My fourth TASSP is done, and it was a wonderful time. On the plane, as I was headed to England, I started to think about the past three years of my life in the National spanking scene, and all that has happened since I first arrived at TASSP in 2012.
I remember the overwhelming, full body anxiety I felt as I first showed up at the old TASSP hotel. What if no one liked me? What if I didn’t make friends? Could I really handle a whole weekend full of getting spanked? And play with people I didn’t know yet? Would it be weird to watch others playing? What would the activities be like?
I imagined that, realistically, I was probably going to have a pretty good time. I didn’t imagine that on that day, I was going to meet people who, upon seeing them three years later, I’d run down the hallway to tackle hug, or who would get tears in their eyes when it was time to go at the end of the weekend.
I guess what I mean to say is that I didn’t know when I first arrived at a National party that I was actually arriving at my home for the first time, that I had found a kind of acceptance and a feeling of belonging which had been lacking throughout my entire life.
I didn’t really feel it at that first party. I met people who I really liked, but in the couple of days that I was there and my shy nature back then, I didn’t get to know them that well. I think back on some of the people who I met for the first time there, and I can’t even imagine my life without knowing them. Some of them were people I spent a lot of time with at that party and never stopped wanting to spend a lot of time with. Others were people I only met in passing, but would spend more time with at other parties in the future and become fast friends.
I met someone at my first TASSP with whom it would take years, literally up until last month, for our friendship to properly blossom due to miscommunications and someone negatively influencing our ability to get along. Now, we’re finally having the friendship we should have always had, and that’s an amazing feeling. Telling her that I’ll miss her and that I was so glad we got to spend time together this weekend as I left and both of us knowing that we really meant it, finally, was one of the most refreshing feelings.
I made a friend at that party who ended up doing a lot of really hurtful and destructive stuff to me, but the spanking world can’t always be perfect. I have met people who were just incredibly toxic through the scene, yes, but it’s important to remember that for everyone who has hurt me, I’ve met countless more who have enriched my life and made it wonderful, and those are the ones I want to focus on.
I was a very different person than I am now when I first showed up. I had no idea how much I would grow over the next few years. I was very new to modeling, and almost no one knew who I was. I didn’t really even participate in most of the events for models, although I did do several shoots at that party. I worried that I didn’t fit in with the other, more established models, including some of the people who I now think of as very good friends! In general, I was pretty awkward. I was kind of still in my post-grad years where I wasn’t sure of my identity yet, and I think that the way that I dressed and presented myself suggested that to whoever was looking. I had pretty bad skin still, and didn’t know what I was doing with my hair or makeup in the least. It took me a few more years to figure this stuff out: I’m feeling pretty good about it these days, finally.
I had never switched before, and still didn’t really understand the social parts of bottoming, either. Roleplay and play punishment were still brand new things to me, and I was straight up uncomfortable with the idea of bratting. Asking people to play? That was a little much for me! Saying no to someone who asked me? That also wasn’t happening. I didn’t go to The Dark Party my first year because the idea of possibly witnessing sexual play made me nervous. I don’t remember if there was a little’s party or not at my first TASSP, because if there was, I definitely avoided it. I had not yet embraced that side of myself in the least, and was working hard to repress it.
And now? Look at how I’ve grown! I felt so in my element this weekend, whether I was bottoming, Topping, roleplaying, age-playing, giving a presentation or running an event. Like many people, I had my moments where I got overwhelmed and emotional, but I had my friends there for me, and these problems were quickly straightened out so we could all get back to enjoying the weekend. It’s hard for me to believe that three years ago, I was as meek as I was.
I see these changes in many of the friends that I first met at my first party, too. Years in the scene have helped us to find ourselves, and the friendship and support we’ve found there have helped us to grow confident. We’ve slowly been shaking off the years of shame and repression that we felt when hiding our kinks, and when we could feel safe being ourselves, we’ve truly flourished. It’s a beautiful thing to see.
The scene itself has grown and developed, too. It’s a slow process, but things are growing more diverse and accepting. This party was probably the most diverse one I’ve ever attended. There was a lot of racial diversity, people of a good mix of (18+) ages, lots of both seasoned party goers and newbies, those who were local and those who came from far away, people who are spanko purists and those from the greater BDSM scene who share our love of smacking ass, lots of LGBTQ people. I hope this trend continues to grow. It makes me so sad to think that there are people who worry they won’t be accepted in the spanking scene because of another aspect of who they are.
