WAAAH! So much for having free time and staying caught up! Life has remained in whirlwind mode pretty constantly since my last post. I started this one in the beginning of June, but damnit, I’m going to finish it!
So, a couple of months ago I had a super fun adventure that I’m going to talk about now. In the past year or so, fellow spanking model Adriana Evans and I have been getting closer and closer. In addition to being a spanking fetishist, Adriana is an ABDL (Adult Baby/Diaper Lover for those of you who don’t know). As I’ve become closer friends with Adriana, I’ve gotten the chance to get to know some of the awesome people that she’s friends with from that side of her kink (and, as a side note, I’ve had some fun exploring it myself with said friends).
First, I got the chance to spend some time with Ally Cakes, who became a fast friend of mine. We have a lot of interests in common and when she visited us in LA to shoot for Northern Spanking the first time, we spent tons of time talking and hanging out and became very close. Earlier this year, Ally came to visit and shoot with us a second time, and that connection grew even more. Although Ally has done plenty of ABDL modeling, her first shoot with us was her first time dipping her toe into the spanking video scene, and she did an awesome job. She’s just so cute!
Adriana, Ally and I became a little group of friends, texting each other a lot (mostly about cute things) and buying matching stuffed animals, et cetera. It was through these two that I was introduced to Ava Nicole, or misspandapants.
As soon as I saw Ava I knew that I wanted to shoot with her. She’s just adorable, and I was assured that although she was coming from the same situation as Ally (having done ABDL videos but never having done a spanking video) that she liked to be spanked. Since she lives elsewhere on the West Coast, she wasn’t *too* far away from us, so we decided to ask her if she’d want to come down to shoot. Since she was only going to be shooting with us and didn’t have any other plans in LA, I thought I’d offer to take her to Disneyland, too. Because who doesn’t love Disneyland? I figured it would be a good way for us to get to know each other better before the shoot, too, to make it a little less weird to just show up with some friends-of-friends and get spanked.
The problem came with how creepy I felt saying “Hey, I will take you to Disneyland if you fly down here and let us spank you.” Adriana and Ally assured me that it was the kind of creepy that Ava wouldn’t mind, so I got the nerve up to send the email. Lo and behold! Ava was up for coming to LA and was not creeped out by my offer to go to Disneyland. Maybe it just sounds like something that someone who wants to abduct you would offer to me? I dunno.
I started planning this shoot a bit before Paul came back, and it was one of the first shoots we did once he returned to the US. I was a little bit nervous on the way to pick Ava up from the airport. I’m always a bit concerned that people aren’t going to like me, and when I’m wearing my Producer Hat I’m also always cognizant of making sure that models, especially new models, are comfortable and having a good experience. But as soon as I met Ava, I knew we were going to get along. She’s just as nice as she is cute!
We spent a lot of the evening chatting and getting to know each other. It really helped that we were close with the same people already. As the visit progressed, it became clear that although Adriana, Ally, Ava and I (the A-Team?) had never all hung out, through both common experience and the magic of the internet, we were able to become mutually friends. They’re all such special girls and I feel so lucky to have gotten to know them. ^_^
Anyway, the next day, Ava and I went to Disneyland. It was a really, really awesome day. She had never been before, and it’s the most fun to go to Disneyland with people who don’t go all the time because they’re impressed with everything :P. Adding to the excitement for us was the fact that a bunch of baby ducks had just hatched and were running around all over the place being cute. :3 The baby ducks pictures didn’t turn out very well, so here’s us being cute instead:
The lines weren’t particularly bad that day, so we were able to do almost all of the fun stuff and still had extra time left. We ended up exploring Toon Town, which I usually don’t do, but we were definitely in the right headspace for it. We ran around and climbed on things and I got in Pluto’s dog bed, because cute.
The night normally ends with Fireworks, but we still needed to find a couple of souvenirs so even though we stayed in the park until it was closed, we ended up hanging out in the open-later-than-late-because-we-want-you-to-buy-stuff store searching for something for a shot glass. Because Disney is too family friendly for drinking, apparently (despite the fact that you can get REALLY unintentionally trashed on the drinks in the cove bar because they are potent with alcohol, but I digress) shot glasses are referred to as “toothpick holders” there. It took us a long time to find some, but by then we were determined. When we finally did, they weren’t that great, but at least we’d accomplished the mission? Then, as we were leaving, going out the same door that we came into the store through, we realized that literally the first table we walked past had exactly what we had been looking for on it. ihusfhsfhsnijbhksksguhseohur!!! Fail! We ended up going back in line and exchanging the one that Ava had picked out for the new one. It was a little ridiculous, but we were laughing the whole time.
The next day was our shoot day. Between the time that we booked the shoot with Ava and the actually shoot, a conversation had taken place with my very good friend Princess Kelley. Kelley had been retired from doing videos for several years, but had recently started thinking about possibly doing them again and had come to the conclusion that she was definitely up for it, but only wanted to appear as a Top. This conversation more than likely took place over pie or pancakes at our favorite hang out, but I’m not 100 percent on that detail anymore. But it’s likely.
I was thrilled that Kelley wanted to start doing videos again because she was so great at it! In such a short time spent filming, she had really made a mark on the spanking video world. Plus, having hung out with her for the past couple of years, I’ve come to be *very* fond of watching her give spankings. Her scolding is so perfect. A lot of her favorite scenes aren’t the kinds that I necessarily think of as my favorites, but watching her do them always leaves me unable to shut up about how hot they are. So, knowing that the shoot with Ava was coming up, I asked Kelley if she’d want to Top for most of the F/F scenes that we were planning and she said yes! I was a little overjoyed that in one shoot we’d be getting to work with a brand new-to-spanking model *and* do Kelley’s first shoot back in front of the camera. It was obviously destined to be something special.
Ava and I were surprisingly chipper on the day of the shoot given our long day at Disneyland. Our first few scenes involved Paul topping Ava and me doing camera and photography. I like to think that I’m getting better at both of these skills. I only took one unit of film production when I was in school and I spent a lot of that making a stop motion video of a cuddly moose and a cuddly polar bear playing checkers (of course I did, also the polar bear won) but I’ve had very good teachers now that I’m learning by doing: Paul has been making spanking porn for like 15 years or something like that and Rafa is a remarkably talented cameraman who actually did take and pay attention to tons of production classes at school. Being the only person on camera gets a little stressful for me sometimes, but I think everything from that morning turned out very well. A couple of previews, although you’ll have already seen more if you’re following me on tumblr:
Kelley then came over and we did the two girls’ first scene together, which is the one which is already out on Northern Spanking and our clips4sale, called “A Different Spoon.” The story is about Ava, who plays Kelley’s younger sister, trying to live up to her sister’s reputation as a good baker by volunteering to make the cakes for the school bake sale despite having no idea how to bake. As a Top, Kelley really excels at scenes that are caring and for-your-own-good. In this scene she really nailed that, not just scolding Ava for being irresponsible but emphasizing the importance of being her own person and embracing who she really is, not feeling like she has to do everything her big sister does. Plus, the spanking was delightfully hard. While watching, I found myself making Dale Cooper-esque thumbs ups to Paul, who was on the other camera, to signify that I was super happy with the way the scene was going.
Here are a couple of the pictures from that scene:
Plus, some behind the scenes photos that I took while Paul was taking the above photos:
We took a break for lunch, which we spent chatting in addition to eating and getting to know each other better (aside from Kelley and I, who already know each other pretty well, lol). During lunch, there was a knock on the door and a package was delivered. It was a bunch of school uniforms that I had ordered from online. I opened them up and enjoyed how cute they were. After lunch, we did a couple of other scenes with Kelley as the top, including Ava’s first on camera caning. For that scene, she was originally supposed to wear a gingham school dress that I got when I was in England, but those dresses can be hard to fit because they don’t really stretch in the chest at all and they’re designed for actually children. It was squishing Ava’s boobs a lot and it was not the best look. Fortunately, an alternate school dress had arrived during lunch, so we were able to use that the day we got it: something which never happens because I’m pretty addicted to buying more cute clothes for shoots than we can actually use -_-.
Plus, we had to get a scene of me spanking Ava, and one of Kelley spanking me, obviously. These two are photosets, and they’re both currently up on Northern Spanking.
There were other scenes shot, but I won’t spoil all the surprises there. You’ll have to wait and see. I personally find the final scene we shot that day hilarious as it’s chock full of inside jokes, but I’ll save that one and post the background story once it comes out because the story will make more sense if you’re actually able to watch the video.
Somehow, we all ended up in bras before the day was done, though:
After Kelley went home Paul, Ava and I did some decompressing, then went out for steak and drinks. Post shoot meals are always a lot of fun, and usually involve looking at all the photos that were taken that day on the camera while trying to pretend that you’re DEFINITELY NOT LOOKING AT PORN IN A PUBLIC PLACE (sidenote, all I ever do is look at porn in a public place).
