2012 was a year in which a lot of things happened. In all, it was a good year, although it certainly had parts that were difficult and not enjoyable. That said, the good certainly outweighed the bad. I’m going to take a minute to reminisce about all the relevant things which happened, going month by month:
January in South Dakota was cold and bitter and it involved a lot of me staying indoors and playing Zelda, which, after considerable effort and lots of me getting hit with a cane, I beat it! I got lots of spankings and other enjoyable violence that night, including this lovely memory:
Malignus decided that he wanted to hit me on the thigh AGAIN and that this time, he wanted me to bring him the aforementioned spoon. I was hesitant to do so, but did not protest. Again, I bared my thigh, and this time I buried my face in a pillow. The pain of it made my head explode, pretty much. He hit me more than once, and I found myself rolling around and freaking out. I became so not concerned with my surroundings that I hit my head into the wall a bit, but I didn’t even care. Somehow, I found myself curled up in Malignus’ lap sobbing while he comforted me and reminded me that he loved me and that I’m a very good girl. I know it sounds horrible, and it was, but at the same time, I loved it. I loved how happy indulging his sadism made him. I love being pushed that far. I loved that I had (mostly) accepted something that I hate. Lying there while I regained my calm, I found myself in this sort of otherworldly state of comfort– entirely spent, but the vacant space where all the fight in me had been was filled with a warm and enjoyable sense of comfort.
My blog post about defeating it was the first time that I got a post included on Chross, which was full of excitement for me. In terms of blogging, I had a good month for other reasons as well. I posted a lot and wrote two posts that remain popular to this day: the post which WYO refers to as “Ass Care” and my post explaining my various motivations for crying from a spanking. I also stirred up a bit of controversy by complaining about the kind of comments which I hate. This post resulted in me actually losing a friend, which is kind of pathetic, if you ask me.
In February, my blog was named Blog of the Month at The Spanking Bloggers Network, of which I was very proud. I also got my driver’s license and became a real adult. 😛 Malignus and I had our first Valentine’s Day together as a couple and I got spanked lots and lots. Near the end of the month, I went to my first spanking related get together: a cabin party in Indiana. During this party, I met lots of people who would go on to become extremely important in my life for the first time: Ten, Drlectr, ellee and YS are at the top of that list. One of the nice things about blogging is having a documented record of events, so when something later turns out to have been a significant moment, I can look back at what I wrote about it at the time. Here’s the story of the first time YS spanked me:
We then went back up to the house and ellee and I got to work on our coloring. This was interrupted by YS giving ellee a strapping, and later, by him doing the same to me for the first time. Getting spanked by him was pretty exciting. It’s rare that I meet someone whose Dominance I immediately want to respect, but I felt that way about YS. I felt like calling him “Sir” almost immediately, making him only the fourth person I’ve habitually used an honorific with, ever. When I got in position for him to spank me, he told me to ask for it (I’d just seen the way that ellee had done this). In most circumstances, when someone other than Malignus gives me an order (outside of things we’d discussed for a scene) I get all scrunchy faced. I might even respond with “don’t you fucking tell me what to goddamn do!” But when YS told me to ask for my spanking, I didn’t even hesitate before saying “Please spank me, Sir.” It’s rare but lovely to find someone whose Dominance inspires me, and it made playing with him very enjoyable. He spanked me quite hard with a London Tanners’ strap. It was lovely.
Also at this party, Malignus uprooted a small tree and hit me with it. I also got hit with a Sjambok for the first time and lived to tell the tale.
In March, Heather came back to South Dakota to stay with us for a few more months and it was wonderful. It was also in this month that we received a sjambok of our very own and I was very stupid and got myself into a bunch of trouble of the day that it arrived. Near the end of the month, I headed to Los Angeles for my first visit since moving and shot with a couple of spanking video companies.
My trip to Los Angeles bridged into April and I really enjoyed the rest of it. After that, April was a pretty slow month for me. I had some health issues and took considerable downtime.
In May, I traveled to California again to shoot for Sternwood Academy Volume 1. It was an adventure full of epic win, and one of the best times I’ve ever had on a shoot. I got to meet awesome people there like Ela Darling and Cheyenne Jewel (Pictured above with me and Heather). Later that month, Heather left to go to Texas with her boyfriend who had returned from Korea. It was a sad time, and it took a lot of adjusting to not having her around.
