Robert Wolf

It’s time for me to wrap up my Year in Review with the final few months! Hooray!


Bad Alex got me caned again. You will read about this in a moment.

September was a funny month. Paul arrived in Los Angeles, and I was overwhelmed with joy at this. Although we were together and I was extremely happy about this fact, our lives were still very much in a transition period. We were staying at Rafa and Zeki’s place and sleeping on a sofa-bed which was not really meant for long-term use as a bed. All of my things remained packed in my car and we were living out of suitcases. It wasn’t exactly ideal, but I was still happy. We were originally going to move into the same building as them, but decided to look into renting houses instead for a bit more privacy and a heightened feeling of domesticity. We found a place and went through all the infinite hassles associated with moving, and spent the rest of the month doing things like finding appliances and furniture and doing approximately a million and ninety eight loads of laundry (since everything smelled like a stuffy car). Finally, by the end of the month, we were basically moved in.

When we first arrived in Los Angeles, our playing was at the minimum, since we were not only staying in someone else’s space, but in a vanilla home. We still did sneak in a couple of scenes, though, including this one, which has been previously unshared:

One day, I was missing Bad Alex quite a bit so I decided to say hi to her. I did this by texting her the message “Suck a dick” because this is the way that Bad Alex and I treat each other.

Bad Alex is that friend.

Bad Alex and I then had some enjoyable banter and chatted a bit. Unbeknownst to me, however, she had sent Paul a carefully worded and very formal Fetlife message letting him know that I had “suggested that she do something very unsanitary” and that she was “concerned” about my status as a good girl if I continued using this sort of language. Anyone who had ever met Bad Alex would roll their eyes and groan at her attempt to make herself sound like the good one in this friendship. Unfortunately, at this point, Paul had never met Bad Alex.

I don’t mean to say that he actually believed that I was being bad, but he certainly wasn’t going to let a perfectly concocted scenario for me to be in (not for serious) trouble pass him by. Here began a very unfair development in my life in which Paul started “believing” whatever Bad Alex told him and conveniently looking in the other direction when she was antagonizing me. Most unfair thing ever. Harrumph!

On this particular afternoon, it just so happened that no one was in the place where we were staying except for the two of us. Admittedly, Bad Alex must have cared very much about me getting punished, since she put careful work into her tattling letter of lies and misrepresentation. Paul kept a straight face while he scolded me about not using such harsh language and treating my friends with more respect than that, then he marched me into the room in which we were staying and retrieved his cane from one of the suitcases. I hadn’t been caned by Paul since June, and my heart was aflutter with anticipation. Even when it’s a play punishment as opposed to real discipline, Paul takes a very serious attitude towards my correction and I felt sheepish and somehow, a bit shy when he instructed me to strip down to my panties and lie over the bed. Being undressed made me feel vulnerable, but it also made me feel more pacified, and I slipped into a comfortably submissive headspace. Where a moment ago, I had just been inches away from a tantrum at how unfair it was to listen to anything that Bad Alex said about me (or really, anything ever), I had given up on my protests and accepted the fact that, “fair” or not, I was going to be caned. First, I got a short but firm spanking to serve as a warmup, and I was shocked by how sensitive my thighs had become. Just a few sharp smacks to them made tears start to roll down my face. This was a good thing. I needed this, and I knew it.

This isn’t to say that I didn’t resist the caning which followed, because I certainly wiggled and cried out and came questionably close to breaking position.The strokes were fairly hard, and I felt the impact deep in my muscles. As I lay still and cried, I felt an enormous sense of relief, though. A lot of stress had accumulated in my life, and there’s nothing which reassures me more than being lovingly beaten. I felt tremendously secure, as painful, fiery reminders of how loved I am lit up my bottom and the backs of my thighs. I had entirely forgotten that I was being “punished” for my rude behavior towards my bad counterpart until all the strokes had been delivered and I was getting my requisite cuddles, when Paul reminded me that I was to take a picture of my welts and send it to her. On a certain level, I probably should have thanked her for facilitating a scene which had left me in such a good place, but I had too much pride for that, and I included many scrunchy faces in my message containing the above photo. But, I suppose I’ll say it here, what the hell. Bad Alex is a very good friend, and just like sometime I need to fall under her bad influence, I also sometimes appreciate all the effort that she puts into seeing me getting properly punished, even if it’s for things I didn’t do. ^_^


For some reason, I ended up drinking naked in my room during October CCM.

October was a very happy month, as it was the first one that we spent fully in our new home. Moving in was mostly done, and I had a chance to explore the neighborhood a bit more. Unfortunately, one day I tried to walk to Target and instead, ended up walking two plus miles in the wrong the direction without any water, on a hot day, and while I was wearing inappropriate footwear for doing miles of walking. I had to call Paul to come rescue me when I realized that my feet were about to bleed, although I knew that I would be in big trouble for my impromptu misadventure. This is what happened after he did:

“Are you mad?” I asked, my voice small and meek.”You’re going to be punished when we get home” was his only response. We drove back in silence. I could do nothing but think about how thoughtless this had been. I’d interrupted Paul’s working. I had entirely failed at taking care of myself. Tears ran down my face, and I sniffled a bit.

