Real Spankings

So, the first month of the year is very nearly over.
First, let’s have some news and updates from my spanking universe.
Basic stuff first:
I’ve been trying to revitalize my spanking news blog, Spanking Wishes, and I am currently posting something on it literally every day. Please go check it out, and give the corresponding twitter account a follow: @spankingwishes.

On the subject of social media, I have been keeping very active on my Tumblr and on Twitter: @spankingland.

I’m active on Fetlife in short bursts, but will be trying to spend more time on the site. I accept all friend requests there, so please feel free to send me one. I also still have a kinky Facebook page, but I’m on that even less frequently. While I have a lot of awesome friends that I primarily communicate with through that site, I also get a ton of sexual harassment over it. I get guys sending me pictures of their genitals on that site far more frequently than on any other. I get called a bitch for not wanting to spend lots of time chatting to total strangers about sex for free. I get people demanding that I give them videos for free because “we’re friends now since you added me on facebook!”

I quickly run out of steam for dealing with this stuff. So, I’ll keep trying, mostly because the spanking romance author community is primarily on facebook and I do want to get more involved in that again, but it’s a struggle for me. If you want to send me a friend request, feel free: just be aware that while I do not post photos that include nudity (including bare bottom photos) on facebook, I post explicitly about spanking pretty much all the time and post links to NSFW material.

The Spanking Awards are going on now, which is always an exciting time!
So far, voting has been opened up in 4 categories.

The first one is Best New Spankee. There were so many new spankees this year that were really amazing, and I’ll be giving a shoutout to a handful of them in a post over Spanking Wishes in the next couple of days (since that’s less about me and more about videos), but the selection in the voting is also awesome. I’m happy to see a bunch of my friends included! I’m particularly proud to see three performers who did their first ever spanking shoots with Paul and I for Northern Spanking in the voting. They’re also three of my favorite girls in general, since I’ve been lucky enough to build close friendships with a lot of the performers that we work with.

 

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So, I’m proud of you guys: Ava Nicole, Linny Lace and Nuna Starks! All three girls deserves awards for being adorable, hard working and taking lots of hard spankings. I love you guys! Plus, a big shout out to my friends Tai and Kenzie, who I haven’t gotten a chance to shoot yet, but really look forward to the day that I do! You girls all kick ass. So, go vote for one of these amazing ladies.

The next is Best New Top, which is a new category this year. I think I may have suggested this at some point, but I don’t know if I actually did or if I just thought about it. But either way, I’m glad that John added this category! Tops don’t get as much love in the spanking video world, to be honest, but we literally couldn’t make videos without them (or, we could just make self spanking, which would get boring really quickly). Plus, after having spent a lot of time on both sides of the the paddle in videos, I feel like it’s more important that a Top does an excellent job than almost any other person involved in video production. You have to be physically accurate and you need to be able to carry yourself with authority and have believable scolding going on. So, yes, love to Tops. Tops everywhere.

In this category, one of my favorite “new” Tops is up for voting: Princess Kelley May! I say “new” as Kelley has a ton of experience as a Top and had done a little bit of it on camera before her return to the screen, but she definitely made a splash when she came back after having been away for a long time. Plus, her shoot for Northern was her first time shooting for a membership site.

Anyway, Kelley is an absolutely great Top. I love the way she scolds and I love the way that she spanks. Besides, she’s totally gorgeous and always has PERFECT HAIR. I’ve been trying to get her to teach me her secrets for years but I think I’m just not destined to have perfect hair.

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The other lady I adore in this category is my girl Adriana Evans. As I mentioned in my previous post, Adriana and I have become very close in the past year or so. I love her so much and miss her all the time!

Adriana is also a great Top. I love being spanked by her, although our spanking play often ends up taking a somewhat different direction due to the nature of our relationship… 😉

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The next category is Best Facial Expression. I’ve come in the ranking for this before, but I’ve never won it and I would really love it if you would vote for me and make that happen! Think of all the times that I’ve had my face covered with tears and I’ve looked truly pitiful during a spanking. Think of how much eye cream I have to use because I’m always scrunching my face up in pain and agony and I don’t want to get fine lines out of control. Think of the fact that I’ve literally popped my jaw out of alignment because I was biting a pillow too hard when screaming and wailing. Screen Shot 2017-01-30 at 2.47.17 PM(The photo above is a screenshot from Spanking Blogg’s listing about me. You can’t actually click the links. I tried. It’s my own post. Siiiiiigh)

My campaign promises are more hard spankings producing more pathetic sad faces from me. I guarantee it.

The most recently opened category is Best Male Top. My most beloved, very favorite Top on Earth is up for voting in this category. Surprise, it’s Paul!

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Honestly, Paul deserves an award just for putting up with my massive amounts of nonsense on a daily basis. But he also does an absolutely fabulous job in videos. He gives hard spankings, he gives perfect canings, and he doesn’t have a gross ego about it. He’s just the best. You should vote for him. :3

So, that’s where we are so far with the Spanking Awards. Remember that you can vote once per device, so if you use the internet from your laptop, desktop, iPad and phone… then you can vote four time. Juuuuuuust saaaaying!

I’m going to start a second post that tells you about what else I’ve been up to this month, but I’ll finish this one with some upcoming news.

I’m going to be on the road a lot coming up!
I’m heading to the UK in the start of February. I’m sorry to tell you guys that this time, I am NOT going to be available for shoots and sessions while I’m abroad. I’m only actually going to be over there for six days, and it is my plan to spend as much of that time as possible just hanging out with my friends and having a much needed kick back.

That said, for those of you who want to do sessions with me in London or elsewhere in the UK, I’ll be over for an extended period of time in August. Make a preliminary mark on your calendars, and feel free to shoot me an email and inquire about details whenever it suits you. I’ll be available to both give and get hard spankings, plus I’ll likely be able to do 2-2-1’s with some of my lovely British friends, as well. But that’s a long way off. I just want to make sure you guys know that my choice not to work while I’m over this time isn’t a permanent change. I just kinda need a holiday. It’s going to be the best.

Later in February, I’ll be heading to Palm Springs for some fun and adventures. (I’m fully booked for my time there, but if enough people are interested in seeing me in that direction I could certainly come out again later one). I’ve never been there so there’s a lot of fun stuff I’m looking forward to seeing.

Then, near the end of the month, I’m heading to Vegas. I *am* taking bookings for both shoots and sessions while I’m there, so feel free to shoot me an email about that: alexinspankingland@gmail.com . I am going to see a bunch of friends and have an awesome time while I’m there and I’m just so excited.

And after that, I’m heading to Denver to get to see my dear and darling Amoni. Hopefully I can get her to photograph me again! And what’s a trip to Denver without a visit to one favorite spanking sites that I don’t run? I’ll be getting a bunch of spankings for Real Spankings and Real Spankings Institute while I’m there! If anyone would be interested in seeing me for sessions in that area, please let me know ASAP! I’d love to be able to get together with you during that visit. Email address is above.

So, that’s the basic news. Watch this space for more detailed information about what my life was like in January, coming soon!

Look at me, once again blogging! Surely this can’t be a result of a New Year’s Resolution, right? Just a coincidence? Of course.

I meant to write this post before the year turned, but as things worked out, I was actually away over New Year’s and it was pretty spectacular. I took one of my very rare non-working trips and got to hang out with some very special friends and get close to some new ones. But there’s time to talk about that in later posts (I know you don’t believe me, but I’ll prove it to you!)

For now, I want to talk about my ten favorite video scenes that I did in 2016. I haven’t blogged much at all this past year, so you haven’t necessarily heard about my shooting experiences. I decided that the criteria that I’d use would be scenes that were released in 2016, and that I’d limit myself to one scene per site, just to be fair and talk about a variety of experiences.

So, off we go!

1) Alex Reynolds: Dormitory Discipline, from Triple A Spanking.

So, this first scene that I’ve selected was very much not filmed in 2016. In fact, it’s from early 2013, and it might be the oldest scene of me that hadn’t been released yet.

 

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We filmed this scene the first time that I shot for Triple A, and the first time that I met John. Three years doesn’t seem like a good enough description of how long ago this feels. I remember this shoot very clearly because it was the second time that I ever met Paul: we shot for Northern Spanking (which I was very excited to be hired for as a model) for a first day, and then for Triple A the second.

