So, the first month of the year is very nearly over.
First, let’s have some news and updates from my spanking universe.
Basic stuff first:
I’ve been trying to revitalize my spanking news blog, Spanking Wishes, and I am currently posting something on it literally every day. Please go check it out, and give the corresponding twitter account a follow: @spankingwishes.
I’m active on Fetlife in short bursts, but will be trying to spend more time on the site. I accept all friend requests there, so please feel free to send me one. I also still have a kinky Facebook page, but I’m on that even less frequently. While I have a lot of awesome friends that I primarily communicate with through that site, I also get a ton of sexual harassment over it. I get guys sending me pictures of their genitals on that site far more frequently than on any other. I get called a bitch for not wanting to spend lots of time chatting to total strangers about sex for free. I get people demanding that I give them videos for free because “we’re friends now since you added me on facebook!”
I quickly run out of steam for dealing with this stuff. So, I’ll keep trying, mostly because the spanking romance author community is primarily on facebook and I do want to get more involved in that again, but it’s a struggle for me. If you want to send me a friend request, feel free: just be aware that while I do not post photos that include nudity (including bare bottom photos) on facebook, I post explicitly about spanking pretty much all the time and post links to NSFW material.
The Spanking Awards are going on now, which is always an exciting time!
So far, voting has been opened up in 4 categories.
The first one is Best New Spankee. There were so many new spankees this year that were really amazing, and I’ll be giving a shoutout to a handful of them in a post over Spanking Wishes in the next couple of days (since that’s less about me and more about videos), but the selection in the voting is also awesome. I’m happy to see a bunch of my friends included! I’m particularly proud to see three performers who did their first ever spanking shoots with Paul and I for Northern Spanking in the voting. They’re also three of my favorite girls in general, since I’ve been lucky enough to build close friendships with a lot of the performers that we work with.
So, I’m proud of you guys: Ava Nicole, Linny Lace and Nuna Starks! All three girls deserves awards for being adorable, hard working and taking lots of hard spankings. I love you guys! Plus, a big shout out to my friends Tai and Kenzie, who I haven’t gotten a chance to shoot yet, but really look forward to the day that I do! You girls all kick ass. So, go vote for one of these amazing ladies.
The next is Best New Top, which is a new category this year. I think I may have suggested this at some point, but I don’t know if I actually did or if I just thought about it. But either way, I’m glad that John added this category! Tops don’t get as much love in the spanking video world, to be honest, but we literally couldn’t make videos without them (or, we could just make self spanking, which would get boring really quickly). Plus, after having spent a lot of time on both sides of the the paddle in videos, I feel like it’s more important that a Top does an excellent job than almost any other person involved in video production. You have to be physically accurate and you need to be able to carry yourself with authority and have believable scolding going on. So, yes, love to Tops. Tops everywhere.
In this category, one of my favorite “new” Tops is up for voting: Princess Kelley May! I say “new” as Kelley has a ton of experience as a Top and had done a little bit of it on camera before her return to the screen, but she definitely made a splash when she came back after having been away for a long time. Plus, her shoot for Northern was her first time shooting for a membership site.
Anyway, Kelley is an absolutely great Top. I love the way she scolds and I love the way that she spanks. Besides, she’s totally gorgeous and always has PERFECT HAIR. I’ve been trying to get her to teach me her secrets for years but I think I’m just not destined to have perfect hair.
The other lady I adore in this category is my girl Adriana Evans. As I mentioned in my previous post, Adriana and I have become very close in the past year or so. I love her so much and miss her all the time!
Adriana is also a great Top. I love being spanked by her, although our spanking play often ends up taking a somewhat different direction due to the nature of our relationship… 😉
The next category is Best Facial Expression. I’ve come in the ranking for this before, but I’ve never won it and I would really love it if you would vote for me and make that happen! Think of all the times that I’ve had my face covered with tears and I’ve looked truly pitiful during a spanking. Think of how much eye cream I have to use because I’m always scrunching my face up in pain and agony and I don’t want to get fine lines out of control. Think of the fact that I’ve literally popped my jaw out of alignment because I was biting a pillow too hard when screaming and wailing. (The photo above is a screenshot from Spanking Blogg’s listing about me. You can’t actually click the links. I tried. It’s my own post. Siiiiiigh)
My campaign promises are more hard spankings producing more pathetic sad faces from me. I guarantee it.
The most recently opened category is Best Male Top. My most beloved, very favorite Top on Earth is up for voting in this category. Surprise, it’s Paul!
