I realized that I left a very important announcement off my blog: Heather came back!
In case you haven’t been following along, Heather is one of my best friends and a fellow spanko bottom. I met her through Malignus over fetlife, and she was actually the first person outside of LA that I met from the internet when we visited her in Northern California on my way back from visiting a girlfriend up there. The two of us got along swimmingly, and a friendship that I hope I’ll have for the rest of my life was born. She came to LA to help me move to South Dakota, and because of changing situations in her life, she ended up staying out here with Malignus and I for two months. Now she’s back, and she’ll be with us for a few more months. It’s VERY nice having her here. We have a lot of fun together, she helps me with girl stuff, we get spanked together and we decided to start making videos together.
Long before I ever thought I’d be a spanking model, Heather and I made a video in which she spanked me with celery stalks. It was the first video of a spanking I was ever involved in. We did this because it was a weird train of connections and inside jokes and we’re just strange girls like that. We’ve since then talked quite a bit about other videos that we could make that included strange implements. You have to remember that the two of us go through pretty much any store and find things that we think could be used to spank someone. It’s like a hobby for us.
From these ideas, we created the idea for “Does This Hurt?!” It’s a mini-series of free spanking videos in which Heather and I will spank each other with strange pervertables to see which ones hurt and which ones don’t. We’ve only filmed the first episode thus far, but you can expect things ranging from the “almost normal” to the “0_0” (but nothing gross. Don’t worry!)
Our first video is entitled “Trout” and features a cutting board which was purchased at a Sioux Falls area thrift store. I can’t tell you why, but I think that it is the most freaking hilarious thing ever. I can’t stop saying the word “trout.”
Please enjoy the first video. We’re aiming to release one per week.
I was looking through the front page of my blog and I discovered something extremely unsettling: there were no photos of my butt on it! Fortunately, I have the ability to fix that :P.
Please enjoy these sample frames from my shoot with Chelsea Pfeiffer. The videos and photosets appear on Good Spanking: you can find me right on the front page. You should all be able to recognize my butt by now, right? I really recommend that you go check it out: it was a lot of fun to shoot, and it’s one of the videos that has the strongest representation of me as myself, since it’s a reality shoot where I’m not playing a character. I love scenes (and videos) like that: you start with two spankos. I’m a bottom, he or she is a top, and therefore, there’s a spanking. Thinking about it makes me want to be over a lap right now (oh wait, that’s always the case, isn’t it?)
|Or over an ottoman. That works too. Bare bottomed and over SOMETHING, please!|
I guess I kind of lied when I said that I was back to my regular rate of posting. I’m still pulling three posts this week, but that’s the minimum that I like to do. I don’t enjoy accepting the minimum effort from myself, so I’ll try and keep sticking with things, especially because I am not entirely sure if I’ll be able to update while I’m on the road to South Dakota or not.
I’m stressed. I’ve still got a lot to do before I leave. Insecurities and fears have been popping up, surviving longer than I’d normally let them due to the climate of anxiety and vulnerability that comes with change. I’m not looking forward to saying “goodbye” to anyone, let alone everyone. Still, I’m overwhelmingly excited. I’m going to have a wonderful life with Malignus. We’re going to have an amazing time on the trip out to my new life. I’ll never have to listen to him tell me that he doesn’t have any clean dishes or food in the house ever again! 😀
Yesterday, I shot with Chelsea Pfieffer for the first time. She was amazingly nice and friendly. She’s the kind of person you just want to hug. The shoot was very straight-forward: it was a “Chelsea Spanks” reality shoot. The part of modeling that I’m the least good at is acting like someone other than myself when I’m in a position which is very true to my inner self, so being able to just be me while shooting a video was amazingly refreshing. Chelsea and I intend to work together again in the future when I fly back to visit Los Angeles (and to work with other amazing LA people). I’ve yet to meet someone I dislike when working on a spanking shoot: everyone has been amazingly kind, friendly and enthusiastic. I’m really digging spanking modeling. I just can’t get enough.
|I’m amazed if there are any people who have not yet tired of self taken photos of my butt in the mirror besides me. I am totally in love with my own butt.|
Chelsea spanked me for a half hour straight, which further proved to me that I have absolutely NO sense of time when I’m over a lap. It seemed like a few minutes! I know that I’ve had spankings that were confirmed to be very long by either knowing the time before and after or having another person around to let me know which had the same feeling: time just flew by because I was really happy to be where I was and I was doing the thing I adore. There have been other spankings, especially disciplinary ones, which seemed like they lasted for about an hour, but in reality were just a few minutes long. It’s probably related to the fact that there is some kind of temporal anomaly in the corner of my bedroom: time just slooooooows down there. 😛
Tangentially related to what I was talking about earlier (because my scene with Chelsea had an influence on this) I’ve decided that while I still think that I’m fairly hetero-aligned in terms of D/s, I am just as much of a pan-spanko bottom as I am a pan-sexual. When I was a child, my fantasies were always M/F. My first five years of spanking were exclusively M/F. Recently, I’ve been playing with girls and women as tops quite a bit, and it’s just as enjoyable for me. An open mind is a lovely thing: when I was just focused on males as tops, I was losing a lot of awesome options. F/F is pretty epic win for me, too.