This was during my second trip to the UK ever, and my first time going there since becoming a spanking model. This was in the time before ATVOD, and I had a very busy trip traveling around the UK (and visiting Holland) to shoot for a huge variety of sites. This tour was exhausting and it happened during a very uncertain time in my life, but it was also a wonderful time, because it was during this trip that Paul and I first got to know each other and fell in love. So, I was very excited to see something else from this set of memories resurface!

The scene itself is very fun, and includes my bottom getting very red indeed. It was the first time I was ever spanked with a carpet beater, and I still remember the unique way that it felt. It’s not heavy at all, but has a spread out sort of sting. Unusual.

Anyway, I’m willing to guess that it’s fun for you guys to see me when I was younger, as well, even if it doesn’t bring up all the same nostalgia!

2) Alex Spanks Tai from Clare Spanks Men

My second scene I’ve picked as a standout for me this year was my first time shooting for Clare Spanks Men. I was partnered with Tai Crimson, who is someone I had known over the internet for a little while and was really looking forward to meeting. Tai is a trans girl and she was playing a male character in this scene.

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I loved shooting this scene because this shoot was one where I really felt that I embraced my authority as a Top. Tai has a very high tolerance, so I was able to really go to town with the spanking and got to use some very mean implements. And look at her butt! A+++++
I’m very glad I got the chance to spank her.

This scene was fun: it was based on the idea that Tai and I had become step siblings because our moms had gotten married (a small detail that I appreciated, as it bucked the traditional hetero norms we see a lot in spanking porn, especially since no one treated it in an “OH MY GOD, LESBIANISM” kind of way) and I had taken it upon myself to get Tai to stop being so darn lazy and irresponsible. So very hard spankings were in order!

Honestly, if I had known half the things I know about Tai now then, I would have been a lot crueler. >:)

3) Providing Inspiration from Good Spanking

I picked this scene as a favorite of this year because it fell under the heading of “just a little too real!” The plot? I’m a writer who has a manuscript that she needs to finish, but all she’s doing is screwing around and playing video games. I don’t think that Chelsea (who runs Good Spanking) knew that I even have written spanking novels in the past when she came up with this scene idea, and she definitely didn’t know that it has been over a year since I finished one…

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When shooting this scene, I just thought it was funny and a bit uncanny that she came up with a scenario that was so close to my real life. I’m not as naughty as my character is, of course (I’m not writing because I’m traveling for sessions so often and working on Northern and other such projects most of the time instead of playing video games, and the character in the video had been paid in advance, which I am glad to say I was not, haha!) but still. I hope to get back on track with that, as well, in the New Year. It’s just a struggle, since there are so few hours in the day and so many things to do.

Well, in addition to my very real contrition, you get to enjoy my *very expressive spanking face* and see my bottom get nicely reddened. So we all win.

4) The Rematch from Real Spankings
(To be clear, this isn’t the real title of this video. I just don’t know what the real title actually is. If someone tells me, I’ll update it to be accurate. You can find this video pretty easily by selecting me as a model if you’re inside the members area of RS, though!)

So, this scene requires a little bit more backstory. A couple years ago, I was shooting for Real Spankings like I sometimes do. Whenever I do a shoot with RS, I really like to push myself to my limits in terms of pain tolerance. I really like and trust everyone at RS, and I particularly like to get spanked by Michael Masterson. Not “like” in a “oh, this feels nice” kind of way, but like in a “I feel safe to stop worrying about things and really delve into an intense scene and let that be immersive for me” kind of way.

So, when on this shoot a couple years ago, Michael told me that I could decide what we did for the last scene, I told him what I honestly wanted, instead of suggesting something light and playful. I wanted a really hard, no warm up spanking with a Vermont Country Store Bath Brush. I know, no sense of self preservation. The parameters of this scene were discussed, because this is obviously something very intense. In the rare situations where I feel comfortable to play this way, I like to be pushed to cry, so I decided that I would want to be spanked until I cried, and then “quite a while” after that. I came up with a safety signal, in case it went on too long and I truly couldn’t handle it. Then we did it.

I didn’t end up crying during that scene (sometimes, there’s just too much adrenaline for tears) and I didn’t use my safety signal. Michael decided to wrap the scene up because it had been a long day and his arm was tired. I’m not saying this in a bratty way: now that I Top a lot I know how freaking exhausting giving out spankings all day is. Sometimes my arm just can’t take it. And apparently it happens to even the very best of us. But holy wow, that was a hard spanking. I was literally sore for days afterwards. I wriggled and fought and had to be pinned down. It was not my most dignified moment.

Anyway, fast forward to July. I’m in Denver with Princess Kelley, Maddy Marks and Harley Havik, so we can shoot for Real Spankings. I’m happy to be back there, since it’s been a while, and I’m having a great time getting spanked with and by my friends. Plus, we got pizza for lunch and I got to pet Michael’s dog, so really, an all around awesome day.

We’re doing a lot of scenes since there are three bottoms on set, but it comes time for me to do my final scene in which I’m getting spanked that day, and once again, Mike lets me choose. And so, I do what any sane person would do in this situation: I suggest that we should have a rematch and do another scene with the exact same set of parameters as before. This time, to make things more interesting, Maddy and Harley were in the scene watching me be spanked (something which always makes my headspace more intense).

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I was already pretty sore from the scenes we had done earlier (including one that I’ll be discussing later) but holy wow, this spanking hurt. Do you ever get an idea which seems like a really wonderful idea in your head, and  then as soon as it becomes a reality, suddenly seems like it was really not clever? This is a problem that I have awfully frequently, although it usually involves listening to schemes from friends who are terrible influences on my good behavior (you know who you are). That kind of happened here, although not exactly. I got the level of intensity I very much wanted, I just got shocked by the reminder of how real and intense that is.

I was very in character as a teen girl with an attitude problem as this scene started, and I got very sassy to Michael. The plot was, essentially, that I had been told that I was grounded to the house, or that I could get a spanking. I was wanting to go out with my friends, Maddy and Harley, and I had hoped to get out of the house unnoticed, but Michael caught me and reminded me that if I wanted to go, I was going to have to be punished first. I got way more attitude than I ever would to anyone in my real life, then stormed off to get the bathbrush. I very quickly found myself over Mike’s knee, and then I felt the brush.

That thing just feels like little lightning strikes. It collided with me over and over, and once again, I lost all composure very, very quickly. I was struggling and wailing. Honestly, I was probably just screaming. It was the kind of crying out where my jaw hurt afterwards from me having held it open to make noise for so long. Absolutely zero dignity. But no tears.

I was in the middle of begging: “I’m sorry! I’m sorrrryyyyy! I’ll be good! I promise!” et cetera when very suddenly, the scene came to an end. I was really confused at first, especially because I was basically woozy with adrenaline and endorphins and I literally couldn’t think or walk straight right away. I thought that Michael had thought that I had done my safety signal. In fact, he had been keeping a careful eye on my skin and stopped it because he realized that it wasn’t going to hold up to anymore battery: something I really, really appreciate.

Anyway, to give a stopping point to this long tale, I had a great day, I got spanked really hard and got to push my limits in a way that I wanted to, and I didn’t lose a second time.

This just means that I have to do this again, doesn’t it? Or I can just accept not losing as being almost as good as winning? I’m actually shaking my head at myself.

5) Alex Reynold’s First Spanking Recreation at Spanked Sweeties
A lot of models shoot for Spanked Sweeties when they’re relatively new to the spanking scene, but it took me a long time to get around to it. The set up of their site is that girls are interviewed about their spanking interests and experiences, with a focus on memories of times that they may have been spanked or witnessed spankings. They then do scenes that act our and recreate the spankings that they got or witnessed. Because I didn’t really have any spanking memories until I became an adult, I had never really considered myself a candidate for this site. I was very happy when I found out from my friend The Camera Man who runs the site that they wanted to shoot with me for it, and that we could recreate my first consensual adult spanking experience for the video.