The major highlight of June was the Texas All State Spanking Party, which Malignus and I attended. This was both of our first national spanking party, and we had an amazing time. During this party I first “got together” with Drlectr and Ten, although I was somewhat shy about this and didn’t blog about it at the time. I also got to meet Pandora Blake and Amelia Jane Rutherford for the first time at this party, and that was really wonderful. I can’t wait to see them again when I go to England next year. I participated in my first “Naughty Schoolgirl Party” at TASSP, described here:
First, we had to line up to have our skirts measured by Dana Spect. The skirt I was wearing was a real school skirt, and it came down nearly to my knees, unlike many of the sexy skirts other girls had on. After holding a ruler up to me, Dana lead me to the front of the room and announced that I was an example of a good girl and that my skirt was what the other girls should aim to look like. I was beaming with pride. Praised in front of everyone? Yes please!
I did quickly realize that being a goody-goody-Hermione-Granger type wasn’t going to get me very much attention with everyone else throwing pieces of paper, launching darts and sneaking beer into the classroom, though, so I figured I had to do something at least a little naughty at a naughty school girl party. I had a package of Fun Dip in my purse which Malignus had won for me the last time we’d gone to the arcade together, so we started eating that very obviously while we were supposed to be learning. Heather, Zoe and I were quickly pulled aside and given OTK spankings and warned not to eat any more candy in class. It was the first time I’ve ever been spanked in front of a live audience before, since a group of other guests were gathered in the back of the room watching the proceedings. I kept myself in the “performer” part of my brain that I use when doing videos and made sure to kick and squirm! It was lots of fun.
On a much less enjoyable note, June was also the month during which I was outed to my family of origin, something which created a struggle which is still somewhat in effect now, although things are much better than they were.
That’s the first six months! To make this post more manageable, the second half of the year will be described tomorrow.
The other day, I noticed that things had gotten out of hand with my lack of blogging. Blogging had ceased to be a regular thing and become something that happened once in a while. I, of course, blamed this largely on the fact that I’m almost never home these days, but even that isn’t really an excuse. I can write when I’m busy. It just takes a certain level of dedication. Fortunately, I have a fairly new Boss of Me: my bestie, ellee’s husband, YS (his name is YoggSothoth on fetlife, but I find that too long to type). Included in my new set of rules for this relationship is the fact that I’ll be updating at least twice a week. I’ll also point out that YS has given me bunny related coloring as an assignment and this, my friends, is why Poly D/s works: because that’s the kind of thing that makes Malignus die inside.
That said, I was very excited to see that my first half of my adventures in Colorado (which took place over a month ago, now, I’m ashamed to say) was featured on Chross the weekend after I posted it. Unfortunately, I started to write my next post while traveling home from my second Denver excursion. Following Denver, I was home for a few days with my most beloved Malignus. I spent as much of that time as I could with him, and the rest cleaning things up, organizing and preparing for my next trip. I then left for Chicago Crimson Moon, and then a day off at Ten Amorette’s place. I arrived home late Tuesday night and had a crazy first week back with my attempts to get caught up on a lot of things and settle back into the home routine.
When I left off, I believe I had told you all about how a very mean Robert had cut switches, and how we had brought them back to the house where Malignus had also used said dreaded arboreal implement on me. After he finished with me, I’m pretty sure he also switched Heather W. He then started looking around for Amoni, but couldn’t find her. ellee informed him that she had broken her ankle and gone to the hospital. Several minutes later, she was found hiding in the secret room under the stairs. I suppose she intended to stay there for the entire party. It wasn’t the worst plan, really. ellee probably could have brought her food to keep her alive for the rest of the weekend. Unfortunately, in a house with a room called “the secret room,” it’s pretty easy to figure out where someone might go for a hiding place. She was quickly dragged out and brought to justice over the ping pong table. It turned into quite an event, with many people sitting on the beanbag chairs in that were intended for watching TV in order to view much more interesting programming. Other girls were enlisted to hold Amoni’s hands and feet, as she’s a very active bottom (“This isn’t jazzercise!” Malignus had exclaimed earlier while Amoni was getting spanked by Robert and kept kicking her feet up). After Amoni had been thoroughly dealt with, she got hugged by just about everyone. Later, ellee was also corrected for her part in attempting to create a subterfuge regarding Amoni’s location. 🙂
Shortly after that, we all kind of plopped on the bean bags to talk and hang out. Malignus still had his switch in hand. This is something that he tends to do at a party– he’ll just hold onto an implement for a while. I suppose it’s a “just in case” kind of thing, or maybe it’s meant to intimidate the heck out of all the girls in a room (which works on me, at least). I was sitting in a dress, with my legs visible and I had one of my terrible thoughts. Sometimes, the morbid curiosity of something really gets the best of me. As much as I know I’m not going to like what I discover, I sometimes want to know how something feels badly enough that I’ll ask for something downright awful. Besides, active submission is always a good thing, and I’ve always gotten a lot out of asking for the most awful of things, when I can muster the courage to do so. Anyway, I asked him to hit me on the front of my thighs with the switch. He did so three times, making me cry and yelp quite a bit. There was hugging, and I rubbed my welts, feelings sufficiently like I now knew what that felt like. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the differences between switches and canes of various types, and I think I’ve finally come to the conclusion that switches are not as bad as nearly all canes, but are very similar in sensation. The exception to this, of course, is when a switch is not entirely “clean” and has little nodules on it which scratch or tear the skin, or when the switch in question is made of rawhide, which is entirely unacceptable. I was going over these thoughts in my mind after my thigh switching when Malignus decided that there was “too much of a gap” between two of the welts. Instead of fixing this “problem” with the switch, he got a rattan cane and ordered me to lie back. I believe there was extremely minor protesting (mostly sad faces, perhaps a few whimpers) but I did as I was told.