Honestly, Paul deserves an award just for putting up with my massive amounts of nonsense on a daily basis. But he also does an absolutely fabulous job in videos. He gives hard spankings, he gives perfect canings, and he doesn’t have a gross ego about it. He’s just the best. You should vote for him. :3
So, that’s where we are so far with the Spanking Awards. Remember that you can vote once per device, so if you use the internet from your laptop, desktop, iPad and phone… then you can vote four time. Juuuuuuust saaaaying!
I’m going to start a second post that tells you about what else I’ve been up to this month, but I’ll finish this one with some upcoming news.
I’m going to be on the road a lot coming up!
I’m heading to the UK in the start of February. I’m sorry to tell you guys that this time, I am NOT going to be available for shoots and sessions while I’m abroad. I’m only actually going to be over there for six days, and it is my plan to spend as much of that time as possible just hanging out with my friends and having a much needed kick back.
That said, for those of you who want to do sessions with me in London or elsewhere in the UK, I’ll be over for an extended period of time in August. Make a preliminary mark on your calendars, and feel free to shoot me an email and inquire about details whenever it suits you. I’ll be available to both give and get hard spankings, plus I’ll likely be able to do 2-2-1’s with some of my lovely British friends, as well. But that’s a long way off. I just want to make sure you guys know that my choice not to work while I’m over this time isn’t a permanent change. I just kinda need a holiday. It’s going to be the best.
Later in February, I’ll be heading to Palm Springs for some fun and adventures. (I’m fully booked for my time there, but if enough people are interested in seeing me in that direction I could certainly come out again later one). I’ve never been there so there’s a lot of fun stuff I’m looking forward to seeing.
Then, near the end of the month, I’m heading to Vegas. I *am* taking bookings for both shoots and sessions while I’m there, so feel free to shoot me an email about that: email@example.com . I am going to see a bunch of friends and have an awesome time while I’m there and I’m just so excited.
And after that, I’m heading to Denver to get to see my dear and darling Amoni. Hopefully I can get her to photograph me again! And what’s a trip to Denver without a visit to one favorite spanking sites that I don’t run? I’ll be getting a bunch of spankings for Real Spankings and Real Spankings Institute while I’m there! If anyone would be interested in seeing me for sessions in that area, please let me know ASAP! I’d love to be able to get together with you during that visit. Email address is above.
So, that’s the basic news. Watch this space for more detailed information about what my life was like in January, coming soon!
Hi everyone! Remember me?
I feel terrible that I haven’t updated my blog in a long time. It’s been far longer than I’ve ever let it go before. I’ve obviously remained active on social media, posting to my tumblr and Twitter accounts regularly with mini updates about my life. But it’s been a long time since I’ve written anything here.
It started out where every day I’d think “Oh man, I never updated my blog!” and then I started adding “Blog post” to my weekly to-do list instead of my daily one. Then, it got to a point where I wasn’t even bothering to add it to the list anymore: I knew I wasn’t going to get around to it.
I’ve been very busy recently, and I’ve had an unfortunate series of issues with my health. At one point, I was convinced that it was something really serious, and I was quite worried about it, to say the least. I’m happy to say that after a long series of non-sexy doctor’s visits and tests, I’ve been able to get things pretty much straightened out and I’m no longer feeling badly or worrying about that.
During that time, I got behind on a lot of projects and stuff, and I’m now working to get myself totally caught up. I still have a few things to do, but it’s a relief to be at least close to the feeling of being on top of things.
Meanwhile, my creative juices have been flowing a lot recently (side note: that’s the dirtiest sentence ever, when you think about where most of my creativity comes from) but I’ve been primarily funneling them into Northern Spanking. I’ve been writing lots of the scenes that we’ve been shooting, and we’ve been shooting a lot recently.
Throughout all this, my poor little blog has been sitting off in the corner, getting no love from me. It’s hard: once I let something go a while, then I just start feeling so guilty about the fact that I haven’t been doing it and that makes me want to avoid it and it’s just a vicious cycle.
But, it’s time to break that cycle and start sharing with you guys again. So, here are a few fast facts:
-For those of you who don’t know, Paul and I got engaged in January when I was visiting him in England. REALLY exciting stuff! I’m just over the moon happy about it. I love him so much, and getting married to him is a dream come true. *heart eyes*
Nothing is going to change in terms of any of my other relationships or my work life when I get married. I’ll still shoot, I’ll still do sessions, I’ll still play with other people, I’ll still have relationships with other people. A huge part of the reason that Paul and I work so well together is because he supports the things that make me happy. I’m just going to have a supportive husband instead of a supportive partner. I’ll probably just be brighter and bubblier all the time.
