The other day, I was looking through my list of fetishes on fetlife. I enjoy the fetish list: I try not to abuse it too much, but I’m fond of creating or adding fetishes that are witty, funny or poignant. Really, the whole thing is kind of unnecessary: my fetish list can be condensed into “spanking.” Everything else serves to flesh out what kind of spanking scenes I’m into: the severity, frequency and style of spanking that I enjoy is highlighted. I took a look at my “Curious about” list, though, and discovered that it was 99%* inside jokes. In fact, only five items are real things that I’m interested in trying. This got me thinking: have I done it all? Aren’t there things I still desire to experience for the first time in Spankingland?
I have a very specific kink. I like to be spanked. I like to be spanked with various things, and I’d like to expand my collection, but there are only a couple of implement categories that I haven’t explored at all yet. As far as positioning goes, I really don’t like to have too much variety: if it was practical (and up to me) I’d be spanked over a lap a hundred percent of the time. I’m not into unusual positions or restraints or bondage furniture.
I’ve learned that I am far more fond of spankings that seem real, and which fit seamlessly into my daily life than fantasy based spankings. Despite the amount of value that I placed on my early childhood fantasies, I’d rather enjoy the themes which were important in them during a spanking that just involves me being me and my top being himself than actually act them out. I’m pretty much only into roleplaying for the sake of doing videos or if it is really funny. J. and I have had some scenes that were downright ridiculous in that regard, and I kind of dig that. I don’t have any role-plays that I’m dying to play out to add to my “curious about” list.
There are plenty of locations to be spanked in, but honestly, I don’t really approve of spanking in public places, or areas where one could be caught. I don’t get a thrill out of the risk of exposure: I just get fear and anxiety, in a bad way. I’m unable to relax and enjoy what I’m doing. As a nude model, I’ve done a lot of outdoor or semipublic work in places where it is not entirely legal, and it terrifies me. Getting caught naked is scary. Getting caught being spanked is maybe the scariest thing ever**. Because of this, the locations where I legitimately would like to be spanked are fairly limited.
|That’s a public road behind me. I would not like to be spanked here.|
The final thing that I can think of which varies between spankings is the atmosphere. This is probably the most significant of the possible variables: it’s the main thing that makes one spanking I receive different than another. That said, I’ve explored, at least a bit, all the major atmospheres which interest me. There isn’t any one type of spanking that I’ve never experienced which stands out to me as “I want that!” There are plenty of them that I want to delve deeper into, but you can only be curious about something until you’ve tried it once. 🙂
There’s a sort of meme in the spanking community of having a Spanking Bucket List, an idea popularized by a thread on fetlife which was particularly full of win. When I made my post to it some five months ago, my list was very general. From my exploration of this topic, I’ve created an updated one.
Getting spanked with a bath brushBath brushes are scary. I always understood in theory that they were scary: they’re basically a hairbrush on a stick, and the “on a stick” part allows the spanker to get more leverage. Plus, Janey really likes them, and anything that she likes makes me terribly afraid. When I was shooting with Lily Starr, she gave me a few test swats with the bath brush and I was surprised by just how much it hurt. Sure, we’d just done three scenes, so I was sore, but the three not particularly hard spanks that she gave me had me yelling about how unacceptable it was.
I like scary things. I get a huge thrill from working myself up over how bad something is going to be. It’s often even worse than I psyched myself up for, too, because usually these new experiences come from a particular individual who spanks me with 0% mercy. I also have a questionable sense of self-preservation. These things combined make me want to be spanked with a bath brush.
Being co-toppedI love the energy between the person spanking me and myself during a scene. The idea of having a third party involved to add to that dynamic seems awesome to me. I’ve co-bottomed before, and that was a lot of fun, so I want to try it this way, too! I’d especially like to be co-topped by two people that particularly enjoy each other or engage well together: I think the banter would be awesome.
Getting spanked on a wet bottomPeople talk about this all the time: it supposedly hurts more. I’m slightly skeptical of this, which is probably kind of silly. Whenever I’ve been skeptical of how much something hurts, it’s always really horrible. At one point, I didn’t think wooden spoons could hurt. At another, I didn’t think that the lag between a cane stroke and the full effect was “real” (before I had been caned). I even doubted the medical accuracy of the idea of a “weak spot” after skin broke during a spanking until I had to deal with one for a while. You’d think I’d eventually learn that if everyone talks about something, it’s probably accurate. Still, there’s nothing wrong with learning things the painful way, right?
Attending spanking partiesThis is a big one! I’ve never even been to a tiny party. I want to go! I want to be surrounded by people who share my kink. I want to meet awesome people I’ve interacted with online. I want to get implements from a vendor fair. I want to be spanked by Tops I’ve spanking-crushed on over the internet but never had a chance to meet.
Sitting down in the snow after a hard spankingI’ve seen photos of people doing this, and I think it’s adorable. Because I’ve been living in Southern California for the past two years and haven’t had to deal with any of the bullshit side of winter, I associate snow with coziness. Plus, if ice on a sore bottom feels good, snow would have to, right? I’ve never been spanked in a place where I could then go outside and have my bottom exposed, though, so the closest I’ve come to this is falling on my sore and swollen butt while ice skating, which, I can tell you, is not as fun as it looks and it does not look particularly fun.
Getting spanked on the beachOn the opposite end of the spectrum, if it were sufficiently private, I’d like to be spanked on the beach. When spankings are slow and rhythmic, I associate the feeling with the waves hitting me when I’m swimming in the ocean. It would be lovely to have a spanking follow that actual rhythm. I spent nearly all my life living in a costal area, too, so I have a lot of strong, positive memories associated with the shore. Plus, I bet that getting wet in the salt water afterwards would be ridiculously stingy!