Dates tend to mean a lot to me, so celebrating my third years of parties by partying hard with lots of amazing people was definitely great. I can’t wait to see what the next three years bring me. I’m so ready.
Woah, I haven’t been around very much recently. Life has been busy. And by busy, I mean way more busy than usual. Positively hectic for the past couple of weeks!
I went to Houston for the Lone Star Spanking Party, where I had a lot of wild hijinks and adventures that I’ll tell you about… soon!
Then I was home for about two short weeks, during which time I had to prepare for another very big and very exciting trip. In fact, I’m writing this post while waiting for my devices to charge and sync so I can have stuff to do on the plane, then I’m gonna hop in the shower quickly so I’m not truly horrible to sit next to, and then I’ll be off!
I’m heading to Texas again, to visit with my friends James and Korey Johnson tonight, then go to the Texas All State Spanking Party tomorrow for the weekend. I LOVE TASSP. It’s gonna be a great group of people there, and I feel so safe and relaxed around them, like I can really be myself without any stress. Besides kicking back and having fun, I’ll be doing some shooting and lots of sessions (there’s still time if you’re in DFW and want to book me last minute, just send an email to email@example.com). Plus, it’s my “partyversary”: TASSP was the first party that I ever attended, in 2012! This will be my fourth party! So, it’s very dear to my heart. Plus, I get to participate in a big, formal, school girl roleplay, which means that I’m taking a step closer to fulfilling my biggest unfulfilled fantasy. *dreamy eyes*
From there, I’m getting on a plane and heading to London! I’m visiting Paul there, and spending some time with Pandora Blake and a few other wonderful people. I can’t believe it’s been over two years since I last visited the UK. It will be so nice to be there in the summer time, too: I’ve only ever visited in February and March in the past. This time it won’t be cold! I mean, it will be cold compared to what I’m acclimatized to for the summer, but I think that’s acceptable. If I wear a jacket all summer, no one will judge me, right?
I spend about three weeks in the UK, and then I fly to Chicago for the Crimson Moon Party! THEN I go back to LA, where my cats will probably hate me for abandoning them with Rafa for so long. I’m going to miss those guys… and all my friends and partners here in LA. This will be the only time I’ve ever gone on a trip this long where I left a place that I felt truly good in. Other times, when I did long travels like this, I was trying to give myself a get-away from a place that I didn’t really want to be. So, that will be a bit different.
I’m going to try to post shorter things more frequently here, and see how that works for me. I think part of the reason that I never make time to blog these days is because doing a long post is such a huge time commitment for me: it takes me hours sometimes! So popping in to tell a quick story or two might be best for a while, until my travels are over, at least.
There are so many people that I can’t wait to see during the next couple of weeks, but of course Paul is at the top of that list. It’s been over five weeks since I said goodbye to him, and I’m so excited to know that in a few days I’ll be in his arms. No post TASSP drop for me! 😀
Oh, one more thing! Yesterday, my story, “Daddy’s Little Angela” was released as a stand alone, so if you didn’t buy the Little Haven collection (or if you did but REALLY want to support my writing) I highly recommend picking that up! I personally think it’s super hot, and that most people who are fond of ageplay will enjoy it. It centers around a girl who ageplays as a middle (much like what I do in real life) but, when she gets in trouble for teasing a sensitive girl in her community who plays at a much younger age, her daddy punishes her severely, and in very embarrassing ways!
This book is less than $4. It’s only available on kindle, but you don’t have to have a kindle to read kindle books: you can download the free kindle app for either your computer or your smart phone. There’s a link on the book’s page on amazon with instructions on how to do this. I’m so grateful to everyone who supports my writing ventures! I have a new book coming up soon, too. I just need to find the time to put the finishing touches on it: perhaps when I’m on the plane!
Ok, I have to get in the shower now or else I’ll be running late, and we all know what happens to people like me when running late! (The answer is spankings, just to be clear!)
I’ve been out of touch for a while: I’ve done a ton of traveling and working recently, and it’s been such a great adventure! I’m trying to keep up with blogging, but there’s always so much going on.
