So, the first month of the year is very nearly over.
First, let’s have some news and updates from my spanking universe.
Basic stuff first:
I’ve been trying to revitalize my spanking news blog, Spanking Wishes, and I am currently posting something on it literally every day. Please go check it out, and give the corresponding twitter account a follow: @spankingwishes.
I’m active on Fetlife in short bursts, but will be trying to spend more time on the site. I accept all friend requests there, so please feel free to send me one. I also still have a kinky Facebook page, but I’m on that even less frequently. While I have a lot of awesome friends that I primarily communicate with through that site, I also get a ton of sexual harassment over it. I get guys sending me pictures of their genitals on that site far more frequently than on any other. I get called a bitch for not wanting to spend lots of time chatting to total strangers about sex for free. I get people demanding that I give them videos for free because “we’re friends now since you added me on facebook!”
I quickly run out of steam for dealing with this stuff. So, I’ll keep trying, mostly because the spanking romance author community is primarily on facebook and I do want to get more involved in that again, but it’s a struggle for me. If you want to send me a friend request, feel free: just be aware that while I do not post photos that include nudity (including bare bottom photos) on facebook, I post explicitly about spanking pretty much all the time and post links to NSFW material.
The Spanking Awards are going on now, which is always an exciting time!
So far, voting has been opened up in 4 categories.
The first one is Best New Spankee. There were so many new spankees this year that were really amazing, and I’ll be giving a shoutout to a handful of them in a post over Spanking Wishes in the next couple of days (since that’s less about me and more about videos), but the selection in the voting is also awesome. I’m happy to see a bunch of my friends included! I’m particularly proud to see three performers who did their first ever spanking shoots with Paul and I for Northern Spanking in the voting. They’re also three of my favorite girls in general, since I’ve been lucky enough to build close friendships with a lot of the performers that we work with.
So, I’m proud of you guys: Ava Nicole, Linny Lace and Nuna Starks! All three girls deserves awards for being adorable, hard working and taking lots of hard spankings. I love you guys! Plus, a big shout out to my friends Tai and Kenzie, who I haven’t gotten a chance to shoot yet, but really look forward to the day that I do! You girls all kick ass. So, go vote for one of these amazing ladies.
The next is Best New Top, which is a new category this year. I think I may have suggested this at some point, but I don’t know if I actually did or if I just thought about it. But either way, I’m glad that John added this category! Tops don’t get as much love in the spanking video world, to be honest, but we literally couldn’t make videos without them (or, we could just make self spanking, which would get boring really quickly). Plus, after having spent a lot of time on both sides of the the paddle in videos, I feel like it’s more important that a Top does an excellent job than almost any other person involved in video production. You have to be physically accurate and you need to be able to carry yourself with authority and have believable scolding going on. So, yes, love to Tops. Tops everywhere.
In this category, one of my favorite “new” Tops is up for voting: Princess Kelley May! I say “new” as Kelley has a ton of experience as a Top and had done a little bit of it on camera before her return to the screen, but she definitely made a splash when she came back after having been away for a long time. Plus, her shoot for Northern was her first time shooting for a membership site.
Anyway, Kelley is an absolutely great Top. I love the way she scolds and I love the way that she spanks. Besides, she’s totally gorgeous and always has PERFECT HAIR. I’ve been trying to get her to teach me her secrets for years but I think I’m just not destined to have perfect hair.
The other lady I adore in this category is my girl Adriana Evans. As I mentioned in my previous post, Adriana and I have become very close in the past year or so. I love her so much and miss her all the time!
Adriana is also a great Top. I love being spanked by her, although our spanking play often ends up taking a somewhat different direction due to the nature of our relationship… 😉
The next category is Best Facial Expression. I’ve come in the ranking for this before, but I’ve never won it and I would really love it if you would vote for me and make that happen! Think of all the times that I’ve had my face covered with tears and I’ve looked truly pitiful during a spanking. Think of how much eye cream I have to use because I’m always scrunching my face up in pain and agony and I don’t want to get fine lines out of control. Think of the fact that I’ve literally popped my jaw out of alignment because I was biting a pillow too hard when screaming and wailing. (The photo above is a screenshot from Spanking Blogg’s listing about me. You can’t actually click the links. I tried. It’s my own post. Siiiiiigh)
My campaign promises are more hard spankings producing more pathetic sad faces from me. I guarantee it.
The most recently opened category is Best Male Top. My most beloved, very favorite Top on Earth is up for voting in this category. Surprise, it’s Paul!
Honestly, Paul deserves an award just for putting up with my massive amounts of nonsense on a daily basis. But he also does an absolutely fabulous job in videos. He gives hard spankings, he gives perfect canings, and he doesn’t have a gross ego about it. He’s just the best. You should vote for him. :3
So, that’s where we are so far with the Spanking Awards. Remember that you can vote once per device, so if you use the internet from your laptop, desktop, iPad and phone… then you can vote four time. Juuuuuuust saaaaying!
I’m going to start a second post that tells you about what else I’ve been up to this month, but I’ll finish this one with some upcoming news.
I’m going to be on the road a lot coming up!
I’m heading to the UK in the start of February. I’m sorry to tell you guys that this time, I am NOT going to be available for shoots and sessions while I’m abroad. I’m only actually going to be over there for six days, and it is my plan to spend as much of that time as possible just hanging out with my friends and having a much needed kick back.
That said, for those of you who want to do sessions with me in London or elsewhere in the UK, I’ll be over for an extended period of time in August. Make a preliminary mark on your calendars, and feel free to shoot me an email and inquire about details whenever it suits you. I’ll be available to both give and get hard spankings, plus I’ll likely be able to do 2-2-1’s with some of my lovely British friends, as well. But that’s a long way off. I just want to make sure you guys know that my choice not to work while I’m over this time isn’t a permanent change. I just kinda need a holiday. It’s going to be the best.
Later in February, I’ll be heading to Palm Springs for some fun and adventures. (I’m fully booked for my time there, but if enough people are interested in seeing me in that direction I could certainly come out again later one). I’ve never been there so there’s a lot of fun stuff I’m looking forward to seeing.
Then, near the end of the month, I’m heading to Vegas. I *am* taking bookings for both shoots and sessions while I’m there, so feel free to shoot me an email about that: firstname.lastname@example.org . I am going to see a bunch of friends and have an awesome time while I’m there and I’m just so excited.
And after that, I’m heading to Denver to get to see my dear and darling Amoni. Hopefully I can get her to photograph me again! And what’s a trip to Denver without a visit to one favorite spanking sites that I don’t run? I’ll be getting a bunch of spankings for Real Spankings and Real Spankings Institute while I’m there! If anyone would be interested in seeing me for sessions in that area, please let me know ASAP! I’d love to be able to get together with you during that visit. Email address is above.
So, that’s the basic news. Watch this space for more detailed information about what my life was like in January, coming soon!
Look at me, continuing my post! Two posts in one month! This year is off to a good start…well, in terms of posts anyway.
Let’s get into it right away and look at scenes 6 – 10 in my top ten favorite scenes of 2016!
This scene was shot when I was in Vegas at an event with friends early in 2016. It was during this time when Adriana Evans and I were first starting to bond. Getting close to Adriana and building our special relationship (one part lovers, one part like sisters, one hundred percent normal, don’t worry about it) has really been one of the most special things that’s happened since 2016, and I hope that we get to spend a lot of time together in 2017. She’s very previous to me. *heart eyes*
Anyway, during this event, I was shooting for my friend Sarah Gregory and her sites and she asked if I wanted to do a scene with Adriana. Of course I said yes! The plot that she made up for us once again worked very, very well. Adriana was teasing me for being too babyish and always wearing overly cute things while she prefers to have a more grown up, sexy appearance. This is like, the core of a lot of our interactions in real life, to be honest, except it’s just playful teasing. In this video, we started really fighting, and our mom, played by Miss Anna, had to come and punish us for it.
I was in a kind of emotional mood that day (I don’t remember the reason, probably because I was at the event without Paul since he was still in England at the time) and I started crying real tears right away, even during the hand spanking! Whyyyyy could those tears not have come when I was getting bathbrushed? There are no answers to these questions.
7) Up All Night from Kitchen Sink Spanking
Another thing which I really loved in 2016 was the fact that my friend Princess Kelley made her return to shooting spanking videos! I got to shoot with her a handful of times, mostly with me directing her for Northern Spanking (but a few of her topping me there, too) and also when we shot for Real Spankings as mentioned earlier, where she topped me for quite a few scenes.
Kelley moved to the East Coast at the end of the summer, after having been a good friend who I enjoyed spending a lot of time with in LA. Before she left, we got together at her house to do one last shoot together, where we shot scenes for both Northern and for my side project, Kitchen Sink Spanking. KSS is sort of a hodgepodge of things, often becoming a home for scenes that we film that don’t otherwise fit in with Northern’s themes. It was originally a place that was meant to be about me, personally, though, so we filmed a couple of scenes with Kelley that fit that original concept.