As soon as we got in the door, Paul turned to me and said “Go to your room.” I went into our bedroom and flopped on the bed. I didn’t want to stand up. My feet hurt too much. I was hot. I was tired. I was in big, big trouble. I lay there like a lump, doing an activity which really can’t be described as anything but “sulking.” In the seeming eternity (but actually one or two minutes) before Paul came in I could hear him moving around in the kitchen. Then I heard the sound of a cabinet being opened and shut again, and my heart began to pound.

There’s a shallow, white cabinet in the kitchen. It’s separated from the other kitchen cupboards and obviously original to the house, but it’s only about three inches deep. I’m not sure what it was used for, but it’s become the official storage place for some of our meanest implements.

I wanted to mope about the fact that I was about to be seriously corrected, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I knew that I deserved it. Still, my tummy hurt.
Paul finally came into the room holding a cane. I had sort of known that was going to be the end of this story from the moment that I realized that I had messed up so badly, but the reality of the situation was sinking in very quickly.

In addition to feeling upset about how thoughtless my actions were, I had been really focused on worrying that Paul was mad at me for inconveniencing him. Having to stop your work to go rescue a silly girl who got herself into a mess is bound to annoy anyone. But once he began to scold me, I realized that he was much more upset about the fact that something bad could have happened to me. I felt very loved as he lectured me about thinking before I did things and taking care of myself. I could feel how precious I am to him, and how he won’t let any harm come to me, even through my own poor judgement.

Then he ordered me over the bed and began to spank me. While technically a warmup, he started hard and furiously. In my tired, vulnerable state, I pretty instantly started to sob hard, offering absolutely no emotional resistance to the spanking. I needed it. I knew that.

I felt impossibly sore after the warm up, but this was probably mostly because of my mental state at the time. Then Paul ordered me to kneel up on the bed, which I did quickly. I kept my feet off the edge of the bed because they had gotten filthy as I was walking around on the dusty sidewalks in flip flops. Paul noticed this, too, and said “You’ll clean your feet after this,” which I quietly affirmed through my tears. “Get down on your elbows,” he told me, and this made me cry harder, but I did as I was told. This position means only one thing: strokes to the tender area where my thighs and bottom meet. Paul then tapped my bottom with the cane before simply saying “Ten.”

The first stroke startled me into some sort of clarity for a second, although after the initial crack, during that long moment when the pain begins to built and develop, I felt overtaken by hurting and began to cry again. The next two or three were quickly paced– no time for one to finish building before the next and I could make no attempt at processing them. I wailed. After five strokes, he gave me a little break, pressing his hand against the welts in the same motion that I do when a beating is over. The pressure seems to hold the pain in for a moment. I caught my breath, but didn’t slow my sobbing.

The next two strokes were to that aforementioned tender area. I did my best not to yell, but I felt an overpowering warmth: burning, biting, pinching, gnawing heat. The rest of the strokes came in quick succession, and after each one, my cries became louder and more desperate.

It’s a very good thing that we live in a house instead of an apartment. I’m….noisy.

When the whole thing was over, Paul immediately sat down on the bed and pulled me onto his lap, holding me close to him. I wiped tears all over my face in some attempt of cleaning myself up and apologized over and over. He stroked my hair and told me he forgave me.

October also brought Crimson Moon’s Halloween party, which was amazingly fun. There were a lot of extremely fun events, and the party had such a relaxed, drama-free environment. Drlectr and Mama Blue ran a “Detention Room” roleplay, and I loved waiting outside the “office” to be called in to be punished, being scolded and paddled by a very stern Principal Lectr and having Mama Blue witness the entire proceeding! There was also Trick-or-Treating, and Thursday Night, Bad Alex and I had a ton of fun hiding alcoholic drinks in our treat bags as we ran from door to door. The majority of the treats bore stickers, though, and every time you grabbed a stickered treat from the bag that your “friendly” neighborhood Top was offering you got spanked! In the end, we ended up taking Naughty Freckles to CP Court for putting so many damn stickers on the candy. Speaking of Court, Strict Dave gave his usual awesome performance, although the majority of the cases were against Bad Alex. At one point, she flipped someone off while on the stand and Strict Dave gave her “the seven foot strap” for contempt of court. That was quite impressive to watch!

At this party I also got to witness Robert Wolf proposing to Lily Starr, and their “scene marriage” which followed. At the time, Robert and I hadn’t been able to play together in about a year because our party schedules never seemed to line up, but afterwards, I assured him that he had made me cry plenty that weekend! They’re one of my all time favorite couples. It’s so obvious that they have boundless love and respect for one and other, and being around the two of them makes my heart so happy. My face was wet with happy, heartfelt tears by the time Yoni, who officiated the scene marriage, announced that Robert could “now spank the bride”!

