Sarah Gregory and her sites and she asked if I wanted to do a scene with Adriana. Of course I said yes! The plot that she made up for us once again worked very, very well. Adriana was teasing me for being too babyish and always wearing overly cute things while she prefers to have a more grown up, sexy appearance. This is like, the core of a lot of our interactions in real life, to be honest, except it’s just playful teasing. In this video, we started really fighting, and our mom, played by Miss Anna, had to come and punish us for it.
I was in a kind of emotional mood that day (I don’t remember the reason, probably because I was at the event without Paul since he was still in England at the time) and I started crying real tears right away, even during the hand spanking! Whyyyyy could those tears not have come when I was getting bathbrushed? There are no answers to these questions.
7) Up All Night from Kitchen Sink Spanking
Another thing which I really loved in 2016 was the fact that my friend Princess Kelley made her return to shooting spanking videos! I got to shoot with her a handful of times, mostly with me directing her for Northern Spanking (but a few of her topping me there, too) and also when we shot for Real Spankings as mentioned earlier, where she topped me for quite a few scenes.
Kelley moved to the East Coast at the end of the summer, after having been a good friend who I enjoyed spending a lot of time with in LA. Before she left, we got together at her house to do one last shoot together, where we shot scenes for both Northern and for my side project, Kitchen Sink Spanking. KSS is sort of a hodgepodge of things, often becoming a home for scenes that we film that don’t otherwise fit in with Northern’s themes. It was originally a place that was meant to be about me, personally, though, so we filmed a couple of scenes with Kelley that fit that original concept.
In this scene, I’m Kelley’s roommate and I’m horribly irresponsible with my sleep schedule (again, we’re getting a little too real here with the sleep thing). Kelley gets up early to go to the gym and discovers that I’m still awake and lounging on the sofa. She decides that I can’t make good choices on my own, and that she’s going to spank me for staying up all night. She does exactly that, then makes me change into very childish pajamas to emphasize what a naughty little girl I’m being before strapping me and sending me off to bed. I really love the sort of forced ageplay theme, and Kelley and I had very good energy together for that.
Cheerleader Spankings just came out in 2016! It was (I think) the only new site this year and it was a very exciting launch. I had filmed some scenes for it before it was set up, and one of them is this scene, which features me and Maddy Marks.
Maddy is one of my favorite people to Top. I know her very well and we’ve been close friends for a long time, so I know how she likes to play. In fact, I think she was one of the very first people I ever topped, and she was definitely the first person I topped on camera. I was very excited to get to shoot this scene with her, since it was kind of darker, bullying scene, and that’s something that I really enjoy exploring. I like this when in both roles, but it’s something I’ve taken a strong interest in as a Top. I like the way that Maddy responds to having mean and unfair things done to her, and playing with her in this capacity has really let me learn how to let that side of myself loose.
In this scene, I’ve caught Maddy trying to blackmail me, and I’m going to really make her pay for it. I get to be quite bossy, and Maddy is caught in a bit of a pickle, since she can’t exactly protest against anything that I do to her, or else I’ll reveal her blackmailing scheme. She gets spanked, the hairbrush and a hard paddling, all of which I take great delight in dishing out.
Honestly, this is one of my favorite scenes I’ve done as a Top, period!
9) Three Girls Paddled After Gym from Real Spankings Institute (once again, this isn’t the real name, sorry)
Earlier in the day when I shot the “Rematch” scene I was talking about a few scenes ago, I got my customary school paddling that I always seem to get when I shoot for Real Spankings. School paddlings are tough. They’re a different kind of pain than most other spankings. It’s so much hurt coming down on you so suddenly. I don’t do these kinds of paddlings often, because there are few Tops who I feel comfortable taking them from (and at home, there’s a strong preferences for caning to fill the same kind of disciplinary niche).
The scene was planned so that Maddy, Harley and I were all going to be paddled and I was going to be the first one to go. In retrospect, that seems a little bit unfair to me: I probably should have volunteered to go to last, since sitting and waiting while you can hear your friends getting spanked is pretty intimidating, and I’m the only one of the three of us who had ever been paddled by Michael before, so that made me the senior girl out of us. I should have taken one for the team. But, at the time, no one thought of that (and I probably only thought of it now because it’s a theme that’s been coming up a lot in the erotica I’ve been reading, for full disclosure).
That all said, I know Michael Masterson very well, and he knows exactly how much I can take. When playing with him, that’s an awful lot. He didn’t know either of the other two girls, so I was probably in for the hardest spanking. We were to get ten swats total. The first five were from The Dean (that is to say, Michael) and the second set were from Miss Kelley. Kelley isn’t a soft paddler, either, but she and I have never played in such a limit pushing way, so I was less nervous about taking her swats, although I probably shouldn’t have been.
When we were all sitting outside the room listening to Michael and Kelley talk about how badly behaved we’d been and what they were going to do to us, I got very, very nervous. I hadn’t had a paddling like this in a long time and I knew that it was going to hurt, and a lot. The scene was very immersive, sitting in the chairs in the other room with the door open and listening to these authority figures talking about what was going to happen to us and knowing that it was going to happen soon. It was very, very, very my kink. I fell deep into the headspace of a naughty student awaiting discipline and in that moment, the whole thing became completely real for me. There’s no other way for me to say it. It didn’t feel like a fantasy at all. It just felt like I was in it, sitting in front of the Dean’s office awaiting an undeniable spanking. When I caught glances at my two friends, they looked very scared as well.
Honestly, it was one of the most immersive scene experiences I’ve ever had. I feel a feeling that I can only express as a love/hate relationship towards really intense and immersive scenes, but that’s not exactly accurate. I don’t feel this way about every scene, but in certain cases, when playing with people that I know well and know are able to bring me there, I want it to be really scary. I want to not like it. I want to truly wish that it was over, or that it wasn’t happening to me. I want to feel that scared and regretful “Why did I do such a dumb thing to get myself into trouble, I promise I’ll never misbehave again” feeling in my stomach. So, when a scene feels real, I don’t exactly like it while it’s happening. But I crave that headspace, and I love it pretty much the instant it’s finished. That headspace is rare for me, but it’s remarkable when it does come through, and it’s a memory that will remain gratifying for a long, long time.
It was my turn to come into the office and to bend over the desk to be paddled. The Dean told me to place my hands flat on the desk and to keep my feet on the floor. This is hard for me. I like to grip things and hold on for dear life, and I tend to kick my feet around a lot. He made it clear that if I moved in either way, I was going to get extra. In reality, I don’t know if he meant it or not, but I wasn’t in reality when this scene happened. I knew that I needed to be still, even though it was going to be hard to.