Tonight, I’m going to the Halloween party at Threshold. It’s my last dungeon event before I leave LA. Even more bittersweetness. It’s going to be a lot of fun, though: all my LA people will be there, except Morri, who is currently out of the country. I didn’t even get to have a tearful goodbye! I miss you already, Morri!
I did my second spanking modeling shoot with Lily Starr Spanking at least a month ago, and somehow, I never got around to posting photos from it! Shame on me!
Lily and her partner, Robert Wolf, were ridiculously fun to shoot with. They are just awesome people to hang out with. I got there a bit earlier than our scheduled start time and I got to hang out and chat with them while Lily got ready. I’d known them over the internet for a while, and it’s always awesome to get to hang out in-person with your online friends. We shot three scenes: one of which hasn’t been released yet, the other two “One Last Chance” and “Waiting For It” are available now at Lily’s Clips for Sale and Spanking Library stores.
Some photos from “Waiting For It::
I got spanked:
|This video co-stars Lily’s teddy bear 😀|
And then caned:
Then off to bed with a sore bottom and Lily’s bear:
The second clip features me getting spanked by Robert.
First over my panties:
|It is super hard to get a good screen capture of a belt spanking. It moves so quickly!|
I was quite sore:
|Who would DO such a thing?!|
I’ll have photos from my third clip, “The Motivator,” once it is released. I’m shooting with Lily and Robert again before I move, and hope to do even more when I visit California in the future.
You know what the internet doesn’t have enough of on it yet? Pictures of my butt! I’m here to fight against this huge social problem, one post at a time!
Here, I’m getting handcuffed by the lovely Dana Kane:
This one is my favorite: The Spanking Court Disciplinarian (The Villain) just broke a full-size paddle on my poor butt!
And finally, here I am with the broken pieces in front of the height chart. This photo points out something very important: I shrank! I used to be a full 5’8″ when barefoot without even having to posture up or anything.
If I look a little spacey in this photo, it’s because I just had two sets of 100 strokes (per set) with a leather strap, followed by 200 strokes with a (well, really two, because the first one is in pieces) wooden paddle.
I’ll post a link to the videos once they are uploaded 🙂 I hope everyone enjoys their weekend!
I apologize for the relatively late hour at which I am making this post: I had a pretty busy day. Specifically, I shot with Spanking Court today, then spent the afternoon with one of my favorite friends from the scene, her Dom, and my vanilla boyfriend, R. Additionally, I’m helping my new roommate get settled in. All in all, a very nice, but busy, day.
I didn’t sleep particularly well last night: I tend to get jittery right before a spanking shoot. There are a lot of variables and unknowns involved in a shoot. When it comes to any kind of gig, I always worry about getting there on time and prepared: especially when working with someone for the first time, I often go over lists of things that need doing in my head rather obsessively when falling asleep the night before the shoot, and I often wake up in the night in a panic, thinking that it is much later than it actually is and that I’m already running late. When dealing with spanking modeling, this pattern of concern gets much stronger. I generally tend to worry that if I’m not on time and perfectly prepared I’m going to get spanked harder :P.
Despite these things, I woke up and got energized early in the morning and made my way over to Hollywood for my shoot. As soon as I met Cali and the rest of the Spanking Court team, I felt at ease. They were a lovely group of people. Everyone was extremely kind, friendly and considerate. They also had a bunch of really good food. That is always a plus. I relaxed and chatted, then got my hair and makeup done and was ready to shoot my first scene.
For those who aren’t familiar with Spanking Court (and if you aren’t, you should really check it out), it’s a site where cases are heard by a judge, who then hands out sentences in the form of either preventative or disciplinary spankings. I really enjoyed all the courtroom mis-en-scene. Their sets were really cool, and it was probably one of the only situations where one can have fun while wearing a orange jumpsuit :P. I never want to tell too much about the plot or details of a video before it is released, but I will share that got spanked three times. The final scene was a particularly long and hard spanking, and it was full of me crying. The type of scenes that I shot today were very natural for me: my character was a good girl who had gotten a bit out of hand and was repentant. That headspace is one of the most common for me in my real-life spanking activity, and, I must say, I rocked it ^_^.