I got an ear infection as the party drew to a close, and flying home with it was definitely not fun. I was pretty insistent that it was going to go away on its own and that I did not need medical attention, but eventually, I had to admit that it was one of the more painful things which had ever happened to me and I needed a doctor. Once I had antibiotics and eardrops, I was on the mend, but I was home sick on Halloween night. I was very glad I had gotten my Trick or Treating in beforehand!


This photo has nothing to do with the story I chose for this month, but it took place in November and I have no photo from the night in question!

November introduced a concept which was obviously fairly new to me: staying home. I spent the entire month in Los Angeles, and the next two weeks, too! This six week “at home” spell made for the longest time that I had been in one place all year, and it was a wonderful feeling. I did lots of sessions, a handful of shoots and Paul and I spent a lot of time working on our new project: Kitchen Sink Spanking. We did a lot of playing off-camera, too, including a very fun roleplay scene one evening which I hadn’t written about before:

One night, Paul and I were hanging out on the sofa hanging out, without any real plans for what we’d be doing with the rest of our evening. I had my planner out, probably because we’d been discussing when I had what going on. I use the same kind of day-planner that I did when I was actually in high school. I learned to organize my life with it very effectively then and I just never bothered to change. If it works, why mess with it? I pointed out to Paul that it had all sorts of handy information in the back: state capitols, frequently misspelled words and more. This turned into some impromptu quizzing, which I inedibly failed at (geography is my weakest subject, and despite being very good at writing, I sometimes kind of fail at spelling). This, of course, lead to me getting spanked. This was very fun, and there was no reason for it to stop there, so Paul started looking for other things to quiz me on.

“Well, if you’re going to ask me more questions, I’m putting on a uniform so we can do this properly,” I announced, and I went off to find one. Paul also changed, going for a serious look in a shirt and tie. We then began a roleplay which evolved totally organically, without us having to discuss what we’d be doing at all. It turned out that I had gotten thrown out of school for biting another student (guilty as charged, by the way, if the other student was Mila or Bad Alex, who I may or may not have bitten again just the other day) and I was being given in-home instruction during my suspension. I now had to take a test to see if I’d be permitted back to school based on my efforts while homebound. I’m pretty sure that Paul thought that I’d be able to answer most of the questions that he asked during the test, but I actually couldn’t. I think that English and American educations are pretty vastly different. Or maybe it’s just a result of the fact that I took my post-secondary education at a Liberal Arts school. I can tell you the social and political concepts behind most (well, that seems arrogant. Many?) historical events, but when Paul asked me for the dates of things, the best answer I could give was “fuck if I know!” International Capitols? I don’t think I *ever* studied those in school. I was in pretty big trouble when I realized that the section I was doing best on was math. Oh dear.

Suffice to say, I didn’t get enough points to allow me back into school, and I engaged in some serious misbehavior in the process. Mr. Kennedy went off to find something with which to address these issues and he returned with a heavy leather paddle, which I insisted was not for use on me and had been left in the house after having been used to punish some other young lady who lived there before me. This didn’t fly, and I found myself getting soundly spanked. I was soon repentant, and I promised that I’d do better, bite no one and show respect for my school if allowed back. Satisfied with this, Paul sat me down to write lines while he stepped out for a moment. I *tried* to sit quietly and write “I am not a bear” (being a bear had been an excuse for biting) over and over again, but eventually, boredom took its toll and I finished off with “I am not writing this anymore” instead. Unsure of what I would do next, since being caught with this assignment unfinished would surely lead to more correction, I went and hid in on the floor of the study’s closet with the door shut. This would have worked out for at least a little while, except that when Paul returned he found our cat, The Punk, sitting in front of the closet door, meowing and scratching at it. My own cat sold me out, giving away my exact location. This was too funny to let pass, and when the door opened, the game was over, and we both had a laugh about my traitorous feline.

Paul and I had a sweet (and delicious!) Thanksgiving at home together: his first Thanksgiving ever! The next day he had to leave to go back to England for the next several months (he’s still there), so it was a bittersweet time.


I kept myself as busy as possible during the month of December, so I wouldn’t feel too lonely without Paul around. This involved seeing Maddy Marks and Christy Cutie as often as was possible, and doing lots of vanilla outings with Rafa and Zeki. After the first half of the month had passed, I flew to New York where I visited my family and had some spanking adventures, which I will spend less time dwelling on here since they are in far more recent memory. I spent a few days staying with Sarah Gregory, and we had lots of girly fun, plus I got to be spanked under the Christmas tree for her site’s Christmas special. I also got to meet up with, and get spanked by Kelly Payne for Tantrum Trainers, as described here:

That shoot was very laid back and a lot of fun. I get along really well with Kelly, and I certainly consider her one of my friends. We chatted a bit and caught up before we did our scene. It was very long and quite hard, plus it was all done over the knee. I’m wearing some shimmery stockings. This made me very happy. Kelly spanked me so hard for so long with her hand that she actually got a blood blister during the shoot. Fortunately, she had a paddle nearby to switch to nearby. That paddle stung crazily. The hand-spanking had been long and thorough, and it had sort of mesmerized me. My whole existence was hot and swollen as smack after smack fell on my bottom. The paddling cut through that, making each swat a strong peak of sensation. I was actually thinking about this while I was being spanked, at first, before it overwhelmed me: I was imagining making meringue, and watching as “stiff peaks form” as the recipe describes it. I felt like such peaks of sensation and pain were forming for me. Eventually, though, everything blurred together as I reached the point of being overwhelmed (in a good way, of course). I started to cry and to apologize and, near the end, started to have trouble talking. You know a video has actually pushed me when I start insisting that I can’t talk anymore near the end of it (or, in the case of this more severe video, quite early on in the spanking!).