In this scene, I’m Kelley’s roommate and I’m horribly irresponsible with my sleep schedule (again, we’re getting a little too real here with the sleep thing). Kelley gets up early to go to the gym and discovers that I’m still awake and lounging on the sofa. She decides that I can’t make good choices on my own, and that she’s going to spank me for staying up all night. She does exactly that, then makes me change into very childish pajamas to emphasize what a naughty little girl I’m being before strapping me and sending me off to bed. I really love the sort of forced ageplay theme, and Kelley and I had very good energy together for that.
Cheerleader Spankings just came out in 2016! It was (I think) the only new site this year and it was a very exciting launch. I had filmed some scenes for it before it was set up, and one of them is this scene, which features me and Maddy Marks.
Maddy is one of my favorite people to Top. I know her very well and we’ve been close friends for a long time, so I know how she likes to play. In fact, I think she was one of the very first people I ever topped, and she was definitely the first person I topped on camera. I was very excited to get to shoot this scene with her, since it was kind of darker, bullying scene, and that’s something that I really enjoy exploring. I like this when in both roles, but it’s something I’ve taken a strong interest in as a Top. I like the way that Maddy responds to having mean and unfair things done to her, and playing with her in this capacity has really let me learn how to let that side of myself loose.
In this scene, I’ve caught Maddy trying to blackmail me, and I’m going to really make her pay for it. I get to be quite bossy, and Maddy is caught in a bit of a pickle, since she can’t exactly protest against anything that I do to her, or else I’ll reveal her blackmailing scheme. She gets spanked, the hairbrush and a hard paddling, all of which I take great delight in dishing out.
Honestly, this is one of my favorite scenes I’ve done as a Top, period!
9) Three Girls Paddled After Gym from Real Spankings Institute (once again, this isn’t the real name, sorry)
Earlier in the day when I shot the “Rematch” scene I was talking about a few scenes ago, I got my customary school paddling that I always seem to get when I shoot for Real Spankings. School paddlings are tough. They’re a different kind of pain than most other spankings. It’s so much hurt coming down on you so suddenly. I don’t do these kinds of paddlings often, because there are few Tops who I feel comfortable taking them from (and at home, there’s a strong preferences for caning to fill the same kind of disciplinary niche).
The scene was planned so that Maddy, Harley and I were all going to be paddled and I was going to be the first one to go. In retrospect, that seems a little bit unfair to me: I probably should have volunteered to go to last, since sitting and waiting while you can hear your friends getting spanked is pretty intimidating, and I’m the only one of the three of us who had ever been paddled by Michael before, so that made me the senior girl out of us. I should have taken one for the team. But, at the time, no one thought of that (and I probably only thought of it now because it’s a theme that’s been coming up a lot in the erotica I’ve been reading, for full disclosure).
That all said, I know Michael Masterson very well, and he knows exactly how much I can take. When playing with him, that’s an awful lot. He didn’t know either of the other two girls, so I was probably in for the hardest spanking. We were to get ten swats total. The first five were from The Dean (that is to say, Michael) and the second set were from Miss Kelley. Kelley isn’t a soft paddler, either, but she and I have never played in such a limit pushing way, so I was less nervous about taking her swats, although I probably shouldn’t have been.
When we were all sitting outside the room listening to Michael and Kelley talk about how badly behaved we’d been and what they were going to do to us, I got very, very nervous. I hadn’t had a paddling like this in a long time and I knew that it was going to hurt, and a lot. The scene was very immersive, sitting in the chairs in the other room with the door open and listening to these authority figures talking about what was going to happen to us and knowing that it was going to happen soon. It was very, very, very my kink. I fell deep into the headspace of a naughty student awaiting discipline and in that moment, the whole thing became completely real for me. There’s no other way for me to say it. It didn’t feel like a fantasy at all. It just felt like I was in it, sitting in front of the Dean’s office awaiting an undeniable spanking. When I caught glances at my two friends, they looked very scared as well.
Honestly, it was one of the most immersive scene experiences I’ve ever had. I feel a feeling that I can only express as a love/hate relationship towards really intense and immersive scenes, but that’s not exactly accurate. I don’t feel this way about every scene, but in certain cases, when playing with people that I know well and know are able to bring me there, I want it to be really scary. I want to not like it. I want to truly wish that it was over, or that it wasn’t happening to me. I want to feel that scared and regretful “Why did I do such a dumb thing to get myself into trouble, I promise I’ll never misbehave again” feeling in my stomach. So, when a scene feels real, I don’t exactly like it while it’s happening. But I crave that headspace, and I love it pretty much the instant it’s finished. That headspace is rare for me, but it’s remarkable when it does come through, and it’s a memory that will remain gratifying for a long, long time.
It was my turn to come into the office and to bend over the desk to be paddled. The Dean told me to place my hands flat on the desk and to keep my feet on the floor. This is hard for me. I like to grip things and hold on for dear life, and I tend to kick my feet around a lot. He made it clear that if I moved in either way, I was going to get extra. In reality, I don’t know if he meant it or not, but I wasn’t in reality when this scene happened. I knew that I needed to be still, even though it was going to be hard to.
I had kind of stopped caring about being still and taking spankings “well” at some point. It generally looks more visually interesting on video if you move around a lot, so I had sorted of adopted that as a go-to. And I do like resisting. And I do like being overpowered. But I found in my head a space that I used to enjoy going to a lot, where I could overpower myself. I focused on that and told myself that I was not going to move.
The descriptions that I have for the first paddle swat are really, really cliche sounding. I feel like I saw stars, my whole mind alight with how hard the swat had been. I felt like I was physically moved forward by the force of it (which is kind of impressive because I’m not exactly a wisp of a girl). The air was practically knocked out of me, and I lingered in this very long second where I felt the impact before I felt the pain, and then everything went double fast in order to catch up. I made a truly pitiful noise and my knee buckled, but I didn’t take my hands or feet away from where they were supposed to be.
The second swat followed directly. It was still hard, but not as shockingly so. My wailing didn’t sound any less pathetic, though. The third swat brought me to tears, which was a relief. Crying felt right. It felt real. And it let some of the tension out of my body.
After the third swat, I knew I had two more to go before there was a break as the Tops switched. This meant that I was more than halfway to my first goal. I have a theory that I tell myself when I’m taking spankings and I get concerned that I can’t take what I’m getting: anyone can take ten swats with anything. This, of course, isn’t actually true, and the use of the word “anyone” can get a bit hairy if you think about it too hard, but it’s a useful thought to go to when things are (intentionally) overwhelming. But there is a sort of truth to it: a lot of “taking it” comes down to “letting it happen.” Accepting that this hurts. Not resisting or panicking. So I got myself to that point, and I cried a lot. The last two swats seemed close together in my mind.
We switched over to Kelley paddling me, and I was honestly a bit surprised by how hard her first swat was. I had kind of had the idea that because, in the real world, Kelley is a close friend of mine, that meant that she wasn’t going to punish me so severely. I don’t know where I got that idea from: it was wrong. My bottom was already incredibly sore from the swats that had come before and I was already in tears when she started spanking me, but at least my resistance was pretty gone. I counted each swat so carefully in my head. I actually made a little puddle of tears on the desk, I think. My palms were tremendously sweaty as they pressed against the desk’s surface. But I didn’t move.
When the paddling was over, I was told to go sit back outside and listen to Maddy and Harley as they got their spankings. I kept crying for a little while as I sat there, but I was a little bit less immersed in the scene. I was out of it just enough to be sky high happy about what an intense experience I had just had.
I was so sore when this scene was over. My butt felt swollen and like it should be absolutely purple. But by the time that my friends had finished receiving their punishments and we all lined up to show off our marks, I was hardly even pink. I appreciate the fact that my body recovers quickly in terms of color, because it allows me to continue to shoot after doing tough scenes like this. But it drives me crazy that I don’t get the satisfaction and gratification of having people look at my butt and know exactly how sore I am.
It’s probably no surprise that my favorite scene that I shot this year was for my own site. It was REALLY hard to pick a favorite because I really pour my heart and soul into everything that we do for Northern. This scene was particularly fun because it was a group scene that involved a lot of people that I really like: my friends Cupcake SinClair and Harley Havik, plus Violet October, who I got to know and become friends with because of this shoot. Plus, Paul was the Top, and he’s my favorite Top!
By Order of the Court was a custom film. It took a lot of planning to do: we had to rent a location, Violet flew in from Vegas for the shoot, and there were a ton of schedules to coordinate. I particularly like doing customs. I really enjoy the directing side of making a spanking video, and it’s fun to direct from someone else’s script. It just so happened that the script for this scene was a fantasy that I really enjoy: a judicial punishment. The film has no explicit setting but it has a generically English feeling, especially because of the fact that in addition to caning, one of us got the birch. The one of us was me!
