I know I haven’t been posting as often as I usually do, recently. This is largely due to the fact that I’ve been going out of town (but still in my general area) nearly every day and it’s been throwing off my usual schedule. Still, I know I’ve been a bad blogger, so please forgive me!
I’ve had a few things happen recently that have made me think about baring. The thought process started when I was filming for Real Spankings recently. It was up to me if I wanted to take my caning and paddling on the bare or over my jeans. It was one of those choices that wasn’t hard to make, but was hard to admit to myself. I knew that I wanted both of them to be on the bare from the moment that I was given the choice. I just spent a long time stewing over this before finally admitting it.
It is a counter intuitive thing to want, really. Why would I rather be spanked in a way that offers less protection? It got me thinking. The truth is, baring is a very important part of the ritual of a spanking for me, and it is one of the things that makes a spanking feel “real” to me.
|Me being paddled by Danny for “School Swats” on Realspankings.com|
At home, when Malignus is going to spank me, I’m usually expected to get into position without being directly told. At this point in our D/s relationship, a considerable amount can be communicated silently, and hesitation is usually met with just “the look.” Part of getting into position involves baring. It’s not something we ever talk about. It just happens. A couple of times, he’s started spontaneously spanking me and has sort of pulled me into position and pulled my panties down rather roughly before continuing, but that’s certainly the exception. This works for me, especially in our relationship. I think that part of the reason why I like baring is because it makes me more vulnerable and it’s usually something which I do myself. This makes it part of my active submission, and helps a great deal towards my acceptance of a spanking.
In other scenes, though, I can really enjoy having my panties pulled down for me. In a scene that was recently released on Northern Spanking, there are a few shots of Stephen Lewis pulling my panties up to expose my sit spots first, and then down to spank me entirely bare. They’re some of my favorite spanking photos of myself now. Something about the way in which he’s pulling the fabric puts me right back into that headspace, and I can feel the sudden rush of vulnerability that comes from realizing that my panties are coming down. Every time I look at these, I shiver with delightful fear:
|Me being spanked by Stephen Lewis, from Northernspanking.|
At parties, I often play with my panties still on, especially with people that I don’t know. This is because I don’t necessarily want a spanking to hit all my buttons when I’m just getting to know someone. I need to have trust in order to have vulnerability. I need to have a reason to feel safe with a spanking that feels very real and intense. It’s not a rule that I always want it this way all the time.
It’s funny: despite all the things I’ve written about on this blog, all the videos I’ve done and all the experiences I’ve had, this is the post that has been the hardest for me to write. It makes me squirm a little. It makes my tummy feel a bit funny. It hits on something very key to my spanking experience, and makes me blush a little, sort of the way that I still have trouble saying the phrase “bare bottom spanking” aloud sometimes. There’s something a bit cute about that shyness, I guess, but it does make me a little bit awkward. As a result, this post will be shorter than usual, but will have taken me over twice as long to write. C’est la vie.
What are your thoughts on baring? Is it an integral part of your kink? Does it make you uncomfortable? Do you associate it with intimacy? Am I the only one who finds it slightly embarrassing to talk about? I want to know. ♥
This is one of your best posts to date, and you’ve have several incredibly good posts 🙂
Yes, baring the bottom is integral to my enjoyment. I appreciate that some folks like the ritual and slow reveal for buildup, but I really prefer to start all my scenes on the bare whenever possible. I’m very grateful for the trust my play partners give me in allowing me that and do my best to be worthy of that continued trust. And yes, I love talking about it. 😉 Sometimes it can really enhance a scene to whisper in a bottom’s ear “I’m going to slowly take down your panties and spank your lovely bare bottom”.
Thanks! I’m glad to hear that you enjoyed the post.
to me i see nothing wrong with baring my butt some people might say the spanking be more effectived if it on bare butt so hurt more i dont know but i think i would have no problem if iwas order to do that
to me i think act of pulling down pants /panties/underwear yourself can be embrassing if have do it before your spanker can be embrassing cause you know you have to bare your butt to be spanked and have no chocie it was spanker want even same feeling as if the spanker pull down your pants to spank your bare butt
bare butt spanking to me is alway what some people when younger reember some when kids made had gottne spanked on bare so now an adult come nautrally to them. but still embrassing
Thanks for your comment, and for weighing in. 🙂
I think baring removes an important psychological barrier making the spankee feel more vunerable and the spanker more in control.
Very true! Thanks for commenting!
I was nodding along with this post. I totally get what you mean about baring being a very ritualistic part of a spanking and increasing the level of intimacy that can be involved. For that reason, I too don’t play bare with everyone right off the bat. When I am more connected with someone, I get that butterflies in my stomach feeling every time they yank them down. I can get that when I’m told to be prepared and take them down myself as well.
I’m glad you related! The word “ritualistic” is important to the whole thing. I really like the things which make a scene feel “right,” but I can’t always described why that is. That’s totally part of it!
Taking it a step further, I’ve reached the point where I not only want to be bared then bare, but I want to be completely naked over her left thigh while her right leg is locked over the back of my knees and my right wrist is firmly pinned to the small of my back.
I describe my needs with this acronym: R.U.M.P.=Ritualistic, Unrelenting, Maternal, Punitive. Now, the maternal and punitive part are subjective and specific to roleplay.
Punitive it’s not, except as part of the scene’s eroticism. Maternal depends on the agreed upon prelude and follow through. It’s all delicious and addictive and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Love your blog, Alex, and your intimately expressed sentiments and reactions to your orientation and participation in the scene. -JJ
Hi Alex …very interesting post, great Blog. Thanks. Only ever bare for me. As a little girl growing up, I had a very strict father, and those early experiences, ignited my spanking interests. As a last- resort punishment only, he would smack my bare bottom with a light, rubber slipper. I’ve never forgotten the outrageous sting ! My shorts and undies were always pulled down, no exceptions. He never smacked through clothes. Same for my sister too. And as a sub today, I can’t dovorce this stern but loving up-bringing from my kinks. I have no regrets, my father was wonderful…just terribly strict. That’s also true for some girly friends who had similarly discipline-oriented domestic regimes. But also in contrast, many girl friends were not spanked growing up and now have their own preferences. I re-enact my childhood Princess spankings in role-play. So yes, has to be bare botty for me ! LB