I had kind of stopped caring about being still and taking spankings “well” at some point. It generally looks more visually interesting on video if you move around a lot, so I had sorted of adopted that as a go-to. And I do like resisting. And I do like being overpowered. But I found in my head a space that I used to enjoy going to a lot, where I could overpower myself. I focused on that and told myself that I was not going to move.
The descriptions that I have for the first paddle swat are really, really cliche sounding. I feel like I saw stars, my whole mind alight with how hard the swat had been. I felt like I was physically moved forward by the force of it (which is kind of impressive because I’m not exactly a wisp of a girl). The air was practically knocked out of me, and I lingered in this very long second where I felt the impact before I felt the pain, and then everything went double fast in order to catch up. I made a truly pitiful noise and my knee buckled, but I didn’t take my hands or feet away from where they were supposed to be.
The second swat followed directly. It was still hard, but not as shockingly so. My wailing didn’t sound any less pathetic, though. The third swat brought me to tears, which was a relief. Crying felt right. It felt real. And it let some of the tension out of my body.
After the third swat, I knew I had two more to go before there was a break as the Tops switched. This meant that I was more than halfway to my first goal. I have a theory that I tell myself when I’m taking spankings and I get concerned that I can’t take what I’m getting: anyone can take ten swats with anything. This, of course, isn’t actually true, and the use of the word “anyone” can get a bit hairy if you think about it too hard, but it’s a useful thought to go to when things are (intentionally) overwhelming. But there is a sort of truth to it: a lot of “taking it” comes down to “letting it happen.” Accepting that this hurts. Not resisting or panicking. So I got myself to that point, and I cried a lot. The last two swats seemed close together in my mind.
We switched over to Kelley paddling me, and I was honestly a bit surprised by how hard her first swat was. I had kind of had the idea that because, in the real world, Kelley is a close friend of mine, that meant that she wasn’t going to punish me so severely. I don’t know where I got that idea from: it was wrong. My bottom was already incredibly sore from the swats that had come before and I was already in tears when she started spanking me, but at least my resistance was pretty gone. I counted each swat so carefully in my head. I actually made a little puddle of tears on the desk, I think. My palms were tremendously sweaty as they pressed against the desk’s surface. But I didn’t move.
When the paddling was over, I was told to go sit back outside and listen to Maddy and Harley as they got their spankings. I kept crying for a little while as I sat there, but I was a little bit less immersed in the scene. I was out of it just enough to be sky high happy about what an intense experience I had just had.
I was so sore when this scene was over. My butt felt swollen and like it should be absolutely purple. But by the time that my friends had finished receiving their punishments and we all lined up to show off our marks, I was hardly even pink. I appreciate the fact that my body recovers quickly in terms of color, because it allows me to continue to shoot after doing tough scenes like this. But it drives me crazy that I don’t get the satisfaction and gratification of having people look at my butt and know exactly how sore I am.
It’s probably no surprise that my favorite scene that I shot this year was for my own site. It was REALLY hard to pick a favorite because I really pour my heart and soul into everything that we do for Northern. This scene was particularly fun because it was a group scene that involved a lot of people that I really like: my friends Cupcake SinClair and Harley Havik, plus Violet October, who I got to know and become friends with because of this shoot. Plus, Paul was the Top, and he’s my favorite Top!
By Order of the Court was a custom film. It took a lot of planning to do: we had to rent a location, Violet flew in from Vegas for the shoot, and there were a ton of schedules to coordinate. I particularly like doing customs. I really enjoy the directing side of making a spanking video, and it’s fun to direct from someone else’s script. It just so happened that the script for this scene was a fantasy that I really enjoy: a judicial punishment. The film has no explicit setting but it has a generically English feeling, especially because of the fact that in addition to caning, one of us got the birch. The one of us was me!
This was my first proper birching. Previous to this I had gotten a few strokes from Pandora Blake during a photoset we did for Dreams of Spanking and Paul had given we a couple of strokes over my leggings when we were in the Inveraray Jail Museum in Scotland. They had a birching bench and a birch on display with a sign that said “please try.” It was the kinkiest museum of all time.
So, I was very curious to discover what full force strokes of the birch on the bare felt. I could take a guess and say that they were going to hurt.
When we arrived at the house that we had rented in order to do this film, we immediately started to look for branches that might be suitable for making birches. We pulled into the driveway, opened the house up, checked the rooms and then got right to work stripping long, thing, flexible branches off the trees. There had been no appropriate ones near our house. I could imagine that to an outside observer who didn’t know what we were doing it would seem like very odd proceedings.
Eventually, we decided that we couldn’t find enough branches there, either, so we drove to a nearby park. I was somewhat embarrassed to be looking for appropriate birch making materials in a public park, but Paul assured me that there was nothing weird about it. When he started stripping them down in the parking lot (BECAUSE HE HAS NO CHILL), someone came up to us and asked what we were doing. Paul lightheartedly joked that we were going to make a wreath. I don’t know if he was convinced or not.
We filmed the scene the next day. It involved the first three girls each getting 25 strokes of the cane, followed by me receiving my birching. First, we all had to strip naked, and I ended up directing parts of the scene that didn’t involve me that way. Porn life!
I enjoyed watching as Paul thrashed each of the girls before me. I was fascinated by watching their different reactions to the punishment. I’m particularly fond of watching him Top other girls. I don’t get to see the way that his body moves or his facial expressions when I’m the one getting spanked by him, and I love these things.
After watching him deliver 75 cane strokes, it was time for me to get my birching. I was nervous, but mostly excited to see what it would be like.
What it was like was extremely stingy. Despite being bundled together, it still bore almost no weight. It was the whippiness of a switch but spread across a wider area of my bottom. It did have less bite because of that. It still left me whimpering and gasping. When it was finished, I was a little endorphin high and very sore. My friends were obviously in similar states.
In order to prevent this post from being EVEN LONGER THAN IT ALREADY IS I only included pictures from my segment of this scene. The full scene is over 40 minutes long, but the whole thing is extremely engaging to watch. I highly recommend it. It was, in fact, my favorite scene I did this year!
Look at me, once again blogging! Surely this can’t be a result of a New Year’s Resolution, right? Just a coincidence? Of course.
I meant to write this post before the year turned, but as things worked out, I was actually away over New Year’s and it was pretty spectacular. I took one of my very rare non-working trips and got to hang out with some very special friends and get close to some new ones. But there’s time to talk about that in later posts (I know you don’t believe me, but I’ll prove it to you!)