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We shot this scene on the same day that I shot with Tai, and she basically played the role of SF, my first ever Top (once again, she was playing a male character). This story is definitely an *adaptation* of my first spanking story. In reality there were about six months between me finding an implement hidden in SF’s drawer and my brining it up to him, and he spanked me OTK with his hand and I cried incredibly quickly (because that was like, the most emotional moment of my whole little life, finally getting my needs met for the first time). But those things aren’t the kind of thing you can really recreate, especially with people who are just meeting each other for the first time. And this scene is very good at capturing the mixed emotions behind my first experiences: relief, mixed with nervousness, mixed with excitement, mixed with pain!

I’ve decided that this post is getting *very* long, and it isn’t anywhere near being done yet, so I’m going to break it up into two sections. Stay tuned for part two!

Note: I went to start writing about my recent adventures and found that this post had been sitting as a nearly finished draft for a long time. I kept getting distracted from it! So, I’ve finished it. This post is slightly off topic and the latter half of it includes sexual themes and images of clothed female masturbation.

I’m not going to lie: I love wearing makeup. I don’t dislike the way that I look without it on. There’s something coy and girlish about my “working from home” look, which usually consists of me just dressed in a pair of panties and a t-shirt, working on my laptop. I don’t wear makeup when I’m not leaving the house or having someone over: I have a tendency to break out, and letting my skin “breathe” when I don’t need to be fancy helps that.

That said, I definitely prefer to wear a smattering of cosmetics. It’s a skill I’ve only recently really developed. I try to go for a natural look, but I do enjoy having doll like attributes, too. There’s nothing like being told that my skin looks like a porcelain doll, especially when just two years ago, despite my best efforts, I pretty much always looked ruddy and spotty in the face.

Still, I’m definitely not the type of girl who never leaves home without my makeup on. If I’m not in the mood for it, then I’m not in the mood for it. If I want to feel pretty and fancy, then it’s something fun to do that I can enjoy. It’s the same difference between picking out an outfit that makes me feel cute, or not caring if I look cute or not and just heading out in leggings and an oversized sweater. Both are perfectly legitimate options for me, depending on how I’m feeling that day. But there is one time when I feel like I’m *always* in the mood for makeup: when there’s a camera running.

Even in my early days of blogging and modeling, where I felt a lot more comfortable posting pictures where I wasn’t wearing any makeup and was highlighting my very bad skin (hey, at least acne made me look authentically adolescent, right?) on this site, I always did my best with my makeup when I was on camera. The fact that I wasn’t very good at it made me feeling less confident than I could have at times.

Once I learned how to do makeup a bit more, though, I started to feel more confident about the way that I looked in pictures and on video, and people seemed to respond better to my images, too. The fancier my makeup, the more confident I feel, too. While I once felt out of place and out of my element when I dressed up, I’ve started to revel in it, realizing that I didn’t have to act any differently just because I looked different.

 

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(A handful of selfies from a day when a makeup artist did my look, and I felt particularly cute)

 

Unfortunately, in a certain way, somewhere along the way, I crossed a Rubicon in this department. The confidence that I gain when I primp and powder became dependent on these this preparation in order to show up. The days when I would take and post a selfie to showcase a point simply wearing whatever I happened to have on, with my blotchy, unmade-up face on plain display are long gone. I post the occasional unmade-up pre-bedtime photo, but it’s rare.

I don’t really understand it, because I don’t feel uncute without makeup. If I’m willing to walk around the mall like this, why am I not willing to put it on the internet? Somewhere along the line, perhaps around the time when I began doing more explicit videos, intimacy began to be assigned differently. My naked body became something that everyone has seen. But, at least for the past few years, my naked face is something that’s been reserved for people who have spent real life, casual time around me. It’s the face that Paul looks at when we wake up in the morning. It’s the face that greets Rafa when I wander into his apartment so we can cuddle on the couch and watch movies. It’s the face that my girlfriend runs a loving finger across while we soak in bath together. It’s the face that Erica and Spankcake see when I’m feeling frazzled and I need them: the kind of days when one of us silently moves across the table to pull the other into a hug.

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Make up free wombat hugs!

 

Thinking about these kinds of moments, those tender, vulnerable, intimate moments, I realized that I usually do feel quite cute and pretty in those times. I feel clean and innocent, and yes, I feel sexy. Any kind of nudity can be enjoyable.

Thinking about this a while ago, I decided that I wanted to try doing a video without any makeup on. I wanted to try being nakedly myself on film, just to see how it felt. I decided that I wanted to film something in my most natural state.

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Last fall, Paul and I went on our first road trip together. We drove from Los Angeles to Green River Utah, where we spent a night before heading to Denver. We stayed for a few days there while I worked and we visited with Amoni, and then we got back in the car and drove to Iowa, through the corn fields and plains of the area where I used to live. We spent two nights there, and I did a day long shoot with a local bondage producer. From there, we continued on to Chicago, where we then attended the October Crimson Moon Party. It was a blast, and I didn’t feel too tired from all of the travel yet.

On the way back, we drove straight through to Denver in one go, and by then, I was starting to feel a bit worn by the trip, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Being in a car with someone for that long is very vulnerable: there’s no hiding any aspect of yourself in those close quarters, and you have to be patient with one and other. Fortunately, there was no tension between us. The trip went by harmoniously.

We visited a wild animal sanctuary outside of Denver, then we had an early night at a hotel. The next morning, I was going to go shoot for Real Spankings and RSI again, so I needed my rest.

The shoot the next day was one of my favorites that I ever did with them, but it was definitely hard. It started off with strapping, followed by a caning, and then a hard school paddling. I got a break to be a background character in one of Jordan’s scenes, and then she had to go home. When it was time to do the last scene, Michael Masterson told me that we could do whatever I wanted to.

I’d had a long week and a half of adventuring. I had been spanked countless times, in multiple cities and states, including plenty of hard scenes. But there was something special about this last scene I was going to do: it was the final thing that I had planned. I didn’t have to hold anything back for later. This could be a final expenditure of energy for me.

So, I didn’t hold anything back. I went into the “implement room” and came back with a Vermont Country Store bath brush and I asked for a long, hard, OTK spanking with it, one that would push me. I’ve done a lot of hard scenes with Michael in the past, and I trust him both to bring me to a place I want to go and not to bring me too far from where I should be. We negotiated my safety signal (since this works better for me than a safeword) and the scene started.

It was super hard, and super fast: I struggled and wailed and cried out as Michael pinned my hand behind my back. It was everything I wanted it to be. I felt sore and exhausted when it was done, but happy and satisfied with myself.

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When the shoot was over and I had finished fussing over the Real Spankings cats, I met up with Paul and we had to hit the road: we wanted to drive as far as Utah that night. I dropped a little bit at one point, but Paul boosted me back up, and seeing big horn sheep in the mountains made me stay alert. We drove until we reached Green River again, then checked into the same motel where we had stayed on the way there.

That night, I slept very soundly, although I must admit that I slept on my tummy. My bottom was still very sore to the touch, and I was exhausted.

I woke up the next morning still feeling sore, but as is often the case, feeling horny as well. It was a particular kind of horniness that I get sometimes, usually after I’ve been doing a lot of shoots: exhibitionist horniness. Paul was already up and dressed, so when he came back in from having been outside looking at the Utah landscape (something quite alien to anything you’ll see in the UK) I told him that I wanted to film a video.

Honestly, I think I decided that I wanted to do a no makeup video that morning because I was too lazy to really get put together, but still wanted to film. Besides, I felt cozy and contented. I had gone to sleep in my favorite old, soft t-shirt and pair of panties, without bothering to take off my tall socks from the day before. Paul set up the camera and I didn’t do anything more to get ready than run my fingers through my hair.

So, I started to masturbate, the way I would if there was no camera there, mixing fingering myself through my panties with some pillow humping. I felt a flush of invigoration, knowing that I was being observed in this natural state. I didn’t worry about being judged, or not looking the way that I “should.” I just existed, vulnerable and fine with that.

Later, I looked at the stills that we had taken after the video and it felt a little odd to see, now that I was out of that moment. I had pulled the gaudy, motel bedspread and the sheets out of place in my passion, and my bottom was a mixture of bruises, cane welts and lines from where I’d slept. My hair was a mess, and without makeup, my face really showed how flushed I become with arousal.

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I wasn’t used to seeing myself look this way in an image online, instead of the mirror as I sleepily got ready for the day. I felt a bit shy to share this, but it also felt like something special. Like, despite the fact that I never undressed in the video, I was truly being naked on the internet again.