Then, we came home and Ava and I drank good wine out of sippy cups. I mean, what else would you do after a hard day of work, really?!
The next day we had sushi for lunch and then took Ava back to the airport so she could head home. I haven’t gotten to see her again since, but we’ve chatted lots and lots in a girls’ group text with Ally, Adriana, Ava and I. Rumor has it, the gang will all get to be in one place for the first time ever for some spanking holiday that takes place in early September… I wonder what that could be?!
It’s been a long time since I’ve updated my blog. I miss you all!
Things have been busy over here, recently. Honestly, I don’t really know where the time goes. The time since my last post seems like a blur. It’s only by looking back at my calendar and the pictures that I took that I can remind myself of as much that happened as possible.
Shortly after the release of The Sheriff’s Little Girl, in the end of September, I headed out of town for a few days. I was doing an extended session with someone who is also a great friend, so it’s a lovely way to spend some time. The day after I got back, I got together with a new friend. She had emailed me after reading my blog and lived not far from me, so we met up and hung out. We went to the mall together and walked around, chatting about video games, cats, and of course, spanking. It was a really fun afternoon, and it was great to make a new connection through This Thing We Do.
That night, Paul and I had some much needed play time:
The next day, Paul and I drove down to Orange County so that he could pick up the car that he bought. Paul loves cars, and he spent a long time deliberating about what sort to get here in America. I’m quite pleased with the one that he chose: I think it suits him quite well!
I haven’t had a chance to get spanked in or over it yet, but I’m looking forward to it.
That night, we met up with Spankcake in order to help Erica Scott’s partner, John, surprise her for her birthday. We went to an amazing Japanese restaurant in the Hollywood Hills with an awesome view. We had champagne and Spankcake and I shared sushi (as usual for us!). Most importantly, we got to celebrate Erica, who we love so much. I’m not going to go into too much detail about the night, since this post is basically a clips show of the past six weeks, but you can read Erica’s account of it here. I will say that it was a truly amazing night, and some of the most fun I’ve had in a long time. John’s love and affection for Erica and his pleasure at seeing her so happy is something that always makes me smile when I recall it.
The next day we had the adorable Linny Lace over for a shoot! In case you aren’t familiar with Linny, she’s a pretty new spanking model based in Los Angeles. She did her first spanking shoot with Paul and I for Northern last spring. She’s super cute and very sweet, and I was happy to have her back for another shoot. If you use tumblr, you can follow her there.
This day, we were experimenting with producing content for someone else: they had seen me posting about custom videos available and had emailed me asking if I would film content for their site. We gave it a go. The plan was to shoot half the day for this other site and half the day for NS. It wound up being a *very* long day, but Linny was such a trooper. Because we had commitments to the other site, we only ended up being able to do one video for us, but it was a very fun one: our Halloween special.
This film was all my idea. Paul isn’t particularly enthusiastic about Halloween, but I definitely am. It’s one of my favorite holidays because I love dressing up. I kind of miss being young enough to be able to go door to door trick-or-treating, to be perfectly honest. So, I wrote a video about Linny and I having done that. In it, we’re American girls living in England, where the trick-or-treating is not so strong (and you get people like Paul and John Osborne being grumps about Halloween). I imagined that we’d want to participate in some of the mischief night aspects of the holiday and that our neighbors, and the local authorities, would not be so keen on that idea.
The video started with us sitting on the rug and sorting out our candy from our very full treat bags. This was a very thinly veiled excuse for us to have to buy two treat bags worth of Halloween candy, I’ll admit it, but it was all in the name of verisimilitude! Paul, our guardian, then interrupted us, having just gotten off the phone with the police about our criminal mischief involving egging houses and wrapping trees in toilet paper (admittedly, that’s a worse offense in the UK than in Southern California when you think about how rain works). Of course, we had to be severely punished, and we were both spanked and then caned.
We got to wear Halloween costumes in this, of course: Linny brought a really amazing Red Riding Hood costume that she made herself, and I wore my Hello Kitty costume from last year:
The next few days were full of sessions, working on my current Work in Progress, admin stuff and my butt wearing these shorts:
Shooting for two sites in one day is long, but we got a lot of good stuff done! The scenes that we did for KSS probably won’t be released for a while, but you can see a couple pictures anyway:
And here are a couple from Good Spanking (these videos are currently live on the site):
Do you like my bunny slippers? I’m kind of in love with them. They were a gift from someone awesome off my Amazon Wishlist. I kinda wish I could wear them every day.
We took that Sunday off, but on Monday, it was time to shoot again! This time, we shot with Cupcake SinClair. I had never met Cupcake, but I realized as soon as I met her that she was seriously sweet: the name suits! She’s so spunky and full of energy, and she was such a pleasure to work with. We’re definitely going to have her back for a longer shoot in the future. We did scenes for both Northern Spanking and for her site (linked earlier in this paragraph). It’ll be a little while before we get to introduce her on the site, but I’m excited for it, because the videos we did are totally great.
We had a lot of behind the scenes fun and giggles:
And here’s a picture of Paul and I being cute together off camera:
I had probably too much fun spanking her. This girl has a serious tolerance, so I got to use my meanest hairbrush, the one I try to avoid getting spanked with as much as possible!
The day after that, we drove down to Orange County to meet up with one of the ladies I’ve been friends with in the spanking community for the longest: Lily Starr. She was in town to do sessions, and I jumped at the chance to do a shoot with her! We did scenes for Lily Starr Spanking, Northern Spanking and Kitchen Sink Spanking.
One of the scenes that we did for Lily’s site was particularly fun: we got to wear Halloween costumes again! I had hoped that we could both dress up as slutty bears, as I had ordered stuff for a slutty polar bear costume to wear later in the month and Lily had a slutty panda outfit. However, the postal service failed me and my box arrived a day too late. Fortunately, Lily had some cute slutty Disney girl outfits that we wore instead.
In the scene, Lily was my friend (very much like in real life, in fact) and we had a Halloween party at my house. We spiked the punch and things got a bit out of control. Except we were playing as teens, so it was quite a big deal, and Paul (who played my dad) was super not thrilled to have a house full of drunken teenagers. I knew I was in for a spanking, but I didn’t know he was also going to punish my friend. We both got it very hard, too.
This film is special because it’s actually the first time that Lily and I have ever been spanked together on camera, despite having been filming together since 2011. We finally got to fix that!
We also did a really cute scene where Lily was my strict Aunt, who punished me for disobedience and bad language (and I got to wear my bunny slippers again):
And we did some cute scenes for Northern with Lily getting spanked by Paul. I love watching her get spanked because she has such sweet and genuine reactions.
That night, when we were finished shooting, we took some much needed alone time and snuck off to Disneyland, since we were pretty close by. We got dinner, watched the fireworks and went on a few rides. It was something we so needed! Even though we work together, it gets stressful to not get to also spend some down time together, and it was the refreshment that I needed, since there was a lot more busyness coming right up.
Despite my best efforts at brevity, I’m not going to be able to fit everything that’s happened into one post like I originally planned. Hopefully it won’t be another six weeks before I post again!
Before I go for the night, I have a couple things to add:
First, if you have a tumblr blog and you want to share the pictures featured in this post, that’s cool. Here’s what you need to do if you’re going to do that:
1) Put www.alexinspankingland.com as the source on the picture.
2) Not use them to advertise for something else, claim them as your own work/pictures of you or add a fictional story in which you rename me or make up a background for the picture (I’m sharing my life with you and don’t feel comfortable with it being used for these things, so please respect that).
3) Ideally, tag me @alexinspankingland so I can reblog your post. 🙂
The other thing:
Big thank you to the three people who left me blog comments while I was away, and to everyone who kept visiting this blog, keeping the traffic surprisingly high for a place that wasn’t being updated. I really appreciate you guys. I would *love* to get comments more often, even just saying hi. Engaging back and forth is so much more fun than just rambling about myself into a void. 🙂 Part of the reason that I use tumblr more often these days is because I get so much feedback and participation from people (admittedly some of it is totally dick, but most is great). I guess the real reason is because it takes a few minutes to add a post there where as this one took me almost two hours and hours are pretty hard to come by these days. But the fact that I get to interact with people there is really rewarding.