So, that’s the biggest news! Paul was in England for literally five months this time, so the fact that he’s back now is also pretty big news to me. He got home in April, so he’s been home for a little over a month. I’m getting used to having him back, and it’s been really good to get to spend time together. Our cats are happy about it, too. They really missed him. I’m not even making that up. They love him more than they love me, I think.
There will be posts about other stuff that’s happened since I last posted…last year coming up soon (probably). But tomorrow Paul and I are shooting with Ami Mercury. In case you aren’t familiar with her, Ami is an East Coast based spanking model who shoots primarily with Punished Brats. We’ve got some fun scenes planned for the day. I’ve never had the chance to meet Ami before, so I’m looking forward to that. She’s going to be in town for Domcon, which starts this weekend.
Alas, I won’t be able to attend Domcon this year, as it’s the same weekend as the Lone Star Spanking Party in Houston, which Paul and I will be taking off for on Wednesday. I have a busy calendar while I’m there, but if you’re a Houston based spanko or you’re going to be at the party and you’re interested in having a session with me, shoot me an email sooner rather than later, while there still is a bit of room left on the calendar.
A highlight of this upcoming weekend is the fact that Paul and I are sharing a room with Adrianna Evans and Ally Cakes. Adrianna and Ally have become really close friends of mine recently, but we actually haven’t hung out in the same place since the first time that I met Ally at Adrianna’s house over a year ago.
I’m sure that there won’t be ANY mischief in our room with the three of us in one place, right? Actually, I’m just hoping that Paul can handle the three of us.
I’m looking forward to seeing lots of other friends, doing a bunch of shooting (wearing both my producer hat and my modeling hat) and playing with lots of lovely people.
For a long time, I was struggling with a low tolerance. It sort of came out of nowhere and became a really big problem for me. It was becoming almost laughable how little I could take. But this will be my first party since I’ve pretty much regained that. The only thing that I’ve noticed is that while my tolerance during a spanking is the same as it once was (although I’ll probably never have the same tolerance that I used to have at the very height of my hard play days, since I think that about 75 percent of the nerves in my butt were just temporarily destroyed or something) the pain seems to linger around longer, which I can’t say I mind. There’s something very satisfying about going to bed sore and waking up sore the next morning. My point with this is that it will be nice to be at a party where I can actually play outside of pre-arranged engagements more than just a little bit without feeling totally worn out, although I guess I do still have to pace myself a bit.
I also have to pack tomorrow night after the shoot. I have some super cute stuff for this party (the themes include “soda shop” and “1950’s prom” and I am very well prepared for both of these) and I just need to get it all together. But I just hate packing so much. You’d think that a person who travels as much as I do would be good at packing and unpacking. But you’d be lying to yourself, because I’m still terrible at it.
Anyway, there you have it. A blog post! It’s kind of all over the place, but at least it exists.
I’ll be straight forward about this: it gets harder for me to want to update my blog as opposed to other forms of social media because I often feel like I get way less feedback and interaction here for way more effort. I feel like a big loser saying “please leave comments” but an occasional note to let me know that the people who read this blog aren’t all spam robots would not be unappreciated. 😉
It’s good to be back, guys!
Woah, I haven’t been around very much recently. Life has been busy. And by busy, I mean way more busy than usual. Positively hectic for the past couple of weeks!
I went to Houston for the Lone Star Spanking Party, where I had a lot of wild hijinks and adventures that I’ll tell you about… soon!
Then I was home for about two short weeks, during which time I had to prepare for another very big and very exciting trip. In fact, I’m writing this post while waiting for my devices to charge and sync so I can have stuff to do on the plane, then I’m gonna hop in the shower quickly so I’m not truly horrible to sit next to, and then I’ll be off!
I’m heading to Texas again, to visit with my friends James and Korey Johnson tonight, then go to the Texas All State Spanking Party tomorrow for the weekend. I LOVE TASSP. It’s gonna be a great group of people there, and I feel so safe and relaxed around them, like I can really be myself without any stress. Besides kicking back and having fun, I’ll be doing some shooting and lots of sessions (there’s still time if you’re in DFW and want to book me last minute, just send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org). Plus, it’s my “partyversary”: TASSP was the first party that I ever attended, in 2012! This will be my fourth party! So, it’s very dear to my heart. Plus, I get to participate in a big, formal, school girl roleplay, which means that I’m taking a step closer to fulfilling my biggest unfulfilled fantasy. *dreamy eyes*
From there, I’m getting on a plane and heading to London! I’m visiting Paul there, and spending some time with Pandora Blake and a few other wonderful people. I can’t believe it’s been over two years since I last visited the UK. It will be so nice to be there in the summer time, too: I’ve only ever visited in February and March in the past. This time it won’t be cold! I mean, it will be cold compared to what I’m acclimatized to for the summer, but I think that’s acceptable. If I wear a jacket all summer, no one will judge me, right?