I’m not going to make a habit of doing this sort of thing, but it was a fun boundary to push. That’s not to say that I’ll never do it again. Want to see me at my most vulnerable? You can get the video here.

 

I’m posting this eleven days late. This potential “didn’t post to my blog as I should” punishment is probably growing. I’m going to take a moment to talk about the phenomenon of me not posting very often. In 2013, I rarely blogged as often as I wanted to, and my posts often had more than a month of lag between the event and the write-up. This has been a constant source of frustration for me, as I would like to be able to sit down and write and then post things. There are a couple of reasons why this became a trend. The first is that in 2013, I was away from home 66 percent of the year, and it wasn’t until I moved into my new house here in Los Angeles that I was ever home for more than two weeks straight without traveling. I have a hard time blogging when I’m on the road, as I often am either very busy with shoots or trying to squeeze in as much socializing as is possible. Because I was never home for very long, though, this meant that it became impossible for me to get caught up on things, which lead to me feeling frustrated and disappointed in myself, which actually isn’t a useful emotional place for me to be in and accomplish things.

The second reason is because there were parts of this year which were very difficult for me. It was the epitome of a transition period. I firmly believe that when it comes to putting things out there on the internet, if you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all. During these times of stress and instability (or the depression that I fell into when Malignus first broke up with me, for example) it was hard for me to have anything worth putting on the internet to say.

The final reason why blogging hasn’t happened as much is because I’m sometimes very naughty and play too much Pokemon instead of doing my writing like a good girl. This is the reason why I need beatings. ^_^!

The other circumstances will hopefully be mitigated in the coming year (and obviously my naughtiness will be totally and entirely corrected and never be a problem again, right? That’s how spanking works? :P). I intend to spend much more time close to home. I love everything about where I live: my house, my cats, my local friends, the people I get to work with, the places I get to go, the proximity to Disneyland and, of course, being at home (most of the time) with someone I love. I’ll still travel quite a bit, especially to national parties, and I’ll likely continue to visit Denver and Dallas as regularly as I can manage (they’re filled with some favorite friends, producers and clients!) but in general, the travel craziness will be toned down.

So, with this out of the way, it’s time to remember some fun things which happened in 2013! Onward! [Please note that some of these stories contain ellipses. These are real ellipses, showing that text has been omitted in between those words to keep each story brief and readable, not punk ass “I dunno how to finish a thought” type ellipses. Kthnx.
January:

One of my fonder memories from January was visiting Amoni in Denver, where I did my second shoot for Real Spankings. I described the final scene I filmed that day like this:

When we were discussing these last two sets, it was up to me whether I wanted to do them with my jeans on or not. For the first one, I decided to do it on the bare because cane lines always look great, and because at this point in my life, it feels kind of unnatural to get spanked over clothing since baring is nearly always a part of my spanking ritual, unless it’s something extremely impromptu or it’s part of a mind-game. Shortly after we finished filming the caning sequence, I went to get changed to do the paddling one. I had originally said that I would take the paddle swats over my jeans, but I changed my mind at the last minute. My butt was sore, sure, but I wasn’t dying. I was really enjoying getting spanked, and I really wanted to feel the spanking I’d be getting that day.

After the interview, when it came time to actually take my jeans down, I felt a little apprehensive about my decision. It’s funny how the closer a spanking gets, the scarier it becomes. But I reminded myself that this was all my choice and I wanted it to be hard and got them down.

It was hard.

I got ten swats with the paddle, and each of them made me rise up on my toes, cry out, and contort my face in pain. After the seventh, I asked for a moment to catch my breath. I took a second to just breathe as Danny gently rubbed my bottom. I felt safe and secure, and relaxed myself again, stuck my bottom back out and took the final three swats.

When it was done, I had quite a mix of adrenaline and endorphins and a very sore bottom. That, my friends, is the ideal way to end a work day. 🙂

In January I also spent a lot of time with a girl who I was involved with at the time (and still care greatly about) called Panda, I was in Sioux Falls, and it snowed. I hate the snow if I have to deal with it for more than about fifteen minutes. In retrospect, January was very much like the year before it, although the rest of 2013 was really not.

February:

In February, I was a busy girl. I spent the first couple of weeks in Sioux Falls, but then took off for the start of a whirlwind adventure which changed my life forever! I left to go to Los Angeles, where I visited Rafa, Zeki, Christy Cutie and Maddy Marks, went to parties, did shoots, worked on projects and ate delicious food. From LA, I flew to Las Vegas for the private party now called “50 Freaks,” where I had a remarkable time and got spanked quite a bit! On the last day of the party, Robert Wolf and Lily Starr took me to the airport, where I departed for my month long adventure in England. I had one of my favorite scenes of all time while I was in Las Vegas, with Richard Windsor. We built the energy for the scene up over the course of months, with internet bratting and scolding voice recordings which left me a  (happily!) quivering mess. Here’s the meat of that story:

Richard had positioned me over a barstool … I was given a piece of paper which read “MR. WINDSOR IS NOT A LITTLE BITCH” which I was to recite after each stroke. … The first stroke made me gasp and whimper. I had trouble getting my voice in order to speak to read the sentence. I think I may have actually moved my mouth without any sound coming out, like trying to bring myself to wake someone sleeping in a dark room when my mind believes that it is necessary to be entirely quiet.

“Mr. Windsor is not a little bitch,” I managed. The cane landed again, in a hot, stinging stroke. Again, I repeated the sentence. On the third stroke, I had a moment of fear when I realized that I was only a quarter of the way done with the caning. Just like the hallway had before, twelve strokes seemed impossibly long. The scene had gotten into some deep part of my brain and had twisted my senses of time and distance. It felt like a very long time before the next stroke.Sometimes, I would rush the sentence out quickly. Others, I would whimper and wail a bit, catch my breath, move my feet and then whisper. At one point, I apologized, but I was firmly reminded that it was not the time for that. When I finally read the sentence for the last time and received my final stroke, I felt like I had been in the scene for ages, when in reality, I can’t imagine that it took more than ten minutes between the first and last stroke. Each one had been memorable, though: they cut, they bit, they slashed, they buzzed and itched and chewed at me.

March:

March was one of the most adventure filled months of my whole little life. I arrived in England on the first and returned the the US on the 30th. I had a disastrous start to my trip, but things quickly picked up and became delightful. After spending less than a day in country, I flew to Holland, where I did two days of shooting for Spanked in Uniform and Real Life Spanking. From there, I flew back to England where I was collected by Paul to go to location where we were joined by John Osborne (“The Chief”) for another two days of shooting: one for Northern Spanking and one for Triple A Spanking. This was the second time I ever met Paul, having shot for him briefly at Shadowlane the year before. I was stressed out beyond belief during my first few days of travel, and I was deeply afraid to be in places where I knew no one, and where I felt fundamentally alone. I don’t have an explanation for this, and it this isn’t something that I retroactively wrote onto my memory because I remember thinking it to be very strange at the time, but as soon as I saw Paul waiting for me from across the baggage claim, I felt secure. It turns out that wasn’t just a fleeting feeling and wasn’t just my relief at seeing a face that I recognized. It’s a feeling of security which, very soon after this, became a permanent part of my life.

We spent two days doing our shoots. I got spanked by Paul for the first time, and several times after that: despite my somewhat frazzled state at the time, I was very aware of just how well we connected, even when our scenes were for films. When shooting was done, due to difficulties (I was originally meant to stay with SF while in England, but his infant daughter passed away during my first week in the country which changed things a great deal) I ended up staying with Paul for two days, during which time we played as much as possible and pretty much spent the rest of the time cuddling. It was magical.

 From there, I went to stay with Pandora Blake for over a week, where we had lots of fun spanking adventures, deep conversations and much more cuddling. I also spent about half the visit following around and harassing her cat, Fatface. Observe this passage describing my feelings:

Fatface is a big, beautiful cat. She’s fluffy and mostly white, and most of the time, she gives zero fucks about what those weird humans are doing around her. The characteristics that make me like her more than the average cat (which I already like a lot) are as follows:

1) Fluffiness. 2) Passivity. 3) Facial expressions suggesting dissatisfaction with human company. 4) Adorable cat food (or “biscuits” as they are referred to in England) seeking behavior. 5) Fat. 6) Everything. 