This was my first proper birching. Previous to this I had gotten a few strokes from Pandora Blake during a photoset we did for Dreams of Spanking and Paul had given we a couple of strokes over my leggings when we were in the Inveraray Jail Museum in Scotland. They had a birching bench and a birch on display with a sign that said “please try.” It was the kinkiest museum of all time.
So, I was very curious to discover what full force strokes of the birch on the bare felt. I could take a guess and say that they were going to hurt.
When we arrived at the house that we had rented in order to do this film, we immediately started to look for branches that might be suitable for making birches. We pulled into the driveway, opened the house up, checked the rooms and then got right to work stripping long, thing, flexible branches off the trees. There had been no appropriate ones near our house. I could imagine that to an outside observer who didn’t know what we were doing it would seem like very odd proceedings.
Eventually, we decided that we couldn’t find enough branches there, either, so we drove to a nearby park. I was somewhat embarrassed to be looking for appropriate birch making materials in a public park, but Paul assured me that there was nothing weird about it. When he started stripping them down in the parking lot (BECAUSE HE HAS NO CHILL), someone came up to us and asked what we were doing. Paul lightheartedly joked that we were going to make a wreath. I don’t know if he was convinced or not.
We filmed the scene the next day. It involved the first three girls each getting 25 strokes of the cane, followed by me receiving my birching. First, we all had to strip naked, and I ended up directing parts of the scene that didn’t involve me that way. Porn life!
I enjoyed watching as Paul thrashed each of the girls before me. I was fascinated by watching their different reactions to the punishment. I’m particularly fond of watching him Top other girls. I don’t get to see the way that his body moves or his facial expressions when I’m the one getting spanked by him, and I love these things.
After watching him deliver 75 cane strokes, it was time for me to get my birching. I was nervous, but mostly excited to see what it would be like.
What it was like was extremely stingy. Despite being bundled together, it still bore almost no weight. It was the whippiness of a switch but spread across a wider area of my bottom. It did have less bite because of that. It still left me whimpering and gasping. When it was finished, I was a little endorphin high and very sore. My friends were obviously in similar states.
In order to prevent this post from being EVEN LONGER THAN IT ALREADY IS I only included pictures from my segment of this scene. The full scene is over 40 minutes long, but the whole thing is extremely engaging to watch. I highly recommend it. It was, in fact, my favorite scene I did this year!
WAAAH! So much for having free time and staying caught up! Life has remained in whirlwind mode pretty constantly since my last post. I started this one in the beginning of June, but damnit, I’m going to finish it!
So, a couple of months ago I had a super fun adventure that I’m going to talk about now. In the past year or so, fellow spanking model Adriana Evans and I have been getting closer and closer. In addition to being a spanking fetishist, Adriana is an ABDL (Adult Baby/Diaper Lover for those of you who don’t know). As I’ve become closer friends with Adriana, I’ve gotten the chance to get to know some of the awesome people that she’s friends with from that side of her kink (and, as a side note, I’ve had some fun exploring it myself with said friends).
First, I got the chance to spend some time with Ally Cakes, who became a fast friend of mine. We have a lot of interests in common and when she visited us in LA to shoot for Northern Spanking the first time, we spent tons of time talking and hanging out and became very close. Earlier this year, Ally came to visit and shoot with us a second time, and that connection grew even more. Although Ally has done plenty of ABDL modeling, her first shoot with us was her first time dipping her toe into the spanking video scene, and she did an awesome job. She’s just so cute!
Adriana, Ally and I became a little group of friends, texting each other a lot (mostly about cute things) and buying matching stuffed animals, et cetera. It was through these two that I was introduced to Ava Nicole, or misspandapants.
As soon as I saw Ava I knew that I wanted to shoot with her. She’s just adorable, and I was assured that although she was coming from the same situation as Ally (having done ABDL videos but never having done a spanking video) that she liked to be spanked. Since she lives elsewhere on the West Coast, she wasn’t *too* far away from us, so we decided to ask her if she’d want to come down to shoot. Since she was only going to be shooting with us and didn’t have any other plans in LA, I thought I’d offer to take her to Disneyland, too. Because who doesn’t love Disneyland? I figured it would be a good way for us to get to know each other better before the shoot, too, to make it a little less weird to just show up with some friends-of-friends and get spanked.
The problem came with how creepy I felt saying “Hey, I will take you to Disneyland if you fly down here and let us spank you.” Adriana and Ally assured me that it was the kind of creepy that Ava wouldn’t mind, so I got the nerve up to send the email. Lo and behold! Ava was up for coming to LA and was not creeped out by my offer to go to Disneyland. Maybe it just sounds like something that someone who wants to abduct you would offer to me? I dunno.
I started planning this shoot a bit before Paul came back, and it was one of the first shoots we did once he returned to the US. I was a little bit nervous on the way to pick Ava up from the airport. I’m always a bit concerned that people aren’t going to like me, and when I’m wearing my Producer Hat I’m also always cognizant of making sure that models, especially new models, are comfortable and having a good experience. But as soon as I met Ava, I knew we were going to get along. She’s just as nice as she is cute!
We spent a lot of the evening chatting and getting to know each other. It really helped that we were close with the same people already. As the visit progressed, it became clear that although Adriana, Ally, Ava and I (the A-Team?) had never all hung out, through both common experience and the magic of the internet, we were able to become mutually friends. They’re all such special girls and I feel so lucky to have gotten to know them. ^_^
Anyway, the next day, Ava and I went to Disneyland. It was a really, really awesome day. She had never been before, and it’s the most fun to go to Disneyland with people who don’t go all the time because they’re impressed with everything :P. Adding to the excitement for us was the fact that a bunch of baby ducks had just hatched and were running around all over the place being cute. :3 The baby ducks pictures didn’t turn out very well, so here’s us being cute instead:
The lines weren’t particularly bad that day, so we were able to do almost all of the fun stuff and still had extra time left. We ended up exploring Toon Town, which I usually don’t do, but we were definitely in the right headspace for it. We ran around and climbed on things and I got in Pluto’s dog bed, because cute.
The night normally ends with Fireworks, but we still needed to find a couple of souvenirs so even though we stayed in the park until it was closed, we ended up hanging out in the open-later-than-late-because-we-want-you-to-buy-stuff store searching for something for a shot glass. Because Disney is too family friendly for drinking, apparently (despite the fact that you can get REALLY unintentionally trashed on the drinks in the cove bar because they are potent with alcohol, but I digress) shot glasses are referred to as “toothpick holders” there. It took us a long time to find some, but by then we were determined. When we finally did, they weren’t that great, but at least we’d accomplished the mission? Then, as we were leaving, going out the same door that we came into the store through, we realized that literally the first table we walked past had exactly what we had been looking for on it. ihusfhsfhsnijbhksksguhseohur!!! Fail! We ended up going back in line and exchanging the one that Ava had picked out for the new one. It was a little ridiculous, but we were laughing the whole time.
The next day was our shoot day. Between the time that we booked the shoot with Ava and the actually shoot, a conversation had taken place with my very good friend Princess Kelley. Kelley had been retired from doing videos for several years, but had recently started thinking about possibly doing them again and had come to the conclusion that she was definitely up for it, but only wanted to appear as a Top. This conversation more than likely took place over pie or pancakes at our favorite hang out, but I’m not 100 percent on that detail anymore. But it’s likely.
I was thrilled that Kelley wanted to start doing videos again because she was so great at it! In such a short time spent filming, she had really made a mark on the spanking video world. Plus, having hung out with her for the past couple of years, I’ve come to be *very* fond of watching her give spankings. Her scolding is so perfect. A lot of her favorite scenes aren’t the kinds that I necessarily think of as my favorites, but watching her do them always leaves me unable to shut up about how hot they are. So, knowing that the shoot with Ava was coming up, I asked Kelley if she’d want to Top for most of the F/F scenes that we were planning and she said yes! I was a little overjoyed that in one shoot we’d be getting to work with a brand new-to-spanking model *and* do Kelley’s first shoot back in front of the camera. It was obviously destined to be something special.
Ava and I were surprisingly chipper on the day of the shoot given our long day at Disneyland. Our first few scenes involved Paul topping Ava and me doing camera and photography. I like to think that I’m getting better at both of these skills. I only took one unit of film production when I was in school and I spent a lot of that making a stop motion video of a cuddly moose and a cuddly polar bear playing checkers (of course I did, also the polar bear won) but I’ve had very good teachers now that I’m learning by doing: Paul has been making spanking porn for like 15 years or something like that and Rafa is a remarkably talented cameraman who actually did take and pay attention to tons of production classes at school. Being the only person on camera gets a little stressful for me sometimes, but I think everything from that morning turned out very well. A couple of previews, although you’ll have already seen more if you’re following me on tumblr:
Kelley then came over and we did the two girls’ first scene together, which is the one which is already out on Northern Spanking and our clips4sale, called “A Different Spoon.” The story is about Ava, who plays Kelley’s younger sister, trying to live up to her sister’s reputation as a good baker by volunteering to make the cakes for the school bake sale despite having no idea how to bake. As a Top, Kelley really excels at scenes that are caring and for-your-own-good. In this scene she really nailed that, not just scolding Ava for being irresponsible but emphasizing the importance of being her own person and embracing who she really is, not feeling like she has to do everything her big sister does. Plus, the spanking was delightfully hard. While watching, I found myself making Dale Cooper-esque thumbs ups to Paul, who was on the other camera, to signify that I was super happy with the way the scene was going.