For now, I want to talk about my ten favorite video scenes that I did in 2016. I haven’t blogged much at all this past year, so you haven’t necessarily heard about my shooting experiences. I decided that the criteria that I’d use would be scenes that were released in 2016, and that I’d limit myself to one scene per site, just to be fair and talk about a variety of experiences.
So, off we go!
So, this first scene that I’ve selected was very much not filmed in 2016. In fact, it’s from early 2013, and it might be the oldest scene of me that hadn’t been released yet.
We filmed this scene the first time that I shot for Triple A, and the first time that I met John. Three years doesn’t seem like a good enough description of how long ago this feels. I remember this shoot very clearly because it was the second time that I ever met Paul: we shot for Northern Spanking (which I was very excited to be hired for as a model) for a first day, and then for Triple A the second.
This was during my second trip to the UK ever, and my first time going there since becoming a spanking model. This was in the time before ATVOD, and I had a very busy trip traveling around the UK (and visiting Holland) to shoot for a huge variety of sites. This tour was exhausting and it happened during a very uncertain time in my life, but it was also a wonderful time, because it was during this trip that Paul and I first got to know each other and fell in love. So, I was very excited to see something else from this set of memories resurface!
The scene itself is very fun, and includes my bottom getting very red indeed. It was the first time I was ever spanked with a carpet beater, and I still remember the unique way that it felt. It’s not heavy at all, but has a spread out sort of sting. Unusual.
Anyway, I’m willing to guess that it’s fun for you guys to see me when I was younger, as well, even if it doesn’t bring up all the same nostalgia!
My second scene I’ve picked as a standout for me this year was my first time shooting for Clare Spanks Men. I was partnered with Tai Crimson, who is someone I had known over the internet for a little while and was really looking forward to meeting. Tai is a trans girl and she was playing a male character in this scene.
I loved shooting this scene because this shoot was one where I really felt that I embraced my authority as a Top. Tai has a very high tolerance, so I was able to really go to town with the spanking and got to use some very mean implements. And look at her butt! A+++++
I’m very glad I got the chance to spank her.
This scene was fun: it was based on the idea that Tai and I had become step siblings because our moms had gotten married (a small detail that I appreciated, as it bucked the traditional hetero norms we see a lot in spanking porn, especially since no one treated it in an “OH MY GOD, LESBIANISM” kind of way) and I had taken it upon myself to get Tai to stop being so darn lazy and irresponsible. So very hard spankings were in order!
Honestly, if I had known half the things I know about Tai now then, I would have been a lot crueler. >:)
3) Providing Inspiration from Good Spanking
I picked this scene as a favorite of this year because it fell under the heading of “just a little too real!” The plot? I’m a writer who has a manuscript that she needs to finish, but all she’s doing is screwing around and playing video games. I don’t think that Chelsea (who runs Good Spanking) knew that I even have written spanking novels in the past when she came up with this scene idea, and she definitely didn’t know that it has been over a year since I finished one…
When shooting this scene, I just thought it was funny and a bit uncanny that she came up with a scenario that was so close to my real life. I’m not as naughty as my character is, of course (I’m not writing because I’m traveling for sessions so often and working on Northern and other such projects most of the time instead of playing video games, and the character in the video had been paid in advance, which I am glad to say I was not, haha!) but still. I hope to get back on track with that, as well, in the New Year. It’s just a struggle, since there are so few hours in the day and so many things to do.
Well, in addition to my very real contrition, you get to enjoy my *very expressive spanking face* and see my bottom get nicely reddened. So we all win.
4) The Rematch from Real Spankings
(To be clear, this isn’t the real title of this video. I just don’t know what the real title actually is. If someone tells me, I’ll update it to be accurate. You can find this video pretty easily by selecting me as a model if you’re inside the members area of RS, though!)
So, this scene requires a little bit more backstory. A couple years ago, I was shooting for Real Spankings like I sometimes do. Whenever I do a shoot with RS, I really like to push myself to my limits in terms of pain tolerance. I really like and trust everyone at RS, and I particularly like to get spanked by Michael Masterson. Not “like” in a “oh, this feels nice” kind of way, but like in a “I feel safe to stop worrying about things and really delve into an intense scene and let that be immersive for me” kind of way.
So, when on this shoot a couple years ago, Michael told me that I could decide what we did for the last scene, I told him what I honestly wanted, instead of suggesting something light and playful. I wanted a really hard, no warm up spanking with a Vermont Country Store Bath Brush. I know, no sense of self preservation. The parameters of this scene were discussed, because this is obviously something very intense. In the rare situations where I feel comfortable to play this way, I like to be pushed to cry, so I decided that I would want to be spanked until I cried, and then “quite a while” after that. I came up with a safety signal, in case it went on too long and I truly couldn’t handle it. Then we did it.
I didn’t end up crying during that scene (sometimes, there’s just too much adrenaline for tears) and I didn’t use my safety signal. Michael decided to wrap the scene up because it had been a long day and his arm was tired. I’m not saying this in a bratty way: now that I Top a lot I know how freaking exhausting giving out spankings all day is. Sometimes my arm just can’t take it. And apparently it happens to even the very best of us. But holy wow, that was a hard spanking. I was literally sore for days afterwards. I wriggled and fought and had to be pinned down. It was not my most dignified moment.
Anyway, fast forward to July. I’m in Denver with Princess Kelley, Maddy Marks and Harley Havik, so we can shoot for Real Spankings. I’m happy to be back there, since it’s been a while, and I’m having a great time getting spanked with and by my friends. Plus, we got pizza for lunch and I got to pet Michael’s dog, so really, an all around awesome day.
We’re doing a lot of scenes since there are three bottoms on set, but it comes time for me to do my final scene in which I’m getting spanked that day, and once again, Mike lets me choose. And so, I do what any sane person would do in this situation: I suggest that we should have a rematch and do another scene with the exact same set of parameters as before. This time, to make things more interesting, Maddy and Harley were in the scene watching me be spanked (something which always makes my headspace more intense).
I was already pretty sore from the scenes we had done earlier (including one that I’ll be discussing later) but holy wow, this spanking hurt. Do you ever get an idea which seems like a really wonderful idea in your head, and then as soon as it becomes a reality, suddenly seems like it was really not clever? This is a problem that I have awfully frequently, although it usually involves listening to schemes from friends who are terrible influences on my good behavior (you know who you are). That kind of happened here, although not exactly. I got the level of intensity I very much wanted, I just got shocked by the reminder of how real and intense that is.