Getting spanked in my carThis is a pretty lame thing to have on my bucket list, because I think that the main reason why people get spanked in cars is because they don’t have anywhere else to go do it. Still, I’ve just recently obtained my first personal car, and nothing would make it more “mine” than being spanked in the backseat. I mark my territory with my tears.
Getting an extremely long spankingSometimes, during a pleasant spanking, I get the feeling that I never want it to end, and I feel the same sense of disappointment that one gets when a particularly fun ride at the fair starts to come to a halt when I feel the pace slowing down for the inevitable end. I’d love to have a spanking that just kept going. Here’s my pitch for a spanking video: a feature length film that’s just me getting one long, peaceful, OTK, hand-spanking. What? That would get boring to watch? Harumph!
Purchasing leather implementsAs you may have seen in my recent post about my implement collection, I don’t own anything leather. I used to have hang ups about the material from earlier, non consensual experiences. Recently, I started playing with it and I discovered that not only do I no longer find emotional discomfort from the use of leather implements, but I am actively fond of the physical sensation. I’d like to eventually obtain some leather implements of my own.
Cutting a switch.Originally, I didn’t think that switches were scary. I thought they were kind of like less terrifying canes or something. Then a few of my friends started comparing them to razor wire and saying that they’re the all-time worst implement they’ve ever been spanked with and I chickened out. Maybe it’s because no one has reminded me of how terrible they are in a while, maybe it’s because I’m not currently sitting on a collection of welts and bruises, maybe it’s because there isn’t anyone around to thrash me at the moment, but I’ve regained enough confidence to feel, once again, curious about getting spanked with a switch. Like I said before, I like having things hyped up and scary once in a while. This is certainly one of those things.*Approximate figure. I did not do the math.**I know, I use this term a lot. Someday, I’ll collate all the data and come up with the True Scariest Thing Ever (TSTE).
I have a very high spanking need. I got a hard spanking last Saturday (which made me sob and left me sore for a few days) and by Thursday, I was already getting antsy. I headed down to Chinatown to pick up some cardboard boxes for my packing and I quickly discovered that I was jones-ing harder than I thought: I saw implements everywhere I looked.
I suppose that’s not all that unusual: what kind of spanko can look at a wooden spoon and think: “Oh, that’s for cooking”? The difference is that when I’m not getting spanked often enough, I abandon all sense of self preservation. What I would normally look at and say: “Unacceptable!” becomes intriguing. I find myself on sites like cane-iac, wondering if maybe I need an acrylic paddle or a multi-strand cane. I start seeking out pervertables to add to my amazon wishlist. I keep nagging all my friends to go with me to The Stockroom Store in Silverlake to oogle the canes and straps there.
When I’ve been spanked recently enough, I look at my collection of implements and think: “I have way more stuff than I even need.” I’ve got scary, awful stuff and I have things that can be used nicely. I have hairbrushes, paddles, canes and spoons. I have stuff made of wood, plastic and rubber. The only thing that I could argue to myself is the fact that I need leather implements, since I’ve recently decided that I’m fond of and comfortable with them, but those tend to be expensive, and I can’t justify spending too much money when I’m saving up to move.
|Not a bad collection, considering a year ago the only implement I had to my name was a single hairbrush!|
There are some people who fetishize their toys, and almost get more from purchasing implements than using them. These players seem to prefer to switch implements frequently during scenes and are more likely to use heavier implements in a lighter style simply for the enjoyment of using something scary. Honestly, at the end of the day, I prefer hand-spanking over anything else (in the entire world!) but I do enjoy collecting implements. I find picking out and purchasing, out of my own free will, something that will hurt a lot to be a great form of active submission. I think that’s why my desire to purchase implements peaks when it’s been a while between scenes: I want to participate in the crafting of my future agony. It’s a way to be actively involved now in something that will happen in the future.
I also love pervertables. I love spoons and hairbrushes: as a child, I rubbed my hand over the smooth, spanking surface of them and daydreamed (I never had the courage to self-spank when I was a kid). My very first implement was a hairbrush, one which is still in use. Just like I loved seeing the word “spanking” in the dictionary as a girl, I take great joy in finding something spanking related in a seemingly innocent place. So on Thursday, in Chinatown, I couldn’t help myself.
I ended up buying four things. First, I saw a selection of regular wooden spoons. I found one that was lightweight but long handled: it just seemed like it would be wickedly stingy. Then, after shopping around a bit, I came across a giant pair of chopsticks, to be used for cooking. They looked just like a pair of little canes. On another aisle, I discovered a textured spoon for serving rice. I’ve long been interested in obtaining one of these: I think that the spanking surface of it will be interesting, to say the least. It will certainly be different than anything else I already have. I was going to start haggling about the price when I noticed giant spoons. I have a thing for stupidly big spoons: the kind you couldn’t possibly use for anything else. The first one came from Little Tokyo and was named “FLUFFY!” by Malignus. This one looked like it might be slightly bigger than FLUFFY! and was, when picked up, certainly heavier. It’s made of slightly flexible plastic. It’s going to be awful.
|It’s hard to see the texture on the smaller white spoon, but know that it is covered in small, raised bumps.|
I got all four items for $7.50 when I finished haggling in my broken Mandarin. Once home, I tested them against my arm and discovered that they all hurt a ton. I got a chance to experiment with the textured spoon at Threshold on Saturday night (more about that later) and it was awesome. I’m excited to be spanked with the rest of them, and to experience the one I did play with in the hands of a more seasoned top. Buying them certainly gave me something more to daydream about in the meantime.