Here are a couple of the pictures from that scene:
Plus, some behind the scenes photos that I took while Paul was taking the above photos:
We took a break for lunch, which we spent chatting in addition to eating and getting to know each other better (aside from Kelley and I, who already know each other pretty well, lol). During lunch, there was a knock on the door and a package was delivered. It was a bunch of school uniforms that I had ordered from online. I opened them up and enjoyed how cute they were. After lunch, we did a couple of other scenes with Kelley as the top, including Ava’s first on camera caning. For that scene, she was originally supposed to wear a gingham school dress that I got when I was in England, but those dresses can be hard to fit because they don’t really stretch in the chest at all and they’re designed for actually children. It was squishing Ava’s boobs a lot and it was not the best look. Fortunately, an alternate school dress had arrived during lunch, so we were able to use that the day we got it: something which never happens because I’m pretty addicted to buying more cute clothes for shoots than we can actually use -_-.
Plus, we had to get a scene of me spanking Ava, and one of Kelley spanking me, obviously. These two are photosets, and they’re both currently up on Northern Spanking.
There were other scenes shot, but I won’t spoil all the surprises there. You’ll have to wait and see. I personally find the final scene we shot that day hilarious as it’s chock full of inside jokes, but I’ll save that one and post the background story once it comes out because the story will make more sense if you’re actually able to watch the video.
Somehow, we all ended up in bras before the day was done, though:
After Kelley went home Paul, Ava and I did some decompressing, then went out for steak and drinks. Post shoot meals are always a lot of fun, and usually involve looking at all the photos that were taken that day on the camera while trying to pretend that you’re DEFINITELY NOT LOOKING AT PORN IN A PUBLIC PLACE (sidenote, all I ever do is look at porn in a public place).
Then, we came home and Ava and I drank good wine out of sippy cups. I mean, what else would you do after a hard day of work, really?!
The next day we had sushi for lunch and then took Ava back to the airport so she could head home. I haven’t gotten to see her again since, but we’ve chatted lots and lots in a girls’ group text with Ally, Adriana, Ava and I. Rumor has it, the gang will all get to be in one place for the first time ever for some spanking holiday that takes place in early September… I wonder what that could be?!
Hi everyone! Remember me?
I feel terrible that I haven’t updated my blog in a long time. It’s been far longer than I’ve ever let it go before. I’ve obviously remained active on social media, posting to my tumblr and Twitter accounts regularly with mini updates about my life. But it’s been a long time since I’ve written anything here.
It started out where every day I’d think “Oh man, I never updated my blog!” and then I started adding “Blog post” to my weekly to-do list instead of my daily one. Then, it got to a point where I wasn’t even bothering to add it to the list anymore: I knew I wasn’t going to get around to it.
I’ve been very busy recently, and I’ve had an unfortunate series of issues with my health. At one point, I was convinced that it was something really serious, and I was quite worried about it, to say the least. I’m happy to say that after a long series of non-sexy doctor’s visits and tests, I’ve been able to get things pretty much straightened out and I’m no longer feeling badly or worrying about that.
During that time, I got behind on a lot of projects and stuff, and I’m now working to get myself totally caught up. I still have a few things to do, but it’s a relief to be at least close to the feeling of being on top of things.
Meanwhile, my creative juices have been flowing a lot recently (side note: that’s the dirtiest sentence ever, when you think about where most of my creativity comes from) but I’ve been primarily funneling them into Northern Spanking. I’ve been writing lots of the scenes that we’ve been shooting, and we’ve been shooting a lot recently.
Throughout all this, my poor little blog has been sitting off in the corner, getting no love from me. It’s hard: once I let something go a while, then I just start feeling so guilty about the fact that I haven’t been doing it and that makes me want to avoid it and it’s just a vicious cycle.
But, it’s time to break that cycle and start sharing with you guys again. So, here are a few fast facts:
-For those of you who don’t know, Paul and I got engaged in January when I was visiting him in England. REALLY exciting stuff! I’m just over the moon happy about it. I love him so much, and getting married to him is a dream come true. *heart eyes*
Nothing is going to change in terms of any of my other relationships or my work life when I get married. I’ll still shoot, I’ll still do sessions, I’ll still play with other people, I’ll still have relationships with other people. A huge part of the reason that Paul and I work so well together is because he supports the things that make me happy. I’m just going to have a supportive husband instead of a supportive partner. I’ll probably just be brighter and bubblier all the time.
So, that’s the biggest news! Paul was in England for literally five months this time, so the fact that he’s back now is also pretty big news to me. He got home in April, so he’s been home for a little over a month. I’m getting used to having him back, and it’s been really good to get to spend time together. Our cats are happy about it, too. They really missed him. I’m not even making that up. They love him more than they love me, I think.
There will be posts about other stuff that’s happened since I last posted…last year coming up soon (probably). But tomorrow Paul and I are shooting with Ami Mercury. In case you aren’t familiar with her, Ami is an East Coast based spanking model who shoots primarily with Punished Brats. We’ve got some fun scenes planned for the day. I’ve never had the chance to meet Ami before, so I’m looking forward to that. She’s going to be in town for Domcon, which starts this weekend.
Alas, I won’t be able to attend Domcon this year, as it’s the same weekend as the Lone Star Spanking Party in Houston, which Paul and I will be taking off for on Wednesday. I have a busy calendar while I’m there, but if you’re a Houston based spanko or you’re going to be at the party and you’re interested in having a session with me, shoot me an email sooner rather than later, while there still is a bit of room left on the calendar.
A highlight of this upcoming weekend is the fact that Paul and I are sharing a room with Adrianna Evans and Ally Cakes. Adrianna and Ally have become really close friends of mine recently, but we actually haven’t hung out in the same place since the first time that I met Ally at Adrianna’s house over a year ago.
I’m sure that there won’t be ANY mischief in our room with the three of us in one place, right? Actually, I’m just hoping that Paul can handle the three of us.
I’m looking forward to seeing lots of other friends, doing a bunch of shooting (wearing both my producer hat and my modeling hat) and playing with lots of lovely people.
For a long time, I was struggling with a low tolerance. It sort of came out of nowhere and became a really big problem for me. It was becoming almost laughable how little I could take. But this will be my first party since I’ve pretty much regained that. The only thing that I’ve noticed is that while my tolerance during a spanking is the same as it once was (although I’ll probably never have the same tolerance that I used to have at the very height of my hard play days, since I think that about 75 percent of the nerves in my butt were just temporarily destroyed or something) the pain seems to linger around longer, which I can’t say I mind. There’s something very satisfying about going to bed sore and waking up sore the next morning. My point with this is that it will be nice to be at a party where I can actually play outside of pre-arranged engagements more than just a little bit without feeling totally worn out, although I guess I do still have to pace myself a bit.
I also have to pack tomorrow night after the shoot. I have some super cute stuff for this party (the themes include “soda shop” and “1950’s prom” and I am very well prepared for both of these) and I just need to get it all together. But I just hate packing so much. You’d think that a person who travels as much as I do would be good at packing and unpacking. But you’d be lying to yourself, because I’m still terrible at it.
Anyway, there you have it. A blog post! It’s kind of all over the place, but at least it exists.
I’ll be straight forward about this: it gets harder for me to want to update my blog as opposed to other forms of social media because I often feel like I get way less feedback and interaction here for way more effort. I feel like a big loser saying “please leave comments” but an occasional note to let me know that the people who read this blog aren’t all spam robots would not be unappreciated. 😉
It’s good to be back, guys!
I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Paul left for the UK just before I left to go to my family of origin’s house for the holiday. Being around them is always difficult, but it’s a topic that I don’t really want to delve into here. Suffice to say, it was a very long week with very bland food, family stress and the sadness of being separated from Paul. He’s gone until the spring time, doing very important stuff that I’m very glad he’s doing, but it’s still hard on me.
I came home feeling fairly down, but being at home has brightened me, honestly. My family of origin’s house is so dreary that all the comforts and coziness of my little place here have been really highlighted to me in the past couple of days. My days have been quiet but good, and cat cuddles make the house not feel really lonely.
Soon, I’ll be heading out of town again, on a long-session trip that will include some very exciting adventures. Then I’ll be home for a bit, I’ll get to watch Star Wars (I planned all my travel for the month around this) and then I’ll head back to the F.O.O’s for Christmas. It’s funny, I was *so* enthusiastic about Christmas this year while Paul was here. I was doing early shopping and we watched the holiday parade at Disneyland, which is something I’ve wanted to see ever since I was a little kid and I had a VHS tape with a recording of it on it (this is how I experienced a lot of the world as a small child). Both that parade and the special holiday World of Color water show were just amazing, and I couldn’t stop being excited. We went to The Grove one day for me to see the giant Christmas tree there, too. I mean, technically we went to go to stores, but I was all about the Christmas tree.