I was very in character as a teen girl with an attitude problem as this scene started, and I got very sassy to Michael. The plot was, essentially, that I had been told that I was grounded to the house, or that I could get a spanking. I was wanting to go out with my friends, Maddy and Harley, and I had hoped to get out of the house unnoticed, but Michael caught me and reminded me that if I wanted to go, I was going to have to be punished first. I got way more attitude than I ever would to anyone in my real life, then stormed off to get the bathbrush. I very quickly found myself over Mike’s knee, and then I felt the brush.
That thing just feels like little lightning strikes. It collided with me over and over, and once again, I lost all composure very, very quickly. I was struggling and wailing. Honestly, I was probably just screaming. It was the kind of crying out where my jaw hurt afterwards from me having held it open to make noise for so long. Absolutely zero dignity. But no tears.
I was in the middle of begging: “I’m sorry! I’m sorrrryyyyy! I’ll be good! I promise!” et cetera when very suddenly, the scene came to an end. I was really confused at first, especially because I was basically woozy with adrenaline and endorphins and I literally couldn’t think or walk straight right away. I thought that Michael had thought that I had done my safety signal. In fact, he had been keeping a careful eye on my skin and stopped it because he realized that it wasn’t going to hold up to anymore battery: something I really, really appreciate.
Anyway, to give a stopping point to this long tale, I had a great day, I got spanked really hard and got to push my limits in a way that I wanted to, and I didn’t lose a second time.
This just means that I have to do this again, doesn’t it? Or I can just accept not losing as being almost as good as winning? I’m actually shaking my head at myself.
5) Alex Reynold’s First Spanking Recreation at Spanked Sweeties
A lot of models shoot for Spanked Sweeties when they’re relatively new to the spanking scene, but it took me a long time to get around to it. The set up of their site is that girls are interviewed about their spanking interests and experiences, with a focus on memories of times that they may have been spanked or witnessed spankings. They then do scenes that act our and recreate the spankings that they got or witnessed. Because I didn’t really have any spanking memories until I became an adult, I had never really considered myself a candidate for this site. I was very happy when I found out from my friend The Camera Man who runs the site that they wanted to shoot with me for it, and that we could recreate my first consensual adult spanking experience for the video.
We shot this scene on the same day that I shot with Tai, and she basically played the role of SF, my first ever Top (once again, she was playing a male character). This story is definitely an *adaptation* of my first spanking story. In reality there were about six months between me finding an implement hidden in SF’s drawer and my brining it up to him, and he spanked me OTK with his hand and I cried incredibly quickly (because that was like, the most emotional moment of my whole little life, finally getting my needs met for the first time). But those things aren’t the kind of thing you can really recreate, especially with people who are just meeting each other for the first time. And this scene is very good at capturing the mixed emotions behind my first experiences: relief, mixed with nervousness, mixed with excitement, mixed with pain!
I’ve decided that this post is getting *very* long, and it isn’t anywhere near being done yet, so I’m going to break it up into two sections. Stay tuned for part two!
My whirlwind of adventures began in the middle of June, when I flew to Dallas for the Texas All State Spanking Party.
TASSP is one of my favorite parties, so I was very much looking forward to it. Packing, however, was a most nerve racking experience. I had to pack everything for TASSP, almost a month in the UK in various weather conditions AND the Chicago Crimson Moon party. I also had various shoots and sessions throughout the course of that time for which I needed specific wardrobe and implements, AND I was vending at TASSP. It was made even more difficult by the fact that I’ve been increasing my fitness recently, so a lot of my clothes had gotten a bit too big, so everything had to be tried on before it could be packed.
I was kind of a mess in the time leading up to leaving. It was just so daunting: there was so much to prepare for. Fortunately, between Paul taking care of me long distance and some really helpful encouragement/limit setting from my FWB Dr Lectr, I got everything done that I needed to.
I bought a new suitcase and a new backpack for my journeys. I like backpacks a lot. I like anything that makes me feel like I’m going to school. To make it even more “me,” I added two keychains that I bought when I was in Japan and had been saving for the past five years, plus a smattering of buttons. This is a throwback to the backpack that I carried when I was really a high school student: the red “DORK” is the same one that sat in a similar position on my high school bag, although I had a far great quantity of buttons back then.
I was also more organized than I’ve ever been before when it came to my travel documents. You might remember my rather traumatic entry to the United Kingdom the last time I visited, so I wanted to not repeat this. So, this time, I was prepared. I had all my boarding passes, a copy of my whole trip’s itinerary, all my hotel information for TASSP, a copy of my passport and print out copies of all my prescriptions all in a plastic file folder, very reminiscent of the one that I had made fun of Paul for having on our first shoot. I guess I’ve grown up a bit in the past couple of years, because instead of thinking it was nerdy, I felt pretty pleased with myself for being so spiffy.
So, I finally left Los Angeles, saying goodbye to Rafa and Z, and snuggling my cats until they were really ready for me to just leave them alone. My flight to Dallas was cramped and delayed, as is often the way, but I arrived safe and sound late on the Wednesday before TASSP.
James and Korey Johnson, two of the friends I’ve had in the scene for the longest, picked me up at the airport and brought me back to their house for the night. We sat down in their living room to talk. Mostly, when we’re together, we talk and laugh. I very rarely laugh as hard as I do when I’m with them, and as usual, we were cracking up about stuff so much that I had tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard.
Besides being two of my best friends, James and Korey are also the keepers of two of my favorite cats, so while we were talking, I was also cuddling with some of my best feline buddies.
And suddenly, it was six in the morning. Oops.
I had sessions the next day, and the hotel was on the other side of Dallas from where they live, so I only got to grab a couple of hours of sleep, a trend that would continue for a while.
I was probably grumpy when I got up and got ready, but staying up with them was so worth it. In the morning, they took me to the TASSP hotel, where I was greeted by Princess Kelley and a few other friends. I had to get settled and changed very quickly, as I had a lot of work to do that day, but I was very much looking forward to catching up with my friends.
I also got to see my roommate, Tattoo Fairy, who is another one of my Southern California friends and a total sweetheart. Because my birthday was upcoming, she had brought me a present! I love Disneyland, and TF and have gone there together twice. The last time we were there I noted a series of collectables that were reproductions of the original souvenirs sold when Disneyland opened 60 years ago. They fit perfectly with the vintage side of my personal aesthetic. I had also mentioned wanting the Winnie the Pooh Disney Tsum Tsum. TF had listened to my chattering about things I wanted, and then surprised me with them. It was seriously too sweet.
I got to see a bunch of my other friends, too, and, of course, play!