Erica made a post a little while ago about not being able to articulate what happens in her mind during a spanking. I have the same experience. Once it reaches a certain point, it overwhelms my brain’s ability to break sensation down and put it into language. One minute I’m interpreting my spanking through a visual metaphor relating to pie-making, the next, there are no words. It’s just… there. Everything in my mind is the spanking and it exists in a place which, despite my efforts, I can’t reach to describe with language. This is something which commonly happens to me in my “real life” play (it’s pretty normal for Paul to try to talk to me while cuddling me after a scene and for me to insist that I “can’t brain”) but only happens on film every now and again, so it was kind of exciting.

I had actual Christmas with my family: a lowkey event without decorations or a tree or anything like that, since my mom was just moving into her new home post Hurricane Katrina AND was wheelchair bound following a broken hip. New Year’s eve was spent playing Katamari Damacy with my brother. In a certain way, it seemed fitting to end my year of transition without really fully diving into the holidays. The year had been that way. It was chock full of special moments that I’m going to treasure forever, but they weren’t on the days that the calendar tells us to make memories.

My 2014 has been going well so far. I’ve been living up to my resolutions to finish getting as set up in my new home as possible and to read more books. I haven’t, however, been keeping up with my blogging the way I wanted to. It’s been a long time since I posted as regularly as I’d like to. Before, this was because I was constantly traveling, then it was because I was focusing on getting settled in my new place. Recently? It’s been because I’ve been intentionally keeping myself as busy as possible to keep myself from being lonely while Paul is away. This means that I’m rarely ever at home and not doing anything, which has done wonders for my mood but horrors for my blogging! Fingers crossed I can keep posting on a regular basis!

I’ve had so many adventures now that I have to push myself to get the posts out before the memories begin to fade. I’ll be doing two kinds of posts while working on this: the “party report” type posts that tell you what happened when and where and at least three “scene stories” that do a more intimate look at a particular spanking and what it meant to me. Stay. Tuned.
That said, I’m currently in Europe, so my posting schedule might be a bit erratic. I’m obviously going to do my best. 🙂

After many exciting adventures in Los Angeles, including spending a great deal of time with Mila Kohl, I got on my plane and headed for Las Vegas. I’ve been there twice before: once with Malignus and Heather Green for tourism purposes and once for Shadowlane. When I arrived, Lily Starr and Robert Wolf were kind enough to pick me up and bring me back to the hotel. I was energetic and apprehensive in a positive way. I had a lot of people that I was looking forward to seeing and I had built anticipation for several scenes. There were people I’d be finally getting to play with, friends I hadn’t seen in a long time and, of course, YS. You may remember that back in October I reported that I had begun a D/s relationship with him. There have been several times since then when I’ve talked a little bit here and there about certain aspects of that dynamic. Still, I hadn’t actually seen him since we began that, and I was really, really looking forward to that. I kept bouncing around the backseat of the car and talking way too quickly. I also felt physically a bit gross, though. Even though my flight was very short, it had a broken air conditioning system and I was seated next to two middle school age boys: not people known for their excellent personal hygiene. I was looking forward to freshening up.

While we were en route to the hotel, we got a call and were asked to go to Dana Kane‘s place to pick up Princess Kelley. We did that, and I was happy to get to see Dana, her wonderful husband and their sweet cat, Noodle for a minute. Hugs all around! I am really hoping that I’ll get to see Dana at some point next month. She’s just one of my favorite people. 🙂

When we arrived at the hotel, we took all my luggage (as seen in the last post) up to Joe and Ten’s suite. I was spending Thursday night with them, and planning on moving in with YS and ellee when they arrived on Friday. Because the room where I was staying was also the party room, I was going to have to see everyone for a moment before I could get showered and changed. We knocked on the door and it was opened… by Richard Windsor.