Yep, I’m still obsessed with Fatface: enough that I considered her enough of a highlight of my year to include in this post. Anyway, In addition to doing two more days of shooting during this portion of my visit (one for Dreams of Spanking and one for Nimue’s World) I spent a lot of time playing off-camera with Pandora:

That evening, Pandora and I somehow ended up in a competition to see who could finish posting to their blog first, which aided me quite a bit in actually getting this stuff done. Pandora, however, finished her post just slightly before I did. “I beat you to posting!” she said, “Now, I’m going to beat you in real life!”

The setting of additional rules to a competition after it’s already been completed like that is tremendously unfair. When I have a certain kind of energy with someone, though, I find unfairness delightful…

Pandora offered me a warmup, which I gladly accepted, and then put me over her lap and spanked me with her hand. It had been a long time since I was spanked by Pandora, and I was glad it was happening again. I don’t feel entirely submissive towards her, so to speak, but I do feel passive towards her in play, and I enjoy her receiving her Toppiness, and I was very comfortable with her occupying Boss-space for the moment … It felt sort of invigorating and exciting to be getting spanked by her. Once I was thoroughly warm, she directed me up onto her sofa for a whacking with a fairly big, leather paddle. I cuddled up to her stuffed dog, Fred, who is known as “Drop Dog” due to his ability to drop onto your head. “Comfort her well, Drop Dog!” Pandora instructed, “she’s going to need it!” (I liked that quite a bit, too). She gave me a spanking that was neither severe nor serious, but still hurt enough, and put me in a giggly, happy, nicely spanked mood.

 Our visit was wonderful, I loved both of the shoots that we did, and I was happy to get to meet some additional awesome people like Nimue Allen, Thomas Cameron and D. When visiting time was over, Paul came to get me and I went and stayed with him for the rest of my visit. This time was laid back and extremely enjoyable. I did another day’s shooting for Northern Spanking and, just before I had to leave to go back, a day for Bars and Stripes.

Leaving to go back to America was incredibly hard for me. I had, sort of unbeknownst to me, fallen into a depression in Sioux Falls over the months leading up to my trip, and while I had been in England I realized this, because I felt like myself for the first time in a long time. I felt excitable and happy and vibrant. I didn’t want that feeling to be over. I had also grown very attached to Paul, and the thought of leaving him made my heart hurt. But all things end, and my trip ended just as the month did.

April:

April was primarily spent trying to adapt back to my life at home in Sioux Falls, although I did steal away to NYC to visit friends and do a few shoots, and to Atlantic City for Boardwalk Badness Weekend. Boardwalk was an action-packed tour-de-force of spanking, including my first time getting spanked on a boat. Another significant “first” happened at that party: my first hand tawsing experience:

Mr. Allen instructed me regarding how to position my hands, then he said:

“This is going to hurt very, very much. Don’t move your hand.”

There’s nothing like telling me that something is going to hurt to get into my head. Such a simple thing, usually the honest truth, but I have almost no defense against it. It melts my toughness. My heart pounded and pounded. Then Mr. Allen raised the tawse and brought it down on my palm.

Then I exploded.

Or so I felt. I at least screamed a little.  I had never, ever, ever felt something that hurt so much. Not the longest, hardest caning in my history. Not a heavy ebony hairbrush on my thighs. Not being smacked on the tender areas near the backs of my knees. Nothing hurt like this. It was nauseating.  It was disorienting. I don’t remember moving, but I discovered that I had my hand clutched between my thighs, because it was the sort of pain that I simply had to apply pressure to. There was no other choice. Holy. Fuck. I trembled.

“Other hand,” Mr. Allen instructed. I looked up at him pleadingly, but he had a stern and serious face. That confidence and his unbending nature comforted me, pacifying me enough to stand up straight again and put my other hand out. I forced it as far away from my body as I could, looking away to avert my eyes from what was going to happen.

Pain.

That’s what happened. I crumbled, sort of bent in half, rocking and rubbing my aching, burning, terribly sore hands together. I knew that there was a crowd of people around, that we were playing in a suite, but I wasn’t aware of anything around me. Just the hurting. It was all that my mind could process. I didn’t even feel entirely control of the parts of my body that I normally am, unsure of how to breathe or move my muscles.

“I can’t take two more,” I told Mr. Allen. This was huge. I’m horribly proud. It’s rare for me to beg, to protest, or try to get out of something. I am, after all, the kind of girl who intentionally gets herself into situations like this. But here, I felt that I had met my match. This hurt too much. I wasn’t tough enough for two more. I just couldn’t. There was no way. I shook my head, tears soaking down my face and gathering on my sweater.

“You can and you will,” Mr. Allen told me. “You’re going to. Put your hand out.”

I wanted to protest more. I couldn’t. I might die. I might *actually* explode. My hands might come off. I was entirely beyond rationality. Instead, I felt comforted by his statement, and my panic started to fade. I felt the tranquility of being out of control, feelings of comfort in the inevitable that Malignus had taught me to embrace long ago. I could do this. I could.

I put my first hand out again. It already felt about twice it’s usual size. I closed my eyes and tried to relax into what was going to happen. I shrieked anyway, quickly devolving into sobs again.

Somehow, I got my other hand up without having to be coaxed, with Mr. Allen praised me for before bringing the tawse down the last time. This one felt like the worst one, both my hands swollen and red and sore, my world illuminated with a white strike of agony. I fell to my knees with both hands clutched between my thighs, trying to press the hurt out of them, trying to squeeze them back to feeling their normal size. I was concerned for a moment that I might throw up, but I recovered remarkably quickly as a powerful, almighty rush of endorphins came and took me over. Mr. Allen went away for a moment and returned with a bowl of ice. I buried my hands in it, and I felt infinitely better.

“You took that well,” he said as he comforted me. I laughed.

“No, I really didn’t.” I think it was the least well I had ever taken anything.

“Well, you took it. That’s something,” he said with a supportive smile.

This post is too long to begin with, so I shall break it into thirds. Next third coming tomorrow. 

Following my trip to Texas and about a week of downtime in South Dakota, I took off for Denver. This was the start of a series of ridiculously wonderful adventures and I’m very glad to be sharing them now! I arrived in Denver with the plan to visit with Amoni for a while (and of course take photos together) and shoot for Real Spankings before heading off to a cabin with Paul for over two weeks of alone time. Amoni got me from the airport and we had a series of nice adventures together, including but not limited to attending a Scarlet Moons spanking party for an evening, jumping on her trampoline (is this a theme? Yes, yes it is) and a delightful photo shoot.

The night before my Real Spankings shoot, I was feeling a little bit nervous. I’ve shot with them two other times before, and had a wonderful, if very painful experience both times. The first time, I was topped by Betty Blaze for all of my scenes. This was very comfortable for me, because we got along well right away and I felt like it was easy for me to be myself around her. I felt a bit nervous when I had to do clips that involved me being interviewed on camera because that’s not my strongest suit, but the actual spankings were really fun and enjoyable to film.

One of my first RSI scenes. This hurt and was very sore after, but the scene was really immersive and fun to film!

The second day that I filmed it was with Danny Creighton topping me. I’d met and hung out with Danny before, and we’d played at a Scarlet Moons party a few months before that, so I felt very at ease being spanked by him. The details of that shoot are in this post, but it was both fun and challenging, since I did the “School Swats” and “School Strokes” series and those were both quite hard spankings.

From my second shoot.

The shoot that I was getting ready for was going to be with Michael Masterson. I’d never met him before, and I’d been told by everyone who had worked with him that he was very nice and personable. He’d also been very friendly towards me on the internet. That said, I was pretty intimidated. I’d been watching him spank girls crazy hard for… years. It’s also always a bit weird for me when I meet someone in real life who I had been aware of on the internet for a long time. I feel kind of shy and self conscious around them. This was at it’s most severe when I first met Paul, because I’d had an internet crush on him for a long time (sidenote: yes, I realize that my current situation is one that people usually don’t get to have. Luckiest girl on the internet, right here!) so I was extremely shy around him and kept sort of looking at the floor and talking in a quiet voice. With Michael, I felt pretty confident about the idea of meeting him and talking to him, but I was a bit jittery at the thought of being spanked by him. During the time in my life where marking and obvious severity were important to me in the content that I viewed, I’d looked at a lot of his work because it really satisfied those requirements. I’d seen countless girls reduced to tears by him over the years. Was I next?