After Thanksgiving, my enthusiasm has…dwindled. The F.O.O has a way of doing that to me, I guess. I’m hoping that my next trip will perk me back up in that department.
Well, now that I’m done being a bummer, onto some exciting news. We’re got The Spanking Awards going on now! It’s voting time already, and the first category is Best Creative Blog. Alex in Spankingland has been nominated once again. I want to thank everyone who listed me as their choice, since there were several of you! You guys’ loyalty to my blog means a lot to me, and it reminds me that I need to attend to you regularly!
There are some other excellent choices on the list, too. Fellow spanking romance author Casey McKay was nominated, and if you haven’t read your blog, it’s one you should definitely check out. She shares her favorite fiction work as well as really intriguing snippits from her personal life.
The blog Consensual Spanking was also nominated, which is a blog that makes caption and stories based around spanking photos.
There’s also Wolfie Toons, where you can always count on seeing cute and funny spanking cartoons. I’m sure you guys must be familiar with this blog, but if you’re not, definitely go take a look and enjoy what he has to offer there.
Erica Scott has, of course, been nominated again! Erica is one of my best friends and a part of my chosen family (you know, the family that *doesn’t* drive me batty!). Erica is a truly exceptional blogger, especially in her perfect balance of fun spanking stuff and real, honest sharing about her and her life. And she’s a remarkable women. I just adore her.
Hermione’s Heart is another blog that I’ve enjoyed reading for a long time, and it’s the host of the Spanko Brunch every Sunday (which I really should get back to participating in). It’s another truly great blog.
Ludwig and Kaelah’s blog was also nominated, which is another that I’ve enjoyed for a long time. The stories and pictures that they share are always both exciting and reaffirming to me.
Bonnie’s My Bottom Smarts is nominated, as well. Bonnie’s blog is such a good resource for those looking to find other blogs, as she has the world’s greatest collection of blog links. Plus, her posts are so thoughtful and informative. I hadn’t visited Bonnie’s blog in a while and when I went back to grab the link I regretted that I hadn’t. It’s definitely quality stuff.
Pandora Blake’s blog is on the list, too. I think that everyone knows just how much I adore Pandora and how much I support her. Her blog has always been an inspiration to me, and she continues to challenge my held beliefs and open my mind to this day. Pandora is really a treasure in the spanking scene. We’re so lucky to have her.
Finally, there’s Tim the Tum, whose blog includes really great spanking stories and some of the most thoughtful and interesting writing about spanking videos that I’ve seen in a while.
So, all in all, it’s a great list of candidates. Checking out each of the blogs that have been listed made me feel really enthusiastic about the blogging scene again, too, which is something I’d been needing. After I left blogger, I stopped feeling a certain sense of blogging community. I want to get back to commenting on others blogs and engaging with other bloggers more. Especially should do if I’m whining to get more comments myself, huh?
I hope that you all go vote. I obviously hope that you’ll want to vote for me, but there are so many other blogs on this list that deserve recognition, so go pick your favorite, whatever it is!
In other exciting news, I have a trip to the UK coming up in January. I’m flying out on New Year’s Eve, which will be a bit of a strange experience, since I won’t know when the date has actually changed since I’ll be changing time zones. Maybe I’ll re-enter the new year more than once? In my mind, 2016 will start when I land, I suppose. I’ve had a long history of weird or lame New Year’s Eve celebrations, so I think that getting off the plane, going through customs and then being greeted with a kiss from Paul will certainly be a good change of pace! I hope the flight isn’t too full of drunk people, though. Could be interesting.
I’ll be in England from the 1st thru the 20th of January, and Paul and I will be doing a location shoot in a big, Victorian house for four days, with a handful of brand new spankees plus a couple of English models I’ve never had a chance to meet before but that I’m very excited to meet and work with. So that should be a great adventure.
I’m hoping that I’ll be able to see some friends while I’m there, too, and do some exploring. And maybe I’ll tell you the stories from my last trip before this one starts, we’ll see.
I’m also finishing up my fourth spanking book! I’ve been keeping it kind of under lock and key and not posting any Works in Progress type snippits, but it’s my first historical piece, set in Victorian England. It’s called The Doctor’s School for Naughty Girls and it combines a lot of my core fantasies, as the title pretty much suggests. It’s a bit edgier than my other books in certain ways (or, for some it may seem to be less so, as it’s my least age-play oriented book to date) and I’m very excited about it. I need to finish a few more scenes and then send it to my editor to begin that whole process, but I’m hoping that it will be out for you guys soon. In the mean time, if you haven’t read The Doctor’s Little Girl, Daddy’s Little Angela (or the entire Little Haven collection) and The Sheriff’s Little Girl, now would be a great chance to grab one of those to tide yourself over until my new book comes out.
So, lots of exciting things going on right now and in the near future. In the immediate future, I need to get some food. I have an empty fridge and there’s no point in shopping right before I leave again. So, I’m going to go grab myself something before I head home to try to get a few more things done. I’m having late night snacks (which I assume means pie, since that’s our go-to) with Princess Kelley later, but I need energy before that.
Remember to vote for your favorite spanking blog! The contest is no fun if no one votes. :3
It’s been a long time since I’ve updated my blog. I miss you all!
Things have been busy over here, recently. Honestly, I don’t really know where the time goes. The time since my last post seems like a blur. It’s only by looking back at my calendar and the pictures that I took that I can remind myself of as much that happened as possible.
Shortly after the release of The Sheriff’s Little Girl, in the end of September, I headed out of town for a few days. I was doing an extended session with someone who is also a great friend, so it’s a lovely way to spend some time. The day after I got back, I got together with a new friend. She had emailed me after reading my blog and lived not far from me, so we met up and hung out. We went to the mall together and walked around, chatting about video games, cats, and of course, spanking. It was a really fun afternoon, and it was great to make a new connection through This Thing We Do.
That night, Paul and I had some much needed play time:
The next day, Paul and I drove down to Orange County so that he could pick up the car that he bought. Paul loves cars, and he spent a long time deliberating about what sort to get here in America. I’m quite pleased with the one that he chose: I think it suits him quite well!
I haven’t had a chance to get spanked in or over it yet, but I’m looking forward to it.
That night, we met up with Spankcake in order to help Erica Scott’s partner, John, surprise her for her birthday. We went to an amazing Japanese restaurant in the Hollywood Hills with an awesome view. We had champagne and Spankcake and I shared sushi (as usual for us!). Most importantly, we got to celebrate Erica, who we love so much. I’m not going to go into too much detail about the night, since this post is basically a clips show of the past six weeks, but you can read Erica’s account of it here. I will say that it was a truly amazing night, and some of the most fun I’ve had in a long time. John’s love and affection for Erica and his pleasure at seeing her so happy is something that always makes me smile when I recall it.
The next day we had the adorable Linny Lace over for a shoot! In case you aren’t familiar with Linny, she’s a pretty new spanking model based in Los Angeles. She did her first spanking shoot with Paul and I for Northern last spring. She’s super cute and very sweet, and I was happy to have her back for another shoot. If you use tumblr, you can follow her there.
This day, we were experimenting with producing content for someone else: they had seen me posting about custom videos available and had emailed me asking if I would film content for their site. We gave it a go. The plan was to shoot half the day for this other site and half the day for NS. It wound up being a *very* long day, but Linny was such a trooper. Because we had commitments to the other site, we only ended up being able to do one video for us, but it was a very fun one: our Halloween special.
This film was all my idea. Paul isn’t particularly enthusiastic about Halloween, but I definitely am. It’s one of my favorite holidays because I love dressing up. I kind of miss being young enough to be able to go door to door trick-or-treating, to be perfectly honest. So, I wrote a video about Linny and I having done that. In it, we’re American girls living in England, where the trick-or-treating is not so strong (and you get people like Paul and John Osborne being grumps about Halloween). I imagined that we’d want to participate in some of the mischief night aspects of the holiday and that our neighbors, and the local authorities, would not be so keen on that idea.
The video started with us sitting on the rug and sorting out our candy from our very full treat bags. This was a very thinly veiled excuse for us to have to buy two treat bags worth of Halloween candy, I’ll admit it, but it was all in the name of verisimilitude! Paul, our guardian, then interrupted us, having just gotten off the phone with the police about our criminal mischief involving egging houses and wrapping trees in toilet paper (admittedly, that’s a worse offense in the UK than in Southern California when you think about how rain works). Of course, we had to be severely punished, and we were both spanked and then caned.