I got to catch up with Dr. Lectr, Piper, JC, Zoey, Johnny, OTKdesire, Stonehand, Elizabella and her daddy, Cane Dreamer and Genevieve, Whooperine, Finneous and a bunch of other friends and I met Princess Flyer and Eye Candy for the first. I was originally not quite in the mood to play, but Piper convinced me that we needed to get spanked by Dr. Lectr together, and I wasn’t going to refuse.
She made the right choice on my behalf. I was feeling kind of stressed out from all the stimulus of getting to the party and some running around I had done earlier. Dr. Lectr started lightly and sensually, building up intensity as the heat built in my bottom. He started with hand spanking but moved on to strap us as well. At first I was hesitant about the strapping, my body tensing to resist each rhythmic swat of the thick leather. But before long, I melted into it, giving myself over to the feeling of impact and letting it shudder through my body.
As I let go of my tensions, I found that my stress dissipated with them, and I floated off to a happy place, filled with endorphins. Each stroke of the strap became more pleasurable instead of more painful, and I gripped Piper’s hand tightly. Although I was, near the end, a bit out of the real world, it was still a wonderful bonding experience. I’m so glad that Piper and I have gotten closer as friends in the past year. I’m so happy to have her as part of my scene family.
The theme of the night in Dr Lectr’s suite was TTYL. This is a theme that he invented a few years. Instead of standing for “talk to you later,” in this context it means “tights, thongs, yoga pants and leggings.” I recently bought jodhpurs, and I’ve been enjoying wearing them whenever I get a chance. A while ago, Kelley and I had come to the conclusion that jodhpurs actually are leggings, so I decided to wear this for TTYL. Besides, I was a bit sorer than I would have planned to be on a Thursday after some of my play sessions, and getting spanked on a particularly sore bottom through one layer of clothing gives a little protection, but also a very nice feeling. The slight numbing that the leggings provide reminds me of how I feel when I start to float into subspace, and I think it has a placebo effect and makes me get more endorphins more quickly. After some enjoyable jodhpur spankings, Kelley texted me to find her and we decided to check out what was going on in the other suites.
Kelley and I went to wander and we found a suite where some spanking games were being played. They were in the midst of a serious game of Spanking Jenga. The rules were simple: only the bottoms actually played Jenga, some pieces were marked with a number of swats, and you received that many swats if that was the piece that you picked. Of course, serious spankings were in store for whoever let the tower tumble.
Kelley and I jumped in to play. I took this game very seriously, and did not want to knock over the tower, as seen by my facial expression in this photo:
As the night wore on, I returned to Dr. Lectr’s room to hang out, where I got more spankings (surprise!) and joked around with friends. But eventually, I got tired, and it was time to change into my pajamas.
I don’t remember what time I turned in, but I know I was pretty exhausted by the time I did. And of course, the next day was going to be chock full of adventures, so I snuggled up to my bear and owl and tried to get some zzzzzz’s.
(to be continued)
Following my trip to Texas and about a week of downtime in South Dakota, I took off for Denver. This was the start of a series of ridiculously wonderful adventures and I’m very glad to be sharing them now! I arrived in Denver with the plan to visit with Amoni for a while (and of course take photos together) and shoot for Real Spankings before heading off to a cabin with Paul for over two weeks of alone time. Amoni got me from the airport and we had a series of nice adventures together, including but not limited to attending a Scarlet Moons spanking party for an evening, jumping on her trampoline (is this a theme? Yes, yes it is) and a delightful photo shoot.
The night before my Real Spankings shoot, I was feeling a little bit nervous. I’ve shot with them two other times before, and had a wonderful, if very painful experience both times. The first time, I was topped by Betty Blaze for all of my scenes. This was very comfortable for me, because we got along well right away and I felt like it was easy for me to be myself around her. I felt a bit nervous when I had to do clips that involved me being interviewed on camera because that’s not my strongest suit, but the actual spankings were really fun and enjoyable to film.
|One of my first RSI scenes. This hurt and was very sore after, but the scene was really immersive and fun to film!|
The second day that I filmed it was with Danny Creighton topping me. I’d met and hung out with Danny before, and we’d played at a Scarlet Moons party a few months before that, so I felt very at ease being spanked by him. The details of that shoot are in this post, but it was both fun and challenging, since I did the “School Swats” and “School Strokes” series and those were both quite hard spankings.
|From my second shoot.|
The shoot that I was getting ready for was going to be with Michael Masterson. I’d never met him before, and I’d been told by everyone who had worked with him that he was very nice and personable. He’d also been very friendly towards me on the internet. That said, I was pretty intimidated. I’d been watching him spank girls crazy hard for… years. It’s also always a bit weird for me when I meet someone in real life who I had been aware of on the internet for a long time. I feel kind of shy and self conscious around them. This was at it’s most severe when I first met Paul, because I’d had an internet crush on him for a long time (sidenote: yes, I realize that my current situation is one that people usually don’t get to have. Luckiest girl on the internet, right here!) so I was extremely shy around him and kept sort of looking at the floor and talking in a quiet voice. With Michael, I felt pretty confident about the idea of meeting him and talking to him, but I was a bit jittery at the thought of being spanked by him. During the time in my life where marking and obvious severity were important to me in the content that I viewed, I’d looked at a lot of his work because it really satisfied those requirements. I’d seen countless girls reduced to tears by him over the years. Was I next?
When I arrived at the filming location, I was full of nervous energy. We hadn’t really planned out any shoot ideas in advance, but I knew we were going to do four scenes, split between the two sites. I came into the house and saw Betty, who I’m always happy to see. She’s friendly and fun, and I really enjoy being around her at shoots. Then I met Michael, who was very friendly and personable. I hope I didn’t act too nervous as we sat on the sofas and chatted, so he could get to know me a little bit. I talked about other shoots I’d done, and my personal preferences. At one point, he mentioned how he’s always had trouble finding other good Tops for the site.
“Oh yeah, I remember you writing that on your blog in like, 2005.” I said. I *did* remember that. Michael’s blog was one of the first ones that I followed (along with spanking blog and Adele Haze’s blog. I don’t know why those three were the ones I got into, I just found them and started reading :D) and I distinctly remember the post in which he discussed what it took to be a good Top on film and how difficult it was to find people who fit those requirements.
I think Michael was pretty surprised that not only was I very familiar with his sites and all the content that they’d done over the years but that I was able to remember details from eight year old blog posts. I worried that this made me creepy, but I know that personally I find it very complimentary when people can converse with me in a way that makes it obvious that they actually read what I write, so I hoped he took it the same way.