When I arrived at the filming location, I was full of nervous energy. We hadn’t really planned out any shoot ideas in advance, but I knew we were going to do four scenes, split between the two sites. I came into the house and saw Betty, who I’m always happy to see. She’s friendly and fun, and I really enjoy being around her at shoots. Then I met Michael, who was very friendly and personable. I hope I didn’t act too nervous as we sat on the sofas and chatted, so he could get to know me a little bit. I talked about other shoots I’d done, and my personal preferences. At one point, he mentioned how he’s always had trouble finding other good Tops for the site.

“Oh yeah, I remember you writing that on your blog in like, 2005.” I said. I *did* remember that. Michael’s blog was one of the first ones that I followed (along with spanking blog and Adele Haze’s blog. I don’t know why those three were the ones I got into, I just found them and started reading :D) and I distinctly remember the post in which he discussed what it took to be a good Top on film and how difficult it was to find people who fit those requirements.

I think Michael was pretty surprised that not only was I very familiar with his sites and all the content that they’d done over the years but that I was able to remember details from eight year old blog posts. I worried that this made me creepy, but I know that personally I find it very complimentary when people can converse with me in a way that makes it obvious that they actually read what I write, so I hoped he took it the same way.

We then started talking about what my limitations in terms of what I’d want to do were. I felt pretty open for anything, but I was honest about one thing that was important to me. “I’d rather do my most severe scene OTK, since that position makes it much easier for me to take something hard.” Real Spankings does a lot of bent over positions, even lunge position type spankings and if I’m getting spanked particularly hard, I start to be afraid that I’m going to fall over in these poses. I *can* take hard spankings in these positions, but if I don’t have to focus on holding myself up, I feel more vulnerable and safe and react better. Michael asked me what kind of thing I was thinking of. “I could go for a hard spanking with a hairbrush or something like that,” I suggested.

Masterson was obviously pleased by this suggestion. Apparently a lot of girls don’t just show up and ask for hard hairbrush spankings. I do! That kind of scene is very core to my kink, and I love it when I can do videos that embrace the things that are very “me” like that. The fact that we decided to do that as a school girl scene made it even better.

We then got on to doing our first two scenes. They’re for Real Spankings.com (not RSI) and haven’t been released yet. The first one was a pretty long and hard hand spanking scene. I felt a bit nervous as we started, but the scene was straight forward and moved very quickly into the spanking, and as soon as it started, I felt calmer. It was hard, and certainly not playful, but it felt quite comfortably within my tolerance, and I appreciated the fact that he wasn’t trying to intimidate me right out the door and was obviously concerned about my emotional comfort, not just with making a great scene. This felt very mentally good, and I took the rest of the spanking in a good headspace.

The second scene was immediately following the first, as it was a “part two” in the same story. In this scene, I got belted. I used to be kind of fearful of belts, but the more I get spanked with them, the more I’ve come to find that they fit very nicely into certain parts of my kink. They’re very traditionally masculine, and I like the use of everyday objects for violent purposes :D. For this scene, I was bent over the bed and I tried my best not to move from my position too much. The belt hurt, though. Lots and lots. I cried out and struggled a little bit, but again, I felt very secure throughout the entire scene.

We took a bit of a break after that, and then moved to doing the Real Spankings Institute scenes. The first one of these was a strapping scene where I was bent over and holding onto the railing in the hallway. I liked the very public and on-the-spot nature of the scene. The strap hurt plenty, too. It carried a lot more weight than the belt had, and each stroke made me jut forward a bit and whimper or cry out.

My bottom is red and my face is concerned. 🙂

This scene had a somewhat longer spanking, although again it got to the action pretty quickly. My character was a little bit sulky about what was happening to her. It’s very unfair being me sometimes!

Sore!

I was impressed with Michael’s technical finesse, although it makes sense, since he’s been doing this for a long time. My bottom was covered in a box of red, without any strokes deviating from where they should have been. Perfect coverage and a lot of soreness.

We went on to film the final scene immediately after this one, pretty much. The idea was that in the first scene, The Dean had come to get me to strap me because I’d gotten in trouble by the Head Girl earlier in the day and he had warned me that if I had to be punished again that week, it would be severe before sending me off to class. I suppose I just sat in my room and pouted for a little while, because I then realized that I was late for class and came thundering down the staircase. This meant running in actual corridors with carrying schoolbooks. Fun. I wish I could do that all the time! (I suppose I could just do this in my apartment, but that’s not very fun.)


The Dean, of course, caught me, and was impressed with my incorrigibility (thanks, so am I! It’s a talent, getting into so much trouble) since he had just spanked me in the hallway a few minutes before. He asked me why I was late and I responded with “It’s your fault, because you were spanking me!”

Not my best plan. I was quickly lead into the lounge, where he returned with a brush. This was no ordinary hairbrush, but a Vermont Country Store bathbrush. If you aren’t familiar, it’s basically a legendary implement because it hurts. A lot. It’s a very unforgiving wood, and it has a fairly long handle for the size of the spanking surface, which means that it gets a lot of momentum and then throws that all down over a small area. Michael warned me in advance that it’s the kind of thing that when used as hard as he was going to (gulp) would often leave a girl particularly bruised. I wasn’t worried about this. Between the amount of spanking that I get on a regular basis, my skin care regime and the foods that I make sure I include in my diet, my butt rarely ever meets it’s match anymore, and while things hurt like hell still, I never really end up looking damaged.

Michael put me over his lap and started to spank me with the brush, scolding me about my irresponsibility and attitude. The brush was tremendously painful. It was blinding, clarifying pain: the kind of thing where I simply can’t think about anything else. I just existed in that moment, with my white panties down around my knees and my bottom pushed up where it was most accessible to that horrible brush which collided with me again and again and again. I wailed and my face contorted with pain. I struggled a bit, throwing my hand back. Masterson caught it and held it firmly, and this pacified me a bit as the spanking continued. It was horribly wonderful. I felt sore and swollen and my flesh was burning hot by the time that it was finished. My throat hurt from wailing so much. It was exactly the kind of scene that I had wanted.

After I caught my breath from this last scene, I felt very pleased with myself. In a way, it had been just as severe as I had been worried it would have been, but this hadn’t been a hinderance to me. It was hardly even a challenge. It was delightful to engage in such a tough scene. I was full of endorphins and adrenaline, and felt on cloud nine. I did it! I took it and took it well. 😀

Once I had done my paperwork, Amoni got to come in and view the sets and meet everyone, which was very exciting for her, since she’s also a fan of the sites. I excitedly told her all about the spankings I had gotten and showed her my butt.

It hurt to sit in the car on the way back to our friends’ house were we were going to hang out. I squirmed in the seat a bit. Once we did get back, Amoni gave me a long lotion rub to soothe my skin and help me to calm down from my jittery excitement. She’s a very good friend.

It’s shiny from lotion, but basically magenta colored. See? No real bruising! 😀

I’m very happy with the way that this shoot went, and I think that the videos are great. You should probably go check them out. I can’t wait until I get to go shoot for them again: I’m hoping to maybe get out in that direction again before the end of the summer. We’ll see.

I know I haven’t been posting as often as I usually do, recently. This is largely due to the fact that I’ve been going out of town (but still in my general area) nearly every day and it’s been throwing off my usual schedule. Still, I know I’ve been a bad blogger, so please forgive me! 

I’ve had a few things happen recently that have made me think about baring. The thought process started when I was filming for Real Spankings recently. It was up to me if I wanted to take my caning and paddling on the bare or over my jeans. It was one of those choices that wasn’t hard to make, but was hard to admit to myself. I knew that I wanted both of them to be on the bare from the moment that I was given the choice. I just spent a long time stewing over this before finally admitting it.

It is a counter intuitive thing to want, really. Why would I rather be spanked in a way that offers less protection? It got me thinking. The truth is, baring is a very important part of the ritual of a spanking for me, and it is one of the things that makes a spanking feel “real” to me.