Now, for those of you who don’t know, I’d basically spent the past month or so being a very badly behaved girl towards him over the internet for the purpose of funsies. The whole thing will require at least one post of it’s own, but it’s the stuff of legend, in my humble opinion. There will be poems and songs for generations. 😛

Anticipation building via twitter earlier that day

Over the last couple of days leading up to the party my “being bad is fun!” bubble had popped and I was very contrite and apprehensive towards the chastisement that I knew I’d be receiving, and I felt rather shy around Mr. Windsor when I first arrived. We had about five seconds of friendly, positive interaction, yet it gave me a whole new case of butterflies. I then ran around the room saying hi to everyone. I was pleasantly surprised to see Whooperine there. I had no idea that he was coming, and it was the best news ever. I basically catapulted into his arms and gave him a kiss. At this point, though I had reached a state of sweaty mania and I was running from person to person, hugging and bouncing and being overly energetic and entirely unpresentable looking. My hair was a mess and I had on JEANS (curse the day!) so I gathered up my bathroom stuff and snuck off to get presentable. I intentionally calmed myself down in the shower (doing all the “be here, now” stuff that Malignus has lovingly instilled in me over the years) and felt much better after getting myself cleaned up and put together. I got into a skirt and top and went back to the party. At this point Richard had vacated the room, which I found slightly disappointing as I’d had liked to make sure he didn’t think I was running away from him out of fear or something, but basically everyone else was still there. After a little more talking, I had a new goal: I needed to pop the lid off this spanking thing.

I ended up starting my party play for the weekend with Robert. This was a somewhat unusual choice on my part. There are two factors that go into how hard a person spanks me. The first is a combination of that person’s preference and ability. This is the Top’s side of consent: we can only play as hard as (s)he is able to play and desires to. The second factor is my comfort with that person. The more I know someone, the more comfortable I am with being spanked severely by them. Malignus obviously gets the highest possible score in this system, being both a very mean sadist and one of the loves of my life. Robert is pretty close to the top, though. We’ve developed a great bond over the years and, to put it bluntly, he’s mean as fuck (in a good way). He’s one of the people I’ve played with the hardest, period. So he’s not someone that I usually would consider asking to be nice to me. It’s almost mean to him! “Here, Robert! I’m going to get over your lap and whimper and squirm as you spank me and I DON’T want you to make it all that hard!” is like telling me “Here, Alex! I’m going to give you this cute bunny and I DON’T want you to cuddle it.” The spanking was really nice, though. He clearly restrained himself out of the heart-age. (Note: I am not implying that Robert murderizes every girl he plays with. That’s just our relationship). After that, I sat on his lap and snuggled for a while as I talked to him and Lily. I felt really good: happy, content and surrounded by people I love.

Just a few minutes later, I was over Drlectr’s lap for another spanking. Drlectr is really special to me, and I love being spanked by him. I adore knowing that he’s probably got a grin on his face that he can’t stop while he lays into me, and his lap is one of those where I feel the safest and snuggliest. I think that I also abused my snuggling-on-someone’s-lap-after-a-spanking privileges after that scene, too.

My last play for the night took place when H, Cali Katerina’s husband, decided to catch up with me over this photo:

I stuck this little gem of Christy Cutie, myself and Maddy Marks on Twitter a little while ago with the caption “Sterwood Girls gone wild!” The three of us all shoot for Sternwood Academy, so it seemed like a funny idea since we were all half naked and partying.

“You’re a Sternwood Girl!” H reprimanded me, clearly in roleplay mode. “You should know better than to be running off to wild parties! You’ll disgrace the institution!”

I was then bent over for a good, firm but not too firm paddling until I confessed the errors of my ways.
Everyone knows that I am a very good girl who does not do ridiculous things at parties, anyway.
Yes, I’m sure that’s what the next few posts will prove.

The other day, I noticed that things had gotten out of hand with my lack of blogging. Blogging had ceased to be a regular thing and become something that happened once in a while. I, of course, blamed this largely on the fact that I’m almost never home these days, but even that isn’t really an excuse. I can write when I’m busy. It just takes a certain level of dedication. Fortunately, I have a fairly new Boss of Me: my bestie, ellee’s husband, YS (his name is YoggSothoth on fetlife, but I find that too long to type). Included in my new set of rules for this relationship is the fact that I’ll be updating at least twice a week. I’ll also point out that YS has given me bunny related coloring as an assignment and this, my friends, is why Poly D/s works: because that’s the kind of thing that makes Malignus die inside.

 That said, I was very excited to see that my first half of my adventures in Colorado (which took place over a month ago, now, I’m ashamed to say) was featured on Chross the weekend after I posted it. Unfortunately, I started to write my next post while traveling home from my second Denver excursion. Following Denver, I was home for a few days with my most beloved Malignus. I spent as much of that time as I could with him, and the rest cleaning things up, organizing and preparing for my next trip. I then left for Chicago Crimson Moon, and then a day off at Ten Amorette’s place. I arrived home late Tuesday night and had a crazy first week back with my attempts to get caught up on a lot of things and settle back into the home routine.