The pain was considerable. It filled my body with adrenaline immediately. I think I sort of folded onto myself.
“Oh, no! I missed and hit you right on your welt from the switch!” Malignus said. (Note: he did not actually miss. He never actually misses. “Misses” are just an excuse to give me extra strokes.) Being as good as I could, I lay still for another stroke, this one seeming much harder than the last. I sat still catching my breath a bit before getting lots of hugs time and cuddles. It was one of “those” things. I just hated it while it was happening. It was the worst thing ever. I wasn’t even that fond of the physical feeling afterwards. But everything about it felt perfect. I felt wonderfully submissive and very Dominated (which are, to me, distinct feelings, since I can feel submissive all on my own) as well as warm with affection, adrenaline and endorphines. I can’t exactly describe why I love that sort of thing so much, but I do.
|I think that in the upper right hand corner, Malignus is threatening to poke the welts with the corner of his cigarette box.|
Another thing which was super entertaining, whose location in time I can’t properly place, was when Heather W. spanked me. For those of you who don’t know, Heather W (or Parttimelondoner, or PTL) is a minor boss of me. I say “minor” because she doesn’t really boss me full time. She just occasionally gets the urge, and when she gets the urge her bossiness is very real. She has also been a wonderful role model for me, as she is older and more experienced in things, has great social skills and is very talented at knowing when and where “bling” is appropriate. Anyway, she had always threatened to spank me with a flip flop, so on the way to the cabin from the airport, she and ellee, YS and Zoey stopped at Walmart to pick up a few extra things. One of those was a “special” pair of flip flops for Heather to spank me with. Apparently there was a lot of consideration put into this, and she made sure not to get one which was “too mean” for me. Later at the cabin, she sat down next to Malignus on the coach and I lay over both their laps while she spanked me with the flip flop.
After this was complete, Heather handed the flip flop off to Malignus, and that happened. Yep, the scariest man on Earth spanked me with a fluffy, pink flip flop. And it still hurt.
|Over panties with kitties on them, no less! Parties are different than the real world. 😛|
A few days after the cabin trip was over, I was leaving for a trip to Los Angeles. When I pointed this out to Lily and Robert, they invited me to go to Disneyland with them, and this actually appeared that it would work out! It was something that I got excited about a few times a day. Then, one night, Robert pulled me upstairs to spank me (or I pounced him and demanded he beat me. Somewhere in the middle of those two things, I guess). I know that he enjoys listening to my pathetic wails and, most of all, my crying, so I didn’t hold back. Besides, he spanks hard, and it’s well documented that a hairbrush on the back of my thighs has long been my nemesis. So, he spanked me hard and murdered my thighs thoroughly and I cried and sniffled. When it was over and he stood me up for a hug, he tussled my hair and said “We’re going to Disneyland!”
Best. Aftercare. Ever.
|I had *bruises*! Rare!|
On the last night, we were all spread out in the cabin, doing our own things. Then someone suggested that we make s’mores, and I got everything together. I actually didn’t know much about roasting marshmallows, so YS took the time to show me how to do it perfectly. I always feel special and loved when someone is teaching me something. Unfortunately, once I got some perfect marshmallows going, no one was coming over to eat s’mores. I got mad. And I got Toppy. And, apparently, slightly crazy. I yelled out to the house the following message: “THE FIRST RULE OF S’MORES IS YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP AND COME HERE AND EAT S’MORES.”