Although plenty of time passed between my return to the United States and my trip to BBW (in fact, nearly a month, I think) I’m trying to get caught up on things, so I’m going to focus on the most important parts of my adventures. The “problem” with my life is that I have had so many adventures recently that by the time I finish recounting one, I have gone off on at least another. For example, I’m currently in the middle of what is perhaps my favorite adventure I’ve ever embarked on, and I’m still a full month behind on my story telling. So, the best thing for me to do is to push forward and focus on the best parts. 🙂
In the middle of April, I left for New York to visit my surviving biological brother and shoot for Kelly Payne’s Tantrum Trainers before heading down to Atlantic City for Boardwalk Badness Weekend. I used to live in the New York area when I was a bit younger, and I grew up between Upstate New York and Southern New Jersey, so both places were a bit of a homecoming. My New York schedule was very tight packed indeed, and I didn’t really do a lot of socializing or visiting except with my brother. The most important thing that I did in New York was eat pizza. I did this literally every day that I was there. Growing up with the finest pizza on Earth really spoiled me, and going off into the world to discover that it kind of sucked everywhere else was the hugest disappointment that came with leaving home. The first time that I bit into a slice during this visit, I literally cried with happiness. I also was delighted that the weather was much nicer than it had been in Sioux Falls. I swapped snow for snocones, and was filled was joy.
|Snocones are one of my top 25 joys in life.|
Besides eating a tremendously unbalanced diet, the other highlight of this trip was, of course, filming. Kelly Payne was truly lovely, and I really hope to work with her again soon. The film that we did was challenging, though. I did it fully voluntarily, but it was very, very long (certainly the longest thing I’ve ever filmed without breaks) and had several things outside of my usual comfort zone. Thematically, it was about me being a prisoner in a women’s prison, where I was being interrogated about who was sourcing me drugs that I was distributing. I obviously refused to give this information up, resulting in lots of wicked things needing to be done to me to get me to that point. When I eventually *did* break down and give up my source (a lovely model named Ashely Rose, who appears in the sequel) my tourment didn’t stop, as the guards (played by Kelly and Miss Daisa) went on to punish me for having been so difficult in the first place, which hit every possible “terribly unfair!” button in my mind. The scene involved traditional spanking, flogging, caning and hairbrush spanking, all of which hurt quite a bit, although the hairbrush was by far the most difficult, as it was done at the very end. You know who thinks that a hairbrush over welts doesn’t hurt? Nobody. 😛
You can view promotional stills here. Be aware that these stills were taken during blocking, so that’s why you can’t see that anything bad has happened to me yet. 😛
The film fell only partly into my new “Dark and horrible” category, as my character was a real bitch, so it didn’t feel particularly victimizing. It did hit on another point that I’ve come to enjoy: resistance. I naturally don’t resist when I’m being spanked, and if I do, it’s minor. Why would I? I love being spanked, and the majority of my harder play has been in a submission oriented environment, where resistance isn’t appropriate in the least. I’ve struggled with trying to resist less and less, with learning to be entirely passive, to try to keep myself still and relaxed thru challenging stuff. As I’ve expanded my horizons in terms of what types of scenes I enjoy, I’ve found that it’s refreshing to me to do things that are drastically different than what I usually do. Being resistant, struggling, protesting, disobeying et cetera (in a film or a play situation where this is negotiated as acceptable) is sort of relieving. I don’t have to try to be good. I can do whatever I want. I don’t have to worry that if I work myself up too much, the scene will stop. That makes me feel both a sense of security and a sense of freedom, which is a nice mix.
After spending an enjoyable few days, I got on a bus to head down to Atlantic City on Wednesday night. I lived in Atlantic City when I was a teenager, and I spent a considerable portion of time there with my brother who passed away. I hadn’t been back in many years. I had a lot of emotions when I was taking the bus down, as it was the same trip I often used to take with a sense of desperation, as I often returned to A.C. in my earlier days in order to run from something. It was invigorating that I was going there feeling safe, to see people that I deeply cared for and to have adventures.
When I arrived, I walked up the boardwalk to the hotel and got set up for the night. I was staying with Tomdiscp and _Morgan that evening, and it was already fairly late when I arrived. I was all gross from traveling, so I took a nice, long bath while I waited for room service to come and bring me dinner. I had an enjoyable meal after that, during which time I discovered that Richard Windsor was already at the party, so I figured it would be nice to get to socialize with him a bit before things took off and he got really busy. I went down to the bar to meet him, only to discover that Pandora was also already there. This was a most delightful combination of people, and lots of hugging ensued. Rich let me wear his hat, as he sometimes does, and then he did something which made me feel tremendously special: he left the bar for a minute to do something and left his hat with me. Richard is very protective of his hat, as it’s something very precious to him, and it made me feel very trusted indeed that he would leave it with me, if only for a few minutes. It was wonderful to see Pandora again, as I missed her horribly since I had left her apartment in London about a month beforehand. We engaged in some of the time honored activity of “girls kissing in a bar,” which lead to a bit of staring that didn’t bother either of us. Then the bar closed, so the three of us joined a group of people going up to Mike Stien’s room. I hadn’t met Mike Stien before, but he was lovely, and I enjoyed chatting with him as well as the others. There was a lot of couch cuddling, which made me feel safe and delighted.
|This is kind of a silly photo, but I feel that it carries a lot of affection 🙂|
I was a very bad influence on poor Pandora, who had wanted to go to bed early to fix her sleep cycle a bit. I kept her up until the early morning, when she finally had the good sense to stop listening to me and get some sleep. Rich and I chatted a bit more after that, and I eventually returned to the room where I was staying and snuck in to get a bit of rest, as I had several very full days ahead of me. 🙂
I’ll continue in another post very soon! In the meanwhile, I need to get back to my adventuring. ♥
As my time in England drew to a close, I felt a certain sense of sadness drawing on me. While my trip had begun with me hating everything and desperately wanting to be home, the thought of leaving now made my heart heavy. Of course I was looking forward to seeing everyone that I hadn’t for so long, but it didn’t stop my other feelings. I was made more sensitive and vulnerable than I usually am (so, that’s saying something!) by the combination of this and a stressful situation that was going on back in the states. Everyone remained very patient with me, though and I got to have several more exciting adventures before the day did arrive when I had to leave.
One day, close to the end of my visit, Paul took me for a walk on the shore. Having grown up by the sea, I’m always fascinated by visiting beaches that are different than the New Jersey coastline that I identify in my mind when I hear the word “ocean.” It was very different: the waves were small and choppy, but without foam, the water seemed to be a different hue, and the beach itself was made up of a mixture of tiny rocks and broken shells.
Being by the water is linked to the majority of my positive childhood memories, and it’s a setting that brings me back to a happy part of my mind, making me feel small, but in an entirely comfortable way. Paul held my hand as we walked along, although I constantly stopped to pick up tiny seashells. These shells are precious to me, now, and I always have one of them in the pocket of my favorite sweater, and just running my fingers over it reminds me of that buffer I talked about before: safety, comfort and love. I later discovered that one of them has a hole in it naturally, so I stuck it on a chain and often wear it as a necklace.
|Shell necklace, as seen around my neck in this photo from the other day by Amoni.|
Another fun experience happened when Zoe came over and spent the night (along with two other girls who I didn’t really know) and mass girliness ensued. It was lovely to hang out in a group of people, where we chatted and drank champagne while Lucy dyed one of the other girls’ hair, but the part of the evening that mostly stands out in my mind was once Zoe and I were meant to go to bed. She was staying in the same room as me, and in the time honored tradition of any two girls spending a night together that usually don’t, we stayed up extremely late chatting. We kept giggling and then remembering to be quiet and whispering for a moment, and then someone would say something that would make the other gasp and we’d forget and get noisy again. We talked about all kinds of things, including how we got into the scene and how we both started filming, and we shared awkward but funny stories and even a few personal secrets. Eventually, we went to sleep, but not without several false starts of “Okay, we really have to go to bed now!” “Alex! It’s three! Go to sleep!” “Zoe! Stop talking!”
The next morning, Zoe painted my nails for me. She’s into nail art, and I asked her to do Pikachu faces for me, which she gladly and successfully did. I found this to be the most delightful thing that has ever happened to my hands (in a few days you will hear about the least delightful thing that has ever happened to my hands). I’m still impressed with how cute they are. It was a sad day when I eventually had to take them off.
|Zoe Page is the most awesome ever.|
I think it was the next day that I left Paul and Lucy’s house. Paul took me to another town, where we were both filming for Bars and Stripes on the day before I had to leave to go back. I was quite sad to leave, and I said my goodbyes to Lucy then, although I would be seeing her at BBW as well.
Shooting for Bars was incredibly fun for me. There was the fact that there were a ton of people that I liked all on set together: Paul, Stephen and Zoe all topped me (I got to be the center of lots of tops’ attention again! Bonus!) and Michael was filming. We were filming at Dodgy Dave’s place, and he was around and assisting, and I got to know him a bit. It was just a lovely group of people, and a wonderful way to end my visit. I also loved the content that we filmed. I mentioned before that I’ve recently gotten more into doing “dark and horrible” scenes. At some point, I realized that as much as I love the sweet and innocent stuff, or the very consensual play that I engage in at home, as much as I relish in the good feeling of being beaten by someone with affection for me, there’s something that I find positively invigorating about scenes with non consensual themes. I’ve gotten very fond of abuses of power, force, pressure, terrible unfairness, power held via intimidation rather than respect and so on (in role play, of course). The content that we filmed for Bars was all about that stuff. There was no “you’re really a good girl, we care about you quite a bit, but you’re going to get spanked anyway.” In it’s place was a general sense of nastiness, authority figures who disliked me and were very liberal with their force, yelling, shouting back and forth at each other, manhandling, trickery and sleeping on the floor with only a blanket. Again, whenever I say that I’m getting into something new, I don’t mean that my interest in this replaces anything that I was previously into, or is more important than that which I traditionally liked all of the sudden. It’s just an expansion of my taste to include additional things, or a growth of my set of options.