When I left off, I believe I had told you all about how a very mean Robert had cut switches, and how we had brought them back to the house where Malignus had also used said dreaded arboreal implement on me. After he finished with me, I’m pretty sure he also switched Heather W. He then started looking around for Amoni, but couldn’t find her. ellee informed him that she had broken her ankle and gone to the hospital. Several minutes later, she was found hiding in the secret room under the stairs. I suppose she intended to stay there for the entire party. It wasn’t the worst plan, really. ellee probably could have brought her food to keep her alive for the rest of the weekend. Unfortunately, in a house with a room called “the secret room,” it’s pretty easy to figure out where someone might go for a hiding place. She was quickly dragged out and brought to justice over the ping pong table. It turned into quite an event, with many people sitting on the beanbag chairs in that were intended for watching TV in order to view much more interesting programming. Other girls were enlisted to hold Amoni’s hands and feet, as she’s a very active bottom (“This isn’t jazzercise!” Malignus had exclaimed earlier while Amoni was getting spanked by Robert and kept kicking her feet up). After Amoni had been thoroughly dealt with, she got hugged by just about everyone. Later, ellee was also corrected for her part in attempting to create a subterfuge regarding Amoni’s location. 🙂

Shortly after that, we all kind of plopped on the bean bags to talk and hang out. Malignus still had his switch in hand. This is something that he tends to do at a party– he’ll just hold onto an implement for a while. I suppose it’s a “just in case” kind of thing, or maybe it’s meant to intimidate the heck out of all the girls in a room (which works on me, at least). I was sitting in a dress, with my legs visible  and I had one of my terrible thoughts. Sometimes, the morbid curiosity of something really gets the best of me. As much as I know I’m not going to like what I discover, I sometimes want to know how something feels badly enough that I’ll ask for something downright awful. Besides, active submission is always a good thing, and I’ve always gotten a lot out of asking for the most awful of things, when I can muster the courage to do so. Anyway, I asked him to hit me on the front of my thighs with the switch. He did so three times, making me cry and yelp quite a bit. There was hugging, and I rubbed my welts, feelings sufficiently like I now knew what that felt like. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about the differences between switches and canes of various types, and I think I’ve finally come to the conclusion that switches are not as bad as nearly all canes, but are very similar in sensation. The exception to this, of course, is when a switch is not entirely “clean” and has little nodules on it which scratch or tear the skin, or when the switch in question is made of rawhide, which is entirely unacceptable. I was going over these thoughts in my mind after my thigh switching when Malignus decided that there was “too much of a gap” between two of the welts. Instead of fixing this “problem” with the switch, he got a rattan cane and ordered me to lie back. I believe there was extremely minor protesting (mostly sad faces, perhaps a few whimpers) but I did as I was told.
The pain was considerable. It filled my body with adrenaline immediately. I think I sort of folded onto myself.
“Oh, no! I missed and hit you right on your welt from the switch!” Malignus said. (Note: he did not actually miss. He never actually misses. “Misses” are just an excuse to give me extra strokes.) Being as good as I could, I lay still for another stroke, this one seeming much harder than the last. I sat still catching my breath a bit before getting lots of hugs time and cuddles. It was one of “those” things. I just hated it while it was happening. It was the worst thing ever. I wasn’t even that fond of the physical feeling afterwards. But everything about it felt perfect. I felt wonderfully submissive and very Dominated (which are, to me, distinct feelings, since I can feel submissive all on my own) as well as warm with affection, adrenaline and endorphines. I can’t exactly describe why I love that sort of thing so much, but I do.

I think that in the upper right hand corner, Malignus is threatening to poke the welts with the corner of his cigarette box.

Another thing which was super entertaining, whose location in time I can’t properly place, was when Heather W. spanked me. For those of you who don’t know, Heather W (or Parttimelondoner, or PTL) is a minor boss of me. I say “minor” because she doesn’t really boss me full time. She just occasionally gets the urge, and when she gets the urge her bossiness is very real. She has also been a wonderful role model for me, as she is older and more experienced in things, has great social skills and is very talented at knowing when and where “bling” is appropriate. Anyway, she had always threatened to spank me with a flip flop, so on the way to the cabin from the airport, she and ellee, YS and Zoey stopped at Walmart to pick up a few extra things. One of those was a “special” pair of flip flops for Heather to spank me with. Apparently there was a lot of consideration put into this, and she made sure not to get one which was “too mean” for me.  Later at the cabin, she sat down next to Malignus on the coach and I lay over both their laps while she spanked me with the flip flop.


After this was complete, Heather handed the flip flop off to Malignus, and that happened. Yep, the scariest man on Earth spanked me with a fluffy, pink flip flop. And it still hurt.

Over panties with kitties on them, no less! Parties are different than the real world. 😛

A few days after the cabin trip was over, I was leaving for a trip to Los Angeles. When I pointed this out to Lily and Robert, they invited me to go to Disneyland with them, and this actually appeared that it would work out! It was something that I got excited about a few times a day. Then, one night, Robert pulled me upstairs to spank me (or I pounced him and demanded he beat me. Somewhere in the middle of those two things, I guess). I know that he enjoys listening to my pathetic wails and, most of all, my crying, so I didn’t hold back. Besides, he spanks hard, and it’s well documented that a hairbrush on the back of my thighs has long been my nemesis. So, he spanked me hard and murdered my thighs thoroughly and I cried and sniffled. When it was over and he stood me up for a hug, he tussled my hair and said “We’re going to Disneyland!”
Best. Aftercare. Ever.