Only one person did.
I’m not good at being the boss. -_-
A final, lovely memory is getting one of the nicest spankings of my life. At one point, YS put me over his lap and gave me a hand spanking that must have lasted 40 minutes. I just let go of all other things and blissed out over his lap. I felt safe and comfortable and protected while being in that most vulnerable of positions. He alternated between being rhythmic and soothing and hard enough to make me squirm and I floated away into one the happiest of places. It was really one of the nicest things ever. I’m constantly fascinated and amazed by how much awesome variety can come under the heading of “spanking.” The same activity can last 40 minutes and make me coo or bring genuine tears to my eyes in five seconds or less, and I love all of it (in it’s own way).
Anyway, the cabin was a great success, except for the fact that getting everyone back to the airport was a huge fiasco and we bought way too much food. But, if those were the biggest problems of the weekend, I’m pretty okay with that. ♥
I’m very behind on things again, unfortunately. Time for a little catch up.
At the end of September, I organized a cabin party in the mountains of Colorado. I’d been planning this for a long time, and it had caused me various sorts of stress. Finding the right cabin was extremely difficult: we were originally planning on having a group of twenty people, so we needed a big space, and because it was a spanking party, we needed a place that was secluded enough for us to thoroughly enjoy the great outdoors. My very dear friend, Amoni, was priceless in helping me with this, as she lives in the area. She went around and checked places out for me during the planning stages. Finally, we found one that was perfect: big enough for everyone, beautifully designed, chock full of amenities and, most importantly, in the middle of nowhere. I’d assembled an all-star group of friends to come out, including Amoni, Lily Starr and Robert Wolf, Heather Wayland, ellee and YoggSothoth, Whooperine, WearYouOut and LilLawBrat, -lostkitten and locals and newcomers to my friends group, JoeDimWit, DarkSteven and DarkStevensGirl. Obviously, there was also me and Malignus. 🙂
There were, of course, lots of other people I would have liked to have there in addition, including BradD, who was scheduled to come but suffered from medical problems and needed surgery during the party, which was incredibly disappointing for everyone, but also Ten Amorette and Drlectr and Beth Eisley, who all had other engagements that weekend. The group we did have, though, was just awesome. Everyone got along. There was no drama. The only tears were caused by spankings. People bonded and made new friends. I felt kind of like a huge winner for bringing everyone together.
The first night that we arrived was surprisingly relaxing. I gave people tours of the cabin as they got there, and we located and hid in the SECRET ROOM that had been advertised on the website and which we had all chatted about in advance quite a bit on our google group where we got to know each other. This was actually pretty easy to find, but I was still pleased with it. There was also a copious amount of hugging that first night. I was just so overjoyed to see everyone. I was constantly bouncing around. When ellee and YS arrived, we exchanged some presents that we had collected for each other, because we’re the kind of besties who get each other cute things. ellee is really good at buying presents. I was overjoyed. In the middle of mini-Christmas, though, YS came into the room with an implement and a semi-serious look on his face. Heather, ellee, YS and -lostkitten had carpooled from the airport together, and they had taken longer than I determined acceptable, so I got a little beyond my bounds and sent a text to Heather scolding YS for getting everyone lost and taking too long. This was about to catch up to me in the form of my first spanking of the party. My sense of self preservation must not have been unpacked yet, though, because when he said “You got a little mouthy there, Alex” I responded with “My mouth was not involved! I was texting!”
Surprisingly, this did not save me, and I got ten firm swats, followed by a very nice hug and more presents. Have I mentioned that YS and ellee are pretty much my favorite people ever to live? Yes. That.
We grilled a variety of burgers and hot dogs for dinner, went in the hot tub and enjoyed the pleasure of one and other’s company for the first several hours of the evening. Then, later, we moved to the downstairs and the spanking began in full. A lot of this took place with girls bending over the ping pong table (which I suppose is appropriate, because it *is* designed for use with paddles!) and a lot of the play was done fairly publicly. That first night, someone was showing off a London Tanner’s strap of some sort and Malignus decided that he wanted to try it on me, so I went over the table and experienced that rather thoroughly. I scrunch my face at leather. It is not my favorite thing. There’s something undeniably nice about getting spanked in front of a bunch of people who like you, though. There was a lot of moral support, praise for being a good girl and holding still, and general “awwwwww”ing, especially when I shed a few tears. Shortly thereafter, Robert got Lily in the same position with a number of straps and he made her more colored than I’d ever seen her before! It’s really fun to watch Robert spanking someone who isn’t me.
ellee had special markers that allowed us to color on the windows and then just wipe it off, so there was window coloring, and therefore much rejoicing. Then Malignus found this stupid plastic snake that we have in our implement bag. I bought it as a joke for a potential “Does This Hurt?” video with Heather Green a long time ago, but we promptly discovered that YES, THIS HURTS. It’s a mofo, no other word for it. Stingy and weight bearing. It leaves these little lines of agony where it lands. Malignus got most of the females in the room with it in various locations. Stupid snake.