I originally kind of imagined that there would be something uncomfortable about filming this sort of stuff with people who were my favorite people in real life, like I wouldn’t be able to take their scariness seriously. In actuality, it was probably only as awesome as it was because of the fact that I knew and trusted everyone involved. It was delightful to step so far outside of myself that I was in a world where I was fearful and angry towards these people one moment, and then, as soon as we cut, I immediately started snuggling them. I trusted everyone enough that there was no real emotional discomfort when things got intense. I just felt very secure, and delighted by the darkness of the scenes. I don’t mean to say that any of the stuff we filmed was vicious. It just wasn’t “nice.” But it was hot. All of it felt wonderful to do.
The final scene that I filmed in England was a double caning from Paul and Stephen, and it was probably the best film to finish with. I’ve always been kind of infatuated by the idea of co-topping, and I hadn’t had a lot of chances to do well developed scenes of that nature before this trip. I was lucky enough to get to do two of them: the scene I’m discussing and one for Dreams of Spanking where I got double strapped by Pandora Blake and Thomas Cameron. Both of these scenes were delightful. Besides all the things I’ve just discussed above, there were two things about this scene that really stood out to me. One was the fact that for part of it, the two Tops were kind of chatting amongst themselves about things unrelated to the work at hand (that is to say, unrelated to caning me). I found this to be horribly dismissive and objectifying in a way that was incredibly appropriate to the scene and was also thrilling. The other moment which stands out to me was near the end of the scene when I was made to thank Officer Kennedy for beating me. This stands out in my mind because it made me aware of just how deeply into my character role I’d gotten and how much a different atmosphere can change the way things feel to me. In “real life,” it feels entirely normal to thank someone for spanking me. I throw it out spontaneously in the middle of a scene sometimes when something hurts in a way that makes me particularly submissive. If I was prompted to thank someone at the end of the scene, I might feel slightly sheepish that I hadn’t remembered to do it on my own without reminding, the way that I feel when someone has to remind me to rinse my bowl before putting it in the sink. In this scene, it was horrible. It was enraging. It was tremendously humiliating. I refused. I would not. That’s a rotten, awful thing to ask of a person, and only a terrible man would demand such a thing, thought my in-character brain. Eventually, of course, I did, but it was bitter.
Then the scene was done, and I felt incredibly high. Filled with positive emotion and endorphins. Elevated by having gone to such a place in my brain. Having been co-topped meant that I had an excuse to force two people to hug me instead of one (although, really, with this group of people I didn’t need an excuse or force ^_^).
And then we were finished filming, and I felt sad again. My adventure was ending. It was almost over.
That night was melancholy to me, but very nice. We went out to dinner at a pub all together, and Zoe and I got excessively big ice creams, just like we had the first night, when Paul had picked me up and taken us up to Derbyshire. We all bantered back and forth, told stories and laughed as we relaxed from the day’s work. Eventually, it was time for everyone else to go home except for Paul and I, who were spending the night at Dodgy Dave’s place, as I’d be going to the airport early in the morning. At some point, I had started to get sick. I thought perhaps I was allergic to something in the air, although I later discovered that I was actually just getting a cold. Anyway, I sneezed and my nose ran basically the rest of the night, which made me feel kind of silly and awkward. Despite this, that evening stands out in my mind as one of the sweeter ones ever. Paul looked after me in a way that was firm but extremely affectionate, and I melted into that feeling. We went up to bed fairly early, as I had to get up in the morning and that’s not something that’s ever easy for me, and then he sat on the bed, put me over his lap and spanked me lovingly for a terrifically long time. I imagined that the entire world was that moment, so that I wouldn’t worry about it being over, and melted into some quiet space in my mind where I was delicate and vulnerable but very well protected. This was, of course, interrupted by my constant sneezing, but that really didn’t bother me much. This was good.
When the spanking was over, my bottom was buzzing with heat, but the rest of me felt entirely relaxed.
“How do you feel?” he asked me.
“Vulnerable. Safe. Happy.” I answered, my voice difficult to find and control.
“Good,” he said. “Do you want to know how I feel?” I nodded. “Wonderful,” he said.
After that, I snuggled up against him and tried to fall asleep. It almost pleased me that I kept sniffling and keeping myself up, because I liked being awake in that moment, floating in some relaxed, half awake snuggle state. Eventually, though, I slept.
In the morning, Paul took me to the airport, where I we ate breakfast together before I had to get on my plane and leave. Somehow, I managed not to cry until I was in flight, where I snuck into the bathroom to do it. It was okay, though. I knew I’d be back. ♥
After having finished the two very exciting shoots that I wrote about in my last couple of posts, I spent a few more days with Pandora. The time that we spent just hanging out was always fun and enjoyable. We did sessions and had fun together. A huge portion of this involved me picking up her cat and not putting her down when she wanted me to. 😛 Eventually, though, Pandora needed to get back to the rest of her life, and I was meant to go visit S_F at this point. Unfortunately, his situation horrible personal situation had not improved, and he was unable to come get me or host me at his house. I actually didn’t end up seeing him at all, the entire time I was in England. Instead, Paul Kennedy and Lucy McLean were kind enough to agree to host me for the rest of the time that I was there. This ended up being basically the best thing ever.
Paul came to pick me up from Pandora’s, and we all had some tea and cake (although just regular cake, not Cake of Ultimate Joy™) before I had to say goodbye to her. I knew I wasn’t going to see her until BBW, which was about a month away, and this was sad for me, because I knew I was going to miss her. I hugged her a lot, and I harassed her cat as much as I could before I had to leave. As disappointing as it was to have to leave Pandora, I was excited that I was going to get to spend more time with Paul. I had found myself thinking about him pretty consistently since I left his house, and I was happy that I’d be seeing more of him.
When we returned to his house, I got to see his wife, Lucy, who I had only briefly met at Shadowlane last year. Lucy wasn’t feeling well that night, but being the horrible influence on my innocent friends that I am, I somehow managed to keep us up until the early morning chatting. Lucy is one of the coolest people to talk to ever, because she knows about an infinite number of things that I don’t know about, mostly lady things, and because she never makes me feel stupid or annoying when I have to ask a hundred and fifty questions about something. Additionally, she’s extremely kind, and I knew as soon as we finally got to sit down and socialize a bit that I really, really liked her and enjoyed being around her.
It’s hard for me to pinpoint the details of the time that I spent at their house and put it all in order. As before, I felt very relaxed and at ease while there, and the environment made me feel really free to be myself. Paul and I got to scene together pretty regularly, as well as just spending normal time together, and I found myself feeling very affectionate towards him– I think I spent the majority of the free time that I had while I was at their house cuddled up to him on the sofa. While it didn’t feel much of anything like the other D/s relationships that I’ve had, at one point or another I realized that I felt very submissive towards him, in a way that made me feel tremendously safe. Some kind of buffer of safety and comfort built up around me as we spent time together, and even though we’re away from each other now, it’s never gone away. In certain ways I felt tremendously shy about it, but I was slowly realizing that this feeling was greater than just affection, or caring or any other words that I might use to describe it aside from love (spoiler alert, we’re in a relationship now). But I didn’t entirely come to this conclusion until after I had returned home. At the moment, it was just a very happy time, in a place and with people that made me feel very contented.
One day near the beginning of this particular chapter of my never-ending adventure, Paul took me into London for what was kind of originally meant to be a variety of tourism events including hanging out at Camden Lock and shopping, but which turned into exclusively that, because I was so enthralled by it. It was cold and kind of constantly rainy, but I just loved walking around and checking out everything. If you don’t know, it’s an area that’s full of kind of alternative stores and vendors and it’s by the waterfront. I obtained several adorable things here, including a couple of excessively cute bunny related things and my very own prefect badge, which is something I’ve always wanted. In a vintage store, I found and got to try on some actual school uniform blazers (the fancy type) but none of them actually fit me, largely because they were all designed for boys of various ages. It was still super cool to wear, and I hope that some day I actually can find a real, legitimate one that fits me properly.
|I have this bunny shirt now. Also, this photo was taken at 13:37. Hawt.|
Shortly after this, a series of events that I now refer to as The Camden Pancake Incident took place. During this incident, Paul got me a pancake from a street vendor. This was basically a sweet crepe, and, for Angelinos, it was served sort of similarly to the ones that I used to get at Four Leaf: folded up on itself in a paper cone. I got it nutella, strawberries and whipped cream, which was basically the best combination of things I could think of, and it was hot when it was handed to me, which pleased me greatly due to my constant state of being kind of cold in England. “Don’t make a mess,” Paul warned me as I started to eat it, and I kind of responded with “Yeah, of course, obviously” or something.