I spend about three weeks in the UK, and then I fly to Chicago for the Crimson Moon Party! THEN I go back to LA, where my cats will probably hate me for abandoning them with Rafa for so long. I’m going to miss those guys… and all my friends and partners here in LA. This will be the only time I’ve ever gone on a trip this long where I left a place that I felt truly good in. Other times, when I did long travels like this, I was trying to give myself a get-away from a place that I didn’t really want to be. So, that will be a bit different.
I’m going to try to post shorter things more frequently here, and see how that works for me. I think part of the reason that I never make time to blog these days is because doing a long post is such a huge time commitment for me: it takes me hours sometimes! So popping in to tell a quick story or two might be best for a while, until my travels are over, at least.
There are so many people that I can’t wait to see during the next couple of weeks, but of course Paul is at the top of that list. It’s been over five weeks since I said goodbye to him, and I’m so excited to know that in a few days I’ll be in his arms. No post TASSP drop for me! 😀
Oh, one more thing! Yesterday, my story, “Daddy’s Little Angela” was released as a stand alone, so if you didn’t buy the Little Haven collection (or if you did but REALLY want to support my writing) I highly recommend picking that up! I personally think it’s super hot, and that most people who are fond of ageplay will enjoy it. It centers around a girl who ageplays as a middle (much like what I do in real life) but, when she gets in trouble for teasing a sensitive girl in her community who plays at a much younger age, her daddy punishes her severely, and in very embarrassing ways!
This book is less than $4. It’s only available on kindle, but you don’t have to have a kindle to read kindle books: you can download the free kindle app for either your computer or your smart phone. There’s a link on the book’s page on amazon with instructions on how to do this. I’m so grateful to everyone who supports my writing ventures! I have a new book coming up soon, too. I just need to find the time to put the finishing touches on it: perhaps when I’m on the plane!
Ok, I have to get in the shower now or else I’ll be running late, and we all know what happens to people like me when running late! (The answer is spankings, just to be clear!)
I’ve just had way too much stuff going on recently, and I have about six blog posts in progress, but I wanted to take a second to point out a couple of things.
First of all, I want to remind you guys that the voting for the 2014 Spanking Awards has officially started. This year, the Awards are being hosted on Spanking Blogg instead of on the now pretty much defunct Spanking Spot.
This year, Alex in Spankingland was once again nominated for Creative Spanking Blog of the Year. During the last awards (in 2012, as no prizes were given in 2013) I was proud to have received this award.
I absolutely LOVE a lot of the other blogs who were nominated this time, though. Included among them is the blog that encouraged me to start blogging in the first place: Erica Scott’s Life, Love and Spanking. Erica is one of my best friends, and if a week goes by where I don’t get to see her, it seems like it’s been too long. Her blog is heartfelt, honest and hilarious, and she’s been a role model for me in my process of opening up and talking about my real life on my blog more and more.
Another one of my favorite blogs was nominated: Pandora Blake’s Spanked Not Silenced. Pandora’s blog is an amazing mix of important intellectual discussion of spanking, D/s and pornography topics as well as very personal, introspective writing. She’s also been a big influence on me as a blogger, and I followed her writing closely back before it ever occurred to me that I would meet her!
A third blog that I really enjoy which has been nominated is Snowflake Roasting Service. I don’t actually *know* S and Snow, the couple who runs what is probably the best original content tumblr spanking blog of all time. It feels like I do, though, because their exhibition isn’t just for spanking and sexual play: they share a lot of their lives with the internet. I’ve talked to S a few times over the past couple of years, too, and he’s always been super friendly and nice. Definitely A+ people doing top quality amateur content.
I don’t really know Hermione, who writes Hermione’s Heart, either, but she’s very dedicated to keeping the conversations in the spanking blogs world going, and she blogs with consistency that makes me jealous. She writes in a way that makes her feel like an old friend, and I really enjoy following her.
I had never visited the other nominated blogs, but I’m definitely going to check them out now!
There are several other categories up for voting now, which I will certainly talk about in the next couple of days. Getting writing done has been hard recently because there are a lot of distractions when I’m away from home.