We got to wear Halloween costumes in this, of course: Linny brought a really amazing Red Riding Hood costume that she made herself, and I wore my Hello Kitty costume from last year:
The next few days were full of sessions, working on my current Work in Progress, admin stuff and my butt wearing these shorts:
Shooting for two sites in one day is long, but we got a lot of good stuff done! The scenes that we did for KSS probably won’t be released for a while, but you can see a couple pictures anyway:
And here are a couple from Good Spanking (these videos are currently live on the site):
Do you like my bunny slippers? I’m kind of in love with them. They were a gift from someone awesome off my Amazon Wishlist. I kinda wish I could wear them every day.
We took that Sunday off, but on Monday, it was time to shoot again! This time, we shot with Cupcake SinClair. I had never met Cupcake, but I realized as soon as I met her that she was seriously sweet: the name suits! She’s so spunky and full of energy, and she was such a pleasure to work with. We’re definitely going to have her back for a longer shoot in the future. We did scenes for both Northern Spanking and for her site (linked earlier in this paragraph). It’ll be a little while before we get to introduce her on the site, but I’m excited for it, because the videos we did are totally great.
We had a lot of behind the scenes fun and giggles:
And here’s a picture of Paul and I being cute together off camera:
I had probably too much fun spanking her. This girl has a serious tolerance, so I got to use my meanest hairbrush, the one I try to avoid getting spanked with as much as possible!
The day after that, we drove down to Orange County to meet up with one of the ladies I’ve been friends with in the spanking community for the longest: Lily Starr. She was in town to do sessions, and I jumped at the chance to do a shoot with her! We did scenes for Lily Starr Spanking, Northern Spanking and Kitchen Sink Spanking.
One of the scenes that we did for Lily’s site was particularly fun: we got to wear Halloween costumes again! I had hoped that we could both dress up as slutty bears, as I had ordered stuff for a slutty polar bear costume to wear later in the month and Lily had a slutty panda outfit. However, the postal service failed me and my box arrived a day too late. Fortunately, Lily had some cute slutty Disney girl outfits that we wore instead.
In the scene, Lily was my friend (very much like in real life, in fact) and we had a Halloween party at my house. We spiked the punch and things got a bit out of control. Except we were playing as teens, so it was quite a big deal, and Paul (who played my dad) was super not thrilled to have a house full of drunken teenagers. I knew I was in for a spanking, but I didn’t know he was also going to punish my friend. We both got it very hard, too.
This film is special because it’s actually the first time that Lily and I have ever been spanked together on camera, despite having been filming together since 2011. We finally got to fix that!
We also did a really cute scene where Lily was my strict Aunt, who punished me for disobedience and bad language (and I got to wear my bunny slippers again):
And we did some cute scenes for Northern with Lily getting spanked by Paul. I love watching her get spanked because she has such sweet and genuine reactions.
That night, when we were finished shooting, we took some much needed alone time and snuck off to Disneyland, since we were pretty close by. We got dinner, watched the fireworks and went on a few rides. It was something we so needed! Even though we work together, it gets stressful to not get to also spend some down time together, and it was the refreshment that I needed, since there was a lot more busyness coming right up.
Despite my best efforts at brevity, I’m not going to be able to fit everything that’s happened into one post like I originally planned. Hopefully it won’t be another six weeks before I post again!
Before I go for the night, I have a couple things to add:
First, if you have a tumblr blog and you want to share the pictures featured in this post, that’s cool. Here’s what you need to do if you’re going to do that:
1) Put www.alexinspankingland.com as the source on the picture.
2) Not use them to advertise for something else, claim them as your own work/pictures of you or add a fictional story in which you rename me or make up a background for the picture (I’m sharing my life with you and don’t feel comfortable with it being used for these things, so please respect that).
3) Ideally, tag me @alexinspankingland so I can reblog your post. 🙂
The other thing:
Big thank you to the three people who left me blog comments while I was away, and to everyone who kept visiting this blog, keeping the traffic surprisingly high for a place that wasn’t being updated. I really appreciate you guys. I would *love* to get comments more often, even just saying hi. Engaging back and forth is so much more fun than just rambling about myself into a void. 🙂 Part of the reason that I use tumblr more often these days is because I get so much feedback and participation from people (admittedly some of it is totally dick, but most is great). I guess the real reason is because it takes a few minutes to add a post there where as this one took me almost two hours and hours are pretty hard to come by these days. But the fact that I get to interact with people there is really rewarding.
Everyone remember last winter when England passed new regulations making the production of spanking, bondage, BDSM and several other kinds of positive, consensual adult videos illegal? It got talked about a lot at the time, and then it stopped being talked about so much. The law remained exactly the same, though, and it continued to effect UK based producers, having huge impacts on their lives.
Those who had to move their sites (or themselves) out of the country because of it have had big, bureaucratic messes and a lot of expenses to deal with. Those who didn’t have that option or who decided that their best choice was to remain in the UK have had even more stress to deal with: the fear of what’s going to happen next. I can’t imagine how much strain it puts on someone to know that the thing they’ve dedicated themselves to, invested all their time, creative energy and money in, has been made illegal and could possibly be taken away from them. It breaks my heart to think about, really.
So, when Pandora Blake and Nimue Allen started a fundraiser to support Backlash-UK, an organization that can offer legal aid to producers who find themselves in court because of these ridiculous regulations, I was glad to help out. I encouraged everyone who enjoys this blog to donate to the campaign, promising to give something back to the community in exchange for your help.
The deal was this: for every £10 donated, one cane stroke would be given. It started out with Pandora and Nimue each taking up to 50 cane strokes each. When those goals were reached, popular spanking and bondage model Amelia Jane Rutherford/Ariel Anderssen (same person, two names) volunteered to take 25 strokes, and Rosie Bottomley signed up for another 50. I was next to volunteer. If another £500 were donated, I’d be taking 50 strokes.
The fundraiser ended up collecting a total of £3,836. For those who don’t know, that’s about $5,700 that was donated in about a month’s time, or 767% of the original £500 goal. I was proud that I’d be getting all the strokes I had signed up for.
I had to wait until Paul got back from the UK to get caned, though, and once he got back, it didn’t happen right away. We we had houseguests, then we went out of town, then I had to shoot a lot of things, both for myself and other sites. Besides, you have to be in a good headspace to take such a severe caning.
Fifty cane strokes is A LOT to me these days. I was excited about what I had agreed to do, but very apprehensive. I could have signed up for a lower maximum, but I wanted to push myself. I do like playing hard, and I actually really like longer scenes, especially once I get into that headspace, but I don’t play that way very often anymore. I often get hung up on worries about marking or leaving myself too sore, or I get caught up in memories of times that weren’t enjoyable when I played hard. Over the past few years, it’s become increasingly harder for me to let go during longer, harder scenes.
So, I was nervous and apprehensive before my caning. Every one of the models who took sponsored canings reacted to the event differently. Most of the others I’ve watched seemed to enjoy it, some made sounds of pleasure, others giggled. I cried, but this wasn’t a bad thing.
Crying has always been a natural reaction to spanking and other corporal punishment for me, and for a long time, a crying headspace replaced a more traditional subspace for me when I was most relaxed during a scene. When the caning started, I was feeling a little nervous and a little shy about it. It hurt. The word that comes to my mind to describe the way that the cane feels is “spongy” which I know is very bizarre sounding. But the pain flexes and bends, swells and grows, like it’s absorbing into the other tissues in my body, welts raising up in a way that makes all of my body awareness focus on them.
I soon discovered that I needed the harsh, pulsing pain that was biting into my bottom. My crying was fueled by pain, but it was also relieving. It was almost therapeutic, like all my frustrations about ATVOD were manifested into something tangible, something that I knew that I could cope with.
Fifty strokes went by much more quickly than I expected it to. While at the beginning I was worried that I would never be able to take that many, I found that by the end I was in a space where I was almost surprised by the ending. Adrenaline and endorphins had kicked in, and despite my tears, I felt very still inside. Paul wrapped me up to cuddle on his lap and all was right with the world.
Doing something that I had, if just temporarily, worried I couldn’t do made me feel more confident about my ability to accomplish other things in my life, too, and gave me a little confidence boost.
So, now you get to watch the video! Click on this link to watch it streaming, or right click to save it to your computer. You’re welcome to reupload it and share it, but please provide credit and don’t re-edit it.
I hope you enjoy it! If you feel inclined to do something to help out, you can donate directly to Backlash-UK by clicking on the link on their page (no one will get caned though, sorry).
You can also support the producers who have been affected by these laws by joining their sites. Some examples include:
I had a lot of downtime from blogging here, and I missed a lot of things that happened in my life. For now, though, I’m just going to pick back up with writing about what most recently happened. And that was today.
I’ve talked before about the difference between play punishment and real punishment. Play punishment is a big part of my daily life with Paul, where real punishment happens fairly rarely. Although I enjoy being naughty when it’s just-for-fun, being good and obedient in “real life” is important to me.
I don’t wear shoes in the house most of the time. This is primarily because I have a lot of pain in one of my knees and so I have to keep it straight if I’m sitting for long periods of time, such as when I’m working or writing, or watching TV, or playing video games… so a lot of the time. This leads to me usually sitting with my feet up on the couch or working from my bed with my laptop on my lap, like I’m doing right now. So, no shoes.