I then proceeded to make a bigger mess than I have ever made in my entire adult life.
Because the pancake was hot, all the nutella and whipped cream melted together into some sort of drippy, creamy, chocolatey goo that got everywhere. It got all over my coat. It got all over my dress. It got all over my socks and shoes. It dripped in a trail behind me. It got into my hair. I probably got it on Paul. It was just impressively messy. I tried to clean as much of it up with napkins as possible, but that had limited success. I was just a sticky mess for the rest of the day. Later, when we got back to the house and I changed to go to bed, I discovered that I had somehow gotten it on my skin under my dress and on my underwear, which doesn’t even seem to follow the laws of physics to me.
Sigh. I’m an adult, I promise.
That evening, we went to a bar where I got to meet Leia-Ann Woods for the first time. She was really peppy and very entertaining to talk to, and I was excited that we’d be getting to see each other again at Boardwalk Badness Weekend the next month. On every occasion that we’ve been together, I’ve failed to take a photo. F – -.
That evening ended in a lovely way, as Paul and I went to dinner, and then took the train back to his town (on which I was very sleepy). The adventure finished with taking a midnight ferry ride, which was theoretically really enticing to me, but ended up being super cold. Fortunately, Paul took me upstairs to a giant heat vent, which I stood under and filled my happiness meter.
That weekend, we filmed for Northern Spanking. I often go thru and give a long play-by-play which describes the scenes that were filmed during a shoot, but this particular one is under-wraps. I’ll just say the following things:
* Besides me and Paul, the films involves Stephen Lewis, Michael Stamp and Zoe Page. There’s something incredibly, indulgently enjoyable about having four tops all to oneself.
* At one point, I wore this fancy outfit, courtesy of Lucy, who besides being amazing herself has all the most amazing stuff to wear ever:
* While we were planning out one of the scenes, Paul sat in this tiny chair, and I think this is the most endearing photo ever.
* It became obvious to everyone that I don’t really know my left from my right particularly well and that I’m horrible at singing.
* Some parts of this were ridiculous.
The final adventure that I shall detail in this post involves Primark. I don’t think most people in the US know what Primark is, unless they’ve been around me recently and have asked me where I bought something I was wearing. Primark is a stylish (“fashion forward” I think is the term) but inexpensive store in England. A lot of the styles that they had were very “me.” They had an enormous selection of underwear and pajamas.
I bought all the things.
So. Many. Things.
I’m almost ashamed to post a photo, because I feel like it makes me look a little awful, but I’m going to anyway.
|This was only the first day. I went back. -_-|
Lucy and Zoe took me, and they were the best people I’ve ever shopped with. They were never annoyed at me for spending so much time, and they helped me try things on, and they told me when things did or didn’t look good on me, they carried stuff around, they took stuff into the dressing room for me… it was just amazing. Lucy fitted me for bras and I finally got some that looked appropriate on me AND are comfortable. The second trip involved me learning what kind of jeans actually don’t make me look stupid, and I’ve actually taken to wearing them fairly regularly (one of those developments in my personality that some people continue to be flabbergasted by). After the shopping adventure, I tried on literally everything in a fashion show, including every single pair of panties that I bought, which I think numbered at least 50. This whole “Alex bought all the things” event lead to me being kind of annoying to my friends at home when they want to know where I got something, because basically all the clothes I wear now come from this exhibition. This also lead to me promising not to shop for two months after coming back from England, which lead to me consistently getting myself a variety of forms of trouble, but most of that is another story.
There will only be one more post about England after this, and then I will post rather briefly about BBW, and then I have a few more adventures to describe before I am all caught up. PROGRESS! ♥
The day after filming for Dreams of Spanking, Nimue, Pandora and I got up and got ready for another day of adventures in pornography: this time for Nimue’s World. In case you aren’t familiar with the site, Nimue’s World is a mixed fetish site with quite a bit of spanking content. It has other BDSM stuff, bondage, exhibitionism, girl sex and other good stuff mixed in, too. I honestly didn’t know a lot about the site before Nimue asked me to shoot for it. I just knew that Pandora had filmed for it previously. I looked at a lot of the preview materials before shooting, though, and decided that I liked the feel of it. It seems to emphasize the feeling of playtime, and it’s often very visually obvious to me that the people filming on the site like each other (sometimes, for some of the more horrible stuff, there’s a behind the scenes clip to make this more obvious) and I find that very comforting. As a model, it’s important to my content-viewing-enjoyment to feel that a site is overall positive about itself, its content and its cast, and I certainly got this vibe the first time that I viewed Nimue’s site.
Nimue and I filmed two videos and did three photosets. The first scene was one that Nimue wrote based on some of my preferences that I told her about during our pre-shooting email exchanges. Specifically, I told her that I like force, roughness and clothes ripping. I don’t think that these are things that people tend to associate with me, so I’m going to diverge for a minute here.
My primary, ideal kink scene is something that I think everyone who has read this blog for more than five minutes can probably identify: I like pretty domestic spanking scenes that mix affection, trust, vulnerability and physical intensity more than I like anything else. That’s at the very heart of my kink experience. All of the scenes that I’m interested in doing involve spanking in some way (or, for those who don’t consider it the same thing, involve beating me on the thighs. That’s nearly as important to my kink as traditional spanking is). There are a ton of other “kinds” of spanking scenes that also appeal to me, though. Role-play scenes. Ridiculous scenes. Super formal things. I like lots of variety, but for a long time, I was hesitant to explore physically rougher (in terms of handling) and emotionally darker scenes. At some point fairly recently, some switch flipped and I discovered that I found this to be delightful. I started testing the water with slightly less emotionally comfortable stuff from time to time, and it exhilarated me. This is a theme that I’ll discuss at more length later in my narrative, because there’s an episode in which it’s more relevant, but for now, I came up with the idea of having my clothes all ripped off and I was excited that Nimue included it.
I like this (in an obviously consensual environment) because it feels like it’s high on the scale of roughness, impatient, horrible, rapey. The scene that Nimue wrote was a bullying one, and I like that, too. It’s a scenario I’ve only ever explored during videos (well, on the receiving end, anyway. There are certain individuals who might claim that I am occasionally a bully to Mila). It works out pretty well for me, though. It allows me to play with my peers in a way that’s rough but which makes logical sense as to why the authority is set up. I like it because the authority is set up by force. That’s the name of the game. Nimue’s bullying scene set us at school. She was dressed in uniform, but because it was my first day, I just had on a dress and knee socks. I hadn’t received my uniform yet. Nimue told me to go get her book that she’d forgotten but needed for class, as part of the fine tradition of older, more experienced students bossing newbs around. I refused, unaware of said traditions. Nimue responded by bringing it: she pulled me to the floor by her hair, wrestled around with me, shoved me, ripped my dress off (it ripped gloriously, like it was designed to be torn off. It was kind of epic) and then started to slap me around. She spanked me, including doing it in very non-traditional positions and she rolled me over and slapped me on the breasts. This was pre-negotiated, although I’d never done it before.
Holy. Shit. That hurt.
It was a humbling experience to be hit in a way that was totally different than what I was used to and what fit into my kink picture. I often see myself as being a pretty heavy player. I’ve taken some epic beatings in my day. When I’m well, in a secure environment and playing with someone I love, I’ve never actually found an upper limit of what I can tolerate in terms of spanking. This reminded me that I’m not actually all that physically tough: I’m just good at taking spankings. As odd as it may sound, it felt really nice and refreshing to be reminded of that. It made me tremendously vulnerable, but I felt safe and trusting towards everyone who was around me. But every slap, even though entirely not hard compared to what I was used to, took my breath away. I was shocked by how much it hurt. That section was mercifully short, though, and we returned to things I could take properly. The whole scene ended up being really hot, and chock full of the kind of awful that I’ve come to adore.
The second thing we shot was a bondage photoset. Nimue did a wonderful job tying me, and I like the way the photos came out. It was Nim’s idea that I wear my glasses for it and I liked the look: super dorky naked girl all tied up. What’s not to love? Pandora did the photography, and I think she did a lovely job as well.
Following this, we moved into the bedroom to do a wonderfully sexy film entitled “Best Girlfriend Ever.” This film has me and Pandora together, with her as my Domly girlfriend. I’ve decided to experiment with self-bondage and have gotten myself trapped in a very vulnerable position– with my feet up, basically in a diaper position.