Today was also the first time I was ever restrained for a spanking by anything other than the Top’s body (or, in some cases, the force of his will). Honestly, the only time that I even noticed that I was locked in place on the bench was when my hair got in my face and I couldn’t reach my hand up to move it! My attitude towards being spanked is generally very passive: I tend to relax into spankings rather than struggle against them.
The Villain, aka the Spanking Court Disciplinarian, was an awesome Top. He had excellent spanking technique and, perhaps more importantly, he created moods and headspaces that worked extremely well for each scene. His character was slightly antagonistic to me in the last scene, and he delivered lines that sent a shiver down my spine in an awesome way. He also broke a full size, wooden paddle of my butt:
|Everyone signed the paddle and gave it to me to take home.|
It’s the largest and meanest implement to meet its demise against my flesh to date. It’s also the first “official” spanking implement for me to break: until now, I’d only broken wooden spoons, hairbrushes and some weird plastic thing that I can’t exactly remember what it was supposed to be before Malignus started using it for spanking.
Speaking of butts that are known for breaking implements, I’m incredibly sad to announce that I did not get to meet Erica Scott today. She shot with Spanking Court later in the day than I did. It was my original intention to stay and hang out while others were shooting so that I could finally get a chance to meet her, but for various reasons, that wasn’t possible today. That was the only low point in my day, but I’m sure I’ll get a chance to meet up with her eventually.
I’m planning on shooting with Spanking Court again in the future, because I had such a wonderful time. I’m not sure when the content from today will be available on the site, but I’ll keep you posted ^_^.
I missed a couple of posts already! I was supposed to update on Saturday, but I was off shooting with Lily Starr Spanking, so I didn’t get one up that day. Then Tuesday brought a visit from a favorite play partner and by the time I was settling in for the evening, I entirely forgot my self-created responsibilities. Tisk, tisk! Certainly, things will be easier once I get more used to my posting schedule (and get extra content scheduled in advance :P). A bit over a week ago, I did my first spanking modeling shoot with Assume The Position Studios. I was extremely excited about it, and a little nervous, since I wasn’t sure what effect the camera would have on the atmosphere of the scene. I met Photodave at a coffee shop near the studio where we’d be shooting where I consumed a coke and a strawberry cupcake (I hadn’t eaten anything yet that day, and I find that I respond better to spankings when I have sugar in my system. Or maybe it’s just a positive emotional connection. Either way, it made me happy!) We walked over to the studio after chatting a bit and going over paperwork and then started going through my wardrobe. We hadn’t created any scenes in advance: it hadn’t really occurred to me that I should have been thinking about that. We ended up selecting a pair of panties and some knee socks for a few cute, glamourous, pre-spanking photos.
After that, I changed into a school girl dress and we got ready to do the scene. It’s fortunate for me that the appropriate way for me to be acting for the character I was meant to portray was nervous and unsure: since it was my first video, it took me a little bit to get “warmed up,” especially since a lot of the ways that I need to behave for a spanking video are different than the way that I’d act if I was just playing for my own purposes. The major thing is hiding my enthusiasm–– there have only been a few times in my life when I *haven’t* wanted a spanking, so playing a reluctant character requires quite a bit of acting on my part. What did not require acting, though, were my cries and squeals: the scene begins with me OTK (my favorite place to be!) and right away, the spanking was very firm and it certainly hurt. I don’t want to give away all the details (since I would, ideally, like you to buy the videos :P) but we moved through a considerable amount of implements: a hairbrush which met it’s untimely demise on my bottom, many beautiful, painful paddles from Kitty’s Exotic Paddles, the belt, a cane, a large and intimidating looking strap and finally a heavy wooden “ruler” that was very, very mean! During the final segment of the video I reached the point of sobbing: this is not particularly uncommon for me in any intense spanking situation with a “serious” atmosphere (even though it was a roleplay). My tears are never a sign of true distress, and I love sharing them. I was extremely excited that two photos (one posted by Dave and one by me) from this scene made Kinky and Popular on fetlife.
I was especially pleased that the photo depicting my tears did: the fact that I cry frequently is still an area where I expect (or fear) that I will receive judgement, so it was really positive for me to be able to share that and get such a good response. I look forward to shooting with Assume The Position Studios again in the future: I felt extremely at-ease when on set, and the spanking was blissfully painful. It left me sore for several days, especially on my sit-spot. Even though the spanking didn’t carry any emotional significance for me (besides the pleasure of being my first spanking modeling shoot) I was left in a relaxed and cheerful mood for a while. It seems that while I didn’t have a *bad* attitude before, it was adjusted to be even more pleasant by participating in my favorite activity.