I’m a pretty confident girl, right?
Back-tracking through the stories I’ve told on this blog, I’ve been photographed topless in Manhattan in the winter, done my first spanking video as a model, traveled to San Francisco to attend the Folsom Street Fair, shot with several other spanking production companies, gotten hot wax poured on me, a needle shoved into my body and cups full of suction on my back and moved across the country.
My image appears in various states of undress and bruisedness quite a few places on the internet. I’m perfectly acceptable showing a lot of sides of myself in photographic form.
Publicly, I’m as okay with being this girl:
As I am being this girl:
When we left Colorado Springs, we were done with the most exciting segment of our adventures. There were no more friends to visit between there and my new home in South Dakota, and we had to cross the worst state ever: Wyoming.
If I have any readers who live in Wyoming, I apologize for hating your state, but I really, really do. And I understand how you feel getting your state hated on, because I am originally from New Jersey and pretty much no one likes New Jersey. But I have to say, Jersey is eighty five million times better than Wyoming. You know why? Because there are things in New Jersey.
There is NOTHING in Wyoming. We couldn’t play the Alphabet Game, because there weren’t even signs to get letters off of. I decided that it was the capsaicin of states: horrible agony, and you have no idea when it’s going to end.
Like all things awful, though, our trip through Wyoming did eventually end. We spent a night in Nebraska at a hotel, and then finished up the our driving the next day. From there, I got to work settling into my new life. It hasn’t been entirely easy, although it is quite simple, but it *has* been entirely rewarding.
I know this is incredibly late, but Malignus, HeatherFeather and I had our first Thanksgiving together. I made a turkey that was full of epic win:
as well as additional stuffing, rolls, mashed potatoes (which HeatherFeather made), pan gravy, asparagus, cranberry sauce, pumpkin pie and peach pie. I made the pie crusts from scratch without a rolling pin, because I’m a total BAMF.
It was a delicious day, and I am truly thankful for my new life, for all the support my friends from coast to coast and beyond have given me, for the internet spanking community, for an amazing sister like HeatherFeather, and, of course, for Malignus. I have an amazing created family, a man I love and who loves me in return, a plethora of amazing friends all around the world, a home, safety, a job and food. I get to spend my free time with people I love doing things that I enjoy, learning, enriching others lives and getting my bottom thoroughly reddened. Basically, I have everything a spanko girl could want, and I really, really appreciate it. <3
Anyway, not to be upstaged by my culinary delights, Malignus made a turkey of his own (on my inner thigh):
The drawing was done by HeatherFeather, for Malignus does not draw cute animals, even when agony is involved :P.
I swear, when he hits me this way, I could probably go to a palm reader and have his fortune told by the marks on my thighs. It’s kind of fascinating. And horrible. Horribly fascinating? Why not? 😛
Now that I feel like I’ve finally gotten caught up on all the interesting or fun stuff which has happened recently AND been mushy, I can return to my regularly scheduled programing, so expect frequent updates with thought provoking insights and photos of my butt!
I guess I kind of lied when I said that I was back to my regular rate of posting. I’m still pulling three posts this week, but that’s the minimum that I like to do. I don’t enjoy accepting the minimum effort from myself, so I’ll try and keep sticking with things, especially because I am not entirely sure if I’ll be able to update while I’m on the road to South Dakota or not.
I’m stressed. I’ve still got a lot to do before I leave. Insecurities and fears have been popping up, surviving longer than I’d normally let them due to the climate of anxiety and vulnerability that comes with change. I’m not looking forward to saying “goodbye” to anyone, let alone everyone. Still, I’m overwhelmingly excited. I’m going to have a wonderful life with Malignus. We’re going to have an amazing time on the trip out to my new life. I’ll never have to listen to him tell me that he doesn’t have any clean dishes or food in the house ever again! 😀
Yesterday, I shot with Chelsea Pfieffer for the first time. She was amazingly nice and friendly. She’s the kind of person you just want to hug. The shoot was very straight-forward: it was a “Chelsea Spanks” reality shoot. The part of modeling that I’m the least good at is acting like someone other than myself when I’m in a position which is very true to my inner self, so being able to just be me while shooting a video was amazingly refreshing. Chelsea and I intend to work together again in the future when I fly back to visit Los Angeles (and to work with other amazing LA people). I’ve yet to meet someone I dislike when working on a spanking shoot: everyone has been amazingly kind, friendly and enthusiastic. I’m really digging spanking modeling. I just can’t get enough.