Pandora comes in and catches me and chastises me for not being safe, as well as for keeping my desires to experiment with bondage to myself instead of asking her to tie me up. I try to explain that I was doing it to surprise her. She responds by spanking me with her hand and then a leather paddle, and also gives me a number of slaps on my breasts while they’re bound in a rope harness. In my opinion, Pandora made this scene crazily hot. There’s a lot of sexual energy between us in the film (and it’s genuine, she and I are involved off camera) and it’s really wonderful. I’m going to eventually write about the way that my relationship between kink and sexuality has evolved (and the ways in which it hasn’t changed at all) since I haven’t really addressed that recently, but let’s just say I enjoyed doing this. 🙂
Our next project was a photo set in which I got to wear my fabulous bunny romper (a gift from my scene sister Betty Crocker) again. In this scene, Nimue brushed and braided my hair while I threw a tantrum about it, resulting in me experiencing the far less pleasant side of the hairbrush. I’m not going to lie: throwing a tantrum while someone is playing with my hair is counter intuitive. I love having my hair touched in just about any way: tender playing, brushing, rough horribleness, it all works for me. I had to think of all sorts of horribly unfair things in order to inspire my tantrumy faces.
I think that these pictures are incredibly sweet and adorable. How can you not say “Awww?”
The final thing we did was a stripping photoset, which Nimue suggested that we do outside. I agreed to this, although I made her shoot it pretty quickly because fuck being cold. I do like being naked in the outdoors, although I didn’t enjoy it as much as I would have it the weather had been warm. Nimue was pretty effective with it, and I tried my best to do minimal whining. 😛
That was the end of the day’s work. All of the sets have been put up on Nimue’s World, so I recommend checking them out. I’ve watched them all at least a couple of times, as well as having perved on a bunch of the other content on her site, especially her spanking content. It’s good stuff. I like Nimue a lot, and I hope to film with her again in the future. ♥
After the adventures involved in my last post, Pandora Blake, Thomas Cameron, Nimue Allen and I prepared for a day of shooting for Dreams of Spanking. Dreams of Spanking is one of my favorite spanking sites. This was my second shoot for it, and my first “full” one. We’d only done a couple of scenes in the past, during the Texas All State Spanking Party last year. I was excited to get to do some more involved scenes, including some with interesting costumes and sets. Nimue wasn’t in any of the scenes: she was doing the camera work and other production elements, and we were filming for her site, Nimue’s World, the next day.
The first film that we shot was loosely based on our real life behavior the first night I arrived at Pandora’s house: we were meant to go to sleep, but instead we kept staying up and talking and giggling loudly. This scene also prominently featured our stuffed animals, who were the ones keeping us up and making all the noise in the first place (or so we insisted). Tom played a kind enough but stern guardian figure who was pretty annoyed by our insistance on being noisy, and spanked and strapped both of us in the morning. We tried to get our punishment lessened by wearing adorable, matching cat underwear, but as is usually the case with these things, this was entirely unsuccessful. I really like the stills I’ve seen from this set (all previews, since it is as of yet not released) because of how aesthetically pleasing I find Pandora and I when we’re naked together. We have very similar shapes, and I think that looks great.
|There’s a lot of matching in this photo|
The second film that we did was interesting because it used creative camera work and had a unique point of concept. This video is currently available on Dreams, and’s called “Alex’s POV.” It features a lot of shots which show what I can see during the spanking: shots taken as I turn over my shoulder and my own view of my bottom in a mirror propped up near us. This scene was great to film, because our characters were very nearly ourselves, and that’s always a relaxed environment for me. I also like it because it’s fairly physically intense while still being entirely done with Tom’s hand: hard hand spanking is always a winning combination in my book. Furthermore, there was something sweet about the scenario: in some ways, it was similar to the spanking that Pandora had given me in my real life the night before: in the film, Tom suggests that a spanking would make me feel better about my less than ideal behavior while I was overseas. He’s not meant to be my Dominant, just an affectionate friend who is stepping up and filling that role while no one else was around to. It was lovely to be able to watch the spanking in the mirror: that made it much more intense for me. You can read Pandora’s writing about this film here.
Watching this movie after the fact, I was pretty pleased with the way that this captured the actual experience of the spanking. It was the video that I’ve watched myself in which was closest to my actual memory of the event. It also had a very intimate feeling surrounding it.
The next thing that we shot was a photoset to celebrate the Pagan holiday Beltane, or the rites of spring. This involved Pandora dressing me in a beautiful period costume and the use of lots of props, including real mead in the horn. I got to wear flowers in my hair and I loved my outfit, so it very much appealed to the “dressing up to make a fantasy real” side of things. The unfortunate part of this, though, was that it was March in England, which isn’t a time when the weather is nice. It was grey and rainy out, and being outdoors with my shoes off and my skirt lifted wasn’t exactly warm. In case I haven’t complained about this enough on my blog, I don’t enjoy being cold, or undressed in the cold, or getting hit with things in the cold. Still, I liked the idea enough that I soldiered on with it (no one forced me to go out and do it: I just got thru it by complaining a lot because I did actually want to). These pictures came out beautifully, and I love looking at them. These are my two favorites.
I then had to get warm, because I was quite chilled, so we came inside and I put a bunch of fluffy things on above my costume:
|Oh hey, I’m never ridiculous! Ha.|
The next set that we filmed is, as of yet, unreleased, but it was really hot. I mentioned to Pandora during the creative process that I was getting really into doing dark, awful and non-consensual scenes. This is something I’ll talk about more later, as it’s been part of the shift that’s happened in terms of me accepting what a huge variety of things I like in the scene. Pandora and I then started scheming up a darker scene, and the one we came up with involved me as a journalist about to blow the whistle on some unethical behavior being tormented by two quite villainous corporate figures: Tom and Pandora. I liked the awfulness of the film. It was just hot. I got to genuinely crying pretty quickly, especially when they co-topped me.
|Here’s a photo of me having been spanked, in heels, stockings and a “suspender belt”. You’re welcome.|
The next scene was one of the most hilarious ones to film in my personal history as a spanking model. The plot was simple and based on Pandora’s real life: I played a character based on Pandora who is keeping a cat in her apartment against the terms of her lease. The landlady comes by to check up, and I hurriedly rush the cat into the bathroom and shut the door. Unfortunately, I leave a toy mouse under the pillow (and Fatface has shed everywhere) and the clever landlady (played by Pandora) figures out my scheme and responds with a spanking. This ended up being so funny because I actually had to cart Pandora’s cat (aka the love of my life) around for the video. I have trouble sometimes because many of the photographers that I’ve worked with in the past have directed me to look directly into the camera instead of looking past it, or making eye-contact with someone else in the frame, et cetera. Most spanking producers don’t want this: they want things to look more natural. I’ve tried to train myself to look in the places that look the best on film, but I often still forget. “Don’t look into the camera, Alex!” Pandora reminded me as we were shooting the stills for this set.
|Fatface gives 0 fucks about your directions.|
I laughed so goddamn hard at the way that cat stared down the camera. I still LOL when I see this picture months later. It’s just way too funny. The first time we saw this, Pandora, Nimue and I laughed until tears were literally rolling down our faces. Here’s another angle:
|Fuck you, guys.|
The actual spanking was a bit neat, since we used one of my personal implements. This was the first time I’ve ever done this on film, and in this case, it was the wooden spoon called “Warren” which is part of the “Trinity of Terror” (or, the three worst things I get hit with on a regular basis). There was something personal and kind of exciting about this.
|Pandora is so freaking hot.|
We wrapped up the day’s filming with another one of the best things I’ve ever been involved in, in and out of a spanking video: #sofafort. We built the best softafort ever made in Pandora’s living room. The shape of her couch made it much easier than it could have been, since it’s a sectional. We covered it with blankets and propped the middle up with a broom. It looked incredibly fucking awesome.
We then filmed an adorable ageplay video inside and around it, where Pandora and I are dressed in cute pajamas (I’m in my bunny romper and she’s in my bunny pajamas, because we needed a lot of pink bunny stuff and therefore looked to my wardrobe :D). We actually filmed INSIDE the sofa fort, including Pandora spanking me as sort of play acting, and then Tom coming in and finding that we’ve built a fort instead of tidying up for company and discipling us while bent over the fort with a pair of pretty hard hairbrush spankings. It stung like a son of a bitch, and I kicked and wailed in a pretty pathetic manner. We were then told that we had to dismantle the fort and get ready for company. Sad. Day.
After we finished filming Tom had to go, but Nimue was spending the night so we left the fort up for a while and hung out inside, talking and snacking on chips and hummus. Then we had some cider and filmed our video blog. It was an awesome day. 😀
Before I go on to my next post, I want to address a few things. First of all, I have been pretty busy and frequently out of town, so apologize for the lapses in posting. I’ve been toying with the idea of putting my UK stories on hold and just writing about BBW, but I’ve decided to work harder at getting thru each bit the way that it happened. Also, I wrote this entire post while on the plane to New York, but I was unable to save it (since the plane was without Wifi) and ended up losing all my work, so I’ve been kind of pissed about that and avoiding rewriting. Still, time to move forward!