I had *bruises*! Rare! 

On the last night, we were all spread out in the cabin, doing our own things. Then someone suggested that we make s’mores, and I got everything together. I actually didn’t know much about roasting marshmallows, so YS took the time to show me how to do it perfectly. I always feel special and loved when someone is teaching me something. Unfortunately, once I got some perfect marshmallows going, no one was coming over to eat s’mores. I got mad. And I got Toppy. And, apparently, slightly crazy. I yelled out to the house the following message: “THE FIRST RULE OF S’MORES IS YOU ALL SHUT THE FUCK UP AND COME HERE AND EAT S’MORES.”
Only one person did.
I’m not good at being the boss. -_-

A final, lovely memory is getting one of the nicest spankings of my life. At one point, YS put me over his lap and gave me a hand spanking that must have lasted 40 minutes. I just let go of all other things and blissed out over his lap. I felt safe and comfortable and protected while being in that most vulnerable of positions. He alternated between being rhythmic and soothing and hard enough to make me squirm and I floated away into one the happiest of places. It was really one of the nicest things ever. I’m constantly fascinated and amazed by how much awesome variety can come under the heading of “spanking.” The same activity can last 40 minutes and make me coo or bring genuine tears to my eyes in five seconds or less, and I love all of it (in it’s own way).

Anyway, the cabin was a great success, except for the fact that getting everyone back to the airport was a huge fiasco and we bought way too much food. But, if those were the biggest problems of the weekend, I’m pretty okay with that. ♥

I’m very behind on things again, unfortunately. Time for a little catch up.

At the end of September, I organized a cabin party in the mountains of Colorado. I’d been planning this for a long time, and it had caused me various sorts of stress. Finding the right cabin was extremely difficult: we were originally planning on having a group of twenty people, so we needed a big space, and because it was a spanking party, we needed a place that was secluded enough for us to thoroughly enjoy the great outdoors. My very dear friend, Amoni, was priceless in helping me with this, as she lives in the area. She went around and checked places out for me during the planning stages. Finally, we found one that was perfect: big enough for everyone, beautifully designed, chock full of amenities and, most importantly, in the middle of nowhere. I’d assembled an all-star group of friends to come out, including Amoni, Lily Starr and Robert Wolf, Heather Wayland, ellee and YoggSothoth, Whooperine, WearYouOut and LilLawBrat, -lostkitten and locals and newcomers to my friends group, JoeDimWit, DarkSteven and DarkStevensGirl. Obviously, there was also me and Malignus. 🙂

There were, of course, lots of other people I would have liked to have there in addition, including BradD, who was scheduled to come but suffered from medical problems and needed surgery during the party, which was incredibly disappointing for everyone, but also Ten Amorette and Drlectr and Beth Eisley, who all had other engagements that weekend. The group we did have, though, was just awesome. Everyone got along. There was no drama. The only tears were caused by spankings. People bonded and made new friends. I felt kind of like a huge winner for bringing everyone together.

The first night that we arrived was surprisingly relaxing. I gave people tours of the cabin as they got there, and we located and hid in the SECRET ROOM that had been advertised on the website and which we had all chatted about in advance quite a bit on our google group where we got to know each other. This was actually pretty easy to find, but I was still pleased with it. There was also a copious amount of hugging that first night. I was just so overjoyed to see everyone. I was constantly bouncing around. When ellee and YS arrived, we exchanged some presents that we had collected for each other, because we’re the kind of besties who get each other cute things. ellee is really good at buying presents. I was overjoyed. In the middle of mini-Christmas, though, YS came into the room with an implement and a semi-serious look on his face. Heather, ellee, YS and -lostkitten had carpooled from the airport together, and they had taken longer than I determined acceptable, so I got a little beyond my bounds and sent a text to Heather scolding YS for getting everyone lost and taking too long. This was about to catch up to me in the form of my first spanking of the party. My sense of self preservation must not have been unpacked yet, though, because when he said “You got a little mouthy there, Alex” I responded with “My mouth was not involved! I was texting!”
Surprisingly, this did not save me, and I got ten firm swats, followed by a very nice hug and more presents. Have I mentioned that YS and ellee are pretty much my favorite people ever to live? Yes. That.

