Christmas was a thing, wasn’t it?
I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas! I hope you were all warm and safe and happy, and surrounded by the people that you love.
Personally, I had a kind of quiet Christmas at my family’s home. I got a couple of really nice gifts, a couple of very strange gifts and my aunt entirely forgot me and gave everyone else really nice gifts while giving me nothing. My mother and I fought because I wanted to use seasoning in the food during Christmas dinner and she wanted to serve a lot of bland and boiled things and she ended up winning.
My grandmother, who is ninety three and not particularly well (and a large part of the reason that I’m here for such a long period of time) spent a lot of time introducing herself to me. She insisted that I’m not Alex and wouldn’t believe anyone who tried to tell her otherwise. At one point, she told me that I must be the same age as her granddaughter, but that she doesn’t come visit her much and she hasn’t seen her in a long time. She did recognize me once, on Christmas morning, and that was a relieving feeling. It was shortly followed by her asking where basically every deceased member of our family was. We simply responding by telling her that they aren’t here, but the the reminder that they aren’t was bitter (especially G, of course).
I got to talk to Paul on Christmas Eve, which was the best part of the holiday for me. My mom is very invasive to my privacy, which is part of what makes being at home very hard for me, but I was able to steal away into the room where I’m staying to skype with him. It was similar to the way that I used to sneak off into my bedroom in our old house in order to watch spanking videos as a teen, except now this whole world isn’t just a fantasy one for me: it’s where I live. It reminded me of how hard it would be for my teenage self to believe just how awesome my life is these days, and how lucky I am to get to do something I love so with such wonderful people. Despite my great dislike of this situation, it was also strangely hot to whisper “Shhhh! My mom will hear you!” when Paul said inappropriate things to me.
In other spanking related news, and in what seems to by my family’s time honored tradition, I received something that would make a very good implement. This time, nestled among a few bath products, I received this gem:
It’s always awkward when you get a gift like that from a family member. I later opened it up to look at it and had to sort of clumsily run it through my hair like The Little Mermaid encountering a fork at dinner: I *think* this is what people use this for, right? I had to resist the urge to smack it against my hand, which is the only thing that felt natural to do with it!
I got sick shortly after Christmas and haven’t done too much, hence the fact that it took me five days to finish this post! I don’t mean to make it sound like I don’t care about my family or enjoy spending time with them: it’s just challenging right now. I apologize for being so glum, but things will perk back up soon. I’m hopeful that I can steal away from my family to visit a few friends in the coming days. And soon I’ll be back to Los Angeles, where I’m planning to see a bunch of my wonderful friends there right away. I’ll be shooting with Chelsea Pfieffer for Good Spanking upon my return, too! I haven’t shot for Good Spanking since my first month of spanking modeling so I’m really looking forward to doing that!
I hate to be a bother, but if you haven’t voted for me as Spankee of the Year yet, please consider doing so now! It would certainly cheer me up if I won!
A much more spanking heavy post coming soon! ❤︎
I realized that I left a very important announcement off my blog: Heather came back!
In case you haven’t been following along, Heather is one of my best friends and a fellow spanko bottom. I met her through Malignus over fetlife, and she was actually the first person outside of LA that I met from the internet when we visited her in Northern California on my way back from visiting a girlfriend up there. The two of us got along swimmingly, and a friendship that I hope I’ll have for the rest of my life was born. She came to LA to help me move to South Dakota, and because of changing situations in her life, she ended up staying out here with Malignus and I for two months. Now she’s back, and she’ll be with us for a few more months. It’s VERY nice having her here. We have a lot of fun together, she helps me with girl stuff, we get spanked together and we decided to start making videos together.
Long before I ever thought I’d be a spanking model, Heather and I made a video in which she spanked me with celery stalks. It was the first video of a spanking I was ever involved in. We did this because it was a weird train of connections and inside jokes and we’re just strange girls like that. We’ve since then talked quite a bit about other videos that we could make that included strange implements. You have to remember that the two of us go through pretty much any store and find things that we think could be used to spank someone. It’s like a hobby for us.
From these ideas, we created the idea for “Does This Hurt?!” It’s a mini-series of free spanking videos in which Heather and I will spank each other with strange pervertables to see which ones hurt and which ones don’t. We’ve only filmed the first episode thus far, but you can expect things ranging from the “almost normal” to the “0_0” (but nothing gross. Don’t worry!)
Our first video is entitled “Trout” and features a cutting board which was purchased at a Sioux Falls area thrift store. I can’t tell you why, but I think that it is the most freaking hilarious thing ever. I can’t stop saying the word “trout.”
Please enjoy the first video. We’re aiming to release one per week.
I’ve often daydreamed about a world where spankos took up enough of the market that pervertables marketed themselves towards us. Imagine a world where you could read the blurb on the back of the a hairbrush and have it point out that besides having high quality bristles for hair brushing, the spanking surface on the back is made of durable wood for an excellent combination of sting and thud.
Alas, this isn’t the case. No one seems to want to admit why, exactly, people prefer wooden spoons to the plastics and silicone coated one (I’m not even ALLOWED to use wooden spoons in the kitchen!) and the world seems to think that there are people who wash themselves with brushes in the shower (weird).
There is, however, some marketing being done to spanko bottoms in a very tricky way. The people who make pervertables are trying to sell more by subtly convincing us that they won’t be so bad. The first time I noticed this trend was when I saw a particular bathbrush show up on several people’s fetlife profiles. I recently purchased this for five dollars at Walmart:
The sticker reads “Soft and Cruelty Free!”
No. Incorrect. I haven’t been hit with it yet, but I know for a fact that bathbrushes are neither of those things. I don’t think someone could make a bathbrush spanking nice if they tried.
I noticed the next one in a local cooking store and made a very scrunchy face indeed at the false advertising:
The brand on this wooden turner is “SoftWorks.” This doesn’t even make sense. It doesn’t have a soft and cushy handle. It isn’t meant to be used on something soft. It’s wood, for the love of all that is reasonable! Wood isn’t soft. I suppose wood chips could be soft, the kind one would use to line a rabbit hutch or something, but that’s the only time that wood can ever be described as anything other than hard.
Finally, my spanko-sister, PeachyKeane, sent me this as part of a care package:
I understand that this is a plastic hairbrush, but that doesn’t make it ouchless. If I’ve learned one thing in my spankolife, it’s that anything with a handle can be used for spanking and anything that can be used for spanking can be made to hurt. Even things that technically can’t be used for spanking (like a dishtowel) can be made to hurt. Don’t fall for this trap. I bet it can still be ouchful.
It’s a pretty clever method of increasing sales, though. A female bottom in the market for a brush for her hair could very well want to pick one that can’t also be used on her poor, innocent bottom. In the past, I’ve avoided this by choosing pink and girly hairbrushes that Tops wouldn’t want to touch. I’ve heard that other girls enjoy those entirely round brushes that have no spanking surface at all. Now that I’ve purchased four bathbrushes, when I put them all next to each other, the one that tells me it’s cruelty free DOES seem a little less terrifying. I’m not buying the “soft” wood, though. Screw you, wooden spoons. I’ve had more than enough of you recently! (Does this attitude come from a recent experience that has left me with residual soreness? Why yes it does.)