Speaking of writing: over the past several months, I’ve mentioned that I’ve been working on two big projects. One of them is ready to reveal: I’ve just finished writing my first ever spanking romance novel, which will be released by Stormy Night Publications in the next couple of days. I’ll be posting more information about it soon, but it’s been a big undertaking for me. I’ve never written anything longer than a 30 page academic paper before, so writing an entire book was a challenging and exciting process for me. I loved writing it, though. It was an interesting experience, too, because as much as I write about my personal life and as many spanking stories as I’ve shared, I almost never write about sex. I had a ton of fun creating all the sex scenes in my book, borrowing bits and pieces from long term fantasies of mine and from actual experiences (but you’ll have to read it and try to guess which ones are which). The book explores a lot of themes that I find super hot, although not necessarily the ones I do on film: specifically, it’s chock full of medical play and age play scenes, but of course there’s a very high dose of spanking, too. I personally think it’s super hot, and I hope that you’ll give it a read when it comes out. So, stayed tuned for more information on The Doctor’s Little Girl in the next couple of days.
Anyway, it’s the middle of then night in the timezone where I currently am, so I need to head to bed.
Just a couple of really quick things. First of all, Spanking Awards. I was so excited when, in 2012, I was nominated for Creative Blog of the Year and even more excited when I won. There weren’t any awards the following year: I guess brushstrokes has stopped blogging pretty much, and didn’t host any awards. Thankfully, my good friend The Chief over at Spanking Blogg has resurrected these awards. It’s currently in the nominations process, so I recommend that you guys go check it out and nominate your favorite spankees, spankers, sites, blogs et cetera. I know that on one level it’s a silly little thing, but getting recognition is really nice and there are so many wonderful people who work so hard to make the spanking piece of the internet awesome, so go share your favorites!
Secondly, I’ve just finished removing some blogs from my blogroll. I removed blogs that hadn’t been updated in six months (with the exception of Maddy Marks‘ blog because every time I bring it up she tells me she is going to update again, and she’s one of my best friends so I’ll let her get away with it!) and any blogs that were not available for the 18+ public to view (those that required a password et cetera). I also removed a blog for talking extensively about spanking children (like, for real, not as a fantasy), which I do not condone or approve of. I also found that two blogs had moved URLs and updated those, so all the blogs on my list should be ones that update at least sometimes and that you can easily access.
That said, I feel like my blog list is currently incomplete. If you write a blog and I don’t have a link to yours, please leave a comment so I can add you. If there’s a blog you enjoy that I don’t link to, please let me know! I want to share as many quality spanking blog links as I can without just going through other people’s links lists and copying them.
I hope you all had a good Friday. I finished the work I needed to do early today, so Maddy and I went to the mall and did some shopping. I got new panties and some new pajamas.
I’m feeling very torn about the new stuff that I DID get. Part of me wants to get to wearing it right away due to the epic coziness, and part of me wants to save it until Paul gets back, because I like to wear new things for the first time when he’s with me. It seems a shame to wear something brand new and adorable for the first time while sitting alone at home! I suppose I have other options, like wearing them for a shoot or saving some and wearing others, or wearing them for the first time when we’re skyping sometime soon. I realize that this is not as big of a deal as I’m making it.
Maddy and I got caught in traffic getting me home after our excursion, so I had to do a quick change from “Aren’t you proud that I got dressed and left the house today” to “dressed up to go to a fetish club,” which is a significant difference! I managed to make myself presentable to the general kinky public in less than a half hour, though, which is not bad! I was hurrying, though, so I didn’t take a picture, but I wore heels. I’m trying to practice wearing heels a bit more, so I don’t seem like a baby deer when I walk in them. Anyway, I went to Sanctuary Studios LAX with The Cameraman from the Clare Fonda Sites. They were hosting a play party, and although neither The Cameraman or I intended to play, it was a fun place to hang out and catch up. There was also a live stage show which included four acts. The first part started with play piercing, which I didn’t mind watching although it is definitely not “my thing” (I have done it once, for the experience). It then turned into blood cupping, though, and I had to look away. I’m terrified of suction cups. It’s a weird thing to be afraid of, I know, but that’s just me. The idea of someone’s blood being sucked out of their body through their skin makes me feel like I’m going to pass out just describing it here. Since that was literally happening on the stage, I was happy that the Cameraman is very tall so I could angle myself so he blocked the show for me. Apparently after that, the blood was spread around and played with, but I couldn’t bring myself to watch that part, either. I guess I’m just squeemish. The next act was a dance routine which involved the performer stripping and then pouring an entire bottle of red wine all over themselves and then head banging, which created a pretty awesome visual effect, but I was glad that I was sitting closer to the back! The next part involved three girls being strapped to spanking benches, but instead of the spankings I was expecting, each was brought to a multitude of forced orgasms with the hitatchi. It would have been a lot more intense to observe if there hadn’t been loud music playing, but it was fascinating to see how each one responded to pleasure differently and the motions their bodies made. The final act was another strip-tease which involved some extremely impressive pole dancing. Watching live shows like this is kind of a new experience for me, and it was certainly interesting, if not particularly erotic for me. Of course, I don’t expect everyone to cater to my particular kink, but I kept eyeing the fact that there was a stage there, and fantasizing about being marched onto it to be punished in front of everyone… now that’s an idea I can get behind!