It’s actually incredibly difficult to write a chronology of the weekend, because a lot of things happened at once, it’s been a little while, there were 15 different stories being told at once and because many things happened that were very personal for me. I’ll just be skipping around a lot.
We had a lot of great times where a bunch of girls would glomp on the girl who was getting spanked at the moment and hold her hands, stroke her hair, snuggle her, et cetera. It was a sort of house-wide version of the Moral Support Spanking from the last cabin party that I went to, where ellee snuggled me while Malignus spanked me very hard. During these moral support sessions, Amoni frequently called out “You got this!” to support the spankee. It has since become “a thing.”
Sometime on the second day YoggSothoth got me pretty thoroughly with a rawhide switch (which I hate) that WearYouOut and LilLawBrat (who I love despite this) somehow thought it was a good idea to bring with them. Afterwards, my skin was a little nicked up, as is sometimes the case with switchings, I get. Fortunately, ellee is a doctor, so after her husband finished creating my wounds, she easily tended to them and had me back in perfect playing shape (besides being super sore, of course).
|Post switching marks!|
We also had lots of fun times in the hot tub at night, including exciting adventures in Alex taking her shirt off. This lead to me getting spanked in the hot tub (go figure) and one night, upon my return inside, I discovered a group of Tops sitting around talking. Apparently it had somehow become “a thing” that girls returning from the hot tub were to receive a round robin style spanking from everyone in the living room. I was all dripping wet and kind of cold, so I was a little hesitant about this idea. None the less, the circle began with the switches: LilLawBrat and Amoni double teamed me while I lay over both laps at once. Then I moved over to Malignus, who, obviously, spanked me very thoroughly (this *is* my boyfriend that we’re talking about here). Immediately after that, I was over Robert’s lap, at which point I was building up tears. The circle finished with WearYouOut, who has the hardest hand of anyone who has ever spanked me. This broke the tear barrier, which made Robert say “Mmmmmm!”
|Photo by Amoni. You can sort of see where I’m patched up in one spot. You can also see that the color goes so far down my thighs that it basically goes out of frame. 😛|
The next morning, ellee, YoggSothoth, Robert, Whooperine, PTL and myself decided to go on a little nature walk. I was kind of okay with the fact that Malignus was sleeping at this time, since the last time I went on a nature walk with him at a spanking party, this happened:
|Yeah, he’s spanking me with a tree.|
We stopped at a cable spool so that the ladies could take turns bending over it while YS spanked us with his belt. Here’s me:
It was a most enjoyable outdoor spanking, and I really enjoy the way that YS uses a belt. It hurt without being a “this is miserable” kind of hurting. Having amazing underpants that were a gift from ellee didn’t make things worse, either! This particular set of spankings was also noteworthy because PTL got her very first outdoor spanking! I said it was like getting an achievement on PSN. Outdoor spanking unlocked!
We traveled on and came across a series of small, young birch trees. The area that I chose to get a cabin in happened to, entirely by chance, be largely without deciduous trees, so this was a bit of a rarity. As we viewed them, the Tops pointed out that they were very supple and swishy looking and would make excellent switches.
“Oh darn!” I exclaimed. “No one has a knife with them. What a shame. I guess we can’t have any switches.”
Robert pulled a knife out of his pocket. If life was a comic book, there would have been a “SNIKT” sound effect. My face looked like this: -_-.
Shortly after a large number of switches had been cut, we climbed up to a small tree house. We got inside and ellee and I received treehouse switchings. The joy of being in a treehouse and being spanked while viewing an incredible landscape almost took away the sting. Key word: almost.
|ellee got spanked a lot at this party 😛|
Once we got back up to the house with the switches, of course, Malignus got me with one, as well.
|Photo by Amoni again 😀|
This post is getting very long and filled with stories and photos. I have more of them, of course, but I feel like this a good stopping point for now.