We then started talking about what my limitations in terms of what I’d want to do were. I felt pretty open for anything, but I was honest about one thing that was important to me. “I’d rather do my most severe scene OTK, since that position makes it much easier for me to take something hard.” Real Spankings does a lot of bent over positions, even lunge position type spankings and if I’m getting spanked particularly hard, I start to be afraid that I’m going to fall over in these poses. I *can* take hard spankings in these positions, but if I don’t have to focus on holding myself up, I feel more vulnerable and safe and react better. Michael asked me what kind of thing I was thinking of. “I could go for a hard spanking with a hairbrush or something like that,” I suggested.
Masterson was obviously pleased by this suggestion. Apparently a lot of girls don’t just show up and ask for hard hairbrush spankings. I do! That kind of scene is very core to my kink, and I love it when I can do videos that embrace the things that are very “me” like that. The fact that we decided to do that as a school girl scene made it even better.
We then got on to doing our first two scenes. They’re for Real Spankings.com (not RSI) and haven’t been released yet. The first one was a pretty long and hard hand spanking scene. I felt a bit nervous as we started, but the scene was straight forward and moved very quickly into the spanking, and as soon as it started, I felt calmer. It was hard, and certainly not playful, but it felt quite comfortably within my tolerance, and I appreciated the fact that he wasn’t trying to intimidate me right out the door and was obviously concerned about my emotional comfort, not just with making a great scene. This felt very mentally good, and I took the rest of the spanking in a good headspace.
The second scene was immediately following the first, as it was a “part two” in the same story. In this scene, I got belted. I used to be kind of fearful of belts, but the more I get spanked with them, the more I’ve come to find that they fit very nicely into certain parts of my kink. They’re very traditionally masculine, and I like the use of everyday objects for violent purposes :D. For this scene, I was bent over the bed and I tried my best not to move from my position too much. The belt hurt, though. Lots and lots. I cried out and struggled a little bit, but again, I felt very secure throughout the entire scene.
We took a bit of a break after that, and then moved to doing the Real Spankings Institute scenes. The first one of these was a strapping scene where I was bent over and holding onto the railing in the hallway. I liked the very public and on-the-spot nature of the scene. The strap hurt plenty, too. It carried a lot more weight than the belt had, and each stroke made me jut forward a bit and whimper or cry out.
|My bottom is red and my face is concerned. 🙂|
This scene had a somewhat longer spanking, although again it got to the action pretty quickly. My character was a little bit sulky about what was happening to her. It’s very unfair being me sometimes!
I was impressed with Michael’s technical finesse, although it makes sense, since he’s been doing this for a long time. My bottom was covered in a box of red, without any strokes deviating from where they should have been. Perfect coverage and a lot of soreness.
We went on to film the final scene immediately after this one, pretty much. The idea was that in the first scene, The Dean had come to get me to strap me because I’d gotten in trouble by the Head Girl earlier in the day and he had warned me that if I had to be punished again that week, it would be severe before sending me off to class. I suppose I just sat in my room and pouted for a little while, because I then realized that I was late for class and came thundering down the staircase. This meant running in actual corridors with carrying schoolbooks. Fun. I wish I could do that all the time! (I suppose I could just do this in my apartment, but that’s not very fun.)
The Dean, of course, caught me, and was impressed with my incorrigibility (thanks, so am I! It’s a talent, getting into so much trouble) since he had just spanked me in the hallway a few minutes before. He asked me why I was late and I responded with “It’s your fault, because you were spanking me!”
Not my best plan. I was quickly lead into the lounge, where he returned with a brush. This was no ordinary hairbrush, but a Vermont Country Store bathbrush. If you aren’t familiar, it’s basically a legendary implement because it hurts. A lot. It’s a very unforgiving wood, and it has a fairly long handle for the size of the spanking surface, which means that it gets a lot of momentum and then throws that all down over a small area. Michael warned me in advance that it’s the kind of thing that when used as hard as he was going to (gulp) would often leave a girl particularly bruised. I wasn’t worried about this. Between the amount of spanking that I get on a regular basis, my skin care regime and the foods that I make sure I include in my diet, my butt rarely ever meets it’s match anymore, and while things hurt like hell still, I never really end up looking damaged.
Michael put me over his lap and started to spank me with the brush, scolding me about my irresponsibility and attitude. The brush was tremendously painful. It was blinding, clarifying pain: the kind of thing where I simply can’t think about anything else. I just existed in that moment, with my white panties down around my knees and my bottom pushed up where it was most accessible to that horrible brush which collided with me again and again and again. I wailed and my face contorted with pain. I struggled a bit, throwing my hand back. Masterson caught it and held it firmly, and this pacified me a bit as the spanking continued. It was horribly wonderful. I felt sore and swollen and my flesh was burning hot by the time that it was finished. My throat hurt from wailing so much. It was exactly the kind of scene that I had wanted.
After I caught my breath from this last scene, I felt very pleased with myself. In a way, it had been just as severe as I had been worried it would have been, but this hadn’t been a hinderance to me. It was hardly even a challenge. It was delightful to engage in such a tough scene. I was full of endorphins and adrenaline, and felt on cloud nine. I did it! I took it and took it well. 😀
Once I had done my paperwork, Amoni got to come in and view the sets and meet everyone, which was very exciting for her, since she’s also a fan of the sites. I excitedly told her all about the spankings I had gotten and showed her my butt.
It hurt to sit in the car on the way back to our friends’ house were we were going to hang out. I squirmed in the seat a bit. Once we did get back, Amoni gave me a long lotion rub to soothe my skin and help me to calm down from my jittery excitement. She’s a very good friend.
|It’s shiny from lotion, but basically magenta colored. See? No real bruising! 😀|
I’m very happy with the way that this shoot went, and I think that the videos are great. You should probably go check them out. I can’t wait until I get to go shoot for them again: I’m hoping to maybe get out in that direction again before the end of the summer. We’ll see.
edited for gramatical improvement.
Friday night was a very good night. Everyone enjoyed each other’s company, and for the first time ever, I got to go to sleep next to ellee and YS. He slept in the middle, and a few times in the night I woke up and turned over to see him sleeping next to me, only to become so excited about this fact that I found it hard to get back to sleep. While this sounds kind of cute when I retell it, it wasn’t very practical.
As is usual for me, I woke up feeling slow moving and like it would have been very easy to become cranky. It was like, 9:30 in the morning when ellee and YS got out of bed, and I considered trying to just resist the entire morning thing and just keep lying there. I’m not sure if ellee did what she did next intentionally, having assumed that this would be the case based on her twinly abilities, or just because she wanted to, but she turned to YS and said “I know a certain Alex and ellee who did not get bedtime spankings last night.” This was my fault: I had gone to bed earlier than the rest of them which had put a kink in the bedtime spanking routine. YS responded to this the way that any reasonable spanking man would: by giving us wake up spankings instead.