Anyway, it’s late and tomorrow my friend and I are going to Chuck E Cheese (yes, this was my idea, of course!) so I should probably go to bed. Now that I’m posting more often, a lot more posts are off topic from the spanking world, although pretty much everything in my life is tangentially related to spanking. From now on I’ll be labeling posts with “OT” in the title if there isn’t at least one part that discusses a spanking scene or a concept related to spanking, or if the post does not include spanking related photos.
I’m back from my travels and back to trying to get blogging done! To revitalize me, I’ve updated the layout a bit. It’s still not fancy, but it’s fresh for back to school! The header image comes from Northern Spanking. Please leave any feedback you may have about the new look: anything which is hard to read or use, especially! I’ve also added a labels cloud for the first time in ages. I’ve selected particular labels only as I tend to, erm, over use them. At least now they can be (over) used for something, right?
Finally, I want to apologize for taking so long to respond to comments recently. I’m on it, I promise! Thanks for leaving them, and I hope you continue to!
The frequency with which I post to this blog has changed drastically in the past year.
I miss it. I miss sharing with people. I miss connecting with people. I miss having a place to organize my thoughts.
But it’s become extremely hard for me.
Part of it is time. When I lived in South Dakota, my days were filled with nothingness, and I looked for things to fill them with. Now, I’m usually busy. I work a lot, and I spend a lot of time doing “behind the scenes” type work. Furthermore, for the first time in years, I have an active, vibrant local social life. With Paul in England until mid-August, I tend to keep myself busy with lots of socializing when I have downtime. This means that many nights, I come home and go directly to bed, without having a chance to sit down and blog. I’m a slow writer. I have a short attention span and I’m very fussy about making sure that I get things the way that I want them before publishing something to the internet, so blogging is time consuming for me.
There’s another big issue, one which is difficult for me to talk about. Probably 80% of the archive of this blog is about my relationship with Malignus. I don’t like to be negative, and I’m private about the things in my life which are so. Therefore, I only wrote about the positive aspects of my relationship with him. There were many positive things there. During that relationship, I learned, grew and discovered things. We had lots of intense and wonderful scenes. The things which I wrote about were true. They were real experiences, real emotions, real understandings which I reached. There were also parts of it which happened out of the public eye which were extremely negative. Ultimately, the sum of my relationship with Malignus was destructive towards me and my emotional wellbeing. Because of this, it feels weird to sit and write in the same place but have such drastically different feelings. I need to make this clear before I can really relax into my blog again. The things I wrote about Malignus were true. I loved him. We had amazing scenes. He took me to places that I never thought I’d go. He also did things that were bad to me, and I do not condone his behavior, support him or encourage others to be involved with him. I know that the time in my life when Malignus and I broke up was poorly documented and that the transition from what was going on then to what’s going on now was clunky. That’s how it had to be, though.
The final reason is because my computer is ancient. I got it seven years ago. It’s been an amazing machine. It visited six countries with me, and was probably on at least a hundred flights total. It’s been assaulted by cats, covered in stickers and drizzled with tears. It’s seen WAY more pornography than is probably recommended. Now, it’s pretty crippled. The battery doesn’t work, so I can only use it while plugged into the wall. The power cable doesn’t connect too well anymore, though, so a quick movement or the nuzzle of a cat can unplug it and instantly make me lose everything I was doing. The wireless card no longer works, so I’m also tethered to an ethernet cable, reminding me of life back in 2005. The disc drive doesn’t work anymore. The keyboard is missing so many keys that I have to use an external keyboard and sit this on top of the one which is built in. It overheats frequently. The hardware is too old to accept anymore software updates, which means that I don’t even know how to use the most recent versions of Mac OS. The past year has been expensive: there was a time when I was going to get a new laptop last year, but I ended up spending that money to move to Los Angeles (which was definitely the right thing to do). Since then, I haven’t been able to save much. My computer is still working, though, which is a very good thing, but because it’s become such a hassle to use, I’m less likely to want to spend more time on it than I have to.