When I left off, we’d completed our first three videos of the day, and after lunch, we moved on to film a pair of short, straight-forward films on the infinity curve. In case you don’t know what an infinity curve is, it’s a big, white space with walls that curve in such a way that it looks like you’re sort of floating in space and that it goes on forever. I’d actually never worked on a real one before (only a seamless backdrop) so that was kind of neat. The scenes that we shot were both school scenes, and they’re very austere, so the background works wonderfully for them. The first scene was a school gym class style scene, which I loved the hell out of. Added to the list of things I didn’t know before this trip: you’re supposed to wear regular underwear beneath the navy blue gym knickers. This was not what I would have expected, but it was cool with me. Anything that involves more underwear works for me! The panties that I wore underneath were vintage and very delicate. I’d never seen anything like them before, but I liked them right away.
|It’s hard to see the pattern, but it’s pretty 😛|
Like I said, the scene was very straight-forward. There wasn’t really much of any story: just me getting strapped in a very austere setting. This is something that I don’t do a lot of in the films that I tend to do in the US: things that are very to-the-point, and that point is me getting whacked. This stripped down nature, plus the fact that the scenes were shot in a dreamy, blank background made it feel like we’d simply stepped into one of my fantasies and I hadn’t bothered to make up the rest of the details, so they were left out.
It was awesome.
The next scene that we did was very similar: it was the same setting and same sort of situation, but this time, it was a school scene. While all the school girl stuff is a big fantasy for me, the English version of things has always held a very strong appeal. I got to wear a tie (which I’ve never gotten to do in an American school film) and I liked that quite a bit:
|This is a photo of me being pleased about my tie.|
The scene itself included me being bent over one of the desks from the school set and getting caned and precious little else, and it felt so potent because of that. One of the resulting images from it has become one of my favorite “Alex getting spanked” photos of all time:
It’s very much a photographic representation of that part of my kink. This was also the first time I had ever been caned in England: the first time I visited I was spanked plenty of times and hit with various objects, but I never got the cane. This event pleased me quite a bit: it just seems like something “right” to go to England and get beaten with a cane, like that’s something that every spanko bottom should get to do at least once in their lives. I’m also pleased that Paul was the person who gave me my first caning in England, as he’s gone on to become someone very special to me. Fortuitous how that worked out. 🙂
Once we finished that video, we then went on to shoot photosets, which is one of my favorite things to do. When I was just a consumer of spanking pornography, still photographs were the main thing that I was interested in. They feel artistic and creative, as well as open-ended in a way that lets the mind wander in delightful directions. Because I started out my modeling career simply being photographed, it’s also something that I feel more confident doing. We shot several sets, all on the infinity curve, because it was just that cool.
In one set, I got to wear an actual English nurse uniform (although I’m not sure if it’s modern or not? I’m somewhat confused on that). It’s super different from anything that I’ve ever seen in the U.S. Usually nurses just wear scrubs around here, and there’s nothing attractive about scrubs, at least to me. This involved leggings, though, and they were tight enough that you could see my underwear through them, which makes for a win in my book.
|Thank you for spanking me, Mr. Osborne!|
In another set, there was more caning, of course, because one can never have enough of that! Zoe had to help me with the “suspender belt” (garter belt) since I’d never really worn one before, but I discovered that I’m actually quite fond of them. Less pulling up stockings, more having something to frame my ass and make it look even rounder!
The next photo comes from a set which was cute and sweet, and which I like a ton. Pink bow + snuggly spankings = happy, contended Alex. Here is a photo to prove it:
|Whenever I see any one of these photos, I think “Oh! That one is my favorite!” until I get to the next one, which also becomes my favorite.|
The final set that we did at the end of the first day of filming involves me looking very young and sweet and Paul coming in to be all scary and terrifying. I kept insisting that he was a very bad man for beating such an innocent looking girl as myself. 😛
|Yeah, having the same problem, because this one is also my favorite.|
Once we finished shooting and we got everything cleaned up and packed away for the day, we drove to a small grocery store to get some supplies (read: alcohol) for the evening. Zoe once again demonstrated her very impressive patience when I wanted to get some chocolate but didn’t know what any of it was. She walked thru the entire candy aisle explaining things to me and helping me figure out what stuff I would like. She then bought me my first ever Easter Egg. Now, we obviously have Easter chocolate in the US, and we have a lot of candy that is shaped like eggs, but we don’t have the exact same thing as they do in England. In England, Easter Eggs are big, foil wrapped chocolate eggs with something interesting inside them, and I guess they’re sort of a tradition. Zoe and I got two, and some pink fizz (I think that the name of that is pretty self explanatory, right? Pink sparkling wine) and planned to have a picnic with them in our room later that night.
We then went to a restaurant near our hotel, where I had to take a very long time deliberating over what I wanted to eat again. I’d like to say that I got better at this as my time in England wore on, but I really didn’t. Even once I knew what I liked to eat, I still had to think about it for far longer than I should have. Dinner was very enjoyable, though. It mostly involved Paul, John, Zoe, the cameraman and I chatting about all sorts of industry related topics, including a lot of the history of the various sites that film in England. We stayed there for a long time, and I felt relaxed and happy. At one point, Zoe and I went to the restroom (in a pair, as girls do) and when she turned on the sink to wash her hands, she sprayed water all over herself. She then attempted to dry the front of her jeans using a hand dryer. I took a photo of this, because this is the kind of stuff that I absolutely dig about Zoe. She’s goofy and ridiculous and I simply cannot get enough of her.
After we finished at the restaurant, we walked over to a pub and had a few drinks. I will not say anything about anyone else (although John was pretty open on his blog about the fact that he his fair share to drink) but I was very responsible. It was also just a very nice time. I find going out for drinks in England to be more fun than it is in the US, but that may be because I live in South Dakota, where nothing is particularly exciting.
Once last call had been completed, we all wandered back to the hotel, where Zoe and I went on to eat chocolate and drink wine the pink fizz before falling asleep.
Morning came, of course, far earlier than I would have liked it to. Mornings are a real problem for me. I’m just not cut out for them. Sleeping until 1:00 makes me happiest. This is obviously by no means practical in any part of adult society, so I adapt and deal with it. But when Zoe’s alarm went off to summon us to breakfast, we unanimously decided to text the guys and let them know that we were going to sleep in. Besides, I didn’t want to see Breakfast Lady again, anyway.
We then returned to the cold… I mean, to the studio, where we began my fourth consecutive day of shooting, this time for Triple A. The day began on the infinity curve again, with a sort of straight forward, introductory spanking.
|Fun fact: that t-shirt is the one that I was wearing the very first time I got spanked, when I was eighteen. Nostalgia central!|
It was a pretty nice spanking, and a good way to warm up for the day, so I was pretty pleased with it. When that was filmed, we moved on to start shooting some POV scenes for John’s new site: POV Spanking. This stuff was a little bit more challenging to shoot, as it felt very unnatural to me. The idea of POV (point-of-view) is that it appears like the person watching the film is seeing what he would actually be seeing where he the one giving the spanking. This makes for a lot of non-traditional filming. I had to talk directly to the camera without hearing any lines back, and that just felt very awkward and difficult for me to time. I’ve been told that I did a pretty good job, though, so I hope that’s the case. We shot a number of these scenes, experimenting with different positions and implements, as well as filming styles. I urge you all to go check out the clips if that’s something that you’re interested in. 🙂
It’s getting late, so I’ll continue this story in the next post.
I’ve covered an entire day! Winner! 😛
When I last left off in the tale of my adventures overseas, I’d just been picked up at the airport upon my return to England from a brief stay in Holland. I’d been greeted by Paul Kennedy (of Northern Spanking) and Zoe Page (who is a different person than “Zoey” who has been mentioned in a few older posts). The three of us were going to go by car up to Derbyshire, where we were going to meet John Osborne and do two days of shooting: one for Northern and one for Triple A. It turns out that Zoe had been feeling sick earlier that day, but had gotten enough rest to feel up to coming along despite that. This was the first time that I’d ever really gotten to ride in a car in England, and I found that kind of excessively exciting. I was very aware of how different certain things were. I was pretty fascinated by this stuff, but I also tried to keep this at least somewhat under wraps: I didn’t want to be “that girl” who comes to a foreign country and marvels at every dumb little thing and annoys everyone around her. Still, I liked riding in the seat where I’m usually driving (they let me sit in the front ^_^) and noticing the different wording on signs and such things. I was particularly amused by a series of signs that listed the cities we were driving towards and included “THE NORTH.” I can’t exactly tell you why this made me giggle a lot, but it did.
We stopped at the first service area that we found to get something to eat, since I was pretty starved. I there encountered a minor problem: I didn’t know what the fuck most of the stuff on the menu was. I was a matter of things having different names combined with not being sure how similar food items would be to what I was used to. This lead to me asking about eighty questions, throughout which Paul and Zoe were surprisingly patient. I had originally been slightly intimidated by Zoe, since I had seen her be pretty terrifying on film before meeting her. I was glad to see that in real life, she was sweet and awesome, and my rival at being a goofball. We related on a few things and giggled quite a bit. Then we got ice cream, which is instant happiness for me. I was pretty happy with my life, and instead of feeling worried like I had upon my first arrival, I felt excited about whatever adventures were in store for me.