|I’m amazed if there are any people who have not yet tired of self taken photos of my butt in the mirror besides me. I am totally in love with my own butt.|
Chelsea spanked me for a half hour straight, which further proved to me that I have absolutely NO sense of time when I’m over a lap. It seemed like a few minutes! I know that I’ve had spankings that were confirmed to be very long by either knowing the time before and after or having another person around to let me know which had the same feeling: time just flew by because I was really happy to be where I was and I was doing the thing I adore. There have been other spankings, especially disciplinary ones, which seemed like they lasted for about an hour, but in reality were just a few minutes long. It’s probably related to the fact that there is some kind of temporal anomaly in the corner of my bedroom: time just slooooooows down there. 😛
Tangentially related to what I was talking about earlier (because my scene with Chelsea had an influence on this) I’ve decided that while I still think that I’m fairly hetero-aligned in terms of D/s, I am just as much of a pan-spanko bottom as I am a pan-sexual. When I was a child, my fantasies were always M/F. My first five years of spanking were exclusively M/F. Recently, I’ve been playing with girls and women as tops quite a bit, and it’s just as enjoyable for me. An open mind is a lovely thing: when I was just focused on males as tops, I was losing a lot of awesome options. F/F is pretty epic win for me, too.
Tonight, I’m going to the Halloween party at Threshold. It’s my last dungeon event before I leave LA. Even more bittersweetness. It’s going to be a lot of fun, though: all my LA people will be there, except Morri, who is currently out of the country. I didn’t even get to have a tearful goodbye! I miss you already, Morri!
On Saturday, I went shopping with my Bee Eff Eff, Maddycake. I went to a bikini-bar with some friends on Friday night, so I had some leftover singles in my wallet because I was not particularly zealous with the tipping. I’ve been budgeting pretty carefully with the move coming up, but it was essentially leftover morale money, so, when we saw this at Sur La Table I had to get it:
I asked Maddycake what she thought this was supposed to be for and her response was “beating Alex.” Clearly. I have to admit, now that I’ve gotten it home and messed around with it a bit, this thing kind of terrifies the hell out of me. I’ve had big spoons before, but they’ve always had a very large spanking surface. This one is much smaller, and therefore much more concentrated. Then there’s the fact that the material kind of feels like Warren. -_-
At Sur La Table, they had a small Christmas tree full of kitchen related ornaments for the holidays, so I picked up the first decoration for Malignus and me as a family:
It’s a tiny wooden spoon! It’s so perfect for us. Its red handle echos that bitch, Jenny (Warren’s little sister, who used to be the bane of my existence before Warren came around and was about 8 times worse.) Awwww.
Finally, I went into The Body Shop to get some Body Butter (for the purpose of lathering up my butt to prevent dry skin when I’m getting spanked a lot) and discovered that the entire store was buy two, get two free. So, when faced with two free items I didn’t really need (because I did want to get two Body Butters to begin with. I use the Vitamin E one when I need to grow new skin and the Extra Dry Skin one otherwise) I got myself bath soap and…
See how unsure my face is? That is me being very fearful and not entirely positive what I got myself into. This is a mean thing, for sure. I also somehow managed to acquire seven new implements in the span of a couple of days, while only spending eight dollars on them. I need to stop having such good luck with this stuff. It’s going to eventually lead to my untimely demise. I’m putting a ban on buying anything new at all before I leave, unless it’s a packing supply or going to be consumed, since I have to store so much stuff to begin with. Today was the last shopping trip until I’m in LA as a visitor! :/
My Saturday finished up with a surprise visit from J. I’ll hopefully get to see him one more time before I leave, but we treated today like it would be the last time, just in case. It was bittersweet. He gave me a nice, snuggly hand-spanking that left me feeling like I was glowing.
Whew! That’s a lot of stuff! Hope everyone else had a good weekend!