Despite all this, I really do miss blogging. For a long time, I’ve wanted to get motivated to get back to it. Recently, I met someone for the first time at a spanking event and he said “I didn’t realize you were actually into spanking.”
I found this really upsetting. I know that not everyone is going to read my blog (obviously) but I miss having that line of communication with the spanking community. I’m looking forward to having it back.
I’m not going to make any promises about an update schedule or anything like that, but I am really going to try.
Because I miss you guys. ♥
So, for the entire year of 2013, basically, I’ve been trying to get caught up on ALL my adventures and I’ve pretty much always been at least a month behind. I want to write about ALL of them. I want you to know everything. A lot has happened in the last six months. I traveled to Los Angeles, then I went to Las Vegas for the Fifty Freaks Party, from there I went to England and Holland on a month long adventure that changed my life forever. Following England, I attended Boardwalk Badness Weekend, spent a day in Kansas City doing whipping scenes for Whipping Films that tested my limits to the max, then headed to Texas to spend time with some of my favorite people. Later that same month, I went to Denver with Amoni, then for two weeks of precious alone time at a cabin in the mountains with Paul, then to Florida for the first time for the Florida Moonshine Tropical Beach Party. From there, my friend Morgan drove me and another friend, Stella, back to Texas, on a road trip through several states I’d never visited before. In Texas I had more adventures, hanging out with Mila, Ten, WearYouOut and LilLawBrat until it was time for the Texas All State Spanking Party. I came back to South Dakota after TASSP and hung out there for nearly a month, although I did head up to Minneapolis at one point to shoot for Bondage Mischief. Then last week I drove to Chicago for the Chicago Crimson Moon party. Now, I’m in Sioux Falls for the night and then heading to New York and Philadelphia.
There’s a flaw in this system. I want to tell you guys EVERYTHING exciting that happens. I want to share every shoot, every amazing scene with a friend, every adventure that I take off on, every moment where a spanking pushes me in some new direction and brings me closer to the goal of knowing myself. I would like to document every single spanking I get, period, if I could. I want to do this because I love these moments and I want to share them with you, and because I never want to forget them. At the same time, I want to write posts like this one or this one that aren’t part of the narrative: I have always referred to these when talking about what I’m going to write when as “theory posts.” I’ve even started to write spanking fiction again, and I might want to share that from time to time, too, if there’s an interest. Because I usually only post two to three times a week when I’m home and may go an entire week without posting (oops!) when I’m traveling and have limited internet access, there’s no way I’m ever going to get caught up at this rate. The last narrative post that I shared was about the first night that Paul and I arrived at the cabin. A lot of things happened when we were there. I could easily make twenty different posts about adventures, experiences, scenes and things I learned about myself in that time frame. This means that, at that rate, I’ll literally never be caught up, especially if I want to talk about things that aren’t related to “the story”.
Essentially, what I’m saying is that I have too many things to write about and I’m going to take a break from working through every single thing that happened. I’m going to skip ahead to Crimson Moon, write a series of posts about that and then write about what’s happening or has just happened at the time that I’m writing. This saves me a lot of stress, honestly, and makes my posts more topical. If there comes a time when my life ever dies down (HA!) I’ll go back and write about some of the favored memories from the past. In addition to blogging, I also journal privately, so it will be easy to adapt some of that for the public.
So, I’m going to take a deep breath and put those other adventures on hold. I’m also considering doing one post a week as a video blog, especially when I have a friend around. This would likely be in addition to my written posts. I’m curious to know how people actually feel about video blogging, though. Do people actually watch them? Would you rather just read stuff? Please share your thoughts and feels.
In the meantime, I’m continuing to update my tumblr after a hiatus. You can always use the “Ask Me Anything” button there to inquire about things you’d like to hear about. Additionally, you can leave questions in the comment section (whether or not they are related to the subject matter of the post) or email them to me at email@example.com . I think it’s important to have as much dialog as possible between me and whoever is reading this!
I’d also like to thank everyone who was supportive regarding my Pornography Rant. It’s become one of my top 5 most popular posts in just two weeks time, and I think this is hugely important. It’s one of the things I’ve written that I’m most concerned with people reading. So thanks to everyone who shared that.