The first time that Paul went back to England after he had been here, I set up an outdoor sitting area for him as a surprise. We don’t have much of a yard, since our house is still in a semi-urban area, but underneath the camphor tree in our yard, I put a couple of chairs, a chiminea and a small table. Paul spends a lot of time sitting out here when he’s taking breaks from work. He sits in one of the chairs there and reads: Paul reads more than anyone else that I know, which is something that I really like about him.
So, when I want to find Paul to ask him something, or just to climb onto his lap for cuddling, I first check in his office. If he’s not there, he’s almost always in the yard. The problem is that when I want to go out into the yard to talk to him, I often don’t bother to put shoes on before I do this.
At first, I thought that the reason that Paul kept scolding me about this was because I then tracked a lot of leaves and things into the house on my feet, but this didn’t really matter that much, I didn’t think, seeing as Paul wears shoes in the house and we have really fuzzy cats, so the floors are almost always in need of sweeping up anyway. Admittedly, I really didn’t take being scolded when I didn’t wear shoes in the yard very seriously at first.
One day, though, I went out to talk to him and noticed that there were a lot of bees in the yard. In fact, I very nearly stepped on one while barefoot. This is a big problem, since I’m seriously allergic to bees. After that happened, Paul started being very serious about the “wear shoes when going outside” rule.
The problem is, I keep forgetting about it. I had made such a habit of just running out without bothering with shoes. Because I get to the backyard through the back door, which is located in the kitchen, there isn’t any room for me to just leave shoes by the door. I have to actually go find my shoes and put them on. Ugh. My life is so hard. 😛
Despite getting (not so severely) spanked for not wearing shoes in the yard several times in the past, I forgot about it again today. Paul was in the yard reading, and I had just finished watching the most recent video for Northern Spanking. At least half the time now, I make up the names for videos. I watch them once the editing is done, then I make a list of ideas and ask Paul which ones he thinks are the best. This time, I had pretty much decided which one was the best one, and I felt enthusiastic about zipping out the yard to let him know.
Of course, I did this without shoes on.
After I told Paul what I had decided on, and he agreed with me that it was good, I curled up in his lap to snuggle for a little bit. It was sunny and bright out, and I felt very content.
“How’s your tummy feeling?” he asked me, stroking my hair.
I had eaten a sandwich which was questionably not good earlier in the day and had been feeling a bit queasy. I told him that I still didn’t feel 100% right.
“Tell me when you do,” he told me, his voice sounding stern and serious. “I’m going to punish you for not wearing shoes in the yard.”
“Well, I’m never going to feel better,” I moped, trying to curl my toes up as if that would somehow make it less noticeable that I was barefoot. We both knew that wasn’t true, of course.
Soon, I was feeling pretty okay, and I went to the gym. This is a new thing: while I had previously only worked out at home, I’ve been actually going to the gym and following a routine there now. It’s kind of intimidating to me, because I don’t know what I’m doing with half the stuff there, but it’s really rewarding to see myself getting stronger and fitter.
I came home and took a shower, then got dressed again and found Paul in his office. It was time for more cuddling, of course. I seriously spend a pretty decent percentage of my days snuggled up to him when I can. I have to save up for later. 😉
“Are you feeling better now?” he asked. I nodded hesitantly: I couldn’t lie. “Go to your room,” he told me. Paul has a specific tone of voice that he only uses when I’m in real, actual trouble. It’s very tender and gentle, but extremely authoritative. The sound of that tone touches at the core of what D/s is about to me, and I would never disobey him when he talked to me that way.
I sat on the edge of the bed for a few moments, waiting for him. It seemed like a very long time to me, but I knew that realistically, it wasn’t long at all.
Then he came into the room. He wasn’t carrying anything with him, which didn’t necessarily mean that I wasn’t going to get punished with an implement: there were several in the room already.
“Stand up, Alex,” he instructed.
I stood up next to him, looking up at his face.
“I’ve punished you for this before, haven’t I?” he asked.
I nodded sadly, not wanting to admit that I hadn’t really taken those minor punishments to heart before.
“Like almost all your rules, this is to preserve your safety and well being,” he lectured, reminding me about the fact that I could get stung by a bee or step on something sharp outside.
I felt guilty and I felt a little embarrassed. In my previous D/s relationship, I used to get punished for things that, primarily, annoyed or caused inconvenience to my ex. These things didn’t make me feel the same way. I felt like I was in trouble, then, and it felt real, but it lacked the feeling of being nurtured and taken care of. The fact that my rules exist because Paul cares about me and wants to protect me makes me feel particularly bad when I break them.
Paul sat down and pulled me over his lap, lifting the skirt of my dress to expose my bottom. Then he began to spank me with his hand. Each swat was particularly hard and forceful, much more than it would be if we were just playing. They stung and bit, and I found myself struggling over his lap a little bit: I was still slightly sore from the spankings I had received the two previous days.
Paul grabbed my hand and held it behind my back. He wasn’t pinning my wrist in place, just holding my hand there. It made me feel like I was very much under his control, but it was still an affectionate gesture. It calmed me, and I lay still, taking the spanking fairly quietly. It got to a point where I was sufficiently warmed that each hard swat didn’t hurt so much anymore, and things were almost becoming nice.
It was then that Paul stopped and instructed me to get up and to take off my dress. I did as I was told, folding my dress and setting it on the dresser behind me as Paul grabbed four pillows and put them in a tall stack on the middle of the bed.
“Over the pillows, bottom uppermost,” he instructed.
This is a very normal instruction for us. I like being in this position, with my bottom higher than the rest of my body. It makes me feel vulnerable. It makes me feel like I am on display. It makes me feel like my bottom is a very obvious target. All of these things make the submissive part of my brain hum happily.
Paul stood to one side of me, so he was in my field of vision, and then he removed his belt. He did it fairly quickly, with strong, sharp movements that foreshadowed how, exactly, it would be moving in just a moment.
He took his position and lay the belt on me, finding his mark. He did this motion a few times before the first stroke, and with each one, I whimpered as I awaited the biting sting that would soon be following.
After what seemed like ages, he snapped the belt down against my bottom. It hurt, but I was ready for it. The second and third strokes made me grunt and gasp a little. The fourth was particularly sharp, and it landed with a pinching feeling on my bottom, reminiscent of the tawse. I let out a wail. The strokes began to fall harder now, and each one solicited small cries from me.
After five strokes, he changed sides. This is something that Paul almost always does, and which very few people who I play with do. Because most people I play with tend to only swing from one direction, and it’s been this way for the past nine and a half years that I’ve been getting spanked, the opposite side is still somewhat less conditioned, so these strokes always hurt more. I gripped at my Rilakkuma cuddly toy (who I call “Fat Head”) and pressed my face into the plush material, as if this would bring me some kind of relief.
Once ten strokes had been delivered, I expected Paul to change sides again. Paul and I tend to play so that far fewer, but very hard strokes are delivered, usually of a set number. This is different from the way that I’ve played with a lot of other people, but it’s a headspace that has a strong effect on me. It feels formal, more like a school punishment. It feels very controlled, which is something that gives me great comfort and allows me to let go more during the scene.
Instead, Paul started to scold me again:
“You’ve been punished for this before, haven’t you?” he asked.
I nodded, my voice not coming through for me.
Paul’s only response to this was to tap the belt against my thighs.
I whimpered and lowered my head, knowing that this was really going to hurt. And, in a second, it did: a bright, blazing light of pain across the middle of my thighs. I let out a cry that probably sounded fairly desperate. The next several strokes landed this way, seeming to illuminate my entire body, each stroke feeling like it covered much more flesh than it actually did. I struggled to keep from reaching back, and sometimes raised my feet after the belt landed and had to force myself to move them back down before I was asked to.
Having my thighs spanked and otherwise punished has always been psychologically important to me. It’s the ultimate love/hate relationship, and I was fascinated with it even before I actually started to play. It always seemed like a punishment within a punishment: the harshest of sanctions.
When the belting was finished and my legs were striped by the strokes I had received, I felt very passive and chastised. I curled up in Paul’s lap, thanking him for punishing me, as is our protocol. I felt very young and very taken care of, and these are two of the feelings that I cherish the most that can come from this thing we do.
I’ll be careful with my shoes in the future, not because I’m afraid of being punished again, but because I know that it’s important and that Paul cares about me enough to make sure I know, and that’s the best feeling.
I hope everyone had a good Valentine’s Day, and the week that followed it!
My holiday was relaxed, but lovely. For me, the bigger event happened the day before: it was the day that Paul came back from England. I had been counting down the days until this happened for ages.
Three months is a very long time to be apart from the person you love. Fortunately, the miracle of technology allowed us to talk over skype and to text at least a little bit every day, and we used an App called Wunderlist to allow him to see which of my chores and work I was getting done every day and what I needed to focus on.