We grilled a variety of burgers and hot dogs for dinner, went in the hot tub and enjoyed the pleasure of one and other’s company for the first several hours of the evening. Then, later, we moved to the downstairs and the spanking began in full. A lot of this took place with girls bending over the ping pong table (which I suppose is appropriate, because it *is* designed for use with paddles!) and a lot of the play was done fairly publicly. That first night, someone was showing off a London Tanner’s strap of some sort and Malignus decided that he wanted to try it on me, so I went over the table and experienced that rather thoroughly. I scrunch my face at leather. It is not my favorite thing. There’s something undeniably nice about getting spanked in front of a bunch of people who like you, though. There was a lot of moral support, praise for being a good girl and holding still, and general “awwwwww”ing, especially when I shed a few tears. Shortly thereafter, Robert got Lily in the same position with a number of straps and he made her more colored than I’d ever seen her before! It’s really fun to watch Robert spanking someone who isn’t me.

ellee had special markers that allowed us to color on the windows and then just wipe it off, so there was window coloring, and therefore much rejoicing. Then Malignus found this stupid plastic snake that we have in our implement bag. I bought it as a joke for a potential “Does This Hurt?” video with Heather Green a long time ago, but we promptly discovered that YES, THIS HURTS. It’s a mofo, no other word for it. Stingy and weight bearing. It leaves these little lines of agony where it lands. Malignus got most of the females in the room with it in various locations. Stupid snake.

It’s actually incredibly difficult to write a chronology of the weekend, because a lot of things happened at once, it’s been a little while, there were 15 different stories being told at once and because many things happened that were very personal for me. I’ll just be skipping around a lot.

We had a lot of great times where a bunch of girls would glomp on the girl who was getting spanked at the moment and hold her hands, stroke her hair, snuggle her, et cetera. It was a sort of house-wide version of the Moral Support Spanking from the last cabin party that I went to, where ellee snuggled me while Malignus spanked me very hard. During these moral support sessions, Amoni frequently called out “You got this!” to support the spankee. It has since become “a thing.”

Sometime on the second day YoggSothoth got me pretty thoroughly with a rawhide switch (which I hate) that WearYouOut and LilLawBrat (who I love despite this) somehow thought it was a good idea to bring with them. Afterwards, my skin was a little nicked up, as is sometimes the case with switchings, I get. Fortunately, ellee is a doctor, so after her husband finished creating my wounds, she easily tended to them and had me back in perfect playing shape (besides being super sore, of course).

Post switching marks!

We also had lots of fun times in the hot tub at night, including exciting adventures in Alex taking her shirt off. This lead to me getting spanked in the hot tub (go figure) and one night, upon my return inside, I discovered a group of Tops sitting around talking. Apparently it had somehow become “a thing” that girls returning from the hot tub were to receive a round robin style spanking from everyone in the living room. I was all dripping wet and kind of cold, so I was a little hesitant about this idea. None the less, the circle began with the switches: LilLawBrat and Amoni double teamed me while I lay over both laps at once. Then I moved over to Malignus, who, obviously, spanked me very thoroughly (this *is* my boyfriend that we’re talking about here). Immediately after that, I was over Robert’s lap, at which point I was building up tears. The circle finished with WearYouOut, who has the hardest hand of anyone who has ever spanked me. This broke the tear barrier, which made Robert say “Mmmmmm!”

Photo by Amoni. You can sort of see where I’m patched up in one spot. You can also see that the color goes so far down my thighs that it basically goes out of frame. 😛

The next morning, ellee, YoggSothoth, Robert, Whooperine, PTL and myself decided to go on a little nature walk. I was kind of okay with the fact that Malignus was sleeping at this time, since the last time I went on a nature walk with him at a spanking party, this happened:

Yeah, he’s spanking me with a tree.

We stopped at a cable spool so that the ladies could take turns bending over it while YS spanked us with his belt. Here’s me:

It was a most enjoyable outdoor spanking, and I really enjoy the way that YS uses a belt. It hurt without being a “this is miserable” kind of hurting. Having amazing underpants that were a gift from ellee didn’t make things worse, either! This particular set of spankings was also noteworthy because PTL got her very first outdoor spanking! I said it was like getting an achievement on PSN. Outdoor spanking unlocked!

We traveled on and came across a series of small, young birch trees. The area that I chose to get a cabin in happened to, entirely by chance, be largely without deciduous trees, so this was a bit of a rarity. As we viewed them, the Tops pointed out that they were very supple and swishy looking and would make excellent switches.

“Oh darn!” I exclaimed. “No one has a knife with them. What a shame. I guess we can’t have any switches.”

Robert pulled a knife out of his pocket. If life was a comic book, there would have been a “SNIKT” sound effect. My face looked like this: -_-.

Shortly after a large number of switches had been cut, we climbed up to a small tree house. We got inside and ellee and I received treehouse switchings. The joy of being in a treehouse and being spanked while viewing an incredible landscape almost took away the sting. Key word: almost.

In position

ellee got spanked a lot at this party 😛

Once we got back up to the house with the switches, of course, Malignus got me with one, as well.

Photo by Amoni again 😀

This post is getting very long and filled with stories and photos. I have more of them, of course, but I feel like this a good stopping point for now.
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Oh, Hai!


Los Angeles, California, United States

First and foremost, I’m a girl who loves being spanked. It’s at the very center of my being. I’m also a professional spanking model, which means I get to do what I love for my job. I’m twenty six years old, and currently located in Los Angeles when I’m not traveling around on my adventures. My vanilla interests include poetry, film history, academia, Pokemon, indie music, baby animals, baking and cooking, collecting vintage clothes and lots of cuddling.

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