I’m very sorry to bog this down with self-promotion, but I do still have one or two session and shooting openings when I’m in New York and Philadelphia. Hit me up via email if you want to be in on that. I’m hoping to have a wonderful trip.
You’ll hear about Crimson Moon SOON! Now I have to take a bath and pack and eat something for the first time today. Yikes. 0_0
I’ll have a real post for you before the weekend is over, but I wanted to let you know that I’ve done some site maintenance. The following changes have been made:
I still need to do another Cast of Characters page update. In the past, I’ve had a couple of people with hurt feelings because they didn’t appear on the cast page. I’m super sorry about this if I’ve left you off. I never intentionally ignore someone here. While I do, occasionally simply forget to include someone, it’s more likely that you simply hadn’t appeared in the narrative yet when I last did my update. This is currently NOT up to date and will get there… eventually. (I’m no longer making time-based promises about when stuff will get done, aside from my two updates per week)
I want this blog to be easy to read, visually appealing and well laid out, so I welcome any feedback about these updates, or other changes you’d like to see.
I usually don’t post links to individual posts that I enjoyed like some bloggers do, but I’ve gota couple things for you to check out, if you’re interested. 🙂
This is all for now. More coming soon!♥
My poor, poor blog. I’m so sorry.
I’ve been quite a busy girl! Often, being busy doesn’t influence my ability to get blogging done, though: I just sit down and write a post once I finish with whatever it is that I’ve been working on. Recently, I’ve had a combination of being busy and being exhausted. I finish my work for the day, come home from my adventures and then basically faceplant myself into bed. I’m finally a bit more caught up on sleep at the moment, though. Hooray!
I’m currently in the middle of a whirlwind of adventures again. This is the way that I tend to do things: I’ll travel straight for a number of weeks, going from place to place instead of flying back home again in between. It’s cheaper and more efficient, but it obviously has a few downsides: the busy nature of each stop often leads to a tired version of Alex without any days to snuggle in my warm, quiet, South Dakotan bed in between sites, and the obvious disadvantage of not seeing Malignus for many weeks at a time. Still, we make do: we talk when we can, and we both have confidence in the fact that the other is doing a good job to take care of his or herself when we can’t.
Now, I shall begin to tell you the tales of my adventures.
On Sunday night, I was packed and prepared to leave early on Monday morning. It takes an epic amount of luggage to prepare for six weeks of shooting, especially given the variety of shoots that I will be having during my adventures, AND the fact that I’ll be spending a weekend on a spanking holiday during the trip.
|Much to carry!|
On Sunday night Malignus and I stayed up late to make the most of the time we had before I needed to leave. When we finally decided that we were tired, he sat down on the edge of the bed and called me over. “I’m going to give you a quick spanking because I love you, and because you belong here,” he told me. I melted a little at this, and crawled over his lap. He spanked me with his hand, as he’d been doing for the past few days. There was quite a bit of thigh spanking, but none of it was too hard. I just felt cozy and safe and very loved. After we finished, I snuggled against his chest and fell asleep.
All too soon, it was time to get up and go to the airport. When I got out of the car, it was -9 degrees out. In a few hours, I was in LA where the temperature was 61 degrees. When they announced that, I nearly cried. The winter had been taking a toll on me, and I was overwhelmed with happiness to be outside without a jacket and to not feel cold. Rafa picked me up and we went to get lunch together, where we ate outdoors. The idea of eating outside in February was almost absurd. I was so pleased.
|BEST FEBRUARY WEATHER EVER!|
My first day in LA was pretty luxurious, but from there, it just got more and more hectic. I was working on a custom project that took a lot of time and dedication, plus I was shooting pretty constantly. I shot every single day, and some days did more than one shoot, even getting three in one day sometimes. That didn’t prevent me from getting in my requisite adventures. I spent a lot of time in Little Tokyo when I was free, ate Indian Food with Epipelagic and headed to Knott’s Berry Farm with Zekyt (another of Rafa’s girlfriends who I love very much!). At the end of each day, I basically felt like I hadn’t wasted a minute of it. It’s a satisfying feeling, although not a relaxing one. I’d fallen into a kind of overdrive where I did very little sleeping and lots of running around, hopping from place to place.
I did some pretty awesome shoots, including shooting with lots of art photographers, doing several bondage shoots and my first suspension (more on that later) and shooting with Ken Marcus. Lots of these were really excellent experiences.
I realize that this post is shorter than usual, but it was written while I was still in that overdrive kind of state. You can expect a series of shorter but (hopefully) more frequent posts for a bit.