Wake up spankings used to seem like an inhumanly cruel idea to me. When Malignus first suggested them to me as a possibility when I was planning my first visit to his place in South Dakota ages and ages ago, I was originally pretty resistant. If I hate being awake in the morning in the first place, why in the name of Science would I want to find myself getting whacked repeatedly before I had even come to my senses? I agreed to give it a try, though, and found it to be very different than I imagined. See, spankings create adrenaline Adrenaline is the opposite of sleepiness. Spankings also create endorphins. Endorphins are the opposite of grumpiness. I soon discovered that a wake-up spanking was the easiest way for me to transition from sleepytime to the land of the living, and I’m always appreciative when I get them.
YS set ellee and I up side by side and on the bed and spanked us with his hand, giving each of us a few spanks and then moving on to the next adorable, semi-undressed girl that he happened to have in his bed (YS is sometimes referred to as “The Lucky Bastard”). My mood and perkiness improved greatly as the spanking went on, and ellee and I held hands and sort of snuggled while getting spanked as we are known to do. After a bit, YS stopped and went over to some of his luggage.
“What are you doing?” ellee asked.
“I’m looking for some lotion,” YS told her.
“Oh, I have that right here!” she volunteered helpfully. YS turned around and approached us with a London Tanner’s spanking strop.
“I lied. I wasn’t looking for lotion. Lay back down.”
(♥ I love that kind of stuff)
We both got back into position and he continued to spank us with the strap, making us both produce our own distinctive vocalizations. ellee sounds much happier than I do when she gets spanked: she sort of chirps and purrs and makes all sorts of adorable and energetic sounds. I just produce a varying level of gasps, whines, wails and, eventually, sobbing sounds. Just as I don’t fake orgasms, though, I never manufacture these reactions in my personal play. If a spanking doesn’t hurt, I don’t respond vocally. If it does, I generally don’t hold back (although there are situations where some amount of holding back is appropriate). This morning, I was a bit whimpery, and crying out a bit, but still obviously very happy with the strapping I was receiving.
|Post spanking coziness|
Once we’d both been thoroughly spanked, we somehow ended up getting even further undressed for a bit. Then we finally got dressed and went out to get ellee some makeup products which she had forgotten. After that expedition where YS also bought us candy and gave us each the occasional stray swat right in the middle of the mall, which I’m not used to at all and which made me blush ferociously, we ate a delicious breakfast then went to finish getting ready for the day. After I got out of the shower, YS directed me to the ironing board which was set up in the corner of the room. He showed me which shirt he wanted to wear that day and asked me to iron it, and to use the lint roller on it and also the pants that he was going to be wearing. This filled me with submissive bliss, as it was the first time I had ever had a chance to do a service-type task for YS (although I had made him sandwiches and things like that before our D/s dynamic started). I decided that for full effect, I had better do my ironing naked. (Dear Prestigious Women’s College from which I graduated: there, there. It’ll be alright.)
YS was pleased with my work and we both got dressed for the day. I asked YS if he wanted to pick out my panties for the day, which was something that would never have happened in any of my other D/s dynamics, but which felt VERY right in this case. He selected a gray, cotton pair that were cute and matched my outfit well (I actually happen to be wearing them RIGHT NOW). As soon as we finished this, he decided that he was going to spank me with my new hairbrush. He had purchased me a Mason Pearson hairbrush off of my amazon wishlist a little while ago as a thank you gift for being such a good girl (awwwww).
|Some hairbrush related photos which I took for YS when it first arrived.|
I had wanted a Mason-Pearson hairbrush because I had read about them in spanking stories for a long time, and they seemed both classy and mean. They’re plastic, in case anyone doesn’t already know, so I was not entirely sure how much it would actually hurt. I went over YS’s lap again to find out.
It hurt. Specifically, it stung. I could have probably deduced this, since it was a firm but lightweight material. YS was able to get a good rhythm and motion going with it, and my bottom began to be overwhelmed with buzzing, burning, inescapable sting. I put my effort into not resisting, but I made quite a bit of noise. YS wrapped his other arm around my waist while he spanked me, going on and on with no end in sight. It built and built, but because of the nature of the implement, never descended into the gratification of thud, even when he started to give me harder swats. It just stung more. I had wanted to cry during the first spanking that YS had given me the day before, but I was too busy being happy and floaty. This implement was very good for that: it kept me very present and aware, but because of the emotional connection created by having had the implement purchased for me by my Dom, I felt very, very submissive. As both the pain and the submission increased, I started to make sobbing sounds. I didn’t have a full out, proper cry, but I wailed and let go and a few tears came out. YS continued spanking me for however much longer he felt like, and then pulled me up for hugs tiem. It was perfect.
The rest of the day was very nice and it involved lots of fun times with various friends, as well as a few other scenes here and there and a complex and unusual prank involving a burrito which was maybe the funniest thing I’ve ever witnessed. I laughed so hard that tears literally rolled down my face. The most significant thing which occurred during the rest of that day, in my mind, was what I have been referring to when chatting to friends as “The Bear Story.”
Right before we went to pick up YS and ellee, Lily Starr brought me into her room and gave me a present. It was an adorable brown teddy bear with a big, teal bow. As soon as I picked it up, though, I discovered that it was different than other bears. It’s full of lavender and some kind of beans, and it can be put in the microwave to heat it up before cuddling. It’s amazing! It’s also really fun to play with because it’s weighted and kind of heavy. I had a lot of fun swinging it around by it’s various limbs. Lily then gave ellee a matching bear, which made things EVEN MORE PERFECT. Do you know why they make more than one of cute things? It’s EXCLUSIVELY so that ellee and I can have matching ones. Aren’t you glad I’ve explained that? I knew people were probably wondering. 😛
Unfortunately, this bear caused me a little problem. In addition to enjoying swinging it around, I really, really enjoyed whacking my friends with the bear. I know, I know, this is the most childish thing ever, but it was REALLY satisfying and I REALLY couldn’t stop myself. Now, sometime before the party, I had called ellee to talk about a few things and the topic of people who I sometimes want to punch came up. The conversation had gone something like this:
Me: There are people in the world who I really want to punch, but I probably can’t. 🙁
ellee: Oh! YS is here! Let me ask him!
ellee (to her husband): YS? Can Alex punch someone if they’re really horrible?
YS (super stern): No.
YS (loudly, so that I can hear through the phone) Alex, you can’t punch people unless they punch you first or they’re trying to rape you.