After dinner, we got back in the car and drove the rest of the way there. I discovered that I’m not fond of the roundabouts system: it makes me a little bit queasy. The ride didn’t seem too long to me, probably because I was very contented, even though I was much quieter than I usually am because I was still adapting to my surroundings. Eventually we arrived at the hotel where we would be staying for the next two nights: it was a small and quaint bed and breakfast. The caretaker greeted us and showed us to our rooms and then asked us some questions about breakfast. I basically just agreed to everything that she said, because I didn’t actually know what a “full” breakfast entailed and I didn’t want to look ignorant. Then we went up to get settled. Zoe and I were sharing a room, and I thought it was super cute, even though it was a bit cold.
|Zoe in our quaint little room 🙂|
They had left us a tea set which I found excessively adorable:
|In case you cannot tell from my lousy photo, the mugs have cats on them.|
We then went to meet John and chat in the other room. We talked about the studio where we’d be shooting, looked at some content that John had shot there previously on his computer and just chatted a bit while we had a glass of wine. I was wearing my bunny pajamas, which Paul pretty instantly decided he wanted to use for a film that we’d be doing the next day. This pleased me greatly, because I’m a little obsessed with my bunny pajamas. Eventually I got tired and Zoe and I retired to bed.
The next morning we got up and packed our things for the day, then met the guys downstairs for breakfast. We were a little bit late. That’s what happens with girls (read: Alex) in the mornings sometimes. :/ The woman who ran the B+B (who from this morning on was referred to as “breakfast lady”) brought out our plates. The plate was filled with stuff that I wasn’t really expecting. I ate all my meat and some toast, and then sort of picked at the rest of the stuff. Eating beans at breakfast wasn’t really all that appealing to me. There was a big pile of mushrooms on the plate, and I’m super-deadly-allergic to mushrooms, so I refused to eat anything they had touched out of fear of going into anaphylactic shock, which is generally not how I like to start my day. And since I hadn’t asked for anything otherwise during the conversation with breakfast lady where I agreed a lot, my eggs were served with uncooked yolks. I know that this is simply me being fussy, but I just won’t eat eggs that aren’t totally and entirely cooked. I’m tremendously stubborn, because I think they’re gross. Serious_Face once refused to let me get up from his table until I’d at least tried one, and I sat there petulantly for three hours until he gave up and beat me instead (still better than the eggs). Fortunately, no one at this table wanted to waste the entire morning watching me not eat, so we told breakfast lady that we were finished. She was not pleased with me, and gave me lots of dirty looks for not eating her breakfast. We all found this infinitely entertaining. After a quick visit with the fat, hotel cat named Monty and a brief incident in which John hit a trashcan with his car while trying to backup, we were on our way to the studio.
Once we arrived and unloaded at the studio, I became aware of it’s primary feature: it was cold. I don’t like to be cold. (Question: why do you live in South Dakota, then? Answer: have you seen how many things that I don’t like but do?) Fortunately, Zoe was basically the best ever and made me tea approximately every 20 minutes to keep me warm.
Once set up and makeup were completed, we got to filming the first scene. It was between me and Zoe and filmed on a stable set that included several bales of hay. This hay got everywhere, and it’s actually STILL in my hairbrush, but it looked awesome and was kind of fun to romp around in.
Filming with Zoe was interesting because most of the scenarios we were involved in were written so that we were peers and Zoe’s character wasn’t so much of an authority figure over me as she was just a bully. This was a fun and refreshing change of pace for me. Also, Zoe is really hot. And she’s very creative within a scene: I was immediately taken aback by how quickly she came up with ideas of new directions in which to take her bullying and bossing. Plus, she was great at spanking. This scene was actually my first riding crop scene (I’m pretty sure, anyway, and certainly my first on film) and I liked it quite a bit: stingy and whippy without feeling like any other implement, in particular.
The second scene that we did was similar in terms of character relationships: Zoe’s character was kind of an awful bitch and I was a goody-goody and a bit of a nerd. That obviously worked well for me, because that’s sort of me in real life :P. This was set in a school room, which made me very happy indeed.
The desks in the school set were covered in graffiti which kind of fascinated me, especially because a lot of it had slang on it which I didn’t recognize. I then got a vocabulary lesson on various ways to call people a slut in England. I also couldn’t help but add to the vandalism a little bit:
|Add that to the list of “bad things that I did and got away with!”|
And I added a little love for my bestie:
Our third scene was a very traditional and straight forward, bedtime punishment scene that Paul did with me. There isn’t actually anything that unique about it, but it’s probably my favorite scene that we shot that weekend (honestly, it’s probably among my favorite scenes I’ve done on film). This is because it appeals to a lot of things at the center of my kink. My character was genuinely a good girl, but she was clearly quite far out of line this time and had gotten herself into big trouble. There was a domestic setting and the inclusion of my cute pajamas, which are both good things in my book. The spanking was primarily OTK while on a bed, which is my personal favorite spanking position, and the more severe stuff which followed was given with me lying over pillows, which is a very familiar position for me, and one that I find very emotionally comfortable. And I got hit on my thighs.
|I stole this photo from John’s blog, because it’s awesome.|
All of this plus Paul’s attitude in the scene fostered a lot of vulnerability in me, and I just dove into it. I let myself get really worked up and I either cried a little or came very close to it (I don’t remember now). When it was finished, I felt very genuinely cozy.
|I’m possibly smiling more than I was supposed to be. 😛|
I know that I’m only half way thru a day of shooting, but I’m going to stop here and continue on in the next post, because I have approximately 87 things I need to do before I leave for BBW. So. Many. Adventures. More posting soon! ♥
Well, that last post was bracing, wasn’t it? Don’t worry: this one has adventures, spanking and photos in it. Whew!
On Tuesday night, I arrived in Holland, where I was picked up from the airport by Mike from Spanked in Uniform and Real Life Spankings. We chatted about various things, including what we’d be shooting in the next two days while we drove from the airport to the hotel where I’d be staying. This was a much more welcoming hotel than the last one had been: I found my room right away, the lights worked, the room was warm upon arrival and it had much more space. I got on the internet and talked to Malignus for a while, then took a long, relaxing bath. I got my things ready for the next day and then got a good night’s sleep.
The next morning, I got up and got ready, then Mike picked me up and brought me over to his studio. We started brainstorming about which scenes, exactly, we were going to shoot. I love dressing up, so shooting for a site whose whole point-of-concept was uniforms was a lot of fun for me. The first scene which we shot was for Real Life Spankings. It was a pretty straight forward scene (few details, as it is yet to be released) but I was surprise to discover just how hard Mike’s hand-spankings were. He fell into the rare camp of Tops whose hands hurt worse than many implements.
The next scene that we shot has been released, so I shall show you some photos. It’s for Spanked in Uniform‘s sub-series “Europe Airlines,” and features me as a stewardess, what else? I liked the pink outfit: quite girly and adorable. In the film, I’ve been caught trying to smuggle foodstuffs and alcohol back to the US, and get promptly spanked, and then paddled with a leather paddle.
|Alex Reynolds IN A CORNER? Now that’s just unnatural. 😛|
|And also, me.|
This is not always the best way to make friends. In this scene, though, it was fun (and kind of refreshing) to be so super good, although I can rest assured that if I were in an actual Military School environment, every other cadet would hate me and want horrible things to befall me.
I also liked the outfit that was worn for this series. The little hat was particularly enjoyable:
By the end of the day, I was basically toast. My bottom was sore in lots of different ways, but it mostly felt raw, and my skin was getting kind of hard and dried out. This was kind of intimidating for two reasons: the first being that I had three more consecutive days of shooting coming up. The second was the fact that I had dumped my lotion when trying to lighten my bag and that hotels in Europe don’t seem to give out as varied an assortment of toiletries as American hotels do. Still, I’m basically a champion when it comes to spanking stamina, and I had hardly a mark on me at the end of the day, so I wasn’t too overly concerned.
We packed up all the mean, awful things that I’d been getting hit with all day: 😀
|It’s an instrument that’s hard to play quietly.|
and then Mike and his lovely wife took me out to dinner at a restaurant which was bear themed. They didn’t even do this on purpose, either, but it was entirely perfect for me. There were bears everywhere, and I couldn’t stop staring at them.
I even took a photo in a bathroom that wasn’t of my butt reflecting in the mirror!
|I basically need this in my house.|
After dinner, I felt refreshed and relaxed and I went back to the hotel, where I soaked in the bath for a long time. Being a resourceful girl, I decided to apply some hair-mask to my butt to take the place of lotion. Please note that this isn’t a recommended “asscare” practice, but it worked in a pinch. Before too long, I had gotten tired and drifted off to sleep. ♥