Me being paddled by Danny for “School Swats” on Realspankings.com

At home, when Malignus is going to spank me, I’m usually expected to get into position without being directly told. At this point in our D/s relationship, a considerable amount can be communicated silently, and hesitation is usually met with just “the look.” Part of getting into position involves baring. It’s not something we ever talk about. It just happens. A couple of times, he’s started spontaneously spanking me and has sort of pulled me into position and pulled my panties down rather roughly before continuing, but that’s certainly the exception. This works for me, especially in our relationship. I think that part of the reason why I like baring is because it makes me more vulnerable and it’s usually something which I do myself. This makes it part of my active submission, and helps a great deal towards my acceptance of a spanking.

In other scenes, though, I can really enjoy having my panties pulled down for me. In a scene that was recently released on Northern Spanking, there are a few shots of Stephen Lewis pulling my panties up to expose my sit spots first, and then down to spank me entirely bare. They’re some of my favorite spanking photos of myself now. Something about the way in which he’s pulling the fabric puts me right back into that headspace, and I can feel the sudden rush of vulnerability that comes from realizing that my panties are coming down. Every time I look at these, I shiver with delightful fear:

Me being spanked by Stephen Lewis, from Northernspanking. 

At parties, I often play with my panties still on, especially with people that I don’t know. This is because I don’t necessarily want a spanking to hit all my buttons when I’m just getting to know someone. I need to have trust in order to have vulnerability. I need to have a reason to feel safe with a spanking that feels very real and intense. It’s not a rule that I always want it this way all the time.

It’s funny: despite all the things I’ve written about on this blog, all the videos I’ve done and all the experiences I’ve had, this is the post that has been the hardest for me to write. It makes me squirm a little. It makes my tummy feel a bit funny. It hits on something very key to my spanking experience, and makes me blush a little, sort of the way that I still have trouble saying the phrase “bare bottom spanking” aloud sometimes. There’s something a bit cute about that shyness, I guess, but it does make me a little bit awkward. As a result, this post will be shorter than usual, but will have taken me over twice as long to write. C’est la vie.

What are your thoughts on baring? Is it an integral part of your kink? Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you associate it with intimacy? Am I the only one who finds it slightly embarrassing to talk about? I want to know. 

Since I recently shot my School Strokes interview at Real Spankings, I uploaded a couple of the photos to my Fetlife profile. I tend to do this: I like to show off what I’ve been up to, and I get to direct attention towards the awesome companies that I’m lucky enough to work with.

The inclusion of these caning photos sparked a small conversation: do I like being caned or not? I gave the shortest answer I could possibly give, since this conversation was being conducted via photo comments: “I have a love/hate relationship with the cane.” I guess this didn’t answer people’s questions. I got several private messages asking me to explain what, exactly, that means. I’m choosing to do so here. 🙂


For one thing, caning is a lower proximity activity than an OTK spanking and is therefore less comforting to me. This is not to say that it is uncomfortable. It just doesn’t carry the same warm, safe feeling that being OTK gives me. Caning also has trouble escaping its formal roots, and it doesn’t lend itself to being relaxing because of this. These things place caning farther away from the circle of comfort for me and therefore, for more intense caning scenes, requires a greater amount of trust in my partner.

There’s also the fact that caning lends itself well to intensity and, even when not done severely, it is usually paced in a way that feels concentrated and deliberate. The pacing does a lot for me. It makes each stroke very significant. It slows the world down, and can make a time frame of less than a minute in which six strokes are delivered feel like a very long time.

Canes hurt in a very unique way. They tend to build. A few seconds after the initial impact, there’s that second, deeper pain. Individual strokes feel like pinching or biting combined with a bit of a punch instead of the traditional stinging, swatting, burning feeling of small headed implements like hairbrushes or wooden spoons (the implements that I favor) or the “knocks the wind out of you,” full bodied pain which accompanies a thuddy implement like a frat paddle. Cane strokes often create welts, which may take longer to heal and which hold in the pain for a while in a way that is different than other spankings.

Is all this good or bad? Why can’t you just answer the question, Alex?
It’s both. I feel my heart in my chest when someone that I enjoy being spanked by instructs me to get a cane, or when he holds one menacingly between his hands, flexing it and taunting me. I’ve been brought to tears simply by the sound of a cane being whooshed back and forth or colliding with the mattress as a demonstration. It scares me. It intimidates me. With someone I know and trust, I like that. I like how much I don’t like the way a caning feels. I like being instructed to get into position for an implement that I’d never in a thousand years select for myself if I was given a set of choices. I like it when it pleases Malignus to cane me. He went on a “kick” for a particular cane at one point, and would grab me and bring me into the bedroom for it multiple times a day, just arbitrarily, because he liked hitting me with it. As much as I didn’t actually enjoy the caning (it often brought tears to my eyes), I loved how much he was enjoying doing it. Getting something which sort of scares me, which sort of pushes boundaries, which wouldn’t be my first choice makes me feel wonderfully submissive. The afterglow of a caning is always filled with adrenaline, some level of endorphines and pride.


Another think which I actually like about caning is its ability to overwhelm me. This is something I’ve talked about before. I like it, in certain contexts, when a spanking can overwhelm me and push me beyond my usual level of resistance. I like feeling all my energy used up. I like feeling the fight go out of me. Especially when used after other implements, hard cane strokes can really do this to me. In fact, two of my most significant subspace experiences involved caning, and I’m forever appreciative towards cane-kind for that.

So, in summary, it’s both. Yes, I’ve stomped my foot and thrown a big protest at the announcement that I was going to be caned, and no, I can’t think of a time when I said “You know what I’d like? The cane!” but at the same time, I have nothing but warm feelings… especially those coming in the form of lines.

 Head over to Real Spankings to see my interview for more cane-conversation.  

Note: I wrote this last night, scheduled it, then didn’t like parts of it so I went back and redid them. It’s later than I originally promised because of that. You’ll probably live. 

A few days ago, I finally hit the road again after having spent all of November and December in South Dakota (except for the brief trips that I took to Omaha to fetch and return Heather, but that really doesn’t count). I headed to Denver on Sunday in order to visit Amoni and to shoot with Real Spankings again. I had such a wonderful time when I last shot for them, and I was really looking forward to this second shoot. Betty Blaze is incredibly fun and friendly, and last time we shot, she really put me at ease.

Betty Blaze strapping me during my first RS shoot.

I was especially excited about doing this second shoot because the Top this time was Danny Creighton. I like him a lot. I got to have a very nice, long scene with him when we first met at a Scarlet Moons (a small, local party in Denver) party in October and I was really looking forward to being spanked by him again!

I arrived to my shoot on Tuesday a little bit early (I feel that it’s never a good idea to show up late to something spanking related. Don’t need to give anyone more excuses, right?) and was feeling jittery and excited. When I got there, I found that Betty had a cold and wouldn’t actually be filming any scenes with me that day, which was a little disappointing since we had talked about the prospect of being spanked together, which is always fun. Still, the show must go on, and I was more than capable of taking everyone’s spankings myself. 🙂

Betty Blaze and me. Aren’t we cute?!

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this before, but I find it very exciting to be on the set where Real Spankings is filmed. I’ve looked at their content for many years and certainly had more than a few fantasies where I imagine taking the place of one of the girls in the pictures or videos I was watching. There’s really nothing more exciting than actually doing that!

The first scene which we filmed that day was an all hand spanking scene. Really, a nice, long hand spanking is the ideal way to start any work day! The positioning was a little different, as I was bent over a railing at the end of a staircase, so it was kind of close to a standing-up style spanking. That’s not usually my preference, but I liked the impromptu feeling of the location and position. The spanking built perfectly and eased me into the perfect mood while warming me up to take the rest of the spankings I’d be getting that day. I had to remember to act like I wasn’t enjoying it.

Right after that, we filmed our second scene, this one involving a strap. I was asked to select which strap I’d want to be hit with from what was essentially a dresser full of implements. I’m going to go on a tangent for a moment to point out that I think that selecting an implement is one of the hardest things to do, period. Occasionally, Malignus sends me to “go find something for him to hit me with” and I inevitably spend way too long obsessing over making the choice. At home, picking something out to be hit with involves trying to find the perfect balance. If I pick something that isn’t “mean” enough, I’ll feel disappointed if the spanking isn’t as hard as I’d prefer. All my instincts are against picking something “too mean.” I usually end up finding whatever seems like the right middle ground for the situation and then bumping it up one level of meanness, just in case. In this case, though, I had only been spanked with two of the implements in the dresser of doom, and I couldn’t even identify which ones they were at this point. I ended up seeking Betty’s advice, and we selected a strap which she told me she enjoyed being spanked with.