I also focused on having fun and keeping myself from getting too sad. I spent lots of time with wonderful friends in Los Angeles, spent Thanksgiving with Christy Cutie and her family of origin, visited my friend James and Korey in Dallas for a week, spent three weeks in New York/New Jersey with family over the holidays and was visited here by Jon83, Thursday Night and Michael Valentine. Lily Starr, Robert Wolf, Tattoo Fairy and I went to Disneyland together for two days. I spent another day there with my friend Dot. All of this helped to keep me both busy and distracted, and I remained pretty happy and in high spirits, although there are always going to be times where I struggle.
During the time that Paul was away, the new ATVOD law came into effect, making the production of spanking videos in the UK illegal. I became the owner of Northern Spanking. My first spanking romance novel was published and was listed in the top 5 BDSM Romance books on Amazon shortly after it was released. I was voted Spankee of the Year for 2014.
In other words, a lot of time had passed since November, and I’d spent countless hours dreaming of the moment that I would first see Paul again. I could hardly sleep on the night before he arrived, since I knew he was already on the plane flying to meet me. In the morning, I had some chores left to do, since I always aspire to make the house as close to perfect as I can when Paul is getting home. I want it to be nice for him, and the house needs to be deep cleaned every once in a while, anyway. Once everything was done, I took a long bath, complete with a rose petal bath bomb. I put a treatment in my hair and a mask on my face and tried to relax a little, although my heart was beating a mile a minute.
Around six, I hopped into my car and headed for LAX. It usually takes me about an hour to get to the airport, and Paul was landing around 7:00, so I figured I would have time to find out exactly where he was going to come out of immigration. Unfortunately, I sat in traffic for two hours, and arrived around the time he was coming out of immigration. I met up with him a moment later than I would have wanted to, and after a lot of rushing, but it was alright. Everything was alright. The night was warm and I stood on my tiptoes as we kissed for a long while, troubles and cares literally melting away. I snuggled up to his chest and refused to let go. Finally, we carried his luggage back to my car as I chatted spastically. We drove to a diner for dinner before heading home. Paul was exhausted from the trip, so we snuggled up in bed pretty shortly after getting in.
The next morning was time for spanking, of course:
I recently became obsessed with my local Korean Spa. My girlfriend and one of our friends and I go once a week to soak in the big tubs, sit in the saunas, eat delicious Korean food and sometimes get rather violently massaged. One day I decided to get a full body scrub in order to make sure that I was truly soft and silky to the touch. The woman giving me the scrub commented that I had an awful lot of dead skin on my bottom, and she scrubbed it particularly vigorously. This was the strongest form of exfoliation I’ve ever experienced, and when she finished, it felt like my body had never been touched before. I quickly discovered that this also meant that my bottom was incredibly sensitive, and that every single smack stung with a strength and clarity that I hadn’t felt in years. I can’t decide if I recommend doing this or not: on the one hand, my butt feels wonderful to touch, but on the other, my tolerance was scrubbed off and washed down the drain along with my dead skin, it seems!
We spent most of Valentine’s Day cuddling and Paul caught up on rest for a while. Then I got dressed up (and forgot to take a photo, fail!) and we went downtown for dinner, which was most excellent. When we finished eating, it was time to go home for more cuddling and eventually sleep. I can’t really describe what the day was like. It was more of a long series of moments that we spent together, where every tiny thing was significant to me. Interlacing our fingers to hold hands. The sound of him singing quietly along to a song we both like in the car. Slipping into his jacket to cuddle against his chest. Being alone in my room but hearing the sound of him in the office and feeling my heart flutter with excitement at the fact that he was here. These little moments, loving the details of a person, are what romance is all about for me.
The next day I had sessions, but before that we snuck off for brunch with Spankcake at a diner that promised the world’s greatest pancakes. They were certainly good: fluffy and delicious! As is usual when I’m with Spankcake and/or Erica, we stayed until the last possible moment. Sometimes this is when the restaurant closes, but this time it was when I had to go home to get ready for work. The next day was President’s Day, though, and Spankcake had the day off so between bites of pancakes, we launched a plan for an adventure: we decided to go to Dave and Buster’s.
I only discovered Dave and Buster’s when James and Korey Johnson took me there when I was visiting them in Dallas in December but I fell in love with it instantly. An arcade which serves alcohol and snacks and has lots of fun games that “grown ups” like me can play? I was hooked. Korey and I had spent ages playing games last time, and had traded in our tickets for some candy. So, I was glad to find out that there was one close to me, at Hollywood and Highland.
The three of us carpooled in Spankcake’s car, which was a good thing, because I had recently discovered that they served alcoholic snowcones there and I intended to indulge myself in this department. We had a quick lunch and I had a delicious drink, and then it was time to go play games (while Paul went to go check out the set up they were doing for the Oscars).
We started off doing pretty well, and playing a few different games. We were hoping to get enough tickets so that we could each get a small stuffed Hello Kitty, so we needed about a thousand total. We were making good progress when we discovered there was a Candy Crush machine. This is a game every single person who has a cell phone or facebook knows how to play! Spankcake and I were doing well and collecting lots of tickets, especially when we would complete a level and get to spin the bonus wheel. We were so excited about this that we were jumping up and down. We discovered that we were only a few levels away from winning the big bonus, though, and through dedicated effort and team work we were able to accomplish that goal: an addition 1000 tickets.
Then we went to show Paul, who had returned and was sitting in the bar, just how great we were at games. He was impressed! When we cashed in the tickets we found out that we had enough to each get a pretty big stuffed animal, bigger than we expected by far!
Then it was happy hour, and time for more mixtures of alcohol and pure sugar!
I realize that this post doesn’t have that much spanking in it. It’s more “Alex in Happy Little Girl Land” but I’m okay with that. More spankings coming soon, trust me. ❤︎
In December, a law came into effect in the UK which made the production of spanking videos, along with a variety of other kinds of porn, illegal. There was a lot of public outcry at the time, and spankos from all over the world offered their emotional support to the UK based producers. People signed petitions. People went to protests.
Then, eventually, things slowed down and, as a community, we generally stopped talking about this. That’s what happens with all political issues: very rarely do we stop actively talking about them because something gets fixed. We stop talking about them because we’ve run out of momentum, or things to say, or ideas of how to get things fixed. Continuing to talk about it, then, makes us feel hopeless. A much worse a reason why we stop talking about things is because we get used to them. We accept that this is simply the way things are. We stop thinking about it.
Unless, of course, you can’t stop thinking about it because it directly affects you. For the average spanko, the law change made us angry or uncomfortable. But for UK based spanking and fetish producers, it changed everything. I don’t know all the producers, and not all of them share what’s going on in their lives online, but here’s a recap of the information that I have right now (if you have more information than I do, please feel free to chime in in the comments section!):
There are other producers in the UK, but I don’t have any updates on how they’re dealing with this issue. If you know any, please add them in the comment section!
Nimue and Pandora announced a little while ago that they’re doing a fundraiser for Backlash UK, an organization that, among other things, provides legal aid for producers affected by the new ATVOD law. The fundraiser started off with a goal of 500 Pounds. For each ten pound donation, one of the two would receive one cane stroke, with a maximum of 50 strokes being received per girl. When the fundraising reached 1000 pounds, the maximum amount of strokes set to be received, Rosie Bottomley stepped up to take the next 50 strokes. When THAT goal was surpassed, Amelia Jane Rutherford agreed to take an additional 25 strokes. This goal has also been passed now.
So who do the additional cane strokes fall to? Well, they fall to me, of course.
I had the rare chance to have a skype chat with Pandora this afternoon. Because we’re both always keeping busy (her especially!) and we’re 8 hours of timezones apart, we almost never get a chance to make our schedules line up, so it was wonderful that we did. When we talked today, she told me everything that was going on with the fundraiser and explained that they had raised more funds than they had models to take the cane strokes, I was both overjoyed with their success and happy to help out. I’m an American, but this law has changed my life, too, and technically speaking, I’m a producer of a traditionally UK based site now. Besides, British spanking pornography means an awful lot to me. I was happy to put my butt on the line, quite literally!
So, everyone, click here to donate to Pandora’s fundraiser! You can donate no matter where you are located in the world. Ten pounds is about fifteen US dollars, and each 15 dollar donation adds a cane stroke for me! The caning will be filmed after Paul returns to the US, and the video including Pandora, Nimue, Rosie, Amelia and I all getting caned (although not at the same time and place) will be made available to everyone for free! Really, who DOESN’T want to see me get fifty cane strokes for a good cause? That’s an awful lot! So, please donate!
When you think about it, your donation doesn’t just ensure that I’ll be getting an additional cane stroke: it helps to provide countless more cane strokes in the future by helping to make sure that British spanking pornography is able to continue on in the world. More writing on this topic coming tomorrow, but I was kind of wrestling with blogger for a couple of days, so I got behind on my posting and now that I’m participating in this fund raiser, I want to get the word out before it’s too late!