I do, however, have some great news for you. My second spanking novel has been published! My story, “Daddy’s Little Angela”, appears in a collection of other ageplay novellas. The collection, entitled Little Haven, takes place in a special community in the Midwest where all the occupants practice ageplay or have Daddy/little girl relationships. Besides my story, it includes works by Meredith O’Reilly, Normandie Alleman, Adaline Raine, and Summer Greystone. Each story stands on its own, but there are a few little connections between the plots!
Here are the official descriptions for the book in general and for each of the stories it contains:
Tucked in among the lakes and snowy woods of Minnesota, the tiny community of Little Haven is a place where couples who engage in age play are welcomed. Among its inhabitants are five women—Kara, Angela, Claire, Bailey, and Tabitha—each of whom has a man she knows as her loving daddy.
Little Haven features five brand-new titles from five excellent erotic romance authors. This collection includes:
Daddy’s Little Angela, by Alex Reynolds
Even though her own daddy is always more than ready to spank her bare bottom when she is naughty, Angela sometimes can’t help feeling superior to the other women in LittleHaven, particularly the ones who act the youngest. But her daddy will not tolerate her being mean to others, and after she makes fun of another girl and hurts her feelings badly, he decides that some very thorough, embarrassing discipline is needed. Angelawill be spanked, bathed, made to wear baby clothes, and treated like a very little girl until her daddy is sure that she has learned her lesson.
Daddy’s Little Sweetheart, by Meredith O’Reilly
Claire’s life is exactly the way she wants it to be. During the week she’s an adult with a full-time job, and on the weekends Jensen is her daddy and she’s his little girl, free to relax, play with toys, and cuddle in his arms. But when Claire starts missing meals routinely and coming home from work more stressed than he’s ever seen her, Jensen knows that something needs to change, and he decides that Claire needs more than just a weekend as a little. Will Claire trust her daddy’s judgment, or will she spend the next ten days with a very sore bottom?
Brody’s Little Brat, by Adaline Raine
When life starts to get out of hand for Kara, her boyfriend, Brody, decides that it is time for him to take charge. She needs a firm but compassionate daddy, and he loves her more than enough to give her exactly what she needs. From now on he will be ready to spank her soundly when her rebellious behavior warrants it, build her up when she is down on herself, and even take her to the town doctor for an exam when she is ill. Kara blossoms under Brody’s tender care, but can she really trust that her daddy will always be there for her?
Bailey’s Little Adventure, by Summer Graystone
Bailey loves role-playing as daddy’s naughty little girl, and nothing is more fun than dressing like a teen and bratting her husband, who is always ready to punish her properly before pleasuring her more than she would have thought possible. When she discovers that he would like to tie her up so that she is completely vulnerable and at his mercy, she trusts him to keep her safe, even when he pushes her past her comfort zone. But when she makes a mistake in real life that disappoints her daddy, can she trust that he will be there for her no matter what?
Daddy Knows Best, by Normandie Alleman
Career woman Tabitha is less than excited when her boyfriend, Neal, insists that she take a break from her high-stress job in Chicago and move with him to Little Haven. Despite her initial disdain for the town, Tabitha eventually begins to find a place for herself in her new community, and Neal’s increasing dominance in the bedroom leaves her longing for more. But she’s been keeping an important secret from him about her job back in the city. When he discovers the truth, will it tear them apart or will Neal be able to forgive his little girl?
For the first time, this book is available in both Kindle form and as a hard copy! If you order a hard copy and we end up at the same event this summer, I’d be so happy to sign it for you! Additionally, Stormy Night Publications and I have donated a copy of the book to the silent auction at the upcoming Texas All State Spanking Party, so if you’d like to contribute to a great charity fundraiser *and* get a copy of my book, you can bid on that! When The Doctor’s Little Girl came out, I had several people ask me about hard copies (which are not available for this title), so I hope you’ll jump on this chance.
If you’re not interested in getting the whole collection, my book will be released as a solo title later this month (but only on Kindle).
I spent a long time working on this project, so I really hope you’ll check it out. You’ll also get to read stories by some other great authors, who I think you’ll love! My story explores certain aspects of ageplay that I have explored in my personal life a bit (remember that I won’t write anything that I haven’t tried at least once!) but that I share less commonly on this blog and in my video work, has some steamy sex scenes and lots of embarrassing punishments, plus plenty of sizzling spankings.
I’m working on my next title right now! Hopefully it will be finished pretty soon. I’m not the best at finishing things that I write. I never know when to end them.
Look forward to more tales of my adventures coming soon!