Me: Harumph, yes, Sir.
That’s the problem with Doms. They’re always making all these rules that prevent me from punching people in the face, or getting hit by cars, or dying in a fire and they go around making sure that I get proper sleep and take care of myself and don’t get arrested. (Thank you, Malignus and YS! I love you!)
Anyway, it had been clearly established before the party that I was not to non-consensually assault people. Really, this is also basically just common sense, and also part of my rules from Malignus, so there’s no excuse for any of this.
But this bear. It was SO GOOD for whacking your friends with. I had done it a little bit without anyone saying anything, but on Saturday afternoon in Beth/Heather/Missy/Stacey/Jules/possibly more people(?)’s suite, I got to swinging the bear around and hit both ellee and Heather. Heather, being a boss of me, wasn’t going to take any bear-smacking, so she grabbed me by the arm and marched me into a corner. My reaction was instinctual, if not entirely logical.
“YS!” I yelled. “Help! Heather’s being mean to me!” YS gave a response about how he was not going to interfere with other people’s dynamics while I stood there with my face in a kind of oddly smelling curtain. Then, I guess either ellee or Heather explained to him why, exactly, I was standing with my face in a kind of oddly smelling curtain.
“Alex!” he scolded. “Did you hit her with your bear?”
“No,” I said, without any understanding of why that word was coming out of my mouth.
“Are you really going to lie to me about this?” he asked.
“…I meant no, I did do it.”
Even though that made absolutely no sense, YS seemed to accept that answer.
Still, he added, “We’re going to have to have a discussion about this later, I think.” I gave a resigned “Yes, Sir,” and returned my face to the corner.
“Oh no, are you mad?” ellee asked, concerned about me, because ellee is the sweetest friend ever.
“No,” YS, consoled her, “I’m not mad. All this means is that Alex is going to get spanked later, which is the whole reason that we’re at this party.”
The promise of being spanked for it later sent a little shiver down my spine, even though I was in an environment where there was zero risk of not getting spanked, and I remained in the corner until Heather decided to let me out.
I rejoined the party and continued to have a nice time. Then, less than an hour later, I was sitting on the couch with ellee, YS and the same bear. ellee said something silly or teasing, and I responded by sort of tossing the bear at her head.
“She just hit me with her bear!” ellee said with shock.
“Okay,” was all the YS had to say about this. What he had to say wasn’t the important part, though. What he did was stand up, grab me by the wrist and lead me to a bar stool at the front of the room. I felt a surge of nervousness. While I was fully aware as soon as the bear-tossing had occurred that I’d probably be spanked for it, it hadn’t occurred to me that it would be done right there, right then in front of everyone. The offense of throwing around bears wasn’t particularly serious, but this was also the first time that I was getting a chastisement style spanking from YS since our dynamic began. He had given me an #offchartbossing “punishment” spanking during the second cabin party, which I described as this:
When ellee and YS arrived, we exchanged some presents that we had collected for each other, because we’re the kind of besties who get each other cute things. ellee is really good at buying presents. I was overjoyed. In the middle of mini-Christmas, though, YS came into the room with an implement and a semi-serious look on his face. Heather, ellee, YS and -lostkitten had carpooled from the airport together, and they had taken longer than I determined acceptable, so I got a little beyond my bounds and sent a text to Heather scolding YS for getting everyone lost and taking too long. This was about to catch up to me in the form of my first spanking of the party. My sense of self preservation must not have been unpacked yet, though, because when he said “You got a little mouthy there, Alex” I responded with “My mouth was not involved! I was texting!”
Surprisingly, this did not save me, and I got ten firm swats, followed by a very nice hug and more presents. Have I mentioned that YS and ellee are pretty much my favorite people ever to live? Yes. That.
What happened this time was not ten firm swats, followed by a very nice hug and more presents.
YS instructed me to bend over the barstool and he lifted my skirt. Then he asked whose toy bag was on the table. It belonged to StrictDave, and he happily offered the use of his implements. I could hear the distinctive sound of wooden things clattering against each other, to which I have a Pavlovian fear response. I instinctively looked back to see what had been selected.
“Don’t look back,” YS chided. “Just keep your face forward, hold still and be a good girl.”
I did my best to do that. YS wrapped his free arm around my waist and began to spank me harder than he had ever before. The spanking was at a rapid pace and, from what I could gather, was with a wooden implement with a short range and a spanking surface about the size of my fist. It was the kind of hurt that burns and buzzes and very quickly overwhelms me, and I am pretty sure that I made pathetic vocalization for basically the entire thing. I don’t remember YS saying anything to me throughout: no scolding or coaxing, just the constant presence of his other arm. That made me feel very Dominated: it was stable, secure, strong and unyielding. These are all important aspects of Dominance to me, and this non-verbal communication had a potent effect. I soon began to cry and apologize, entirely unaware of the fact that there were people around me. My entire world consisted of me, YS, the barstool I was leaning on, whatever implement he was using and an inescapable, undeniable, constant pain.
The last time that someone attempted to correct me in a public party setting I felt extremely insecure about being observed in such an intimate act, even though it was much less serious and less intimate than this, and I fell into a panicked and upset state and prematurely ended the scene. This time, I was entirely comfortable and entirely unaware of anyone else. It helped that no one interacted with us in a disruptive manner: no suggestions were made, no one announced when I began to cry et cetera. It just happened, and it was perfectly natural. Finally, he finished and wrapped me in a hug. After I regained my calm, I got some ellee hugs as well (apparently her spanking empathy is so strong that she was almost crying watching me, and I assured her that I was not only fine, but I felt very loved and well taken care of).
|Quite soundly spanked.|
YS sat back down on the couch and I climbed onto his lap and put my head on his shoulder. He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead.
“You’re a very good girl still,” he assured me, “but no more assault, even in jest.” I melted into him a bit more.
“Yes, Sir,” I answered, my voice hardly above whispering, “thank you for correcting me.” ♥
I later discovered that the implement I was spanked with is an incredibly evil hairbrush which should probably not exist. It’s that big type of hairbrush which is somewhere between a hairbrush and a bath brush and could only possibly make itself useful by making girls cry lots and lots.
Also, this is one of the only times that I’ve told a chastisement story on this blog. I usually consider this to be personal, and often sullied by public sharing but because this one was delivered in a semi-public setting, not over something deeply personal and very important to the narrative of my developing relationship with YS, I’ve decided that I have positive feelings about sharing this. I’ll eventually write a longer post about my feelings towards punishment and the public eye (by which I mean it’s been a draft for approximately 3 months).