The strapping scene involved me being a little bitch and having an attitude, which is something that I’ve been trying to get more practice with in play and for cinematic value recently (that is, however, something which comes with a big “WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME” label for me :P). I think that I pulled it off pretty well. At one point, Danny asked me a question to which I really didn’t have an answer. I tried to come up with some sort of clever line, but kept drawing blanks so instead of waisting time I simply let out the most pathetic whining noise I’ve ever made while giving the best scowl I could muster. This lead to me getting put rather firmly back into positon and spanked quite a bit more, so I suppose it worked out properly. ^_^

After the first two scenes, I went to change and snuck a few phone photos in the bathroom because that’s what I do and who I am: I’m a girl who takes pictures of her ass in bathrooms across the country.

The second two scenes that we filmed were “School Strokes” and “School Swats.” If you don’t already know, these are series that Real Spankings does where they interview girls about their experiences and thoughts regarding both canes and paddles and then give them “traditional” chastisement with the implement in question. I always get a little nervous when being interviewed on camera (I actually opted not to watch my Punishment Profile after the last shoot, because I feel like I always look and sound a bit silly when speaking candidly) but I do think that my blushing while talking about the subject matter at hand was probably cute. Danny interviewed me regarding caning, first, and then showed me three thicknesses of canes. I then got 4 strokes with each. The last cane was a thicker rattan cane than we have at home, and it hit with a level of density and firmness behind each stroke like nothing I’d ever felt from a natural material cane. I will probably need to buy one.

When we were discussing these last two sets, it was up to me whether I wanted to do them with my jeans on or not. For the first one, I decided to do it on the bare because cane lines always look great, and because at this point in my life, it feels kind of unnatural to get spanked over clothing since baring is nearly always a part of my spanking ritual, unless it’s something extremely impromptu or it’s part of a mind-game. Shortly after we finished filming the caning sequence, I went to get changed to do the paddling one. I had originally said that I would take the paddle swats over my jeans, but I changed my mind at the last minute. My butt was sore, sure, but I wasn’t dying. I was really enjoying getting spanked, and I really wanted to feel the spanking I’d be getting that day.

After the interview, when it came time to actually take my jeans down, I felt a little apprehensive about my decision. It’s funny how the closer a spanking gets, the scarier it becomes. But I reminded myself that this was all my choice and I wanted it to be hard and got them down.

It was hard.

I got ten swats with the paddle, and each of them made me rise up on my toes, cry out, and contort my face in pain. After the seventh, I asked for a moment to catch my breath. I took a second to just breathe as Danny gently rubbed my bottom. I felt safe and secure, and relaxed myself again, stuck my bottom back out and took the final three swats. When it was done, I had quite a mix of adrenaline and endorphins and a very sore bottom. That, my friends, is the ideal way to end a work day. 🙂


Sore!



After we took care of paperwork, I hugged everyone and said my goodbyes, I got picked up and headed back to Amoni’s where we hung out more. My bottom hurt for the rest of the day, and around bedtime I still had some bruising (which is rare and kind of exciting for me ^_^). I went to bed with a sore bottom and woke up with one still in the morning. In fact, as I’m preparing this at bedtime on the second night, I can still sort of feel it. That’s a win in my books.

See my bruise?! See it?!

I can’t wait until these scenes come out so I can be excited about them all over the internet. You probably should be, too!

My blog is clearly not about the latest in spanking news, but today, I have a few things that I’d like to point out.

Item of business number the first: 
I’ve updated the template of the blog to be more visually appealing, and to include a kind of awesome new header, featuring a photo of me which was taken by my good friend Amoni Jones. I’ve updated my blog roll to include only blogs that have recently posted. If you took a hiatus from blogging, please send me a note when you return so I can, once again, include you. If you’re interested in trading links, please email me at alexinspankingland@gmail.com. For those of you who are interested in the details, I also updated the blog description and added a separate section for my disclaimers, which were also updated. I’ll be going through the static FAQ and cast of characters pages to update that information next. I’m happy to say that the current layout of the blog is much closer to what I originally intended for the page to look like during its inception.

Item of business number the second: 
The 2012 Spanking Awards are open for nominations over at The Spanking Spot. I’m really excited to announce that, at least in this preliminary stage, I’ve been nominated for New Spankee of the Year, Creative Blog of the Year and Spankee of the Year (the title currently held by my most beloved Ten Amorette).

Does this make a photo of me and Ten naked together topical? Please? 

I really wish that I could say that this sort of validation isn’t important to me, but that would be a huge lie. Until the spanking community, I was a quiet and forgettable girl. I could hardly get anyone to sign my yearbooks in school, let alone dream of being a superlative. I always fancied myself Most Likely to be Completely and Utterly Forgotten, Most Likely to be Shunned by Family and Friends and Spend Life Alone Due to Perverse Obsessions or Most Likely to Have Her Dead Body Discovered by a Public Librarian. I’m obviously now a very different girl than I was when I was younger, but I imagine it will take years to shake those feelings from the back of my mind. So, needless to say, this is a matter of huge excitement to me, and I’m really just overwhelmed with joy to have received nominations, especially from people for whom I have great respect. This makes me super happy. I went ahead and nominated a few people myself. If there’s someone you feel should probably win a prize, go ahead over and list them.

Item of business number the third: 
I can’t remember if I mentioned that my sets have been up for a while now on Real Spankings and Real Spankings Institute, but in case I did, I’ll mention it again. I feel like I haven’t done an “updates” sort of post for a while, so it’s likely that I did not. I had an absolutely fabulous time filming with Betty Blaze, and I can’t wait to go back and shoot again.


Shooting with Real Spankings was extremely exciting for me, because it was the first spanking site that I really looked at when I started using the internet for spanking related things, and I’d followed it on and off for years. It was just magical to put on the uniform myself and become part of that world.

Additionally, a couple of days ago my first clip went up on Amateur Spankings! Filmed during TASSP, this is an interview style video, which, of course, includes my butt:


I advice you all to go check those out. 🙂

Item of business number the fourth: 
For those of you who don’t yet know, my best of best friends, Heather Green has launched a blog: The grammatically challenged musings of Heather Green. She’s only posted twice so far, but I’m sure there is quite a bit more to come. In case anyone hasn’t heard, Heather is incredibly sweet, a dedicated friend and, despite what the name of her blog might suggest, quite a smart chick.

From Northern Spanking. She’s also a knock out, basically. 

Anyway, I recommend that you all go check her blog out. I expect it to be down to earth, honest and full of a seriously dorky sense of humor (just like my dearest Heather).

Item of business number the last:
One of my favorite stores for buying spanking related things, Paddles and Panties  has released Christmas themed items, including holiday paddles and seasonal panties.

Obviously, these ones are not for me.

I think that the idea of having special panties for each season is a VERY good one. They also have items for guys, which I think is fairly special considering the frequently heteronormative nature of the spanking community.

I have a good spanko friend who happens to have a phobia which is a bit unique: she’s afraid of Santa Claus. This would probably make a pretty effective punishment implement for her, right?

I know that’s cruel. I’m sorry. I can’t help it. 

It’s now 2:30 AM, and I’m behind schedule on my posting schedule as enforced by my wonderful Boss of Me, YS, so I stayed up to finish this one up, only to get a Semi-Boss scolding me off to bed. So now that I have finished, I shall check for typos in the morning. Heather W, if you see anything, PLEASE DON’T SAY ANYTHING.

Oh, Hai!

Alex

Los Angeles, California, United States

First and foremost, I’m a girl who loves being spanked. It’s at the very center of my being. I’m also a professional spanking model, which means I get to do what I love for my job. I’m twenty six years old, and currently located in Los Angeles when I’m not traveling around on my adventures. My vanilla interests include poetry, film history, academia, Pokemon, indie music, baby animals, baking and cooking, collecting vintage clothes and lots of cuddling.

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